Does anyone here know of any stories of guys being raped by girls?

[somanymistakes]

All assault is bad - the question in some circles is whether you're bringing that up in order to try and help more people, or in order to try and shut other people up so they get less help.

 

"These people also need help!" good. "It happens to everyone so stop complaining!" not good.

 

"Stop trying to help group X unless you give at least as much attention to group Y!" is a problem because it distracts everyone into having to argue over who needs help most so they waste a lot of effort on arguing rather than helping anybody. In a peeing match everyone loses.

 

I'm just gonna restate what I said before.

 

 

 

As for the bit about what "counts" as rape - it is somewhat relevant if you're having a discussion about figures that use that legal definition. If someone is talking about the number of men who have been raped, it's important to know if they're using that particular definition, because if so, then the number is going to be obviously undercounted because it's leaving other things out.

 

But when you're dealing with people that have had bad things happen to them, it doesn't matter what legal category they fall into unless you're a judge or a lawyer or something who actually needs to define that.

[knabe]

Here's the deal: if your compassion is real, you won't be offended or insulted by the sad truth that men are assaulted and harassed too. If that makes you mad, then your compassion is lopsided. And you probably need to check on that. Because yes - ALL assaults matter. Just as all lives do and all people do.

 

A person who can't recognize that without making it some "thing" has empathy issues.

[O'Malley]

I've known two men who were assaulted. One was molested at 11 by an teen aged stepbrother, the other, in college, was unconscious due to intoxication when a woman performed oral sex on him (she bragged about what she did). The former only told some of us when the perpetrator, years later as an adult, raped another boy and was convicted, the latter was angry but was conflicted about being raped and declined to report the incident to police - the same reactions that women who have been assaulted go through. Sad to say that there are still some people who don't think it's rape if the victim was aroused (which is the body's form of self-preservation from damage) or that a man can't be forced physically against his will.

[wmacbride]

Because society is not actually very equal and sometimes women do need to take centre stage to get their point across.

In the same way black people needed to do with their "Black lives matter" movement,

They tried to highlight the problems BLACK people were having, but that was quickly countered by the "ALL lives matter" brigade...

 

Sorry, I don't agree.

 

If someone says " a person was raped", who come to your mind first? Is it a man or a woman?

 

How many crisis centers, hotlines, therapists are there for men who have been raped or assaulted ( except maybe for children who were abused). Very few if any.

 

Until this is seen as a problem faced by all PEOPLE, nothing, and I mean nothing is really going to change ( and I say that as one of the "me too" people, and it involved violence). In fact, it actually makes the situation worse. Finally, men who may have been too embarrassed or afraid to talk finally have a reason to speak up, and they are squashed.

 

That does a disservice to all genders.

[ZayKayWill]

Of course men get raped all the time, all over the world, but the definition of "rape" is clear and what you experienced was not rape in the correct use of the term, unless they actually penetrated you.

 

In the UK the penetration has to be by a penis in order for it to be termed rape, if penetrated by something else it is termed assault by penetration

 

If it's not rape then what would you call it?

[elaine567]

If it's not rape then what would you call it?

 

It is not about what I call it it is about the proper use of the word.

Anything that isn't rape is termed

"Sexual assault."

"Sexual coercion"

"Causing a person to engage in sexual activity without consent"

"Assault by penetration"

etc. etc.

and numerous other similarly defined crimes.

It depends on where you live as to how it would be defined and and the nature of the assault.

 

Rape has a specific meaning, you cannot just bandy the term around and use it to mean what YOU want it to mean, it doesn't work like that.

It is not about minimising other forms of sexual assault as they can carry heavy penalties too and can be just as damaging to the individual(s) involved, but "rape" is not a general "cover all" term and really should not be used in that way.

 

Men and women get raped, men and women get sexually assaulted too.

[Cookiesandough]

So it's not considered rape in the UK if a woman arouses a man against his will and forces him penetrate her?

Edited October 24, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[elaine567]

So it's not considered rape in the UK if a woman arouses a man against his will and forces him penetrate her?

 

True that would not be called rape in the UK, the charge would not be one of rape.

 

It is not possible for a woman to rape a man because of the legal definition of rape. This is because the definition demands that a penis must penetrate a vagina, anus or mouth without consent. The insertion of objects other than a penis is classified as a ‘serious sexual assault' as opposed to rape. So effectively, only men are able to commit an offence of rape.

However, a woman can be recognised as having legally raped a man if she is an accomplice to an offence. For example, if a woman assists a man to rape another person, such as by holding them down or tying them up, she would be guilty of the offence. Even if the offending woman was not present for the rape but conspired with the rapist, she could be found guilty through the offence of aiding and abetting.

[wmacbride]

It is not about what I call it it is about the proper use of the word.

Anything that isn't rape is termed

"Sexual assault."

"Sexual coercion"

"Causing a person to engage in sexual activity without consent"

"Assault by penetration"

etc. etc.

and numerous other similarly defined crimes.

It depends on where you live as to how it would be defined and and the nature of the assault.

 

Rape has a specific meaning, you cannot just bandy the term around and use it to mean what YOU want it to mean, it doesn't work like that.

It is not about minimising other forms of sexual assault as they can carry heavy penalties too and can be just as damaging to the individual(s) involved, but "rape" is not a general "cover all" term and really should not be used in that way.

 

Men and women get raped, men and women get sexually assaulted too.

 

Fair enough, but many here don't live in the UK, so the terms used there are not relevant. Here, rape isn't even a legal term, and has been replaced by the term "sexual assault" as it is seen as a form of physical assault with a sexual component to it, and it can apply to men, women and children. There is no special "women only " group.

 

Really, I don't see why semantics have to enter the discussion at all, unless someone is trying to analyze statistics.

 

In the end, it's all about people being hurt and hopefully, society feeling that it doesn't matter what gender or age a person is...their body is their own, and they have every right to say "no", and if that is ignored, they should all be able to seek help without feeling embarrassed or ashamed.

 

It was bad enough reporting it as a teenage girl. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a guy.

[knabe]

Let's call a spade a spade here. The only people who want to get into a debate over word smithing are people who just want to minimize what happens to men.

[elaine567]

No-one wants to minimise what happens to men, men get raped all over the world it is an instrument of war, it is about exerting power and control over and instilling fear in and humiliating the enemy.

It is also widespread in civilian life too, it is all about targetting those perceived as "lesser" or younger and no doubt has caused these men untold damage.

Men ARE coming forward we have had the Catholic church abuse scandals and more recently the football coach abuse investigations where scores of young men and boys were found to have been/are still being abused.

We are getting there.

 

I think we do need gender specific support groups as abused men are hardly going to present themselves to a whole load of women and abused women are hardly going to present themselves to a whole load of men. Making everything gender neutral would I guess keep some from saying anything at all...

People like to talk to those who they know went through the same things, so it that means women only or men only or LGBT et al only groups or victims of CSA only groups then fine by me.

[nospam99]

Can't keep up my resistance to chiming in. My perspective is as a person old enough to remember when there was a whole lot less political correctness.

 

Rape is forcible penetration with a penis. End of discussion.

 

The statutory rape(different from rape)/consent "thing' should be rolled back to 10 years old. At 13 I knew what consent was. I would have known and understood at 10 if my parents were not too prudish to fully explain the anatomy of intercourse. So 10 year olds are "mature" enough to say "yes" or "no". "But that's just you, nospam." Bull****. There are plenty of 20, 30, 40, etc somethings who are not and will never be "mature" enough. So it's not age. It's maturity. So above 10, get the whole "old enough to consent" out of it.

 

Consent? Grow up. If someone is stupid enough to get passed-out-drunk, passed-out-stoned, etc and can't wake up cognicent enough to say "no", they have, by there action, given "consent".

 

Besides rape as I've defined it, you can call other crimes involving genitals whatever you want. "Assault" works for me. "Sexual assault" is fine if you want to make the distinction that the attack upon the person involved either the victim's or the attacker's genitals. I'll even open the definition up to penetration of the anus or mouth with something other than a penis.

 

Just sayin'

 

We now return to our regular programming.

Edited October 24, 2017 by nospam99

[knabe]

Can't keep up my resistance to chiming in. My perspective is as a person old enough to remember when there was a whole lot less political correctness.

 

Rape is forcible penetration with a penis. End of discussion.

 

The statutory rape(different from rape)/consent "thing" should be rolled back to 10 years old. At 13 I knew what consent was. I would have known and understood at 10 if my parents were not too prudish to fully explain the anatomy of intercourse. So 10 year olds are "mature" enough to say "yes" or "no". "But that's just you, nospam." Bull****. There are plenty of 20, 30, 40, etc somethings who are not and will never be "mature" enough. So it's not age. It's maturity. So above 10, get the whole "old enough to consent" out of it.

 

Consent? Grow up. If someone is stupid enough to get passed-out-drunk, passed-out-stoned, etc and can't wake up cognicent enough to say "no", they have, by there action, given "consent".

 

Besides rape as I've defined it, you can call other crimes involving genitals whatever you want. "Assault" works for me. "Sexual assault" is fine if you want to make the distinction that the attack upon the person involved either the victim's or the attacker's genitals. I'll even open the definition up to penetration of the anus or mouth with something other than a penis.

 

Just sayin'

 

We now return to our regular programming.

 

Too bad (and Thank God) that the laws in most states do not agree with you. If you find no problem with an adult having "consensual" sex with a 12 year old....I suggest counseling.

[wmacbride]

No-one wants to minimise what happens to men, men get raped all over the world it is an instrument of war, it is about exerting power and control over and instilling fear in and humiliating the enemy.

It is also widespread in civilian life too, it is all about targetting those perceived as "lesser" or younger and no doubt has caused these men untold damage.

Men ARE coming forward we have had the Catholic church abuse scandals and more recently the football coach abuse investigations where scores of young men and boys were found to have been/are still being abused.

We are getting there.

 

I think we do need gender specific support groups as abused men are hardly going to present themselves to a whole load of women and abused women are hardly going to present themselves to a whole load of men. Making everything gender neutral would I guess keep some from saying anything at all...

People like to talk to those who they know went through the same things, so it that means women only or men only or LGBT et al only groups or victims of CSA only groups then fine by me.

 

Actually, your post is dismissive of men.

 

Notice how the groups your mention involve (a) a time of war or conflict (b) child abuse/ abuse by a coach. They are either children, young people or there is some sort of crisis going on.

 

Adult men do get raped by people they don't know, by strangers and close acquaintances too, just like women. As more women are moving up the corporate ladder, men are being sexually harassed in the workplace. I know it doesn't fit into the view some segments of society have of men being predators out to attack helpless women, but the reality may be very different than what some ultra-feminists want everyone else to believe.

 

Then there are gay men and women, bisexual men and women, transgendered people, etc. They are at a high risk of attack as well. Separate support groups is one thing, but so long as it's viewed he way it is by some people, men will still be embarrassed to come forward.

[nospam99]

If you find no problem with an adult having "consensual" sex with a 12 year old....I suggest counseling.

 

I have a problem with it. But my problem is personal and moral, not legal. May I ask what you think the age threshold for consent should be and on what you base that opinion? I've already stated that my basis is my personal experience. I am 100% confident that had I been educated (a different issue) I would have been able to make an informed decision to have or not have sex at the age of 12. AND, as my kids grew and I met their classmates, those kids, as well, had the maturity to make the same decision at the same age.

[somanymistakes]

Age of consent probably needs a separate topic as there's a whole lot to say about that.

 

It's especially creepy when you get to situations where a minor isn't allowed to say yes or no but the parent is allowed to give consent for the child, even if the child objects.

 

Also, it should be obvious that if you fall asleep in public, you have not consented to being raped, robbed, or murdered just because you were tired and/or stupid.

[elaine567]

Adult men do get raped by people they don't know, by strangers and close acquaintances too, just like women. As more women are moving up the corporate ladder, men are being sexually harassed in the workplace.

 

Of course but that is covered under the "perceived as lesser" surely?

No-one actually rapes someone who at the time, holds more power than they do. it may be temporary "weakness", it may be induced "weakness", but rape is committed by the stronger over the weaker.

I am not sure why women moving up the corporate ladder matters as my post was about males being raped...

 

Then there are gay men and women, bisexual men and women, transgendered people, etc. They are at a high risk of attack as well.

What do you think "LGBT et al" means then?

[elaine567]

I have a problem with it. But my problem is personal and moral, not legal. May I ask what you think the age threshold for consent should be and on what you base that opinion? I've already stated that my basis is my personal experience. I am 100% confident that had I been educated (a different issue) I would have been able to make an informed decision to have or not have sex at the age of 12. AND, as my kids grew and I met their classmates, those kids, as well, had the maturity to make the same decision at the same age.

 

Child marriage in the US is legal in 2017...

I had no idea until I heard it this morning on the radio.

Why does the US have so many child brides? - BBC News

[Birdies]

Can't keep up my resistance to chiming in. My perspective is as a person old enough to remember when there was a whole lot less political correctness.

 

Rape is forcible penetration with a penis. End of discussion.

 

The statutory rape(different from rape)/consent "thing' should be rolled back to 10 years old. At 13 I knew what consent was. I would have known and understood at 10 if my parents were not too prudish to fully explain the anatomy of intercourse. So 10 year olds are "mature" enough to say "yes" or "no". "But that's just you, nospam." Bull****. There are plenty of 20, 30, 40, etc somethings who are not and will never be "mature" enough. So it's not age. It's maturity. So above 10, get the whole "old enough to consent" out of it.

 

Consent? Grow up. If someone is stupid enough to get passed-out-drunk, passed-out-stoned, etc and can't wake up cognicent enough to say "no", they have, by there action, given "consent".

 

Besides rape as I've defined it, you can call other crimes involving genitals whatever you want. "Assault" works for me. "Sexual assault" is fine if you want to make the distinction that the attack upon the person involved either the victim's or the attacker's genitals. I'll even open the definition up to penetration of the anus or mouth with something other than a penis.

 

Just sayin'

 

We now return to our regular programming.

 

You seriously think that if someone has had enough to drink that they are passed out drunk, they have given consent for someone (anyone?) to have sex with them? Wow. That is seriously fcked up. You sound like a sexual predator. Also if you're going to be going around calling people stupid, it's "their" not "there".

[knabe]

No-one actually rapes someone who at the time, holds more power than they do.

 

The disgusting amount of misandry in this statement is not at all surprising, but it IS still disgusting.

 

This illustrates the significance of the original post and WHY men being assaulted is seem as a shame and/or a tongue in cheek joke. THIS is a statement of someone who is part of the problem.

[wmacbride]

I have a problem with it. But my problem is personal and moral, not legal. May I ask what you think the age threshold for consent should be and on what you base that opinion? I've already stated that my basis is my personal experience. I am 100% confident that had I been educated (a different issue) I would have been able to make an informed decision to have or not have sex at the age of 12. AND, as my kids grew and I met their classmates, those kids, as well, had the maturity to make the same decision at the same age.

 

It's the same reason society has seen fit to keep 12 year olds from drinking, voting, signing a contract, joining the army, driving a car, getting a job, dropping out of school, raising a child alone, etc.

 

Simply put, most 12 year olds simply do not have the life experience to make these sorts of decisions, and while they may be able to absorb information about sex, whether or not they understand it is another question.

[wmacbride]

Age of consent probably needs a separate topic as there's a whole lot to say about that.

 

It's especially creepy when you get to situations where a minor isn't allowed to say yes or no but the parent is allowed to give consent for the child, even if the child objects.

 

Also, it should be obvious that if you fall asleep in public, you have not consented to being raped, robbed, or murdered just because you were tired and/or stupid.

 

 

This is a good point. the law here states that a parent or another adult can't give consent for a minor to have sex.

 

This is an important piece of protection.

[wmacbride]

Of course but that is covered under the "perceived as lesser" surely?

No-one actually rapes someone who at the time, holds more power than they do. it may be temporary "weakness", it may be induced "weakness", but rape is committed by the stronger over the weaker.

I am not sure why women moving up the corporate ladder matters as my post was about males being raped...

 

 

What do you think "LGBT et al" means then?

 

I stated what I did about women because as more women climb the corporate ladder, more are being put into positions of power.

 

Surprise , surprise- turns out some will be just like the men in power, and harass their underlings.

[wmacbride]

Can't keep up my resistance to chiming in. My perspective is as a person old enough to remember when there was a whole lot less political correctness.

 

Rape is forcible penetration with a penis. End of discussion.

 

The statutory rape(different from rape)/consent "thing' should be rolled back to 10 years old. At 13 I knew what consent was. I would have known and understood at 10 if my parents were not too prudish to fully explain the anatomy of intercourse. So 10 year olds are "mature" enough to say "yes" or "no". "But that's just you, nospam." Bull****. There are plenty of 20, 30, 40, etc somethings who are not and will never be "mature" enough. So it's not age. It's maturity. So above 10, get the whole "old enough to consent" out of it.

 

Consent? Grow up. If someone is stupid enough to get passed-out-drunk, passed-out-stoned, etc and can't wake up cognicent enough to say "no", they have, by there action, given "consent".

Besides rape as I've defined it, you can call other crimes involving genitals whatever you want. "Assault" works for me. "Sexual assault" is fine if you want to make the distinction that the attack upon the person involved either the victim's or the attacker's genitals. I'll even open the definition up to penetration of the anus or mouth with something other than a penis.

 

Just sayin'

 

We now return to our regular programming.

 

Um, are you being sarcastic, or do you really believe that the age of consent should be 10, rape should only mean forcible penetration and a woman or man who is passed out drunk or stoned is free game for anyone who is horny?:sick::sick:

 

You say that a 10 year old can know and understand sex ?

 

Your post negates that idea, as at whatever age you might be, you still don't know much about sex....and I am being generous to you when I say that.

[elaine567]

The disgusting amount of misandry in this statement is not at all surprising, but it IS still disgusting.

 

This illustrates the significance of the original post and WHY men being assaulted is seem as a shame and/or a tongue in cheek joke. THIS is a statement of someone who is part of the problem.

 

You seem to love shouting misandry a lot, could that be projection?

 

Of course rape is all about power and wielding power and control over a "weaker" (at the time anyway) individual, anger is also a component in rape too, whether we are talking male or female victims.

No-one is shaming men or joking about men here, where on earth are you getting that from?