Any Multidating Tips???

[Cookiesandough]

Awww girl I'm sorry

 

This is one of those, 'trust your gut' type of moments huh?

 

I hate those because I always feel like I have to learn the hard way

 

But ya, this is probably a no go

 

I just have to say it...have to get it out there...he's just so damn sexy

 

This a total dead end though

 

yep ty its okay

 

Might be worth the date if he's sexy...just saiyan...esp since you were considering some 'fun'? I mean a first date never killed anyone. Could be something there, but if they're absolute deal breakers and you can't do casual it's a waste of time.

Edited August 26, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Dis]

yep ty its okay

 

Might be worth the date if he's sexy...just saiyan...esp since you were considering some 'fun'? I mean a first date never killed anyone. Could be something there, but if they're absolute deal breakers and you can't do casual it's a waste of time.

 

Honestly, I cant do casual. I would love to have some fun and relieve some stress, NSA, but I'm not wired that way

 

I'm afraid if I do go on the date, I'll just get sucked in and focus on him. Considering he's probably not right for me, it would be a waste of time and energy

 

But at the same time, I'm tempted to just go on one date with him...probably just because he's so sexy

 

I'm conflicted now

[No_Go]

A lot of it sounds valid but it could be pre-date stress. If I were you I'll meet him but be watch out for red flags (the ones you mentioned) and don't respond after the date if you're not feeling it.

 

 

Good question Cookies!

 

Ok so, I'm 95% sure he smokes weed. Nurses are scrupulously drug tested using hair samples and even being around weed could make me come up positive. Plus, I dont really agree with marijuana usage unless its for medicinal purposes. Usually, once I found out a guy smoked weed, that was always a deal breaker for me

 

Second, we communicate a lot but he never asks about me. He's not quiet or talking about himself all the time but I just noticed he doesnt know much about me because he's never asked. I really dont like it when guys do that and back when I was 100% into OLD, I always avoided those types. Not sure what happened here. Like I said, my screening game is off

 

Third, he broke up with his ex back in April and he's still living in his friend's apartment. Eh... that doesnt scream stable to me.

 

I just learned most of this today

 

I just dont think this would work...

[Dis]

A lot of it sounds valid but it could be pre-date stress. If I were you I'll meet him but be watch out for red flags (the ones you mentioned) and don't respond after the date if you're not feeling it.

 

I really dont get pre-date stress. If I want to go out with someone and genuinely feel there is potential, I'm always super excited to meet them

 

At this point in my life, and because I'm such an all or nothing type of person, I dont see the point in going out with someone if I'm 95% sure the person isnt right for me

[No_Go]

I really dont get pre-date stress. If I want to go out with someone and genuinely feel there is potential, I'm always super excited to meet them

 

At this point in my life, and because I'm such an all or nothing type of person, I dont see the point in going out with someone if I'm 95% sure the person isnt right for me

 

Oh answer is clear then: cancel on him, since it is before you met, it will be easier for both that way.

[Seriousperson]

Thanks everyone for your feedback. I love the insight!

 

In all honesty, I've been burned and beaten down so much, I'm much more realistic than I used to be (hard to believe but true) and I'm much more prepared for the worst outcomes in dating

 

I used to be incredibly naive. I remember 2 years ago, I went on a date with a guy who was clearly an arrogrant prick. He got super drunk on the first date and asked me to be his girlfriend. I had very little dating experience and would believe anything a guy told me so I just thought his drunken display was super romatic and I fell for him hook line and sinker. I cringe when I look back at the mistakes I made

 

Although I do let my mind run wild and think up fairy tales, I'm much stronger, wiser and well prepared than I've ever been. The last 3 breakups I've had, I held my own and moved on no problem. When I get the feeling a new guy is a douche, I move on very quickly. I'm not longer attracted to guys that keep me guessing if they like me or if they'll call or text. I'm attracted to stability, a strong connection, a guy that thinks of me and tries to make me happy.

 

Maybe I'm just wired to dream about fairy tales and the white picket fence. I dont know how to shut that off. I've been screwed over so many times in the past 2 years, if I'm not done dreaming of my wedding day...I dont know that I ever will be

 

I'm kind of thinking I should just embrace the way I date and the way I think. I'm tired of being scrupulous and obsessing if things will work out or not. Its almost impossible for me to pump the brakes and I'm tired of forcing myself to do that. As long as I continue to be strong no matter the outcome. Maybe I should just have fun???

 

I used to be the exact same way lol. One time I barely knew the guy, but got burned really bad emotionally (I didn't sleep w/him though). Jerks are completely not tolerated by me.

 

I broke up w/a controlling guy and went back to online dating. I started talking to one guy who was enthusiastic about seeing me for a date. He cancelled last minute before the date and I let that go only because he said that work was hectic, I gave him another chance.

 

He cut our date short because he had an outing w/his friend, I thought that was very rude. Not only that he texted me the next day about how crappy his outing was. I called him out on it and he was none too happy, said I wasn't his type and he just wanted to meet cool new friends. I told him douches weren't my type either. I don't tolerate any of this behavior at all and due to all the jerks, flakes and generally dishonest guys, I started multi dating.

[Dis]

I'm really picky....very picky and I'm not seeing many guys I'd consider on OLD at the moment

 

I'm talking to one other guy right now and he seems great

 

But I'm still thinking about the other one thats probably not right for me. I must be the most sexually frustrated woman in the world because if this guy wasnt so f***ing sexy, theres no way I would be considering going out with him

 

I havent made a decision yet

 

I feel so stuck

[No_Go]

I'm really picky....very picky and I'm not seeing many guys I'd consider on OLD at the moment

 

I'm talking to one other guy right now and he seems great

 

But I'm still thinking about the other one thats probably not right for me. I must be the most sexually frustrated woman in the world because if this guy wasnt so f***ing sexy, theres no way I would be considering going out with him

 

I havent made a decision yet

 

I feel so stuck

 

I guess you're not winning here Or we're in a close competition

 

Jokes aside, don't let this cloud your judgement. Time out of bed is longer than time in bed so to speak.

[Dis]

Oh answer is clear then: cancel on him, since it is before you met, it will be easier for both that way.

 

I know but I'm thinking like a guy that only wants sex

 

Sex with this guy would be amazinggggg

 

Anything else? Not so much

[Dis]

I guess you're not winning here Or we're in a close competition

 

Jokes aside, don't let this cloud your judgement. Time out of bed is longer than time in bed so to speak.

 

Hahaha!

 

You're right

 

I refuse to ignore my gut yet again. I have so many threads here where I knew the guy wasnt right for me yet I still went through with dating him. Of course it didnt end well

 

I'm not going to do that to myself again

 

I will tell him the date is off... I just hate rejecting guys. Hate it!

 

He texted me last night, I didnt respond. When he texts me again, I'll let him know

[No_Go]

Yeah - my experience is if it is bad before meeting it gets worse after meeting. If it is good before, it can get better after, but if you're not feeling it to start with - it is a huge time and emotion sink.

[Dis]

Yeah - my experience is if it is bad before meeting it gets worse after meeting. If it is good before, it can get better after, but if you're not feeling it to start with - it is a huge time and emotion sink.

 

Oh I totally agree and have at least 2 other threads that support this theory

 

My gut tells me, no. I takes time and practice to listen to our intuition. I can safely say I've had plenty of both.

 

The date is off

 

Onto the next!

[Seriousperson]

Oh I totally agree and have at least 2 other threads that support this theory

 

My gut tells me, no. I takes time and practice to listen to our intuition. I can safely say I've had plenty of both.

 

The date is off

 

Onto the next!

 

Good for you, no need to waste time on guys who aren't into you. I had doubts about a guy I went on a 1st date w/ after him only texting me every couple of days. Since I worked the days he was free, I even switched a shift w/my co worker only to have him reject me. I am glad he was straight forward, but I would have appreciated him telling me before I went through all these hoops to hang out w/him. I ALWAYS listen to my gut now and refuse to be lead on by anyone.

[Dis]

Good for you, no need to waste time on guys who aren't into you. I had doubts about a guy I went on a 1st date w/ after him only texting me every couple of days. Since I worked the days he was free, I even switched a shift w/my co worker only to have him reject me. I am glad he was straight forward, but I would have appreciated him telling me before I went through all these hoops to hang out w/him. I ALWAYS listen to my gut now and refuse to be lead on by anyone.

 

I like your posts Seriousperson

 

Thanks for all the support

 

I really cant fail to listen to my gut again so I know what I need to do

 

I dont think he's leading me on at all. I think he genuinely likes what he sees and hears from me. Its just we're super incompatible.

[Dis]

TMI right here,

 

My fairy tale about this guy has offically turned into porn lmao

 

I know I'm going to call off the date but I'm about ready to call him up and get a hotel room instead

 

When did I turn into a guy?

 

My sex drive is insane

[No_Go]

Resist the temptation! A long shower may help After my recent misfortune on that front my dreams are getting wild but mind stays strong.

 

Don't meet him - it will turn messy. Very messy. You know how it goes...

 

TMI right here,

 

My fairy tale about this guy has offically turned into porn lmao

 

I know I'm going to call off the date but I'm about ready to call him up and get a hotel room instead

 

When did I turn into a guy?

 

My sex drive is insane

[Cookiesandough]

TMI right here,

 

My fairy tale about this guy has offically turned into porn lmao

 

I know I'm going to call off the date but I'm about ready to call him up and get a hotel room instead

 

When did I turn into a guy?

 

My sex drive is insane

 

 

hahahaha he must be fiiine

[preraph]

I used to be like that myself and might still be if I still dated but I'm old now. I discovered that multi dating was easier on me emotionally and help with some of the anxiety of being too invested in someone. I discovered this after I forced myself to be social after ordering a big heart break. It was a good distraction and it boosted my confidence which had been torn down of course. But if you're going to multi date you need to let people know so you don't break someone else's heart and have that on your conscience. You don't have to make a big deal about it you certainly don't want to give them any details but it needs to be conveyed at some point that you are casually dating.

[Eternal Sunshine]

I have re-started multidating and already feel tired of it. 2 dates today.

 

First guy was 35 and a lot less attractive than his pictures. We went to have lunch and I already knew I won't see him again. He was actually funny and good company but I didn't feel any physical attraction. I told him "see you around sometime", just to make sure he knows there won't be another date.

 

Second guy was 43 and more attractive but still not really my type. Conversation-wise, he was a bit of an over-sharer but we have few things in common. I am on the fence about him. He doesn't have kids but was married before. He is a teacher for special needs children which makes me think he is possibly a nice person? I dunno...I got a text from him when I got home to tell me that he had a great time and if I want to have dinner on Friday night. I agreed - no harm in giving it some more time.

 

I am meeting a third guy (39) on Wednesday - this one seems most promising. We chatted for days and he looks really attractive from the pictures. We will see I guess.

 

If I meet someone that I REALLY like, I know that I would cancel all the other dates in seconds.

[Dis]

I have a date with a new guy on Tuesday!

 

He lives super close by. We both live by the same lake. Such a small world. This guy made plans right away. Really like how he took the bull by the horns and looked down a time, place and date right away. He asks about me, is complimentary, has a stable job and his own house. He only has one picture on his profile but its recent and he's really cute. Tall. Dimples

 

I'm excited!

 

Confession time! When the rapper guy texted me I couldnt bring myself to cancel! I just wanted to go out, flirt, look at him and maybe makeout But the universe has a funny way of protecting us when we need it. He texted me today saying he couldnt make it tonight and offered some other days when he'd be free. That little push was all I needed to delete his number and put him in the spam folder. I'm relieved things unfolded the way they did because I knew I was making a mistake by going out with him.

 

Another guy messaged me. He's an orbiter. We went out 2 years ago. He was a total douche. He's actually the guy I mentioned previously in this thread (the drunk guy). After the first date I told him I wouldnt date him again. We ended up going out quite a few times since and just had fun. Theres always been a lot of chemistry and sexual tension between us but I know better now than to give him a chance. He's just fun to hang out with. And I really like teasing him

 

So excited about Tuesday!!!

[No_Go]

The one picture straight to date guy sounds a bit suspicious to me.

Maybe screen him a bit before meeting.

My ex was just like this and actually very pushy (nudged me when I stop responding) - turned that he's very socially awkward and these were learned techniques.

I could be wrong of course - look forward to Tuesday update !

[Dis]

The one picture straight to date guy sounds a bit suspicious to me.

Maybe screen him a bit before meeting.

My ex was just like this and actually very pushy (nudged me when I stop responding) - turned that he's very socially awkward and these were learned techniques.

I could be wrong of course - look forward to Tuesday update !

 

He doesnt seem socially awkward at all. Although I never spoken to him IRL, he seems fun and well spoken over text

 

He wasnt being pushy about the date at all. He asked me if that time, date, and place would work for me. I really liked the masculinity he showed by locking down the date quickly. I HATE it when guys are wishy washy and cant make definitive plans

 

I did the usual screening. He has a great job, his own house...all the things I mentioned

[Cookiesandough]

Have a wonderful time!!~~

[Dis]

The one picture straight to date guy sounds a bit suspicious to me.

 

Is there something I should be on the look out for?

 

I'm not sure why my description of him seems suspicious

[Dis]

Oh! I just noticed he has 2 other pics, not just one

 

He looks like Edward Norton from American History X

 

Except he doesnt seem like a skin head at all