Am I Asking For Trouble?

[Lovelorn00]

I can't trust my reactions anymore, so here I am.

 

I've never really been one to ask guys for pics, but every now and then, I miss my guy's face (he lives in another state). He used to send them every now and then, without my asking. However, it's been a few weeks since he's sent one.

 

So yesterday, I asked for one, in a playful, flirty way. He said that he would. I told him that I was really excited about seeing it. We continued to text back and forth throughout the day, but I notice that he's also posting quite a bit to social media pages.

 

Well, I didn't get the pic yesterday. He did, however, post a pic to one of his social media pages.

 

Yeah, it stung quite a bit, and I made a comment about it. However, my reactions tend to lean more towards the irrational side, so I have no idea if this is a really bad sign or if I'm being irrational.

 

Help?

[Gaeta]

I would not like it either. If the relationship is overall happy and fullfilling then drop it this time. No one is perfect and we all are forgetfull once in a while.

[Lovelorn00]

I would not like it either. If the relationship is overall happy and fullfilling then drop it this time. No one is perfect and we all are forgetfull once in a while.

 

It is... kinda. I mean, as much as a long-distance relationship can be. I guess I'm just bothered by the fact that I've since made a comment about it (I responded privately to his social media post), and he has yet to respond. My irrational brain is telling me that it was a deliberate act. Like he was saying, "I think it's more important for my social media fans to see this pic than to send it privately to you." I dunno. The more I write about it, the more irrational I sound.

[kendahke]

It is... kinda. I mean, as much as a long-distance relationship can be. I guess I'm just bothered by the fact that I've since made a comment about it (I responded privately to his social media post), and he has yet to respond. My irrational brain is telling me that it was a deliberate act. Like he was saying, "I think it's more important for my social media fans to see this pic than to send it privately to you." I dunno. The more I write about it, the more irrational I sound.

 

That would hurt my feelings. It feels like social media has priority.

 

But I'd have to figure out if this is the hill to die on, relationship-wise. Is your relationship such that you can say something to him about how him doing that made you feel in light of what you asked him? I mean, it's not like you didn't say anything to him. If he's good in other areas and this is a one-off, I'd take a wait and see approach with him and just observe his behavior for a while.

[Robratory]

I can't trust my reactions anymore, so here I am.

 

I've never really been one to ask guys for pics, but every now and then, I miss my guy's face (he lives in another state). He used to send them every now and then, without my asking. However, it's been a few weeks since he's sent one.

 

So yesterday, I asked for one, in a playful, flirty way. He said that he would. I told him that I was really excited about seeing it. We continued to text back and forth throughout the day, but I notice that he's also posting quite a bit to social media pages.

 

Well, I didn't get the pic yesterday. He did, however, post a pic to one of his social media pages.

 

Yeah, it stung quite a bit, and I made a comment about it. However, my reactions tend to lean more towards the irrational side, so I have no idea if this is a really bad sign or if I'm being irrational.

 

Help?

 

It's not irrational. I mean, suppose you said, "Pass the salt, please," while you were having dinner, and he ignored you. Would it be irrational to say, "Hey, wake the hell up. I said, pass the goddamn salt?" No, of course not.

 

The real problem seems to be that you don't know where you stand with him, and you don't have good communication. You made "a comment" about it? What does that mean? What did he say?

 

And he lives in another state? What's the plan?

[Robratory]

It is... kinda. I mean, as much as a long-distance relationship can be. I guess I'm just bothered by the fact that I've since made a comment about it (I responded privately to his social media post), and he has yet to respond. My irrational brain is telling me that it was a deliberate act. Like he was saying, "I think it's more important for my social media fans to see this pic than to send it privately to you." I dunno. The more I write about it, the more irrational I sound.

 

Well, you can't go back and forth in your head. You have to go back and forth with him.

[Lovelorn00]

It's not irrational. I mean, suppose you said, "Pass the salt, please," while you were having dinner, and he ignored you. Would it be irrational to say, "Hey, wake the hell up. I said, pass the goddamn salt?" No, of course not.

 

The real problem seems to be that you don't know where you stand with him, and you don't have good communication. You made "a comment" about it? What does that mean? What did he say?

 

And he lives in another state? What's the plan?

 

Yes, I basically said, "I guess this is as good of a pic as I'm gonna get :(" or something along those lines. He didn't respond.

 

He lives in another state until February, and then he moves back to the town where I live. And you're right - I have no idea where I stand with him. I don't even know if he considers me a girlfriend or if we are exclusive. 5 months of this. It's torture.

[Gaeta]

Yes, I basically said, "I guess this is as good of a pic as I'm gonna get :(" or something along those lines. He didn't respond.

 

He lives in another state until February, and then he moves back to the town where I live. And you're right - I have no idea where I stand with him. I don't even know if he considers me a girlfriend or if we are exclusive. 5 months of this. It's torture.

 

I know how to end the torture. Dump him.

 

Why would a young woman waste 5 months waiting on a man she is not exclusive with? and a man that ignores her?

[LovelyRose]

It is torture for you because you don't have any courage to tell your guy what you really feel. Not only you don't express yourself but you hide it very well. I am not at all defending your guy. But I just want to make sure you're receiving a fair comment, opinion, advice and what have you.

 

The guy in general seems to be ok. Maybe some of the things that bothered you are reasonable but not deal breakers. Nobody is perfect. It's also heightened because again, you don't know where you stand with him so of course you are extra sensitive.

 

He is not a mind reader Lovelorn. Until you get the courage to talk to him about where you really stand, how you are not totally happy and very uncomfortable with uncertainties, it will drive you insane. If you really can't get the courage to communicate with him, then yeah one easy way out is to take Gaeta's advice... Dump him and end your misery. But I feel that it's unfair to both of you.

 

My bf and I used to send pics all the time until he also stopped. But I do ask him to send me one here and there. Most of the time he sends one right away but there are times where he messes with me and sends me a sticker or GIF instead. It annoys me but I shrug it off. Let this one go for now and give him the benefit of the doubt. And one thing I have learn from my experience, sarcasm NEVER works. So your private comment about his post will take you nowhere. Just try to calm down and wait until you two are talking on the phone then ask him nicely why he ignored your request. Besides how many times did you ask him to send you one? If you two were exchanging lots of texts while he was posting stuff on social media, I can almost guarantee you that he may have just forgotten it.

 

Regarding his social media activity, didn't you mention that he is sort of a public figure. Correct me if I'm wrong but I am almost certain that's what it is. I know it's tough but you will have to open your mind on this. Social media is part of his career. You even said he has fans. Yeah mostly women but that should tell you it's part of his job. So that could also explain why he forgot to send you one. Because he's already busy doing other stuff. Posting on social media is part of his job.

 

My last ex is somewhat in the entertainment industry and omg, social media is his life. I did not like it but I dealt with it. You need to understand your guy more. Understand his social media activity before you freak out.

 

Until you discuss things with him, You will continue to suffer and start doubting yourself more. For all we know in his mind you two are doing perfectly fine.

 

I don't like that your guy is starting to be judged. Because that's` not really going to help you. But this is all you. He cannot fix something if he doesn't even know there's something to be fixed. If he offended you, hurt you, upset you.. DO TELL HIM.