How do you find living alone ?

[shellybing]

I really live alone right now, but I always have a game plan to change that fact. I have my own house, SUV, work and everything should be okay right. We all need someone else to love and be with. Once you achieve that make things better? Might not! I know a lot of women who rather not have any man in there dwelling 24/7. Peace of mind. I think differently on that subject. Most of these women had bad abuse relationships of the past and rather be on their own. No one can tell them what to do ever again. Yeah where is all the bonding, love an etc. Be can all bond with a pet, but when it comes to your partner can you bond with them. Click or not got to be reason why you feel your best when your living alone. I use to it just take each day as it comes.

 

I can tell you when I have a woman slept over or lives with me, I feel a lot different. Just to know there in the house is more reason to get home faster, than slower!

 

Nobody should tell us what to do. . .

 

There is compromise in every relationship.

 

I keep my own place, and refuse to move in with someone until things are well established. I dont see any harm in that. (yes, in abusive relationships before)

[BC1980]

You all are nuts. Living alone is great, assuming you keep a healthy social life that prevents you from sitting in your apartment every night with a bowl of Frosted Flakes.

 

I'm convinced more relationships would last if the people didn't live together.

 

I think you might be right. My last ex told me that he would have married me if we hadn't lived together. My mom and dad have been married for 30 something years, but my dad has always had a job where he was out of town about 2 weeks of the month. I've lived alone for the past 4 years, and there is good and bad to it. I don't know if I would ever want to live with a man again though. I do want a relationship though. But I honestly don't know if marriage is for me. At this point, I don't plan to have kids, so I wonder what the point of getting married would be.

[Chilli]

l did find it very hard when l was married. must admit l often thought part time married would be better.

 

later with gf , being LD , the visa allows 3mth stays a time in each country.

And we even considered just keeping it like that , 3mth here , then a break, then 3mth there , break , 3mth here again , it could poss' be a pretty cool life really .

She's here 3mths , me there 3mths, keep our own places and share and country hop , forever.

How cool would that be.

Edited September 1, 2017 by Chilli

[TheFinalWord]

How do you do it , what do you think of it . Seems such a bizarre existence to me now days now.

wake up alone , come home alone , do work on the house and no one to show it to , making a meal , you name it , it's all very weird.

l've always needed my space and even that caused problems when l was married because l probably needed more alone time than a married person should , but holy hell , not this much.

 

That's what all of my grandmother's said after their husbands died and they were too old to do much physically. It's kind of depressing to be honest haha

 

I think it's whatever you get used to, personally.

 

I live alone, but have pets. But there is so much to do, I don't ever get bored. I guess that is the key, unless you are extroverted and need other people around to re-charge. Even if I were married, I think it would be easier to have separate rooms. My parents do and have been married for decades.

[Cookiesandough]

Lonely and weird at first. Slept with all the lights on. Now it would be hard to have it any other way. Privacy

[Blanco]

I think you might be right. My last ex told me that he would have married me if we hadn't lived together. My mom and dad have been married for 30 something years, but my dad has always had a job where he was out of town about 2 weeks of the month. I've lived alone for the past 4 years, and there is good and bad to it. I don't know if I would ever want to live with a man again though. I do want a relationship though. But I honestly don't know if marriage is for me. At this point, I don't plan to have kids, so I wonder what the point of getting married would be.

 

I just think that time apart is healthy and ideal for most couples, even if it's just a day here and there. Living together usually wipes out that buffer zone. And add children to the mix? Time apart then means one of the parents is probably getting stuck with the kids more than the other.

 

It's unfortunate that the standard familial unit sort of needs the stability of having everyone under one roof and, ideally, everyone together pretty much every day. I think most romantic relationships get a nice little boost of energy whenever there's a day or maybe a weekend where the two people are apart.

[Chilli]

With me it's nothing to do with boredom l've always got plenty of things going on , too much in fact , it's be nice to just have nothing for 6mths especially after this last few years.

And then l have the business and then renovations goin on as well.

Can't be bothered with pets at the moment and l go away quite a bit too so they're a pain in that way too organizing them so that you can.

 

l do love to party and was partying a lot after divorce just in spats or if it wasn't that my daughter and her friends were at our place but there's not much of that going on atm.

Friends coming and going 24 7 though, not my thing l get bored with that and when the funs over l like my space again.

Went to a party just last night but l wasn't in the mood, drank too much haha, only went though because they've invited me about 10 times in the last few mths and l keep avoiding them so l felt like l better make an appearance for once, hopefully they'll leave me alone for awhile now haha.

 

Some people remind me of puppy dogs yaknow, come and play come play, can't function unless they have they have someone to play with, drive me mad those sorts.

Edited September 2, 2017 by Chilli

[Chilli]

Yeah some time apart be nice as a couple especially if there's kids. God lovem but they and the mortgage and work and school and all the whole box of rocks is all very hard on a marriage.

 

It'd also save a lot of marriages if couples could just make a habit of sneaking off for some them time too more often, just the two of them.

It's so easy to lose yourselves in raising a family.

Edited September 2, 2017 by Chilli

[Popsicle]

Living alone is....hmmm.....comfortable.

 

More comfortable than living with someone, to be honest. Comfortable is the best word to describe it.

 

But it is quite lonely at times. Lonely and isolated.

 

So that is why it's so important to have friends and to be social in whatever ways you can. You have to get around people other than work folk and family.

[TheFinalWord]

With me it's nothing to do with boredom l've always got plenty of things going on , too much in fact , it's be nice to just have nothing for 6mths especially after this last few years.

And then l have the business and then renovations goin on as well.

Can't be bothered with pets at the moment and l go away quite a bit too so they're a pain in that way too organizing them so that you can.

 

l do love to party and was partying a lot after divorce just in spats or if it wasn't that my daughter and her friends were at our place but there's not much of that going on atm.

Friends coming and going 24 7 though, not my thing l get bored with that and when the funs over l like my space again.

Went to a party just last night but l wasn't in the mood, drank too much haha, only went though because they've invited me about 10 times in the last few mths and l keep avoiding them so l felt like l better make an appearance for once, hopefully they'll leave me alone for awhile now haha.

 

Some people remind me of puppy dogs yaknow, come and play come play, can't function unless they have they have someone to play with, drive me mad those sorts.

 

Yeah, it sounds like you are the sort that just likes to have a wife and kids in the house (a family man). Hope you find peace soon.

[Chilli]

Funny , nope actually , dunno how you'd even think that if you see a lot of what l've talked about, or knew the way l've lived, or was that in other threads, don't know.

But unfortunately nope,l wasn't a very good family man at all tbh or l'd still be married, and they don't usually party like l do either or need the space that l do which was downright unnatural for a supposed family man,.

Nope ,l wasn't too good at any of that at all.

tried to be a good dad though and still am and love my kids of course.

But nope, l wasn't very good at being married and our life was nothing even remotely like any typical family. not even close.

 

Part time would've been an ideal set up though.

And what might suit me now though is some part time gf thing, that'd be ideal

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Yeah some time apart be nice as a couple especially if there's kids. God lovem but they and the mortgage and work and school and all the whole box of rocks is all very hard on a marriage.

 

It'd also save a lot of marriages if couples could just make a habit of sneaking off for some them time too more often, just the two of them.

It's so easy to lose yourselves in raising a family.

 

All of that is super hard alone, too!

[Chilli]

l did try though , just wasn't exactly cut out for it all.

[Chilli]

All of that is super hard alone, too!

 

Yeah it is isn't it , this l'm finding out right now myself too.

l must admit , in these things it was always nice as a couple and being able to share the load and fun in it, wasn't it.

[Chilli]

l do admire the simplicity in the typical family though ,although l don't envy most of them.

But it's def' a selfless art form all it's own that's for sure.

 

Unfortunately l've always been far far more complicated than those guys but l take my hat of to them and respect the hell outa what they do.

[whatnot]

I'm 59 and really never had problems meeting women....even since high school.

 

I've had 3 LTR's of over a decade each. One of them was a marriage. But the marriage only lasted 4 years. (well...I married her again....that one lasted 3 months lol)

 

Anyway...so....i've lived most of my life alone. i'm someone who doesn't mind taking care of myself. I kind of like the ...... what's the word.....freedom?....I'm not sure that's it.....I just feel more like myself when doing things by myself. It's not that I don't like company.....sometimes....i do. i enjoy other peoples' company. But...24/7....365...that was just never meant to be for me. No one could have lived with me for that long. I would have driven them crazy....I just need alot of "me" time lol

Edited September 3, 2017 by whatnot

[Chilli]

Although , l think l'd be fine these days with the right combo, if all the feelings and goodies are there too, right women.

 

Finally feeling a lot less wrestless than l ever use to be, it's taken long enough though !!!!!!

l probably should've tried getting married now rather than back in early 30, all though plenty late enough for most , l was just getting warmed up around then. It was bit of a square peg round hole thing.

[Popsicle]

I see my future playing out like Jackie Kennedy Onassis's did. The last couple of decades of her life she had a companion, Maurice Tempelsman. They did not live together, nor did they marry, they had and kept their separate lives, but they were friends and spent time together. You could tell how close they were. I'm not sure how romantic they were, but they definitely liked being around each other and doing things together. It seemed like genuine friendship and a commitment of sorts as they weren't seeing other people, just each other. But again, they had their separate and established lives already, it was just easier to hang out with each other when they wanted to, rather than try to blend all that. They seemed close and at peace with their relationship and I hope to find that one day. I don't suppose I'll find a man who's ready for that yet until we are in our 60's+, like Jackie and Maurice. So, I'll just live my life and wait until then.

[Chilli]

lt doesn't sound like they were romantic pop.

 

But yeah , really l'm surprised we don't see that more often in every day life really.

ln just about any neighborhood there's a few older people living alone.

[Popsicle]

lt doesn't sound like they were romantic pop.

 

Gosh, they had to be, right???

How could you be so close to someone and not at least want to physically touch in some way? Even if it's just embracing or a kissing?

 

But yeah , really l'm surprised we don't see that more often in every day life really.

ln just about any neighborhood there's a few older people living alone.

 

I agree.

 

I have seen some women become non-romantic companions (which I would take, as well) and I've seen siblings do it too, but yeah, too many old people are alone. I can't help but wonder if they want it that way though...

[Chilli]

Ah ,l reckon they probably cuddled and stuff, probably tried sleeping together at some stage too early in , l'd put money on.

But it wouldn't have felt right or worked and so they probably ended up with some cuddly friend thing l'm thinking.

 

Could you do it .

Oh man , l dunno. l met someone earlier aftre my divorce that we got a long really well with but l had no romantic interest.

l use to stay over hers , her over mine, separate rooms ,

We'd talk a lot and help each other out. She'd just gone through divorce too.

But l dunno , it began to feel really weird after a few mths , like we both should be moving on and finding a real relationship. Lime hanging out with each other was holding us back.

One night when we were drunk she tried all night to get me in the sack but l just wasn't interested in that way and after that things went weird and we lost touch.

Edited September 3, 2017 by Chilli

[Popsicle]

Ah ,l reckon they probably cuddled and stuff, probably tried sleeping together at some stage too early in , l'd put money on.

But it wouldn't have felt right or worked and so they probably ended up with some cuddly friend thing l'm thinking.

 

Could you do it .

Oh man , l dunno. l met someone earlier aftre my divorce that we got a long really well with but l had no romantic interest.

l use to stay over hers , her over mine, separate rooms ,

We'd talk a lot and help each other out. She'd just gone through divorce too.

But l dunno , it began to feel really weird after a few mths , like we both should be moving on and finding a real relationship. Lime hanging out with each other was holding us back.

One night when we were drunk she tried all night to get me in the sack but l just wasn't interested in that way and after that things went weird and we lost touch.

 

Well I think Jackie and her friend were beyond wanting to find a "real relationship". That ship had sailed. So there probably wasn't the feeling that they were holding each other back.

[Chilli]

Yeah , past caring anymore so maybe they had their friendship or whatever it was and to hell with the rest eh.

[Chilli]

l know one reason l have a bit of trouble living alone is as l've said, the house l bought is a bit big for one person.

l'm pretty sure l'd be feeling a lot better about it if the house was a bit smaller . Great for a few people, to me though too big for one.

 

But the funny thing , l guess that's just about you personally and the setup you feel comfortable in.

Because l'm watching this movie, and she was a lawyer , early 40s l'd say.

But her house , man she's living alone in this monster , l mean this thing would be 5 times the size of my house, at least.

But , l guess whether real life or a movie , no matter , it's all out there happening and she must've just been comfortable in this monster, even on her own.

Where as her bf , he was a cop , movies l know, but he just had the gorgeous little log cabin , man what a beautiful little cabin this was.

Out in some Forrest. That would've been about 1/2 the size of my house here and way more my style if living alone.

[Chilli]

Being single.

 

lt just goes to show , a celebrity l was watching an interview on.

This must be sounding like l watch too much tv but nope l hardly watch any actually, just coincidence .

But anyway , she's a beautiful women, l won't say who, works in show business and around hundreds of people day in day out .

late 30s, tall , very pretty, in really good shape, long blonde hair, and she was amazingly humble and down to earth, you would think she'd had been snapped up years ago and she'd certainly be around 50times more people than most of us so the opportunity is there day in day out by the hundreds.

 

Yet she broke down in the interview when they asked her about love and all she wants in life is to meet her man and have a family.

said she's dated a lot for years and meets 100s of people in her work , but it just hasn't happened.

And now she;s in such a state about it that she's joining some professional service to try and find a a hubby.

 

So there ya go , you'd just assume she was married of and this is her day job , you couldn't imagine her being single actually , but , she is and has been mostly right through.

And it just goes to show , everybody talks about getting out there amongst it and around people but you couldn't get much more out and among it than her and she has the looks most would die for and seemed like a real sweetheart ,yet , nothing.

 

life can be strange !

Edited September 5, 2017 by Chilli