I like them both, I want them both.

[heavenonearth]

You honestly sound like a 17 year old school girl with all of the my friend say stuff....

 

I wish you the best of luck, it's your train to crash.

 

 

Well thank you, that's very kind of you to say....

I am just trying to put things in perspective.

I happen to tend to think highly of my friends' opinions.

Most of them know me well enough to give solid advice.

 

Your last comment was a bit unnecessary.

[heavenonearth]

Many people here who have been in ltr's know that the beginning of any relationship is the honeymoon phase. That's the advice they're trying to give you. The stuff you find cute could one day be annoying. And the fact that while he protested, he still followed you while you were sleeping with another guy does say something about him. Another guy would be like, "Call me when you're done with other guys. I'm not going to play Elimidate." That takes a lot of strength and confidence in himself for a man to be able do that. While I don't agree with "dating guru" Corey Wayne on everything, that is one of the things I very much agree with him on.

 

Hope it goes well for you.

 

I realize this too.

This is obviously not my first attempt at a relationship. It is also not the first time I feel the honeymoon phase intensely (although it's never been this mutual before).

And i never mentioned to him that i was sleeping with someone else. He knew I went on a few dates, that's about it.

[healing light]

Now that you've decided to be with number two, just be sure to pace the relationship. Don't keep looking over your shoulder thinking you're the rebound because regardless of whether that ends up being true, that lingering insecurity might eat away at what you have if it isn't. It's too soon to be predicting the future with him.

 

Just focus on his actions and behaviors and evaluate if it works for you. Pay attention to what version of yourself he brings out. Resist the temptation to see him every day and make sure you have other hobbies and activities that you do outside of him on a regular basis in order to maintain your core identity. That will be best for everybody. Until then, enjoy this for what it is--this will lay a solid foundation for the relationship to go forward if he truly is emotionally available.

[heavenonearth]

Now that you've decided to be with number two, just be sure to pace the relationship. Don't keep looking over your shoulder thinking you're the rebound because regardless of whether that ends up being true, that lingering insecurity might eat away at what you have if it isn't. It's too soon to be predicting the future with him.

 

Just focus on his actions and behaviors and evaluate if it works for you. Pay attention to what version of yourself he brings out. Resist the temptation to see him every day and make sure you have other hobbies and activities that you do outside of him on a regular basis in order to maintain your core identity. That will be best for everybody. Until then, enjoy this for what it is--this will lay a solid foundation for the relationship to go forward if he truly is emotionally available.

 

 

Thank you, yes, the pace is really important, and we talked about it extensively. Good thing is that we live in different cities (55km apart), so seeing each other involves planning and some sort of effort on both of our parts. Good thing I am quite busy right now as well. I just hope it'll work out over time.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Good luck OP. Everything is a risk but I personally think that every relationship should start with this much passion and intensity...otherwise people are settling.

 

 

Enjoy!

[fred123]

Many people here who have been in ltr's know that the beginning of any relationship is the honeymoon phase. That's the advice they're trying to give you. The stuff you find cute could one day be annoying. And the fact that while he protested, he still followed you while you were sleeping with another guy does say something about him. Another guy would be like, "Call me when you're done with other guys. I'm not going to play Elimidate." That takes a lot of strength and confidence in himself for a man to be able do that. While I don't agree with "dating guru" Corey Wayne on everything, that is one of the things I very much agree with him on.

 

Hope it goes well for you.

 

Corey wayne actually doesnt say this. He encourages the guy to still sleep with the girl and say stuff like " i can keep u busy when you arent with him" . He actually thinks you are a pussy if you do walk away from that just cos she is dating or sleeping with others.

[heavenonearth]

Good luck OP. Everything is a risk but I personally think that every relationship should start with this much passion and intensity...otherwise people are settling.

 

 

Enjoy!

 

Omg thank you. I actually thought I was the only one thinking this.

I have dated guys before where I didn't feel this way in the beginning and it was just such a waste of time to find out a few months later that I could never love this person.

[fred123]

Omg thank you. I actually thought I was the only one thinking this.

I have dated guys before where I didn't feel this way in the beginning and it was just such a waste of time to find out a few months later that I could never love this person.

 

my question to you heavnonearth is why did you date these guys and continue to stay with them for a few months when you knew deep down you never felt that way about them?

[heavenonearth]

my question to you heavnonearth is why did you date these guys and continue to stay with them for a few months when you knew deep down you never felt that way about them?

 

Because I thought that the feelings come later. And because I only knew the "falling head over heels" before, and thought that there are surely other ways to fall for someone.