Author krista28 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 It was just two dates but this whole thing felt a lot more and worse then that Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 14, 2017 Author Share Posted May 14, 2017 Maybe one day when he looks back he will have regret because.....i dont know if he ever came back id forgive him. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 15, 2017 Share Posted May 15, 2017 Ill never get revenge anyways... this guy will most likely end up alone but I wont. Well, what good would it really do to get revenge? Maybe it would make you feel better. I've read some of your other threads and you seem to get into this mindset of wanting revenge when things go sour or don't go your way or you feel you've been wronged. So, did you get revenge in any of those cases? And if so, did it help? It's been my experience that people reap what they sow. We don't have a whole lot of control over what's going to happen to someone else in the future. They live with their choices as we live with our choices. If he ends up alone, being alone is not always a bad thing. In fact some people need to probably be alone for a change and learn how to have a good relationship with their self. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 15, 2017 Author Share Posted May 15, 2017 Im not wanting revenge nor have I actually taken it out on anyone. All I am saying is guys like that deserve to be alone.... not people like me... if you knew me at all... Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 15, 2017 Author Share Posted May 15, 2017 My point is... that my revenge is knowing he missed out on me. My point is that when you do bad to people it returns to you.... its even happened to me. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 My point is... that my revenge is knowing he missed out on me. My point is that when you do bad to people it returns to you.... its even happened to me. Please don't take this the wrong way: You're still thinking in terms of some sort of revenge. Krista, it's my belief that the best type of revenge is to come to a place in your own heart and mind of not even thinking about ANY type of revenge; when you have completely released yourself of having any thoughts in that regard; when you no longer carry the burden of thinking there needs to be some sort of revenge against the other person; some type of redemption for yourself. Wanting ANY sort of revenge puts a burden on you that you may not even realize you are carrying around. So for the health of your own soul no revenge is the best revenge. But, oh, it is so contrary to human nature to just let go of all notions of revenge. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 I know it is. Unfortunately rejection is all around us and.... nobodys immune. Someones the people you least suspect turn on you. But you can go out find a better person... one who loves you best...or just love yourself. I know if anyone looks for external valudation theyll never be happy. best thing to do is... leave the old guy in the tracks... let him see you happy and moved on. That hurts em the most. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 I'm sorry, really I am. This guy was just looking for a hook up, got the hook up from you, and has moved onto someone else. People like that make it hard for us to go forth into the world with any kind of hope or positive feeling. However, it happens. And, remember this is a two way street. He did not force you to do something you didn't want to, you went into this with the hope that something other than what did would happen. Accept your role in it. I am sorry that this happened to you, you were clearly looking for something that this guy was not going to give you. That is no excuse for him to treat you as badly as he did, to be sure. But there's nothing you can do about it except move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 Well its been two weeks now and so... the initial burn is gone but its so true he wanted some sex... He has done this many times before I am told. But if it was he shouldnt have strung it out. The hardest part to take is that this person he is actually keeping things going with her. He hasnt been on his dating app in two weeks.... and thats what stings. He mayend up with her. It sucks all round. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 I know it is. Unfortunately rejection is all around us and.... nobodys immune. Someones the people you least suspect turn on you. But you can go out find a better person... one who loves you best...or just love yourself. I know if anyone looks for external valudation theyll never be happy. best thing to do is... leave the old guy in the tracks... let him see you happy and moved on. That hurts em the most. When a person has truly moved on they no longer think in terms of what may possibly hurt another person the most. It doesn't cross their mind. You will get there once there has been complete healing from whatever hurt you've sustained. Letting go is a process; healing is a process. You are so right, external validation just doesn't do it. Never has; never will. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 18, 2017 Share Posted May 18, 2017 Well its been two weeks now and so... the initial burn is gone but its so true he wanted some sex... He has done this many times before I am told. But if it was he shouldnt have strung it out. The hardest part to take is that this person he is actually keeping things going with her. He hasnt been on his dating app in two weeks.... and thats what stings. He mayend up with her. It sucks all round.Ok It's only been 2 weeks, hon. Okay: Here's something I want you to try and do: Stay away from looking at his dating app. Heck, I don't even know the first thing about a dating app, maybe I'm better off? A co-worker of mine was on some sort of dating site a while back and she was interacting with this guy and after some time she wanted my opinion if she should meet him in person. I was sort of dumbfounded. If it were ME, I'd say no way no how. How do you know he isn't some sort of psycho. What they present on an "app" or online may not be what they are in real life. So, I really didn't give her an answer. I didn't want to DISCOURAGE her if she really wanted to meet the guy, you know? But on the other hand, I didn't ENCOURAGE her either. I honestly didn't have an answer for her. But anyways, back to you: You need to go no contact and that includes don't look him up online or anything like that. No facebook encounters...it's only likely going to make you feel WORSE. No new contact equals no new hurts. Just live your life and pour yourself into something you love to do. If you feel like you are getting too depressed, seek out professional help. There is absolutely NO SHAME in that. You WILL heal. I firmly believe that!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 18, 2017 Author Share Posted May 18, 2017 No Ive gotten over the fact that I liked him...I just havent gotten over the fact of the harsh rejection. Ill meet a better man though I know... Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 20, 2017 Share Posted May 20, 2017 I think the 'harshness' you speak of could possibly be a type of lashing out. And people lash out for all sorts of reasons. Maybe it comes from a place of resentment. You indicated maybe he felt bad about something. Wounded creatures tend to lash out. You may never get any answers or reasons so you're probably going to have to find your own way to bury the hatchet. Anyways, it's not good to carry all the hurt and pain inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 20, 2017 Author Share Posted May 20, 2017 I know and I am moving on trying not to read into it too much.. Link to post Share on other sites
Timshel Posted May 21, 2017 Share Posted May 21, 2017 So recently I met a man on online dating. I know it can be risky he lives in a town one hour away. Hes 35 and I am 32. Any ways we had an awesome time if you ask me. He is very sexual. We stayed up all night talking and then the next time we hungout we slept together. We connected so well I must say it was amazing. I thought for both of us. I really felt a connection. He said so too and we continued talking . Then... about 3 days ago when I was at work I got a text from him saying your a great woman but I wanted to send you this text to say goodbye. I met a girl that lives 5 min from my house that also has kid and her and I are more sexually compatible. That hes on cloud 9 around her and thinks shes the one. Well I was shocked couldnt even do my work... floored hurt stunned. I actually was in shock. Then on the weekend I cried and... dealt with it but I still feel like pond scum. I feel aweful and I never ever saw this coming from him. Can anyone without being judgemental offer words of help? Will he be back when he realizes this woman isnt "the one". And why would he be so cruel and use words like that knowing it would hurt. To me it seemed super hasty to be ending things so quickly..when he really has no guaruntee of things working out with this person anyways I want to give you a different spin on this, which may or not be true, a different way to look at this scenario. It's possible that this other woman is his wife or SO. She is closer....you are a little farther away and prime for something on the side. It's possible Krista that this other woman is the one who was betrayed and you are the intruder. I understand that you believe that you have been tossed over for someone else and that would hurt. No matter the truth, he is not the one for you and that is ok. It happens. It doesn't make the other woman a jerk or that he must be some abysmal clod. I hope that you will only accept that he wasn't what is best for you and let it go without bitterness. A better love is around the corner but you won't see it full of spite and looking the wrong way. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 23, 2017 Author Share Posted May 23, 2017 Timshell this actually could be true. He couldve been seeing her already and this is more likely. I have moved on and I know theres some love out there. Ive been dating other guys.... so I am ok. I dont think this woman is a jerk but I sure think hes a mean guy. But he can live his life how he wants I see now hes not for me.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 27, 2017 Author Share Posted May 27, 2017 For all who care I am happy to report that he has now been. Back on the dating app as I predicted. I am no longer expectin to hear from him but I have a date with someone new tonight... nice feeling. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 27, 2017 Share Posted May 27, 2017 Your instincts were right on, girl. Now, how was the date? Did you enjoy it? I hope so. As you move on with your life, you won't even be tempted to check his dating app. What the heck is a dating app anyways? Should people even have to use those? I mean, really? What happened to just good old fashioned face to face encounters? All this social media stuff...I'm just not sure it's all that helpful. JMO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 28, 2017 Author Share Posted May 28, 2017 Mountain girl yes... this is true but it seems to be the wave of the future Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 29, 2017 Share Posted May 29, 2017 Never tried online dating...very leery of it...don't know anything about it...and I don't want to...that's one wave I'll pass on. There are many other "waves" still out there that are very worthwhile. Don't get me wrong. I use computers and stuff...heck here I am on this forum...if that ain't computer using I don't know what is. A good friend of mine met his current girlfriend online and they're still together 18 months later and it seems to have worked out pretty well for them so far. But I don't know...never had a lack of interest, I guess, so I don't know what it would be like to be geared toward using a dating app. I don't know, maybe I'm just old fashioned. I'm just not into apps. How did your date go? I hope you had a good time!! Hang in there. It will get better and better and better. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted June 16, 2017 Author Share Posted June 16, 2017 Long time no talk... yea we had a few dates things seemed to be going okay.... however......well.... him and I didn't workout he wasn't showing much interest and I had the guts to end things cuz it wasn't what I wanted or how I wanted to be treated. Holding on single for now I guess Link to post Share on other sites
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