Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 So so true u all.. love the supply chain comment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 And... just so everyone knows Karma is so for real. I had this friend in my early 20s she was horrible out for herself ... she did the most sidewinding things... She is now a single mother of two living at home her husband cheated on her. I am not saying I didnt wish bad on her but certainly not that bad... Karma served that dish way colder than I ever thought so you should watch how you treat people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Alright devils advocate. What I dont get is that I think he is really taken with this girl....he has not been on his dating profile since.... That's what makes it the hardest. Not the broken up part. Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 You only had two dates. Dating is about assessing compatibility. You've learned that you and this guy are not compatible. He made a clean break it seems, so he hasn't done anything wrong. Next! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 You sound like him...he said " i didnt do anything wrong" ....how lovely.. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 You only had two dates. Dating is about assessing compatibility. You've learned that you and this guy are not compatible. He made a clean break it seems, so he hasn't done anything wrong. Next! I have to agree with the above. It was only 2 dates and he was probably dating around and may have dated her at the same time he was seeing you. His feelings for her may have ran deep and then he found out she really liked him too so he chose her. This is what dating is all about. You had sex with him because you wanted it too and you enjoyed it. There is nothing to feel guilty or be ashamed of. It just happens. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 You sound like him...he said " i didnt do anything wrong" ....how lovely.. Yes, this guy could have used far more tact in breaking things off with you--he didn't need to take you off into the weeds with him; but he's not wrong in the sense that he didn't drag this out, he didn't lead you on for weeks/months before dropping this bomb in your lap. Plenty of women are led on for quite a while before discovering what is truly going on. I know I have. He didn't do that to you. It's understandable that you're mad and hurt because he could have let you down with better tact and not negged you. At the end of the day, this wasn't meant to be; and it's better that he brought it to you, clumsy as it was, and told you up front now instead of dragging this out, ghosting then blocking you, which he could have done. Don't close yourself off or punish future guys. They aren't this guy and shouldn't be punished as if they are. You now know better how to see this character type forthcoming and can stop him at the gate and not let him through, no matter what body he's inhabiting. You won't be fooled again by this character type. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Thanks Kandhake... You are right though the delivery of the message was aweful if I didnt know better I would almost think he was trying to hurt me or get back at me for something. Otherwise no reason to be so cruel. He met someone he liked more..I guess. In reality he did lead me on though he told me he was interested and kept me on the hook, even if his actions spoke otherwise. Yes on paper he did nothing wrong but my heart is hurt my hopes are dashed and I was hurt. I even had to leave work a bit early as I couldnt concentrate ( you know this feeling ). and so maybe on some small level I do hope he will be back and realize his mistake, I dont think this guy would do this with anyone. He told me to stop texting him, and said wtf...wow. So..chances of him returning are small. I did go off on him basically saying what kind of scum bag are you...but in the end I have been had. My worst fear is that he is in love with this girl...or totally happy and taken with her...in that type of world..there would be no justice. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 He met someone he liked more..I guess. Location location location--it is a thing... he met someone who was closer in proximity... doesn't necessarily mean he likes her more--it's that she's closer and more convenient than you are and he doesn't have to bust as much of a sweat. In reality he did lead me on though he told me he was interested and kept me on the hook, even if his actions spoke otherwise. Yes on paper he did nothing wrong but my heart is hurt my hopes are dashed and I was hurt. Ok, let's look at this with a clear head: he did none of the above without you giving yourself permission to indulge and you indulged because you'd been single for a while and wanted to change that. If you had stepped back at any time and remained skeptical until the evidence bore out, none of this would have gone down to the extent that it did. I even had to leave work a bit early as I couldnt concentrate ( you know this feeling ). and so maybe on some small level I do hope he will be back and realize his mistake, I dont think this guy would do this with anyone. Do yourself a huge favor: don't pursue this line of thinking. I understand the sex was good, but understand this: he's done this to you once and unless you're going to move closer to him, he's bound to do this again--and he knows how to do it to you to get the outcome where you're willing to give him a 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc., chance. He told me to stop texting him, That's all he'd need to say to me. I'd be like "used to didn't know you" So..chances of him returning are small. I did go off on him basically saying what kind of scum bag are you...but in the end I have been had. My worst fear is that he is in love with this girl...or totally happy and taken with her...in that type of world..there would be no justice. However, there is nothing stopping you from meeting someone else who will be totally happy and taken with you and in love with you---except for you attempting to punish them for what this guy did. Living well is the justice, not dwelling on how he's choosing to proceed in his life. That's out of your hands now. Turn your attention and energy towards being an even better version of yourself, not someone bound up with bitterness and revenge. Think: clean, clear and bright. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 you may have a point there however your last comment...didnt ..really sit well with me. I do believe there will be justice and he will not get away with this...I am a catch and he will be back... I really believe that Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Thinkin your right on the convenience issue anyways. He has sort of a sordid past and I dont... hes met someone whos also a parent and closer maybe on paper its the right choice. He ended the relationship long ago in his head but you must understand for me im still trying to get my head around it and let go of the idea. My friends at work... even though friends and biased.... are saying.... karma comes around when you hurt people and do wrong by them.. If he does return to me the only thing ill get getting is validation... You know what though he has done this before and I have a sneaking suspicion that... he will stay with her a month at best... then be back on online dating. This coming from a guy who told me he had a past with wimen... a past with not having relationships only short term.... I need to seek justice its the only way ill move on. Each day is getting better but believe me. Dating will be the last thing I do after being jilted by this son of a b. Far too hurtful out there. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 you may have a point there however your last comment...didnt ..really sit well with me. I do believe there will be justice and he will not get away with this...I am a catch and he will be back... I really believe that Get away with what? Falling for another girl? C'mon this happens every day. I think your ego is hurt more than anything. I can't believe you were in love with this guy after just 2 dates. I don't think you're being fair to wish bad karma on him for following his heart. I understand you're hurt but be reasonable. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Oh I have every right after how he treated me... leading me on every right. Yes my ego is hurt wouldnt yours be?? What a pos Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 Oh I have every right after how he treated me... leading me on every right. Yes my ego is hurt wouldnt yours be?? What a pos No, because I know who I am and what I have to offer. I would be disappointed that I didn't have a real chance with him if I liked him a lot. But, once he told me he liked someone else that would be it for me especially after just 2 dates. I wouldn't wish ill on him though because wishing ill on someone else usually boomerangs back to me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Exactly he dug his own grave if he cant see what i have i dont want him.. hes a dirtbag anyhow. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Im trying to make sense of the reason he was so harsh about the whole thing.... about saying I met the one i feel on cloud nine around her and.... shes better suited sexually for me I think he said those things to hurt me... when we first started talking I made a couple comments about how he had kids.... I said somethin like hows roofin to him because he does concrete roofing tile and I am thinking maybe he felt..... His ego got bruised even though I didn't mean to make him feel bad. I dont have kids and maybe we werent matched... but I stoll wanted to persue things anyways. I honestly think he wanted to hurt me as much as he could... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 . I honestly think he wanted to hurt me as much as he could... Not a good sign. If he wanted to hurt you as much as he could, that tells you a lot about his character. Just think of all you've been spared from. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 I know your so right but my instincts are usually right and.... im pretty certain those comments were to hurt me as much as he could.... The shes the one cloud nine.. you dont need to say that unless you want to hurt someones feelings And the sexually inadequate thing... a definite shot ..... Most men would never say that stuff....only to hurt someone...maximum damage. He coulda left thag part out I still wouldve got the picture. Some people are damaged I suppose or maybe I made him feel lesser than myself... who knows. I guess being a single dads tough. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Well Krista, I've always felt that people who are happy with themselves don't need to put others down or say things that are hurtful. No need to compare, compete, have one upmanship, get your digs in. No need for any of that. So, it tells you about his true character. He probably does feel bad about himself in some way, who knows, how well do you really know him?....yes, being a single dad is tough, very tough. "Cloud nine" usually does not last. It's just a dopamine high. That's all it is. I know this hurts, but if you can somehow see that maybe you've been spared from future hurts it might help you heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Mountain girl I know I have been but as I said I still maintain he couldve dumped me in a better way. He didnt have to try to hurt me by saying sexually compatible... then when I called bs on that he said shes the one and he feels on cloud nine. Any respecting person would say something different like... I feel like this is the best decision for me...I personally would never tell someone Id recently slept with that I met someone else who makes me feel on cloud nine. I trust ny intuition and that is a direct hit.... on purpose that didnt need to be said. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 What comes out of a person mouth tells you so much about that person. That's why a lot of people should just shut their mouths and not say anything, He really didn't care if what he said hurt you more...you were going to be hurt anyway....and him saying that just seems to have made it worse....but he didn't seem to care. So, that's a hard thing to take in. But just tell yourself you deserve better, you really do. You deserve someone who will treat you nice. I can pretty much guarantee you that cloud nine is a temporary state. Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 I do see I have been spared. Better this girl hurt than me. Well more hurt in the end. I know the infatuation stage. The cloud 9 stage. And your right it could be true but... in all honesty...you dont say that unless you want to hurt someone. Link to post Share on other sites
MountainGirl111 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I agree. Maybe he did want to hurt you as much as possible. Any idea why that could be? Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 And you are so right. He knew I would be hurt anyways so he may not have even thought about it. I hope he also knows that.... there is no way this could ever be forgiven. Ever. Even when he messes this one up Link to post Share on other sites
Author krista28 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Yea you dont need to share that information as if I give a crap if shes the one. He said it to get to me. I dont have kids I have a good career.... I said a comment once about him being a roofer he may have taken it the wrong way.. He was insecure about his truck when I met him.. Ive got a nice car. These things shouldnt matter to him but I do think he felt a bit inferior not that he was at all..... but I felt it from him.. Link to post Share on other sites
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