Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Oh, I think that the respect goes away faster than the love and affection. You certainly did not respect your husband. How can you possibly expect him to respect you? Guess at that point I was naive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Was your husband just the rebound? The guy who you clung on to when your ex rejected you. I had broken up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 People I know I have made wrong choices and I have to live with them. Life is the greatest teacher. All came at expense of my marriage and my husband. But I still hope he will give me a chance after divorce to work from ground again. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 I had broken up with him. Yes, but only because he didn't want to marry you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 Yes, but only because he didn't want to marry you He wanted me to wait. Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 You mentioned it was hard to get therapy in India. Maybe an online therapist is your answer. Here's an article about Talkspace.com - What it's like to use Talkspace therapy app - Business Insider Here's their website - https://www.talkspace.com/ 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Krtk Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 He wanted me to wait. So that means you both never sorted your feelings for each other and you just jumped into another relationship and then seeing your ex back it all came back right that the real problem I guess you never grounded boundaries with him after you married. You didn't consider your husband your marriage or anything. that's quite immature. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 You mentioned it was hard to get therapy in India. Maybe an online therapist is your answer. Here's an article about Talkspace.com - What it's like to use Talkspace therapy app - Business Insider Here's their website - https://www.talkspace.com/ Here therapist are more into assessment than actually counselling people. I have tried few. I will take suggestion from here and meet a spiritual Guru. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mercy Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 I will take suggestion from here and meet a spiritual Guru. Excellent idea! I wish you the best! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 Excellent idea! I wish you the best! Amen and amen 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 9, 2017 Author Share Posted May 9, 2017 So that means you both never sorted your feelings for each other and you just jumped into another relationship and then seeing your ex back it all came back right that the real problem I guess you never grounded boundaries with him after you married. You didn't consider your husband your marriage or anything. that's quite immature. For one year I worked with out any issue. Ice broke after a joint project. Then things moved in direction it shouldn't have gone. Link to post Share on other sites
Krtk Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 For one year I worked with out any issue. Ice broke after a joint project. Then things moved in direction it shouldn't have gone. So like you already said you and your husband discussed your previous relationships. that means throughout the period of time your husband knows your working with you exbf and he trusted you then the change in your attitude pretty much summed up for him I guess. And also you said you're jealous of your husband relationship with other women if they asked your husband to divorce you for her the one you mentioned if that's the case you should have been overprotective of him but you did the exact opposite I couldn't understand so at that time did you think your marriage is a lost cause like your husband would leave you. What's on your mind when you start an affair with you're ex. Do you think your marriage is kinda over like you least bothered about it. Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 People I know I have made wrong choices and I have to live with them. Life is the greatest teacher. All came at expense of my marriage and my husband. But I still hope he will give me a chance after divorce to work from ground again. In the US most betrayed husbands at least try to reconcile with their WW's. It might only last a few days or a couple weeks but they try. I believe that when a man chooses divorce quickly, he and WW are both better off. If he knows he will never accept what she did then over as soon as possible saves a lot of pain & agony. What are you looking for from us at this stage? Unless he comes back there is no advice to give. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted May 9, 2017 Share Posted May 9, 2017 Dr... If and it is a big if... your husband Ever speaks to you again try to keep your story straight because the one you have shared with us is all over the place. Get yourself together and become a better person. You are right... sometimes life lessens are hard 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Maddieandtae Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Deep remorse nobody here can tell you what you feel or don't feel. You are just at the beginning of a whole lot of emotions that you cannot possibly articulate in a reasonable manner. You have a long journey ahead of you which will most likely take years for you to heal and truly understand what you did to your marriage, husband and yourself. Don't give up, work hard at discovering all aspects of yourself, especially the ones that you don't like and learn for yourself how to use those aspects in positive ways. Coping skills will be another area you should be aware of how to manage in healthy ways. You can do it, just remember you need to proof to yourself that you can be a better you and it won't matter at all what others think of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 In the US most betrayed husbands at least try to reconcile with their WW's. It might only last a few days or a couple weeks but they try. I believe that when a man chooses divorce quickly, he and WW are both better off. If he knows he will never accept what she did then over as soon as possible saves a lot of pain & agony. What are you looking for from us at this stage? Unless he comes back there is no advice to give. I have to live rest of my life knowing that I have done something horrible to most caring person I know. I want to learn from others experience here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Dr... If and it is a big if... your husband Ever speaks to you again try to keep your story straight because the one you have shared with us is all over the place. Get yourself together and become a better person. You are right... sometimes life lessens are hard I have to restart. Recently I met my in laws. I asked for forgiveness for hurting them and their son. They were cordial. Me n my mother in law are pretty close. I lost a great family. But they are still supportive. My husband had visited home recently to seek advice from his parents. They mentioned that he is dead set on divorce but not sure if in future we will be together or not. I requested them of my desire to meet him. They said they will try. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Deep remorse nobody here can tell you what you feel or don't feel. You are just at the beginning of a whole lot of emotions that you cannot possibly articulate in a reasonable manner. You have a long journey ahead of you which will most likely take years for you to heal and truly understand what you did to your marriage, husband and yourself. Don't give up, work hard at discovering all aspects of yourself, especially the ones that you don't like and learn for yourself how to use those aspects in positive ways. Coping skills will be another area you should be aware of how to manage in healthy ways. You can do it, just remember you need to proof to yourself that you can be a better you and it won't matter at all what others think of you. I have started writing things that I want to say to my husband in a dairy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
drifter777 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I have started writing things that I want to say to my husband in a dairy. I think that's a good idea - probably good therapy for you. Do you have any indication that your husband will ever talk to you again? Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Every time I look at my parents I see disappointment in their eyes. It hurts me to my core. My in-laws always treated me like their own daughter. I disappointed them too. I am hating myself more with each passing day. Few days back it was my b'day. Not sure why but I had this small hope that my husband will finally call. I waited for his call the whole day but didn't receive anything. I guess that crushed me. Since then I am having disturbing thoughts. Hate to admit it but one time I thought about hurting myself. But spoke to my sister and she put some sense into me. I want to fight for him but don't know where to start. Attempts to reach him via my parents, his parents siblings and friends didn't go well. No one knows where he is staying other than his lawyer. The place to start was before you cheated. Nothing you can do but work on yourself. If he is not willing to stay with you after you had sex with another guy, that is his right. You need to figure out why you did it to begin with. Do you have friends that have cheated? If so, get them out of your life. Have you ever cheated before this? If so, why??????? Have you been reading stories about cheating wives? How was the OM able to get close enough to you for you to have sex with him? Guard yourself from this in the future. Remember, your husband did nothing to cause this. Take responsibility for what you did and give your husband what he is wanting. I read a story the other day about a wife that cheated. She gave her husband the divorce then got a small apartment just down the road from their home. She lived there for over a year, just working and seeing the kids. She never went out or dated anyone. She was paying for what she did to her family is what she told people. After a year or so her and her ex started seeing each other again and got back together. Something like this might be your only shot. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I have started writing things that I want to say to my husband in a dairy. The problem with this is actions speak louder then words. Your husband won't believe a thing you say to him at the present time. Just ask his forgiveness ands let him know that you will wait until he is ready to talk. It all depends on what you want. If you want to save your marriage then let your actions speak for you. Live your life to remarry your husband again. If you want anything else then live your life for that purpose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Just so you know. Your husband is doing exactly what I would do. After the divorce I would truly see if my wife still loved me after cheating. If she still tried to get back together with me after the divorce was final. Not knowing your story, if it was a one time mistake or something that went on for months would also play a part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 I think that's a good idea - probably good therapy for you. Do you have any indication that your husband will ever talk to you again? I think he will but after divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 The place to start was before you cheated. Nothing you can do but work on yourself. If he is not willing to stay with you after you had sex with another guy, that is his right. You need to figure out why you did it to begin with. Do you have friends that have cheated? If so, get them out of your life. Have you ever cheated before this? If so, why??????? Have you been reading stories about cheating wives? How was the OM able to get close enough to you for you to have sex with him? Guard yourself from this in the future. Remember, your husband did nothing to cause this. Take responsibility for what you did and give your husband what he is wanting. I read a story the other day about a wife that cheated. She gave her husband the divorce then got a small apartment just down the road from their home. She lived there for over a year, just working and seeing the kids. She never went out or dated anyone. She was paying for what she did to her family is what she told people. After a year or so her and her ex started seeing each other again and got back together. Something like this might be your only shot. Not sure why I hurt my husband. He didn't deserve any of it. I will forever regret this. I want to fight for him and be the wife he deserved. If he starts meeting other girls, it will be mission impossible for me. But again I can't stop him. I have lost the right to do anything about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Deepremorse5 Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 I think that's a good idea - probably good therapy for you. Do you have any indication that your husband will ever talk to you again? Yesterday he called my father to check on my health. Link to post Share on other sites
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