Dumped My Girlfriend, Now Struggling With My Decision!

March 3, 2017

Another really bad day

I hope things get easier

Soulforge, what you are going through are withdrawals. Your brain is literally feeling the same feelings a heroin addict coming off of drugs. It doesn't change the fact that if you did check your old sim and perhaps reestablish contact with your ex things will just go back to what it once was, lack of communication and disrespectful talk in her behalf. Is this what you look forward too?

Try your best to start dating. I bet if you met another woman that has potential you'll quickly start forgetting your ex. I know I will, for sure. Just hang in there bro. If you go back to her you're going to fall back into the same routine. Then when you guys breakup again you're going to have to start your healing aaaaaaaall over again. Is this what you want? Just think about bro.

Just give in to the fact that you're a druggie needing his fix, that's all this is bro. Start dating bro. It's time!

March 3, 2017

Soulforge, what you are going through are withdrawals. Your brain is literally feeling the same feelings a heroin addict coming off of drugs. It doesn't change the fact that if you did check your old sim and perhaps reestablish contact with your ex things will just go back to what it once was, lack of communication and disrespectful talk in her behalf. Is this what you look forward too?

Try your best to start dating. I bet if you met another woman that has potential you'll quickly start forgetting your ex. I know I will, for sure. Just hang in there bro. If you go back to her you're going to fall back into the same routine. Then when you guys breakup again you're going to have to start your healing aaaaaaaall over again. Is this what you want? Just think about bro.

Just give in to the fact that you're a druggie needing his fix, that's all this is bro. Start dating bro. It's time!

The logical part of me knows exactly what your are saying bro.. but keep getting overwhelming feelings to try to fix things..

Its a battle between the heart and the brain right now.

Its true, if i ever said anything to her, and called her out on bad behaviour.. then the whole relationship could hit a crisis again, and i would be back on here..

And chances are SHE WILL say or do something that is considered out of order..

I called her out a little last time, because everything to her was a joke... because of this, i got hung up on... and ignored for 5 days..

Leaves me in a situation where i would have to walk on egg shells.. and be too AFRAID to confront bad behaviour!!

Partly i miss her because of shallow reasons.. i think i won't meet an attractive woman like her again..

Or i will not meet a quality woman who shares my values..

The thought of her sleeping with other men is killing me too..

I am trying my very best to hold on.. its so hard

Edited March 3, 2017 by soulforge

March 3, 2017

The logical part of me knows exactly what your are saying bro.. but keep getting overwhelming feelings to try to fix things..

Its a battle between the heart and the brain right now.

Its true, if i ever said anything to her, and called her out on bad behaviour.. then the whole relationship could hit a crisis again, and i would be back on here..

And chances are SHE WILL say or do something that is considered out of order..

I called her out a little last time, because everything to her was a joke... because of this, i got hung up on... and ignored for 5 days..

Leaves me in a situation where i would have to walk on egg shells.. and be too AFRAID to confront bad behaviour!!

Partly i miss her because of shallow reasons.. i think i won't meet an attractive woman like her again..

Or i will not meet a quality woman who shares my values..

The thought of her sleeping with other men is killing me too..

I am trying my very best to hold on.. its so hard

I share your pain my friend, I share your pain.

March 4, 2017

Why do i feel like, i will never find a good connection with a woman again?

Even tho this relationship was problematic.. when things where good.. they where really really good..

We had some amazing times... so hard letting this go

March 4, 2017

It's funny...

But tonight i am feeling somewhat proud for dumping her!

Admitted i should have done it earlier.. but i have made it known, that her chitty behaviour is no longer acceptable..

Some people deserve to be dumped.

March 5, 2017

It's funny...

But tonight i am feeling somewhat proud for dumping her!

Admitted i should have done it earlier.. but i have made it known, that her chitty behaviour is no longer acceptable..

Some people deserve to be dumped.

Sometimes the most unstable relationships garnish the most "high" when it comes to love. So its hard to inject your self into a stable relationship where you don't get those "highs"

Sometimes in unstable relationships often there is mirroring and love bombing which are all unhealthy forms of relationships in large doses. So in a way you might not get that connection you yearn for unless you happen to get into another unstable relationship (generally). Often you hear of people who are in dramatic like relationship...they simply yearn for the high of having the whole spectrum of emotions being exercised.

Its good that you broke away and respected your self and be proud of your self you took those step to respect and honor your self and sacrifice the need for love to protect your ego and self esteem. Its best for the long haul. Good luck

March 5, 2017

The reason why i and some others are on here, is because we ignored clear red flags our exe's displayed..

They undermined us.. disrespected us.. they where dismissive of our feelings..

They didn't show us genuine commitment and love..

Yet we ignored all this and continued to engage in a relationship with them...

We where driven by fear.. fear of being alone.. fear of never finding anyone again..

Truth is chitty behaviour should never be accepted by anyone who proclaims to love us!

I have a long hard road ahead of me.. and there will be times where i feel alone and miss her like crazy..

But still i am glad i finally found the courage to drop her like a sack of spanners!

March 5, 2017

Sounds like she wasn't good for you in the first place. To get her to say "I love you back" most women can't even say that word for some strange reason. The excuse would be they just don't feel it like you do. You made one mistake you told her how much you feel for her. Never say "I Love You" first let the woman say it! I know we men want to say it them because we feel they would feel the same way. If the woman said it you know it's the truth, eyes, face, smile the lean over. But now you told her and now she can twist you around. But you ended it and you kick her out. Don't like the mental unstable women back in your life she has not respect for you and look what she did at Christmas. Shame on her not you. Do not contact her, do not even text, etc.. Let her chase you! Do not chase her. If she really cares about you she would be there right now. Now since she's not get your gut in and go relax.. You need time before you can find another women that would really love you and respect you for who you are. Not like this mean woman you had. What you feel for her will pass. Do bad you didn't have a backup woman because you wouldn't have this hurt feel right now.

Edited March 5, 2017 by coolheadal

March 5, 2017

soulforge, I got your pm. Unfortunately for some reason I'm unable to pm. Every time I send out a message it doesn't get sent. I've sent the moderators my concern. Anyway, sorry I'm messaging you here. I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.

March 5, 2017

soulforge, I got your pm. Unfortunately for some reason I'm unable to pm. Every time I send out a message it doesn't get sent. I've sent the moderators my concern. Anyway, sorry I'm messaging you here. I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.

Hello mate i got your messages, they are actually coming through.. must be some kind of delay

March 5, 2017

Hello mate i got your messages, they are actually coming through.. must be some kind of delay

I'm about to go to bed but that's good you're getting them. For some reason it's not showing any messages sent out at all. Just blank, as-if nothing had been written at all.

March 5, 2017

Sounds like she wasn't good for you in the first place. To get her to say "I love you back" most women can't even say that word for some strange reason. The excuse would be they just don't feel it like you do. You made one mistake you told her how much you feel for her. Never say "I Love You" first let the woman say it! I know we men want to say it them because we feel they would feel the same way. If the woman said it you know it's the truth, eyes, face, smile the lean over. But now you told her and now she can twist you around. But you ended it and you kick her out. Don't like the mental unstable women back in your life she has not respect for you and look what she did at Christmas. Shame on her not you. Do not contact her, do not even text, etc.. Let her chase you! Do not chase her. If she really cares about you she would be there right now. Now since she's not get your gut in and go relax.. You need time before you can find another women that would really love you and respect you for who you are. Not like this mean woman you had. What you feel for her will pass. Do bad you didn't have a backup woman because you wouldn't have this hurt feel right now.

Hey man thank your for your kind words and support..

The thing is i have changed my sim card, on my mobile phone.. so there is no way for her to chase or contact me.

I have also blocked her on all other platforms.. i felt this was the best way to break away from this shallow inconsiderate woman.

So she may or may not be contacting me.. i have not checked.. personally i think its more important for me to just have nothing to do with her in any shape way or form.

Partly that is what is bothering me.. she could be frantically contacting me, but i would never know..

This woman is very stubborn and proud.. so i highly doubt she would be

Edited March 5, 2017 by soulforge

March 6, 2017

Something is really bothering me, and I really need some clarification on the matter!

Been thinking about this for days now... I want to explain the event that lead to me dumping her..

Event 1 - I went to my works belated Christmas party.. and throughout the night she kept texting me about this girl, asking me if she was there..

Also making snide remarks, such as..

are you taking her home in the taxi with you lol

This really annoyed me, as i felt like she was spoiling my night, by making me feel bad and awkward..

She again behaved like this when i went out for my birthday meal, with my work mates.. again she bought up this girls name..

I decided to talk to her on whatsapp about this matter.. explained to her, that she needs to stop bringing this girl up again and again..

She claimed she was JOKING and did not take me calling her out well..

She also called me a Dick Head.. on my birthday.. also claimed it was a JOKE and banter..

I did not appreciate being called this.. i draw the line on swearing, name calling.

When i sent her a text and told her to come down to my house for our date at 8.30pm instead of the usual 8pm..

She sent me this text..

Do you want me to leave it? Lol

Firstly why would i want her to leave it.. when i had to do s shift swap at work, that is very difficult to get, and i had to put the planning team out of there way for it..

She is also aware of this... also i was working a abit later that day, so i even explained to her, that i just need a bit of extra to get ready to meet her..

The normal reaction would be.. hey sure thats ok,will see you 8.30pm.. its only a 30min difference!

So i decided to call her..

I got on the phone and said, that i do want to see her, but she needs to be a little patient with me.. as i finished later than usual, so need a little time to get ready..

She then said.. I WAS JOKING

i couldn't believe that this was also a JOKE to her..

So i said.. you need to think about some of these jokes, as they are not coming across as funny at times...

At this point, she got angry and said..

Its ok i will leave it.. and then cut me off the phone mid sentence!

So she basically ***ed me off.. cut me rudely off the phone.. even tho i at her request went through lengths to get that shift swap for her..

Aftet that i did not hear a thing from her in 4 days..

My guess is she, was expecting me to come crawling to her.. for me to ring or text, and suck upto her..

But why should i... if i do that.. then i would only be teaching her, that cutting me off the phone is fine..

Not bothering with me for days on end is also fine.. i will just come crawling.

I felt disrespected and hurt.. so after 4 days i decided that i cannot accept or put up with this kind of behaviour... so i dumped her!

If she cannot take any kind of criticism for her behaviour.. then she should try not creating all this drama around me

And why does ahe disguise poor behaviour as always a JOKE

Whats bothering me now is.. why do i feel like, maybe i should have stayed quiet and not called her out...

Maybe i should have stayed silent about her drama and childish behaviour...

I need to know that i did the rignt thing!!!

March 6, 2017

Yes you did the right thing. She was sabotaging the relationship with her words and immature actions. Of course you call her out on her behavior.

March 6, 2017

Yes you did the right thing. She was sabotaging the relationship with her words and immature actions. Of course you call her out on her behavior.

I tried my very best to be patient with her.. but at some point you have to say something.. otherwise it comes across as you are too scared or weak to call out bad behaviour!!

Also why should i chase or crawl after being cut of the phone like that.. i have some self respect!

If i except behavior like that... then she would always cut me off.. and disappear for days, expecting me to come chase her...

This is not a grown adult should be behaving.. such childish behaviour!

I have been beating myself up.. blaming myself.. but i really felt compulsed to call her out..

I did not shout, raise my voice.. just said she needs to think about her jokes!

March 6, 2017

It's not easy dumping someone you still love..

I get urges to contact her, and to check my old sim card to see if she messages me..

But i worry, that i may open myself up for more hurt..

I need to feel confident that i did the right thing.. this will give me the strength to move on!

March 7, 2017

How many of you would tolerate being cut off the phone, mid sentence?

Then totally ignored for 4 days straight?

March 7, 2017

Ask yourself this, and soulforge, I want you to answer these by writing back to us a reply-post with these questions and answers accordingly.

Question 1:

If I pop back in my old sim and turn on my phone and receive absolutely nothing from her, just dead, cold silence:

1.) How will I feel? (list more than one feeling if you must)

2.) How will I handle it? (describe in detail)

3.) What will be the result, short and long-term? (describe in detail)

Question 2:

If I pop back in my old sim and turn on my phone and receive a bunch of texts and missed phone with voice mail from her:

1.) How will I feel? (list more than one feeling if you must)

2.) How will I handle it? (describe in detail)

3.) What will be the result, short and long-term? (describe in detail)

I want you to really think about these questions, and I mean really, really think about them. Be brutally honest. No holds barred. Even if it means you might be happy if she responded, again, be honest. Now close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, relax your mind and start to imagine these scenario playing out as-if it were really happening in real life. Imagine the very same person you fell in love with and all her quirks reacting to you according to the questions posed above.

March 7, 2017

Ask yourself this, and soulforge, I want you to answer these by writing back to us a reply-post with these questions and answers accordingly.

Question 1:

If I pop back in my old sim and turn on my phone and receive absolutely nothing from her, just dead, cold silence:

1.) How will I feel? (list more than one feeling if you must)

2.) How will I handle it? (describe in detail)

3.) What will be the result, short and long-term? (describe in detail)

Question 2:

If I pop back in my old sim and turn on my phone and receive a bunch of texts and missed phone with voice mail from her:

1.) How will I feel? (list more than one feeling if you must)

2.) How will I handle it? (describe in detail)

3.) What will be the result, short and long-term? (describe in detail)

I want you to really think about these questions, and I mean really, really think about them. Be brutally honest. No holds barred. Even if it means you might be happy if she responded, again, be honest. Now close your eyes, take a couple of deep breaths, relax your mind and start to imagine these scenario playing out as-if it were really happening in real life. Imagine the very same person you fell in love with and all her quirks reacting to you according to the questions posed above.

Answer to question 1

How would I feel if she had not made any kind contact at all??

01. I honestly believe I would be very upset. I would feel like I meant nothing to her.

02. I would probably find it very tough to handle, it would maybe even tempt me into reaching out to her and breaking no contact

03. Long term effects, it will slow down my healing progress. I would feel depressed

Answer to question 2

How would I feel if se had contacted me, and left some messages.. This depends of what kind

of messages she left... If they where messages of regret or wanting to talk about the relationship

01. I would feel a sense of relief, a sense of hope.. but at the same time very cautious

02. I would probably sit back and think about the situation.. I would have to seriously consider if should her back.. I would have to think about the long term future of the RS.. the risks involved in getting involved with her again.. I would have to consider where I would be with this woman in 10 years time

03. If I got back with her.. the short term result would be happiness & relief.. the long term result would be UNKNOWN.

As I do not know if she has learnt from her mistakes... plus we (kind of) long distance. She moved out.. and transferred her job back to her home town.. I am not willing to move to her town, as I would have to quit my job, leave my home... and the risks are too high.. This is a woman who has already walked out once, when things got a little tough... so long term future does not look great..

So I guess the real question is.. do I really want to go back this relationship, even if she has made contact with me?

I am open to the possibility of reconciliation, but this would require a serious AWAKENING on her part.. but again.. we would not live together.. or marry.. so it would be back to years of seeing each other maybe twice a week.. if that... plus the RISK of her RUINING everything all over again.

The thing I struggle with the most is... The event that lead to the break up!

she was sabotaging the relationship, creating drama over nothing, incidents of rudeness.. and she put all this down to a Joke

so telling her she needs to think about her jokes does not seem like such a horrendous act committed by me??

at some point something needs to be said.. or the childish behaviour continues

March 7, 2017

YOU have been here many times before.

It is one of those drama filled relationships and no doubt both of you deep down love it.

Repeated scenario - You feel she "disrespects" you, you break it off and you spend weeks on here trying to get support in justifying your decision, but end up giving in and you are back together once again, until the next time.

Call her up and make it up with her.

You know you want to.

Yes, there are some very important issues in this relationship, but all this frankly immature bickering ON BOTH SIDES, back and forth, needs to stop now.

Decide if you truly want this woman in your life or not and stick by it.

March 7, 2017

I wanted nothing more than to be with this woman.. i love her, and wanted to spend my life with her..

The first major argument we had, she moved out, and left for back home..

So living together is pretty impossible for us now.. it will always be long distant..

How long can that go on for..

Also the rudeness and drama that keeps coming my way, just ruins everything!

If i keep forgiving her, and overlooking the things she is doing.. i will lose all sense of self respect.

I want to be with her.. but the price would be my dignity.. self worth.. and maybe even my sanity!

March 7, 2017

Li tunnel

I replied to your questions.. would like your thoughts on this

March 8, 2017

I've come to the conclusion.. the only reason for me to check my other sim card (mobile) is... if I intend to get back with her

this means calling her up if she hasn't contacted me.. which means if she rejects me.. then I will be in a MUCH worse place

last couple of days I am really starting to miss her.. seeing her in my dreams a lot.. I look to side of my bed and notice she is not here.

but.. my gut instinct is screaming at me, getting back with her would be a HUGE MISTAKE

my logic needs to override my heart

maybe I have slow esteem right.. but I feel I will never find a that special woman again.

feel like she was the best I could get

Edited March 8, 2017 by soulforge

March 9, 2017

Hi guys,

Why am i having so many doubts about ending it with her???????

March 9, 2017

Hi guys,

Why am i having so many doubts about ending it with her???????

We ended up talking.. and she pretty much blamed me for EVERY SINGLE THING under sun.

She also called me a Dick Head.. on my birthday

This is not a grown adult should be behaving.. such childish behaviour!

maybe I have low esteem right.. but I feel I will never find a that special woman again.

You are acting as a codependent and as long as your dependent on her she will walk all over you. This is your chance to grow and build self esteem

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