How are you coping today?

[Phoe]

today is better.

 

I am sure I will have more ups and downs before I am totally past this, but I am grateful for the distractions I had today.

[Mario79]

It feels like that song, I take two steps forward and two steps back. Where am I going. Why are you still in my head. My thought dont match my reality, why cant I just accept my reality.

[Polyphony]

It's so strange, it takes one little thing for everything to come crashing down again. We used to hang out all the time, talk all the time. Now I've barely seen her in six weeks, and have hardly heard from her in the last three. When I bring it up, she says she wants to do things with me, she makes plans with me and then disappears. I don't think I should contact her anymore but I wonder how long before I hear from her this time. We had a strong emotional connection.

Her words are still ringing in my ears four days later: "Umm, I'm actually out on a date right now."

I wonder if I should have had the balls to be more direct much earlier, and what would've happened, even though I know I shouldn't play that game with myself anymore. Maybe it wouldn't have mattered but I'll never know, but I think I spent way too long trying to show my interest before telling it.

Even though I've allowed myself to become way too emotionally invested in this, she's acting like she doesn't even want to be my friend anymore, like it never happened.

So yesterday I forced myself to work out, even though I didn't want to. Today I forced myself to do yoga, play the piano for a while, and make dinner, even though I didn't want to. I had a little more energy today, but I think it's just because I was a little angrier. I just want answers, and ultimately, resolution, wherever that leads. Now I'm going to force myself to go for a walk, even though I don't want to...

[Shaine]

How do i stop dreaming of him?

 

When im awake, i feel strong, fine and really moved on. I have convinced myself i am better off without him. I have written down all the things i hate about him, why i dont want to end up with him. Those i read everytime i need reminding.

 

But i always dream of him. I dream that i am crying, asking how he could do this to me, how hurt i am. I wake up panicky and heart pumping fast. I get soo sad again.

 

I dont know what to do anymore. I refused to be sad because he left me. But now, my ownself is forcing me to be sad about it.

[radiodarcy]

You need to find a way to shut the "what ifs" out. Trust me I know it's hard. I was thinking he is probably out having fun maybe relieved to be single again. Once you feel the what ifs coming start thinking you are better off without him. Hurts so much when our heart breaks but someone better is out there for you.

 

 

*sigh* i know. I'm usually pretty good about doing that. But sometimes they seem to come from out of nowhere :/

 

But you're right once they start it's best to squash them.

[CopingGal]

How am I coping? Well, it's been over a year since I've spoken to him. The last time I saw him, he looked so pathetic and ridiculous. I've stopped going to Facebook page to read about his pathetic life. It still hurts a lot, but I'm better than I was over two years ago when I left him. I knew the world had con men in it. Never thought I would meet one. I knew the world had sociopaths in it. Never thought I would meet one. As hurt and angry as I still am, my compassion for him is stronger. I'm the lucky one because I was born with a conscience, not him. Having no conscience and feeling entitled to screw people over has constantly gotten this man into trouble after trouble. I'm so glad to be away from the chaos.

[BC1980]

I do miss the companionship of another person, making plans for the future. I miss sharing my daily life with someone else. That is the biggest loss for me. I do feel better this past week because I have completely accepted this loss, but it's difficult with the holidays coming up. I can't help but think of the shared memories created during past holidays. Things like decorating a tree or buying presents aren't quite as fun because I am not sharing them with someone special. I do have my family, and I am so thankful for that. However, I won't pretend that it's the same as having someone I love to share my life with.

[radiodarcy]

Today seems to have been a good day (I'm being cautiously optimistic - - it's not over yet! :/).

 

I'm still having the tendency to isolate myself. I went to the gym, took the dog out for a few hours. It's deathly cold here today (by the standards where I live anyway); with temps in the low 30s and wind chills of 18 degrees. So I didn't feel like doing much of anything other than staying in after that.

 

Which probably isn't the best thing given my current state. That being said, I find that I'm better able to focus now. Which is probably why watching Bill Moyers cheered me up a bit - - it was the first time I was able to direct my full attention to something else other than the ex.

 

Afterwards I ventured out to the dollar store and stocked up on peanut butter cups and a few other things I didn't need. I suppose if I'm going to indulge in a bit of mindless consumerism as a distraction that's the best place to go...

[mendsley]

I have the damn flu today so I'm a little down. It's tough thinking about how she would take care of me while being sick. I'm running solo on this mission... hopefully it will pass soon so I can get back to my training.

 

I'm a big baby right now, anyone in the Salt Lake area want to help out? HAHA JK

[Polyphony]

Today is a little worse than yesterday. On the verge of tears all day but can't quite cry. I keep wondering how their date went, if they've gone on a second date, if they've been together just about every day like we were, are they talking all the time now? Even when she was studying for the GREs and I wasn't seeing her in person we were still communicating a lot...now there's nothing and I suspect it's because she's talking to him instead. I just wish I could turn my brain off. Still, I wonder when I will hear from her, and what she will say, if anything. I wonder what I will say. I think that if I tell her in words what she already knows it will probably be the end of our friendship...but it feels like it's already over, like I don't exist. I have no idea what's going on with her but I know I can't call her. I guess she found someone new.

[radiodarcy]

I'm back at work today so I have some distraction - - although it's certainly not an ideal one.

 

I shouldn't complain too much as I get to work from home all this week.

 

I tried turning on the television for company/to fill the silence, but for some reason everything I see reminds me of him.

 

The only thing that hasnt so far is the Dark Knight Rises; but I'm not really enjoying it. Too much shouting and explosions. But between the white noise and my work it's been getting me through a very slow day...

[Jules78]

I have the damn flu today so I'm a little down. It's tough thinking about how she would take care of me while being sick. I'm running solo on this mission... hopefully it will pass soon so I can get back to my training.

 

I'm a big baby right now, anyone in the Salt Lake area want to help out? HAHA JK

 

Yuck! Sorry you have the flu! Take care of yourself! You don't need someone to do that for you! I think that's what you would say to me. heehee

 

I'm in Texas and I would freeze to death in your area so I can't help. haha

[acidios]

not good 6th day in NC i woke up with her in my mind..i want to hug her so much,to touch her hair.its really painfull it hurts i wish i wasnt awake right now.

 

is 6:30 at morning here and i feel that i will have a really bad day.i cant remove her from my mind.everything that do is mechanical drinking my coffee,smoking,im searching the room for her..to hear her voice calling me to go back at the bed.

 

is a bloody nightmare all this silence from outside the road is killing my mind its like the life shows to me that from now on everything will be like this,totaly empty.

 

i question my self right now she dont miss me at all? we where together 6 years even before the BU she was staying here 2 weeks we where everyday together,sleeping together doin everythng together,she was ok no problems at all.

 

she dumped me without talking without enything she told me is over that she wants to look her self only and me to do the same.she is so cold right now.

on our last meeting that i tried to talk her for a last change in our relationship she dint pull away when i kissed her on the neck,

she dint ressisted my touch but she was cold she wanted me as a friend so...its over and im suffering right now.

 

she is good with her friends and family having fun,and im in a empty house looking at four walls...she was my love..she was my best friend..she was my world..

now i feel so empty without life i wanted this year to be the year that we will move together and after this one to merry her,but now all is over.

 

i dont know what to do right now im lost

[radiodarcy]

I'm just ok. I still fight (and lose) the urge to check my cell to see if he's contacted me (which he hasn't). But I seem to be doing it less and less. So I guess that's progress.

[acidios]

7th day of my NC.

 

not good i miss her its not easy to clear your mind..i got her image inside my head and its really hard to accept that i will not hug her or kiss her again.today i caught my self whispering her name im really weak right now.

 

something that i really mind is that i have stoped do plans for the future

i dont care really for enything right now i just want xmas to pass fast and new year to come. maybe in the new year i will find something to dream something to have as a target to focus.right now im only thinking the dreams and targets that i had for me and her and that is painfull.

[Shaine]

15 days NC

 

I took a power nap and dreamt of him. And i was still hoping for reconciliation on my dream and he's still rejecting me. Wth!

[sun1972]

Anxious, VERY anxious- and agitated

 

we met saturday and agreed we will try again once i have another job

 

but i know how she is... when together (its ldr) we instantly slip into ultra loved up mode, heck we did that within an hour when i returned her keys

 

when apart she tends to drift away..

 

so, im here frantically writing off for jobs, knowing that once living together we will b fine

 

but im also worrying she will change her mind in the next few weeks

 

and i am trying to avoid over contacting her (read:- dont want to seem needy) but struggling with it

[Steven33]

Been a tough week to be honest....mixed emotions and just trying to keep it all together. 2months post break up...yesterday we would have been together 3years and 10 months....so this time its always an emotional one. Just so angry with her, I made peace with the fact that she was going to be away for 9months working, we spoke about it, I encouraged her and we made each other promises ect and wanted to spend the rest of our lives together...but 2months with her been away it all went pear shaped!! You broke my heart, after everything....

[RDawg]

Had contact with her today. So bloody angry I want to smash everything!!

[Pa76]

Had contact with her today. So bloody angry I want to smash everything!!

 

 

You should go to the gym. I am starting kickboxing next week. I absolutely need it.

[Pa76]

Today I am cursing a lot. Don't care for holiday today. I thought I was doing well but today I am filled with lots of anger and want to cuss him out. I will not and will NEVER contact him. I really thought he would of contacted me to see how I am but nope. Even an ex that verbally abused me text me two weeks after we broke up to ask how I was. The true side of people show after break up. I had a feeling he wasn't really who he portrays himself to be and I was right.

[mendsley]

I'm just getting over the flu and will be alone this holiday. Feeling sad and obviously thinking of the ex, can't help it... just one of those days. I might just hit up a movie, we'll see.

[Mario79]

I am not dealing well today. I keep making you come back to my thoughts and its just hurting me. At time I just feel desperate and confused because none of this makes sense. I want to talk to you, I want to say something. But I cant. Its like noise. I dont know what to do.

[bedelgeuse]

well lets see its Thanksgiving and I'm on loveshack - I'd say my coping today sucks

[Pa76]

well lets see its Thanksgiving and I'm on loveshack - I'd say my coping today sucks

 

 

Same here! Was moving forward but today took several steps back and broke down. Keep thinking about him being not far away at his sisters big party enjoying himself. Hope I am wrong and he feels like crap!!! Fking ahole!