Author sevendays Posted March 18, 2017 Author Share Posted March 18, 2017 It means if she has changed, doesn't communicate frequently or is secretive about what happened while she was away, you have a problem. If things return to normal, it's all good. Can change really happen so quick? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 Can change really happen so quick? Can it, sure. Will it, depends on what kind of a person she is & what happens on this trip. I'm an optimist. So I think she's going on the trip, having adventures & will come home to you to carry on the relationship. That said, there is always the possibility that she will meet somebody or have some sort of life changing revelation. You could also get hit by a bus walking across the street tomorrow. Life happens. I prefer to think about the good stuff, but you have to keep your eyes open to the possibility of the bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 Can change really happen so quick? Thing can change that quickly - even literally overnight. But, right now you can do nothing about it, so just hang loose and keep it light in your texts to her. It's important you don't want to do or say anything that will make her think you are upset by her being on this trip. Let her have her fun and be the cool boyfriend you are to her. Hopefully, her texts don't change or get 'guilty' sounding. But, either way, don't deal with any issues until she gets back and you have a face to face... Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 18, 2017 Share Posted March 18, 2017 Can change really happen so quick? you worried about the wrong thing for real Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted March 19, 2017 Author Share Posted March 19, 2017 you worried about the wrong thing for real What do you mean? Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted March 20, 2017 Share Posted March 20, 2017 When I've been away from my GFs/SOs/wife for an extended period, I've felt bad because I missed them, not because I was worried about what might happen while they were away. Sometimes things happen that will change you, or them, or your relationship, whether you are together or apart. This is just how things are. If she's the right person, she probably misses you as much as you miss her, despite the fact that she is doing other things she enjoys without you at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 21, 2017 Share Posted March 21, 2017 What do you mean? because you received advice literally about not worrying about the future and the question you asked is things really can change that quick??? and again we don't know what the future brings. you literally have to wait and see. if this girl haven't gave you a reason not to trust then trust her and gone about your business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 So this happened; Yesterday she wrote a message along these lines; Hi ******, I know I haven't contacted you, and i've been very distant, and seemed careless when I've been in contact. Reason is, I've lost all feelings for you. However, I so much wish that we could stay friends as I don't want to lose you in my life, as I think you are such an amazing guy. I just read it, and went NC straight away. Deleted my facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. Healing now. I went to her house and picked up all my stuff. I mean. Has she really lost ALL of her feelings in 1-2 weeks? She uploaded a picture on the thursday, where she was wearing my bracelet... Or could all this travelling just be all that is in her head right now? Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 Well it's not like it was any kind of long term relationship. You had barely started dating for crying out loud. Just chalk this one up to experience and move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 Well it's not like it was any kind of long term relationship. You had barely started dating for crying out loud. Just chalk this one up to experience and move on. I did do the right thing by going NC straight away right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kgcolonel Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 I did do the right thing by going NC straight away right? Absolutely. Silence it the correct response. You should fully focus on yourself and who's to say, maybe you'll meet someone who'll stay in the R with you and give you a more solid foundation in the relationship. No reason to be angry with her, at least she did not leave you hanging until she got back and you can now refocus without the worry of seeing her around with another guy for a while to allow you time to heal and re-energize your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted March 26, 2017 Author Share Posted March 26, 2017 I went to pick my things up, and I spoke briefly with her mom. Her mom told me that she had never seen her daughter like this before. They've only had the same amount of contact as what I've had with her... She also said that she wanted me to wait for her daughter to come home, as her head is in a completely different place right now, and maybe she isn't thinking straight with all the excitement around her. I don't know what do to... Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 I don't know what do to... Just. Walk. Away.!! Not your circus. Not your monkeys. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 What you should do is run away. Her mom may be a nice lady but come on man. Have a little self respect for crying out loud. She told you she is done, and no you do not want to be her friend. She has already found a new love that she is banging or more than one. Stay away from her, stay no contact, and DO NOT LET HER back in when she comes home. Start going out and forget about her. This is the type of woman that you dump like a bad habit. Save yourself and keep your self-respect in tack... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted March 26, 2017 Share Posted March 26, 2017 She met, and is banging another dude. She resents you for taking even a little time away from the fun and games she is having... even texting you is too much. But here is the kicker. After she gets home, and the love hormones settle down and her mum has a good talking with her, she will attempt to get with you again. She will be all apologetic, maybe even tell you how sorry she is that she even sent you that 'evil little email', and how she didn't mean it.... and she will now be the loyal little girlfriend to you that she always was. Do not believe a word of it. She is lying through her teeth. If you succumb to her machinations, you are just setting yourself up for a world of hurt. If she does this, shut her down quickly, and with class. Just tell her that you have moved on. No hard feelings but you have other girls in your life now, and you aren't going to hurt them. Then resume NC. You'll thank yourself. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 Um, MHO is that she lost all feelings for you because she found someone else to have them for. This way she keeps you on a leash and gets to have her fling as well. You did the right thing going no contact. Get your stuff and tell her mom that you aren't anyone's stand by. Find someone new. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted March 27, 2017 Author Share Posted March 27, 2017 She rang me two times yesterday. Didn't pick up... I mean what? Suddenly as i disappear, she has all the time in the world to talk... Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 She rang me two times yesterday. Didn't pick up... I mean what? Suddenly as i disappear, she has all the time in the world to talk... It's a good thing you're not with her anymore then, you deserve to be treated better than that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted March 27, 2017 Author Share Posted March 27, 2017 It's a good thing you're not with her anymore then, you deserve to be treated better than that. Still can't get my head around it. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted March 27, 2017 Share Posted March 27, 2017 (edited) Still can't get my head around it. Maybe I can help you with that. Don't throw it on her, you can leverage this event to learn and to improve yourself your values and standards. I have had some relationships through my life. When I was young I had a new girlfriend, that was insisting on traveling for a pre planed trip. I told her to leave my apartment on the same day. She came to me and said that she is sorry and she would cancel this trip FOR ME. I replied that I don't want her to do anything FOR ME, broke up with her and didn't want to hear from her anymore. I have my standards, and one of them is that a relationship should be the main priority. The second is that a relationship needs a daily maintenance, and it cannot survive long distance. I'm not saying that my standards should imply for everyone. But for me, love is everything. if my girlfriend wants to go to a few weeks trip without me, it's like if she said "I don't love you enough." Which is fine, but if you don't love me enough, I break up with you, and it doesn't matter if you apologize or what ever you do or say after that. You say - How could she lost feelings in 1-2 weeks. I say, she lost most of them before the trip. Edited March 27, 2017 by lolablue17 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Filip83 Posted March 29, 2017 Share Posted March 29, 2017 Look, u r straining too much out of nothing, relax. U just need to have a good time with your gf in some cool place, to defuse the situation. I once also almost parted with my gf, could not understand what ****ing happens in relations. Choose Europe hitchhiking, everywher we stopped at bars and clubs. In SPb, we've already sunk to the point that we burned together on a plague strip show in some bar, smth like Zavist, and after the ****ing sex in the hotel I realized that I'd not let her go anywhere neveer Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted April 3, 2017 Author Share Posted April 3, 2017 Been in NC for a week now. She has rung me 2 times, but haven't picked up. I deserved to be treated better than what she did. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 She is the one who said she lost all feelings. I'm so sorry that happened but in the face of that there is no reason to keep in touch or give her the opportunity to explain. There is nothing she can say that will make this better. Even if she said she wants to reconcile, you don't need that. She was cavalier enough to throw the relationship away once, what is to stop her from doing it again. I doubt the trip caused this, although the distance may have given her the courage to come clean. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KBob Posted April 3, 2017 Share Posted April 3, 2017 I doubt the trip caused this, although the distance may have given her the courage to come clean. Or maybe the opposite: she wasn't brave enough to do it to your face; the distance made it easier to bear the consequences. EDIT: I just realised I misunderstood what you said and ended up basically repeating it. Oops. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sevendays Posted April 4, 2017 Author Share Posted April 4, 2017 Today I did the last bit of NC. Had everything blocked, besides her phone number. Well... Not anymore, blocked her phone number as well. Feels good man... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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