KBob Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Help her out by doing some research on the areas she'll be travelling around in and giving her some tips on what to do/expect. Researching scams related to the area would be a big help so she knows what to do when she encounters them instead of being ripped off. Where is she going, btw?
Redhead14 Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 hey man. Whats the best way to "help" my girlfriend? She is going travelling soon, and is very stressed out about it at the moment, as she still has a lot of things to prepare. Should I give her all the space she needs, and be there for here when she needs me, should I ask if I could help with anything or? I'm afraid of being to needy in these times haha.. Telling her that if there is anything you can do for her to help ONCE is not being needy or pushy or clingy -- doing it 10 times would be. Tell her you are willing to help and let it go. If she asks you for something, great. Otherwise, let her do what she needs to do and stay out of her way.
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 Do give her space while she is on the trip. Don't expect her to contact you every day while she's gone. As I said before talk about both of your expectations for contact.
Author sevendays Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 hey. So it's been around 4 days since she left. We did a bit of snapchatting saturday night/sunday morning, where she said we could facetime soon, but that is about it really. I'm overthinking this so much at the moment. At the moment I don't feel as if I should message her to let me know how things are going? I feel as if that would be clingy. I know she is having a good time, doing loads of things. The last thing I would want for her is her to get distracted from what she is doing, as it's a once in a lifetime experience, to keep in contact with me. I just find it all so d*** hard... But. Am I doing it right so far?
KBob Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Yes, let her be the one to initiate. When I took off to Turkey for a month a few years ago I was the one to keep the contact scheduled with my girlfriend at the time, as it could vary if I was on a bus or train, and I relied on wifi, as I wasn't travelling with a phone. We Facetime'd about every third day, as her work schedule and the time difference were tricky to work around. Other than that I would send her the occasional goofy selfie of me or a pic of something really beautiful that I saw. It's ok to send her a "hope you're having fun" text every once in a while, but ultimately if she cares about the relationship she will keep in steady contact with you.
Author sevendays Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Yes, let her be the one to initiate. When I took off to Turkey for a month a few years ago I was the one to keep the contact scheduled with my girlfriend at the time, as it could vary if I was on a bus or train, and I relied on wifi, as I wasn't travelling with a phone. We Facetime'd about every third day, as her work schedule and the time difference were tricky to work around. Other than that I would send her the occasional goofy selfie of me or a pic of something really beautiful that I saw. It's ok to send her a "hope you're having fun" text every once in a while, but ultimately if she cares about the relationship she will keep in steady contact with you. But say. it's only been 3 days. Everything is new and exciting for her I suppose? So I should just give it time I guess? I really want her to have a good time, as she might never get the chance again.
TheBathWater Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 I say do your best to keep a positive mindset while she's away. If she's really into you already, I would just assume that she's going to miss you and that you will just have to have extra wild sex when she gets home to catch up I also agree with the person who said you should send her off with a BIG kiss. Give her something to remember while she's away. I literally want you to act as if she's going to be dying to see you when she gets back, even if you don't fully believe it at first. Your confidence will be very attractive to her, and trust me, if things pick up where they left off when she returns, you will be in a very good situation with her.
Author sevendays Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 I say do your best to keep a positive mindset while she's away. If she's really into you already, I would just assume that she's going to miss you and that you will just have to have extra wild sex when she gets home to catch up I also agree with the person who said you should send her off with a BIG kiss. Give her something to remember while she's away. I literally want you to act as if she's going to be dying to see you when she gets back, even if you don't fully believe it at first. Your confidence will be very attractive to her, and trust me, if things pick up where they left off when she returns, you will be in a very good situation with her. wish it was that easy man..
Author sevendays Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Am I doing it "right" by not contacting her, asking how she is and stuff for now? She has only been gone for 3 days. By letting her enjoy her trip, and not thinking about me at home. I don't want to be clingy or anything, I want her to enjoy herself...
d0nnivain Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 You can contact her but you need to understand she won't contact you as much. She's having adventures, not being glued to her phone / computer. Send quick message like I hope you are having fun. I went on a vacation planned before I met my now husband shortly after we started dating. Between time zones & poor satellite connections it was very hard to stay in touch. When he picked me up after the trip he brought me a bag of Hershey's kisses for all the kisses we missed out on while I was way. Try something like that. 2
Rko28 Posted March 14, 2017 Posted March 14, 2017 Good luck my friend, I'm going to be in the same boat soon so I'm going to be keeping an eye on this. I genuinely hope it all works out for you
Author sevendays Posted March 14, 2017 Author Posted March 14, 2017 Good luck my friend, I'm going to be in the same boat soon so I'm going to be keeping an eye on this. I genuinely hope it all works out for you Fingers crossed ey
Author sevendays Posted March 15, 2017 Author Posted March 15, 2017 You can contact her but you need to understand she won't contact you as much. She's having adventures, not being glued to her phone / computer. Send quick message like I hope you are having fun. I went on a vacation planned before I met my now husband shortly after we started dating. Between time zones & poor satellite connections it was very hard to stay in touch. When he picked me up after the trip he brought me a bag of Hershey's kisses for all the kisses we missed out on while I was way. Try something like that. How long were you gone for?
d0nnivain Posted March 15, 2017 Posted March 15, 2017 How long were you gone for? I met DH at the end of July. I was gone for 10 days over New Years on a Caribbean cruise. I was not even able to ask him to come along. By the time we were at a point where traveling together would have been an option -- around October -- the cruise was already sold out. He could not have come if I wanted him to. It wasn't that big of a deal. I went. He stayed home. I texted when I could. Satellite in the middle of the ocean was not easy or cheap. When I was in port & could get a cell signal, he was at work & couldn't talk. I even set him up to go to a NYE party being thrown by one of my friends. He had only met my circle once or twice but had seen many of them at a Christmas party so he gamely went & really got to know my friends. They all left me a v/m shortly after midnight. I didn't get it until 2 days later when it finally came through. Make the best of it.
Author sevendays Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 just a short update. She has been gone since saturday morning. Saturday night we snapchatted shortly about facetiming. Wednesday I tagged her in something on instagram regarding puppies, and she responded shortly. Besides that, I've heard nothing from her. Still she has the time to upload pictures to icloud/instagram, mystories on snapchat, and she has even been online on facebook (not saying she has been talking to people)... I don't know if its me overreacting here and overthinking (probably). Yes, I know the hole thing is new and exciting, and she is spending time socializing with the group/organisation she has travelled with. And she shouldn't be spending all her time texting people back home, incase she starts to miss friends, family, me etc, but man... Just one text or something would be nice. I don't feel as if I should be the one making the contact all through her journey?
KBob Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 I looked through this thread to find and answer and maybe I missed it, but: How long have you two been together?
hunk Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 She's not interested and you should detach yourself, go out and start meeting new people. You are more invested in this relationship than her and she can feel it. My last ex did the same thing. She was going on a 2 month school exchange that she'd planned for a year before meeting me. We'd only been dating for about 6 months at this point. She still messaged me and wanted to talk to me every single day from the moment she arrived in the other country. Every day I had messages and missed calls and photos and snapchats, to the point where it was too much and I told her to stop. She was constantly talking about wanting to come home and see me and she would be crying about missing me. Your girlfriend isn't doing anything remotely similar to this so I would take that as an indication she's not invested in you in the same way you are. This is going to send you insane, go out and meet new people and forget about her until she contacts you in a meaningful way. 3
Author sevendays Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 She's not interested and you should detach yourself, go out and start meeting new people. You are more invested in this relationship than her and she can feel it. My last ex did the same thing. She was going on a 2 month school exchange that she'd planned for a year before meeting me. We'd only been dating for about 6 months at this point. She still messaged me and wanted to talk to me every single day from the moment she arrived in the other country. Every day I had messages and missed calls and photos and snapchats, to the point where it was too much and I told her to stop. She was constantly talking about wanting to come home and see me and she would be crying about missing me. Your girlfriend isn't doing anything remotely similar to this so I would take that as an indication she's not invested in you in the same way you are. This is going to send you insane, go out and meet new people and forget about her until she contacts you in a meaningful way. You really think that is the case?
d0nnivain Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 I don't think she's as uninterested as hunk does. I think she is uninterested at this moment because she is traveling. Try not to obsess. Keep doing what you are doing. Tag her on something. Send 1-2 pithy messages but stay low key. See what happens when she gets back. 1
Author sevendays Posted March 17, 2017 Author Posted March 17, 2017 I don't think she's as uninterested as hunk does. I think she is uninterested at this moment because she is traveling. Try not to obsess. Keep doing what you are doing. Tag her on something. Send 1-2 pithy messages but stay low key. See what happens when she gets back. So I wrote to her this morning how things were going. She replied as soon as she woke up (time difference), that things were going great, and things are lovely there. She told me what the plan for the day was. I wrote back to her that im glad she is having a great time. Told her shortly what has happened back here, and that i have some funny news to tell her. She then replied that she will see when she gets some free time to talk. I guess i should try and take it easy, and trust... 1
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 17, 2017 Posted March 17, 2017 hey! I need to get something of my chest. My girlfriend is going travelling for 6-7 weeks with an organisation who makes these trips, where people from all over the country can join. Now, she has had this trip planned for a long time, also before we started dating, and OFC i want her to go, no doubt. I've told her im not going anywhere, and we even have plans when she comes back... I'm just thinking. Why am I worrying? I'm overthinking this a lot. Worried things will change a lot, even though I doubt it. I mean, she has never done anything or showed signs that she wants to break up or anything. So why this is worrying me, I have no idea. I'm not scared that she will cheat on me as she has been cheated on herself, and that really tore her apart. Have any of you been in a similar situation, and how did you manage/cope? Your already brainstorming correctly. She haven't given you a reason to worry about her. So yes you pretty much worrying yourself. Plans some things super enjoyable for those weeks. Then see what happens when she get back
Author sevendays Posted March 18, 2017 Author Posted March 18, 2017 Your already brainstorming correctly. She haven't given you a reason to worry about her. So yes you pretty much worrying yourself. Plans some things super enjoyable for those weeks. Then see what happens when she get back What do people typically mean when they say "See what happens when she gets back"?
Curiousroxy86 Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 What do people typically mean when they say "See what happens when she gets back"? it means don't worry about what you don't know at this very moment. we don't know what the future brings. so don't spend time worrying about something that may or may not happen. act on what has/is happening and not what could happen. when she gets back if yall have the great relationship yall had before then you can continue on and see that you had nothing to worry about to begin with. this is assuming your relationship is great. only you can answer that. now if it isn't great then your worry is more so to do with whats been happening which would be valid but I am going off what you said in the post. but assuming the relationship has been great then don't worry when trouble haven't even came your way yet. if she comes back and everything is still great. well great lol. but (and I pray this doesn't happen) if something negative does happen when she gets back then handle it as it comes but please don't worry about what you don't know right now. only go by what you know now and before. does that make sense?
d0nnivain Posted March 18, 2017 Posted March 18, 2017 What do people typically mean when they say "See what happens when she gets back"? It means if she has changed, doesn't communicate frequently or is secretive about what happened while she was away, you have a problem. If things return to normal, it's all good.
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