Should I Prepare to Leave - He Hasn't Proposed

[Redhead14]

I don't want to be an engaged person who never gets married or one of those engaged people that gets married the next month...

 

I originally come from Ireland and everyone gets married young, I was brought up to want marriage and that is the norm if you love someone = you get married.

 

 

He comes from a great family all happily married too.

 

I'd really like to know the reason why he isn't keen "I'm not ready" is an excuse for something else....

 

if you love someone = you get married. -- It works better if they love each other . . .

 

"I'm not ready" is an excuse for something else. -- Likely, I am not ready to marry YOU because I'm not sure I love you "that way" and I have doubts that this is working for me now, let alone the future . . .

[Gaeta]

Sex only once in 2 months?????? And you want to marry this guy?

 

I think we are just scratching the surface of the real problem here.

[Redhead14]

Given the OP's other thread and some of the things she's said in this one, I'm struggling to believe she is 27 years old. Nevertheless, there is something significant going on if the guy "isn't ready" after 4 years not to mention that she's been doing the whole playing "wife" thing for this long and he doesn't take her seriously anymore.

 

All the OP can and should do now is let him know in a calm, reasonable, confident, mature way is that her life goals include being married with children by X date/year, etc. and that she is prepared to leave the relationship if he cannot give her that . . . It's not an ultimatum. It's a statement of her wants, desires, goals and associated boundaries.

[Gaeta]

With the new information I think OP's relationship is on the decline (he shuts down, he dismisses her feelings, absence of sex, she feels unwanted, etc - She thinks marriage will lock this man down and that's how she will save her relationship. Unfortunately it does not work that way.

 

Marriage is not going to fix what is wrong in your relationship. It won't make you feel wanted and loved. Your BF having sex with you would fix that. Not marriage.

[Redhead14]

OP, I am going to take you by the shoulders now and look you in the eyes. You need to really start evaluating the relationship on all it merits and areas that are lacking. Consider you role in the relationship. Consider things he's told you now and in the past that may or may not be causing him to hesitate. Are you bringing your best self, the best woman you can be to his table? If you can honestly say that you are, that there are no changes you can make/address/resolve, etc., then you need to simply accept that you two are not on the same page, in terms of life goals, and make your exit.

 

Your growing anxiousness over this subject is now affecting the relationship, I promise you. Hashing and rehashing will cause him to be resentful. Your other thread shows you are already becoming resentful of others who have what you want, which in turn will certainly contribute to the demise of the relationship anyway. So, you could have a graceful ending by accepting that he doesn't want marriage or have things deteriorate and become ugly and untenable and end that way.

 

You have made it clear to him what you want. You need to sit back and observe. Make a mental time limit for yourself -- 3 months, 6 months, whatever you can tolerate and observe whether or not he comes around to your way of thinking. If he doesn't, you move on.

[Sweetfish]

Let me take the opposite side of the ridiculous things I've read here.

 

Everybody has conditions... For example: You can't cheat. You can't bring other people into our bed. You can't stay drunk for days on end. You can't be a criminal who has been incarcerated for life. You can't steal from my family. And so on. A person who will stay in a relationship no matter what is known as a doormat. So don't let that bother you.

 

Also, there's no such thing as a "good reason" to leave a relationship. The only criterion that matters is that your reason is good enough for you. If you decide to leave because the sky wasn't blue enough today, that's your business and nobody else's. You don't need to justify your life's decisions to anyone. You do what you have to do in order to get what you want. Nobody should stand in your way of that.

 

In that vein, anything can change in a heartbeat. Nothing is permanent. But, that said, we lock our cars overnight so that it is more likely they'll be there the next day. We get educated so that it is more likely we will end up with good, high paying jobs. We use birth control so that it is more likely we don't get pregnant. We get married so that it is more likely we don't get left at 40. Why is it more likely? Because people don't enter marriage easily, unless they are more than willing to do so. They know what it means. The divorce rate is not a reflection of intent, it is more of a reflection of the couple's mutual lack of investigation into how suitable they are as a couple. There's a million things to consider. There ought to be a checklist. But there isn't, and couples find out that either they are not, or their spouses are not the people they thought they were. Most likely, they were either too young, or too thoughtless. So you should consider that too, and consider that you're already stuck on a major disagreement. What other disagreements are out there for you? Surely this isn't the only one. Is kids next?

 

You do bear most of the responsibility in your predicament. If this was a condition, and you were lax or vague with your mental deadlines, or lax or vague in communicating your expectations, then you've created your own time bomb at 29 years of age. If you had this relationship to do over again from the start, at what age would you bail if he didn't marry you? That doesn't mean it's too late to fix things. In fact, it probably means you can't fix things soon enough.

 

You have to decide what you really want. Then, you do what you have to do in order to get that. If it means staying, then you stay. If it means leaving, then you leave. If it means an ultimatum, then give the ultimatum. I don't know what it is, but you certainly shouldn't feel bad about whatever you do, as long as you know that what you do is right for you. Hopefully, you can count on your man to do what is right for him.

 

I'm out.

 

Please don't take the context of what i said and manipulate it by bundling it up with other conditions in regards to cheating and etc. We know what unconditional love is and conditional love is. If you cheat or hurt someone thats toxic love.

 

We are talking about a relationship that the OP has not stated that this man is in anyway a bad man. She has been with this man for 4 years and loves him. She has not expressed he is cheating or slipping away or shows any signs he does not love her.

 

She has now placed a condition that if he doesn't marry her in X amount of time she is willing to leave and get into a relationship in another man and marry. Maybe not now, but maybe later

 

Ok, you marry the next guy and now what happens? What exactly transpires? You live happily ever after with that guy? Or do you get a new urge down the line and if that condition isn't met you divorce him?

 

That is not unconditional love. Don't try to slide in... well if he/she cheats they should just stick around because you said unconditional love right... lets be realistic here and use our brain.

 

You wanna leave cause the sky is not blue... fine.

You feel empowered thats great. It is women who usually have a checklist and decide if the man is someone she should love.. rarely it is men.

 

If someone loves me because i have a 4 year degree and make x amount of dollars... that is not love Because if I lose a condition on the check list im up for review now... lol give me a break.

 

As a man and as you get older and save and build. Do you want to get married with the odds that 1:2 you might get a divorce, have half your **** stripped from you and may have your kids ripped away from you because the sky is a different color and you did whats best for you.

 

No, your in a family now and its whats best for the family and you don't start placing conditions on the family for your own gain and if i was given such a ultimatium.. i would tell her she is free to leave if she is unhappy.

 

The divorce rate is very important. Have you looked into it? Do you know why the divorces are happening. The Asians have the lowest and that almost 75% or more black women are single and have the highest divorce rate.

 

The numbers tells a story and when 50% of divorces are pushed by 80% women that is a telling story. It means a large amount of women are not happy and its simply because most womens needs change as they progressively age and the increase of these divorce has risen because of social media like facebook and tinder.. these are government statstics not arm chair theory or Yahoo.com polls.

 

So here we are.. a women in a relationship with a man. Everything is good and everything was fine and her needs changed. So now the rule book has changed and your advise is for her to leave the minute she doesn't feel happy. Unplug a decent relationship while you sit behind your computer desk.

 

We didn't even get the whole story at first and we don't know the true dynamics of the relationship.. you have no idea if this guy bleeds sweat to maintain the relationship now or if he is just a bum.

 

OP.. here is my advise.. obviously something bad happen in the past. Hell he might be still in love with the last relationship. We only know soo much. May he is scarred from it. We do have to respect that. However, i think you should start off and tell him how much you mean to him and your not rushing it... but being with him and spending the rest of your life with him is important and that we need to compromise on something that is dear to you. Tell him you know we talk about it before and im not ask when.. but asking is it just something your deciding.

 

If he lacks the communication.. than we can see he doesn't care about your feelings... but you have to care about his as well.

 

Sorry it did't happen like what is depicted or seen often.. but every relationship is different.

[ElizabethIII]

I originally come from Ireland and everyone gets married young, I was brought up to want marriage and that is the norm if you love someone = you get married.

 

Absolute nonsense.

 

I know many Irish women, raised Catholic who are late 30s and not married.

 

Every Irish person does not get married young.

[Cookiesandough]

Please don't take the context of what i said and manipulate it by bundling it up with other conditions in regards to cheating and etc. We know what unconditional love is and conditional love is. If you cheat or hurt someone thats toxic love.

 

We are talking about a relationship that the OP has not stated that this man is in anyway a bad man. She has been with this man for 4 years and loves him. She has not expressed he is cheating or slipping away or shows any signs he does not love her.

 

She has now placed a condition that if he doesn't marry her in X amount of time she is willing to leave and get into a relationship in another man and marry. Maybe not now, but maybe later

 

<snip full quote>

 

You're saying leaving someone because they cheat is understandable but leaving because someone wants to get married isn't. That's your opinion, not OP's. To some people marriage is something. Some people want the nuclear family. Actually, the overwhelming majority of Americans do. If it's really nothing but a silly piece of paper, as you say, then why won't this guy just do it to make her happy? Marriage is the ultimate commitment and he's not giving her that. That hurts her. If one partner is causing too much pain and hurt by something they are or are not doing why is it not right for the other partner to leave? Why is the pain of that any different than the pain of being called worthless by your partner everyday or smacked one time?

Edited January 18, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Truncate full quote

[No_Go]

Not to scare you but it doesn't look good with the sex every two months

 

My ex and I were having sex at least once a day, no exception, he was claiming to be Christian, devoted etc, and STILL - I caught him messaging multiple women on the dating site that we met after nearly 2 years together, and HE was the one bringing up engagement all the time

 

He's most likely if not actually cheating, thinking actively about his next...

 

I'm 27 not 29 as the original post says, typed it wrong and can't edit.

 

However you are right, my confidence is at a low & it shouldn't be. Because he has shut down this marriage, I feel rejected, ugly and an just an option that he could drop at any time. Not that I've proposed but imagine saying no and getting angry at a man if he was proposing.....

 

Why else would he seriously not want to be married? . I don't know what will change this. We don't have sex often maybe once every 2 months, he says this is because I have been "going on" about marriage. We are affectionate in other ways, he makes me breakfast in bed every morning, we go on holiday or for a night away every month etc etc.

 

I know he doesn't have a cheating bone in his body & is 100% not up to anything with anyone else.

 

I was out shopping before Christmas and a man followed me around to try and get my number (creepy) but it made me happy to feel wanted for a second!! I think if a proposal happens I will know he does WANT me, but I do want to get married because I love him and want to be with him.

[sandylee1]

I don't see why the suggestion of therapy because he hasn't proposed. Therapists would be raking in the money with this logic.

 

You don't drag a man to therapy or mediation because he won't marry you.

 

He doesn't want to or he's not ready to. Simple.

[Gaeta]

If I had invested 4 years into someone, someone I love and someone who says he loves me, I would not give up because we hit a wall. The wall is more about communication than it is about marriage. Her bf does not want to communicate why he is resistant to marriage. Having one meeting with a mediator that will guide the conversation, allow both parties to express their feelings in a safe environment, allow the mediator to redirect the conversation when it gets off track, a mediator that will take both of them to the heart of the problem. THEN they can both part and knowing exactly why. Mediation is not only to fix things. Sometimes it's to break them in peace with closure.

[sandylee1]

 

OP, please ask him why cannot he marry at this point and why is he not ready yet. You have to ask why 5 times to get to the root cause. i wouldn't give up and walk away from a relationship so easy.

 

Why does he need to give her a reason? He's already said when the time is right. It isn't right for him at the moment.

 

You cannot assume every relationship will end in marriage.

 

There doesn't have to be a root cause for him not to want marriage. Not everyone does want marriage.

 

Asking five times is just madness I'm sorry. You shouldn't demand an explanation and bearing in mind how previous conversations about marriage have gone, why subject yourself to that.

 

Maintain your self respect and stop bringing it up as the more you do, he'll pull away even more.

[ElizabethIII]

I don't see why the suggestion of therapy because he hasn't proposed. Therapists would be raking in the money with this logic.

 

You don't drag a man to therapy or mediation because he won't marry you.

 

He doesn't want to or he's not ready to. Simple.

 

This is it exactly!

 

I see so many threads on here and from people in real life like this. The amount of anger people show and looking at all sorts of solutions, such as ultimatums, therapy, etc etc. And it is ALL to try and force someone to do something they dont want to do or to force someone to be something other than what they are.

 

I dont get why the OP thinks he should marry her at all costs and go to therapy to discover why. let it go and move on. People waste so much time trying to force people to do things they dont want to do.

[Sweetfish]

Why does he need to give her a reason? He's already said when the time is right. It isn't right for him at the moment.

 

You cannot assume every relationship will end in marriage.

 

There doesn't have to be a root cause for him not to want marriage. Not everyone does want marriage.

 

Asking five times is just madness I'm sorry. You shouldn't demand an explanation and bearing in mind how previous conversations about marriage have gone, why subject yourself to that.

 

Maintain your self respect and stop bringing it up as the more you do, he'll pull away even more.

 

Exactly. Also as this thread progressive more information is unraveling. Thats why I challene the OP sometimes.. because posters don't always give the whole story and other members take it at face value.

 

Im starting to question the OP's maturity as well as her other thread titles "am i bring a brat" explores how she doesn't want to see her pregnant sister because pregnant ppl freak her out.

 

So yes there is more to the dynamics of the relationship here.

[Gaeta]

Exactly. Also as this thread progressive more information is unraveling. Thats why I challene the OP sometimes.. because posters don't always give the whole story and other members take it at face value.

 

Im starting to question the OP's maturity as well as her other thread titles "am i bring a brat" explores how she doesn't want to see her pregnant sister because pregnant ppl freak her out.

 

So yes there is more to the dynamics of the relationship here.

 

And OP would gain immensely if going to counseling. She has accumulated an obscene amount of resentment. She wants to get married no-matter-what even if her relationship is falling apart.

[stillafool]

I am not sure about that.

 

My brother and his 'GF' have been together 25 years, 3 teens, a house, a farm, annual trips. They have everything they want in life and are genuinely happy. Their finances are in order, they have a bullet proof Will. They didn't need a marriage.

 

On the other hand I married. Had a 15 year long miserable marriage that ended in a divorce.

 

Yeah but you are saying "they" because they mutually agreed they didn't want to marry. It's different when one partner wants marriage and the other doesn't.

[ElizabethIII]

And OP would gain immensely if going to counseling. She has accumulated an obscene amount of resentment. She wants to get married no-matter-what even if her relationship is falling apart.

 

And she is only 27. Plenty of time to meet someone else. The next one could tick all the boxes and want marriage to her but she is hell bent on forcing this one and I dont get it.

[Sweetfish]

You're saying leaving someone because they cheat is understandable but leaving because someone wants to get married isn't. That's your opinion, not OP's. To some people marriage is something. Some people want the nuclear family. Actually, the overwhelming majority of Americans do. If it's really nothing but a silly piece of paper, as you say, then why won't this guy just do it to make her happy? Marriage is the ultimate commitment and he's not giving her that. That hurts her. If one partner is causing too much pain and hurt by something they are or are not doing why is it not right for the other partner to leave? Why is the pain of that any different than the pain of being called worthless by your partner everyday or smacked one time?

 

confused still? If you love someone unconditionally cheating is a violation of that nuclear family you are talking about. The op did not say anything about the man NOT wanting to marry. I would say any stable average man or women would say cheating is a violation of love.

 

Where is not jumping to get married a violation of love? Irronically, most women want it.. but most women are the trigger pullers of divorce. So an average only 20% of men want divorce... while its 80% that want it.

 

So its now a condition to continue the love. WTF? That is not LOVE. What happen if your boyfriend told you if you gain X pounds he will leave you and can't continue the love?

 

Now your going to give me a million and one reasons why its not the same. No, its a condition right? Maybe all his life he imagine his wife to be skinny. So is this conditional love or unconditional love?

 

Its not just a piece of paper. Its a paper that exclusively gives the other legal rights of 50% or more of your stuff to the other person and 50 to 90% of custody of your flesh and blood to the women by law.

 

The older a man and fiscally secure a man is.. the more he will be aware of this and if he is almost 40 he will lease likely marry or marry quickly.

Edited January 18, 2017 by Sweetfish

[BlkVelvet]

Let me take the opposite side of the ridiculous things I've read here.

 

Everybody has conditions... For example: You can't cheat. You can't bring other people into our bed. You can't stay drunk for days on end. You can't be a criminal who has been incarcerated for life. You can't steal from my family. And so on. A person who will stay in a relationship no matter what is known as a doormat. So don't let that bother you.

 

Also, there's no such thing as a "good reason" to leave a relationship. The only criterion that matters is that your reason is good enough for you. If you decide to leave because the sky wasn't blue enough today, that's your business and nobody else's. You don't need to justify your life's decisions to anyone. You do what you have to do in order to get what you want. Nobody should stand in your way of that.

 

In that vein, anything can change in a heartbeat. Nothing is permanent. But, that said, we lock our cars overnight so that it is more likely they'll be there the next day. We get educated so that it is more likely we will end up with good, high paying jobs. We use birth control so that it is more likely we don't get pregnant. We get married so that it is more likely we don't get left at 40. Why is it more likely? Because people don't enter marriage easily, unless they are more than willing to do so. They know what it means. The divorce rate is not a reflection of intent, it is more of a reflection of the couple's mutual lack of investigation into how suitable they are as a couple. There's a million things to consider. There ought to be a checklist. But there isn't, and couples find out that either they are not, or their spouses are not the people they thought they were. Most likely, they were either too young, or too thoughtless. So you should consider that too, and consider that you're already stuck on a major disagreement. What other disagreements are out there for you? Surely this isn't the only one. Is kids next?

 

You do bear most of the responsibility in your predicament. If this was a condition, and you were lax or vague with your mental deadlines, or lax or vague in communicating your expectations, then you've created your own time bomb at 29 years of age. If you had this relationship to do over again from the start, at what age would you bail if he didn't marry you? That doesn't mean it's too late to fix things. In fact, it probably means you can't fix things soon enough.

 

You have to decide what you really want. Then, you do what you have to do in order to get that. If it means staying, then you stay. If it means leaving, then you leave. If it means an ultimatum, then give the ultimatum. I don't know what it is, but you certainly shouldn't feel bad about whatever you do, as long as you know that what you do is right for you. Hopefully, you can count on your man to do what is right for him.

 

I'm out.

 

YASSSS. Thank you! There is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting marriage, OP, and if that's your hill to die on, I'm here for it. Just because others on this thread are trying to make you wrong for wanting what you want, definitely doesn't mean you are wrong. If you wanting marriage is a "condition" to continue this relationship, then him not wanting marriage is also a "condition". "Unconditional" love is only given to your children -- and even then we have conditions on how we allow them to treat us and behave.

 

Men don't have "conditions" to stay in relationships with women?? Please. Thats utterly ridiculous, and complete nonsense.

 

If you want marriage, OP -- and I mean REALLY want that, then find a man who will give that to you. They ARE out there. Don't EVER let someone make you feel bad for having marriage as a "condition". MANY people have this "condition". That's why they end up MARRIED.

 

Good luck.

[NuevoYorko]

If you Google "70% women initiate divorce" you'll will come up with sites that cite that number. If not that number, then you'll see articles on how a ton of women are the ones that do the initiating.

 

Less than 70% of adult women are even married.

[NuevoYorko]

 

But as i said this is why women do not love like men... because at the end of the day you are willing to walk away on conditions. That is not true love. If the relationship is perfect and your willing to leave because he has not surprised you with marriage.. that is conditional love.

Balderdash. What about him? If he knows that marriage is very important to her, and he won't do it, how is that a better example of "true love"?

[Sweetfish]

YASSSS. Thank you! There is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING wrong with wanting marriage, OP, and if that's your hill to die on, I'm here for it. Just because others on this thread are trying to make you wrong for wanting what you want, definitely doesn't mean you are wrong. If you wanting marriage is a "condition" to continue this relationship, then him not wanting marriage is also a "condition". "Unconditional" love is only given to your children -- and even then we have conditions on how we allow them to treat us and behave.

 

Men don't have "conditions" to stay in relationships with women?? Please. Thats utterly ridiculous, and complete nonsense.

 

If you want marriage, OP -- and I mean REALLY want that, then find a man who will give that to you. They ARE out there. Don't EVER let someone make you feel bad for having marriage as a "condition". MANY people have this "condition". That's why they end up MARRIED.

 

Good luck.

 

 

Your post proves my point 110% and thank you.

 

You value the IDEA of marriage more than the person them self. You even proclaim to "die on a hill" looking for marriage. You are willing to scarifice any man for the idea of marriage.

 

The urgency to get married is the reason why marriages don't last. Unconditional love is not shared only between a child and parent. Unconditional love can be between man or women or beliefs.

 

Marriage does not conclusively means you love someone.

Some people get married for many other reasons.

 

It is very rare the average stable man will put conditions on his girlfriend or wife. A typical man will spare his life for his women... very rare its the opposite. A women will spare her life for her kids... but rarely for her husband.

 

That is the difference in men and women .

[Sweetfish]

Balderdash. What about him? If he knows that marriage is very important to her, and he won't do it, how is that a better example of "true love"?

 

 

The OP has not said he said No. The OP said when he is ready he will marry her.

 

When a women says she is not ready... are you saying a man should aggressively and continously push her to be ready.

[Cookiesandough]

confused still? If you love someone unconditionally cheating is a violation of that nuclear family you are talking about. The op did not say anything about the man NOT wanting to marry. I would say any stable average man or women would say cheating is a violation of love.

 

Where is not jumping to get married a violation of love? Irronically, most women want it.. but most women are the trigger pullers of divorce. So an average only 20% of men want divorce... while its 80% that want it.

 

So its now a condition to continue the love. WTF? That is not LOVE. What happen if your boyfriend told you if you gain X pounds he will leave you and can't continue the love?

 

Now your going to give me a million and one reasons why its not the same. No, its a condition right? Maybe all his life he imagine his wife to be skinny. So is this conditional love or unconditional love?

 

Its not just a piece of paper. Its a paper that exclusively gives the other legal rights of 50% or more of your stuff to the other person and 50 to 90% of custody of your flesh and blood to the women by law.

 

The older a man and fiscally secure a man is.. the more he will be aware of this and if he is almost 40 he will lease likely marry or marry quickly.

 

4 years being considered "jumping" into a marriage is a matter of opinion. According to research into divorce(

https://www.wesrch.com/gp/does-length-of-courtship-increase-likelihood-of-divorce-1819), 2 years of 'courtship' or dating is the ideal for maritial longevity and satisfaction and the further you get away from that in either direction the more likely a divorce.

 

 

Theres no such thing as 'unconditional' romantic love in my understanding of what romantic love is. The the closest thing I can imagine would render the term meaningless because it could basically apply to anything/anyone without any conditions or some kind of codependent set-up where a person morphs themselves to tolerate anything from their romantic partner and no standards for their own lives.

 

 

 

Mature people get married with the notion it is to last their lifetime. They know their partner enough to know he or she is not going to flip out and divorce them over something trivial and make off with their kids and half their community property. If he still doesn't trust her not to do that after 4 years, he should be the one maybe reevaluating if he should stay in this relationship as much as she is. That is, ifhe does want to marry eventually. Especially, in the near future. If not, I see no reason she should stay anymore than he should if she slept with someone else. Marriage and kids are not trivial and a deal breaker for many long term relationships.

 

And of course the older a man or woman is without being married the less likely he is to marry but I don't know where else you are deriving that statistic about being more fiscally secure the less likely he is to marry? Contrarily, all the studies I've seen is married men live longer ( http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/marriage-and-mens-health)and report more satisfaction (Page Not Found | MSUToday | Michigan State University are more successful than unmarried counterparts(https://www.aei.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/IFS-ForRicherForPoorer-Final_Web.pdf).

[BlkVelvet]

Your post proves my point 110% and thank you.

 

You value the IDEA of marriage more than the person them self. You even proclaim to "die on a hill" looking for marriage. You are willing to scarifice any man for the idea of marriage.

 

The urgency to get married is the reason why marriages don't last. Unconditional love is not shared only between a child and parent. Unconditional love can be between man or women or beliefs.

 

Marriage does not conclusively means you love someone.

Some people get married for many other reasons.

 

It is very rare the average stable man will put conditions on his girlfriend or wife. A typical man will spare his life for his women... very rare its the opposite. A women will spare her life for her kids... but rarely for her husband.

 

That is the difference in men and women .

 

Complete and total HOGWASH. And you don't know me, so please dont presume to speak to what I will and won't do.

 

The obvious issue here is that YOU have a problem with marriage. Maybe someone you cared for left you because you didn't love her enough to marry her and that has embittered you, I don't know, but the bottom line is that ROMANTIC LOVE IS ALWAYS CONDITIONAL. If it wasn't, people would never break up.

 

I have conditions to my staying in a relationship. You will treat me with respect; you will be faithful; you will be attentive and care about my feelings; you will not hit me or curse me; and YES, if MARRIAGE is a part of me feeling cherished, truly loved and respected, then THAT'S a condition, too.

 

If YOU don't believe in marriage, then don't get married. But don't make someone else wrong for wanting exactly that. It's not right, no matter what you have to say about it or what your personal hangups are.

 

And to say that men have no conditions for their gf/wives is laughable at best. Come on, man. Ludicrous.

 

"A typical man will spare his LIFE for his woman", but marrying her is too much??? Wow, lol. Unbelievable.