NuevoYorko Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 No. . For others, they get their non addict partners but lack some chemistry or compatibility. Very hard to get a me responsible goody two shoes AND magnificent chemistry AND amazing compatibility. Ugh. Please, Leigh. I have a lot of experience with addiction and relationships with addicts, I want to be supportive of you, but this is unacceptable nonsense. It's insulting for you to say that people with non addict partners "lack some chemistry," and that having a non-addict, responsible partner equates to being with a "goody two shoes" and missing out on "magnificent chemistry." Please. We really were very happy most of the time. Ok. I don't understand at all why you broke up in the first place. He intermittently binges on meth; you are ok with it as long as it's just once in a while, he holds down his job and you have what you call "magnificent chemistry." I wouldn't go for it if it were my last opportunity to have sex on earth but to each his own. I don't understand why this situation was not OK 2 days ago, and now you've spun it around so it's your ideal set up. Please clarify. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I highly suggest you read Co-Dependent No More. Excellent book that is heavily centered on people who are entangled with addicts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 I highly suggest you read Co-Dependent No More. Excellent book that is heavily centered on people who are entangled with addicts. He isn't out using and creating disfunction though. He relapsed once. Since me. We otherwise hada wondering loving relationship. I personally choose not to ditch someone I feel is a great love of my life, unless they cheat or become a junkie who cannot lead a normal life. Or physical abuse. I don't believe you just go on to meet another love of your life. People tell me to leave him because they assume there is little to no hope that once you're addicted, there can ever be a happy ending. That is fine but there is no need to have to warn me; I happen to believe that some addicts can conduct happy personal relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 Ugh. Please, Leigh. I have a lot of experience with addiction and relationships with addicts, I want to be supportive of you, but this is unacceptable nonsense. It's insulting for you to say that people with non addict partners "lack some chemistry," and that having a non-addict, responsible partner equates to being with a "goody two shoes" and missing out on "magnificent chemistry." Please. Ok. I don't understand at all why you broke up in the first place. He intermittently binges on meth; you are ok with it as long as it's just once in a while, he holds down his job and you have what you call "magnificent chemistry." I wouldn't go for it if it were my last opportunity to have sex on earth but to each his own. I don't understand why this situation was not OK 2 days ago, and now you've spun it around so it's your ideal set up. Please clarify. I ended it because of the likes of you. People telling me that no addict can recover and lead happy lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 He isn't out using and creating disfunction though. He relapsed once. Since me. We otherwise hada wondering loving relationship. I personally choose not to ditch someone I feel is a great love of my life, unless they cheat or become a junkie who cannot lead a normal life. Or physical abuse. I don't believe you just go on to meet another love of your life. People tell me to leave him because they assume there is little to no hope that once you're addicted, there can ever be a happy ending. That is fine but there is no need to have to warn me; I happen to believe that some addicts can conduct happy personal relationships. OK, that's great, but it doesn't mean you have to willingly put your head in the sand and resist any sort of education or enlightenment on the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 I ended it because of the likes of you. People telling me that no addict can recover and lead happy lives. There's really no need to get so snippy. I think the overwhelming majority here have acknowledged that recovery from addiction IS possible. The thing is, whether it's drugs or booze, you are never recovered from addiction. You are always a recovering addict, which is certainly not a shameful title. It's actually a great thing if the person has already reached the point of being an addict at some time in their lives. I've got no skin in this game, so I can only say that most people in this thread have been trying to help while retaining a realistic view of the situation. I understand a lot of people are telling you things you don't like to hear, but none of it seems to be coming from a place of malice. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leigh 87 Posted January 16, 2017 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 Ugh. Please, Leigh. I have a lot of experience with addiction and relationships with addicts, I want to be supportive of you, but this is unacceptable nonsense. It's insulting for you to say that people with non addict partners "lack some chemistry," and that having a non-addict, responsible partner equates to being with a "goody two shoes" and missing out on "magnificent chemistry." Please. Ok. I don't understand at all why you broke up in the first place. He intermittently binges on meth; you are ok with it as long as it's just once in a while, he holds down his job and you have what you call "magnificent chemistry." I wouldn't go for it if it were my last opportunity to have sex on earth but to each his own. I don't understand why this situation was not OK 2 days ago, and now you've spun it around so it's your ideal set up. Please clarify. I am saying that it is rare to find a true connect and true love. I have had plenty of hot guys with great careers hit me up and wish to date me or develop crushed on me. I simply didn't click with them the way I did my boyfriend. He is respectful. He tells me I look prettier and prettier every week. What he has is mine my default in his mind. He is generous. He adores me. We have the same life goals. My parents like him and believe he'd do anything for me. When I was stranded in South America and some taxi driver drove off with my passport and I flagged down police who then took me on a freaking highs speed chase of said taxi- my boyfriend knew me but a month yet lost his job over me, cos he insisted on staying on the phone to me and getting to the band so he could transfer money to me. He just drops everything and puts me first, and has done since day one. He had a very crappy mum. As a result he became an addict. He doesn't want to actively use drugs. He wants a stable life. He relapsed a few months back. First relapse in years. Now if you had found a rare connection and something special, I understand that you would all leave them immediately upon finding out they are a recovering addict who elapsed. That is your porogitive. Who are you all to assume that all addicts aren't worthwhile enough to have romantic relationships? Who are you to assume that I should simply dump him and go find someone else, and who are you to say that I WOULD find someone else who I would also have amazing chemistry and compatability with? Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 This thread has served its purpose in answering the OP's questions. Link to post Share on other sites
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