Author freebird31 Posted March 13, 2017 Author Share Posted March 13, 2017 Well I think that when I first met him I got the impression he was a nice shy guy. After these past few months, I came to realize he is actually a flirt. Pretty sure he's seeing other girls. Idk but i can't tell u why this bothers me as much as it does. Ego? Maybe. I don't take rejection very well. I forget the whole thing ever happened between us and don't think about it at all .....and then each time I see him I'm reminded all over again. I guess I just lack experience in dating. I've only had one boyfriend years ago, and he broke my heart took me years to recover. I just don't take rejection well like I said. I haven't had the greatest experiences. There's been more awful than good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted March 13, 2017 Author Share Posted March 13, 2017 I know I'm beautiful and desirable. And I have a lot of great qualities. And a lot to offer. But I'm also very sensitive. and I just don't take rejection very well 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Empyrea Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 Well I think that when I first met him I got the impression he was a nice shy guy. After these past few months, I came to realize he is actually a flirt. Pretty sure he's seeing other girls. Idk but i can't tell u why this bothers me as much as it does. Ego? Maybe. I don't take rejection very well. I forget the whole thing ever happened between us and don't think about it at all .....and then each time I see him I'm reminded all over again. I guess I just lack experience in dating. I've only had one boyfriend years ago, and he broke my heart took me years to recover. I just don't take rejection well like I said. I haven't had the greatest experiences. There's been more awful than good. You might have to experience rejection a few more times, before you actually find a keeper, but really, it does get better, it gets easier. You bounce back faster each time, and if you learn to build your confidence in a way that it is not dependent on a boy, then rejection will never break you again. Your ego will still notice, but more like a bug on a windshield. Wiiiipe, next! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Whodatdog Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 You might need professional help. The only problem in this situation is YOU. He did nothing wrong. He didnt lead you on, didnt treat you badly. He considers you an aquaintenance, someone he can say hi to and have some small talk. There is nothing wrong with that. He's being friendly, and you get all worked up over nothing. Its been MONTHS. You didnt even have a relationship with him. There is nothing wrong with having a small crush on someone, but you are taking it to an extreme to where it is affecting your life. Get help. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 13, 2017 Share Posted March 13, 2017 (edited) OP, you've completely magnified this in your head and likely because you haven't dated much or for a while. Maybe it's more disappointment than anything else. You've been alone for so long and suddenly you meet someone you like and it doesn't go anywhere. I don't see anything wrong in what he did except fail to live up to expectations you built in your mind. It may help you to seek a professional to talk to in hopes of trying to sort out why have difficulty letting go. It's not healthy that you're at this stage over a very casual get together that you two had one night seven months ago. Edited March 13, 2017 by Zahara 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 OP, you've completely magnified this in your head and likely because you haven't dated much or for a while. Maybe it's more disappointment than anything else. You've been alone for so long and suddenly you meet someone you like and it doesn't go anywhere. I don't see anything wrong in what he did except fail to live up to expectations you built in your mind. It may help you to seek a professional to talk to in hopes of trying to sort out why have difficulty letting go. It's not healthy that you're at this stage over a very casual get together that you two had one night seven months ago. Hi Zahara, Maybe it could be disappointment! That makes a lot of sense. Actually, I was disappointed that it didn't work out with someone I liked after a long time of being alone. Anyway, I'm over it already. This exact same thing happened to me 2 months ago when I saw him and I got angry inside again and felt crappy for the first 2 days after I saw him, and then forgot it ever happened. I'm already over it. I have no idea why I got so upset. And I know the issue is probably deeper than the surface. But I'm being honest when I say I'm already over it. And next time I see him I'll just act indifferent. Idk why it upset me as much as it did. If I'm being 100% straight forward I do think it has to do with being rejected and heart broken years ago. It took me years to really recover from it that heart break with my first love. And this "rejection" that happened with this new guy almost resurfaces the old emotion. I know that might have something to do with it. ESP because I actually just recently ran into my ex (first loves) mom a few weeks back and also that resurfaced old emotions/ bad reminders that I didn't know were still there. I have taken all of everyone's advice into perspective. And I have even tried to put myself in Jay's shoes (the guy I went on the date with) and you're right he didn't do anything wrong or intentionally hurtful. I have no idea why I got THAT emotional over it. But as of now, I'm actually 100% fine. And I'll probably forget about this again by tomorrow. Idk where that emotion came from or why it was that intense. Like I said, the only reasonable explanation I can think of, without diagnosing myself as crazy, is that it brought back bad feelings of being rejected years ago from someone I loved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted April 24, 2017 Author Share Posted April 24, 2017 I'm a broken record. But idc. I hope I did the right thing. So I've had to work with this same guy on and off for the last couple of months. And I've kept it friendly. Treated him like how I treat everyone else. Tried to be the "bigger person" and I let it all go for the sake of a healthy work environment. Well, yesterday I worked with him again. And the topic came up after months of never speaking about this. He brought it up. He tells me he is sorry for what happened between us in the past (6 months ago). I just told him it's okay it is what it is. And he then tells me he was just really busy and stressed out at the time. And to that, I said "it's ok. I'm sorry if I acted a little bit crazy". And he said "no u weren't being crazy. You just wanted to know where the relationship stood". I just said "ok so are we cool now?" And he says yes. Then later that same evening he asks me what is my availability. I immediately just froze. My reaction was that I just shut down. And i told him I am pretty busy lately and only certain weekends I'm free. My body language and tone suggested that I wasn't interested in what he might ask me next. So he just says "oh ok". I do believe in second chances, but i just don't have a good feeling about giving him a second chance. His explanation about being busy and stressed could be true but I don't get why it took him so long to say sorry. And to ask me out again. Anyway, thungs are finally at peace between us at work. So why would we ruin that. I think we should just leave it alone and let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Scarlett.O'hara Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I think keeping things as they are is a wise decision. Apart from finally acknowledging that his actions were hurtful, he has done nothing to suggest he has changed. If anything, it is quite conceited of him to think that he can just pickup where he left off after all this time. I think you can safely assume that the same patterns will repeat themselves. You teach people how to treat you, and you need to protect yourself from getting hurt again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author freebird31 Posted April 26, 2017 Author Share Posted April 26, 2017 I get the feeling he is going to casually bring it up again. And ask me to hang out. If this happens, should I just politely decline ? Or give him a simple explanation. Or maybe say that things are good between us at work and that dating again my complicate things and say I think it's best we leave things the way they are. I just want to be prepared. I see him again in a few days. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted April 27, 2017 Share Posted April 27, 2017 I mean well when I say this but I think you need help,freebird. This was 1 "date" over half a year ago....idk. I'm just saying because I have trouble letting go too Link to post Share on other sites
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