Can I turn her into a housewife?

[Ruby Slippers]

Personally, how many guys she has slept with wouldn't bother me.

How many guys she has gotten pregnant with would.

Anyone can have an accident I guess, but three times....

Yeah I'm guessing at least some of that was deliberate.

Agreed. With the many convenient birth control options we have these days, it's very easy to prevent pregnancy with the slightest degree of planning. This woman conceived a child with three different boyfriends and eventually split up with all of them, depriving her children of a stable, present father. I'd be very concerned about her pattern of cavalier, irresponsible behavior.

[WomenWubber]

There's a story I read somewhere on /deadbedrooms about a dude who married one of "those chicks". Turns out the wife had no intention of going back to her past self, none whatsoever. So much was her resolution that she refused to engage in sex with the dude after she got pregnant, coz in her words "been there done that I'm too old to be doing that" or something like that.

 

Just think it's funny how our expectations can screw us up sometimes.

[Cookiesandough]

everyone of my friends(more acquaintances) who have not had stable male figures in their life (including uncle,grandpa whatever) or have been super promiscuous cheated on their SOs. Bar none. They flirt consistently and eventually cheat when one blip in relationship comes up. And I know a lot of them so it's too the anecdotal evidence is so obvious to me that I sometimes don't get why men fall for these girls then complain they acted crazy or cheated. Very Promiscuous women and those with sex abuse or lack of stable male in their lives as children are a different sort of insecure than the typical woman. They do this not for sexual enjoyment, but to get validation from as many men as they can. They use their sexuality to regain some' power'. I see this time and time again and it boggles me mind because it's always some 'nice 'guy she's dating and he's making excuses for her or forgiving her for cheating on him and disrespecting him

Edited October 24, 2016 by Cookiesandough

[ChickiePops]

everyone of my friends(more acquaintances) who have not had stable male figures in their life (including uncle,grandpa whatever) or have been super promiscuous cheated on their SOs. Bar none. They flirt consistently and eventually cheat when one blip in relationship comes up. And I know a lot of them so it's too the anecdotal evidence is so obvious to me that I sometimes don't get why men fall for these girls then complain they acted crazy or cheated. Very Promiscuous women and those with sex abuse or lack of stable male in their lives as children are a different sort of insecure than the typical woman. They do this not for sexual enjoyment, but to get validation from as many men as they can. They use their sexuality to regain some' power'. I see this time and time again and it boggles me mind because it's always some 'nice 'guy she's dating and he's making excuses for her or forgiving her for cheating on him and disrespecting him

 

I grew up without any male influences in my life and I have never and will never cheat on anyone, nor was I promiscuous before I met my fiancé. So..there goes that theory.

[hestheone66]

It sounds like you are a great guy, non judgemental etc.

 

 

I can relate to your gf as from afar many would put me in same category. My BF doesn't judge me as he's also flung his affections far and wide.

However, I think enjoy developing the relationship further without any view to marriage at this stage. You need to wait for the limerance to wear off to be more objective regarding both of your motives to reproduce.

[Alamo657]

everyone of my friends(more acquaintances) who have not had stable male figures in their life (including uncle,grandpa whatever) or have been super promiscuous cheated on their SOs. Bar none. They flirt consistently and eventually cheat when one blip in relationship comes up. And I know a lot of them so it's too the anecdotal evidence is so obvious to me that I sometimes don't get why men fall for these girls then complain they acted crazy or cheated. Very Promiscuous women and those with sex abuse or lack of stable male in their lives as children are a different sort of insecure than the typical woman. They do this not for sexual enjoyment, but to get validation from as many men as they can. They use their sexuality to regain some' power'. I see this time and time again and it boggles me mind because it's always some 'nice 'guy she's dating and he's making excuses for her or forgiving her for cheating on him and disrespecting him

Thats what i observed. Promiscuous women with a tendancy for insatisfaction lacked a proper or balanced masculine figure in their life. It doesn't matter if there was or wasnt a man in their life, what matters is if they suffered from it.

They use their sexual power to validate their own self-worth, usually destroying many men's self-confience along the way.

 

It's a 2 part scenario :

 

1) flirt and seduce a man who have what they currently need : this is the "need for validation" part where any man they are attracted to is a substitute for the masculine figure lacking in their subconsciousness.

 

2) humiliate/cheat/criticize/leave him : this is the "revenge" part, where when a man has run its usefulness (usually because they only accept the strong part of males, and reject the weak part), he's being punished for his weakened masculinity in some areas of his personallity/life, but his also a letouf for her own lack of proper masculine presence during her upbringing.

 

All of this is very freudian and subconscious and most of them do not understand what they're doing until they go to therapy.

Edited October 26, 2016 by Alamo657

[Cookiesandough]

, I realize now I put "or" when I really meant "and". And I didn't mean to offend. it's a correlation I've witnessed and heard about secondhand with people (not just women) who have issues due to lack of positive masculine role models or sexual abuse survivors, and who are very promiscuous. Either of these things alone resulting in promiscuity seems to increases the likelihood ofunstable relationships/affairs/cheating, from what I've observed. So much so that it no longer surprises me.. I think because they have experienced a trauma (not having a masculine role model may not seem like a trauma, but in a society which emphasizes a certain model ie nuclear family, it can be that way) and it manifests that way/that is how they cope. whether it's seeking love, validation, acceptance, resentment, or boundary issues, I do not know. I'm no psychologist. Again, can only account for what I've observed.

 

Thats what i observed. Promiscuous women with a tendancy for insatisfaction lacked a proper or balanced masculine figure in their life. It doesn't matter if there was or wasnt a man in their life, what matters is if they suffered from it.

They use their sexual power to validate their own self-worth, usually destroying many men's self-confience along the way.

 

It's a 2 part scenario :

 

1) flirt and seduce a man who have what they currently need : this is the "need for validation" part where any man they are attracted to is a substitute for the masculine figure lacking in their subconsciousness.

 

2) humiliate/cheat/criticize/leave him : this is the "revenge" part, where when a man has run its usefulness (usually because they only accept the strong part of males, and reject the weak part), he's being punished for his weakened masculinity in some areas of his personallity/life, but his also a letouf for her own lack of proper masculine presence during her upbringing.

 

All of this is very freudian and subconscious and most of them do not understand what they're doing until they go to therapy.

 

This is an interesting theory. Could very well be. I totally agree if they are hurting others or themselves, I hope they do seek therapy.

Edited October 26, 2016 by Cookiesandough

[gorf]

 

My only worry is that it'll happen once we're married & possibly have a kid...at which point I become just baby daddy #3 providing another check for child support...

 

From all you wrote, this is what I grabbed as the 'reason' you started this thread.

 

I mean its legit concern. But whether she had a past.. really of any sort sexually, before you, it will at least make you think a little. The cheating while married thing, is going to be a concern in any situation involving a past even slightly similar to this.

 

The question is: has she changed her beliefs and why? What does she view as wrong about the past? Was it wrong at all in her opinion, or was it just a time of reckless fun? Was it validation to sleep with other men? Or was it something completely different that maybe even she does not understand.

 

Bringing out the reasons why things took place, what led her to do what she did etc, will tell you more about her presumed changed life now and suitable to be a mommy that wont cheat on daddy. Even a woman through years of therapy that comes out looking like Mrs Cleaver ... still could cheat while married. Its a convo for you and her. Gotta get to the bottom of why, then decide for yourself if she is likely to seek validation.. if thats even what the reason was... again once married to you. Follow?