Author NJ123 Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 How do you know? 30 years & never a relationship. Women with options will view that as an instant red flag & likely next me. No woman wants to teach a guy things in relationships like he's an 18 year old kid. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 30 years & never a relationship. Women with options will view that as an instant red flag & likely next me. No woman wants to teach a guy things in relationships like he's an 18 year old kid. Ah. You live your life based on speculation rather than fact. I see. Yeah. It's probably best to just be alone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 The irony of this and every NJ thread is, if he put the same focus, drive and intention into something useful that he puts into convincing us all he's doomed, he'd actually be wealthy and successful in a short space of time. No-one can say he lacks focus or persistence..... He has everything that makes successful people what they are, he just channels it into failure. Odd isn't it? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 Ah. You live your life based on speculation rather than fact. I see. Yeah. It's probably best to just be alone. So, there's women with options out there that would give a 30 year old with no relationship experience a chance? Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 The irony of this and every NJ thread is, if he put the same focus, drive and intention into something useful that he puts into convincing us all he's doomed, he'd actually be wealthy and successful in a short space of time. No-one can say he lacks focus or persistence..... He has everything that makes successful people what they are, he just channels it into failure. Odd isn't it? It's just difficult to be positive sometimes after the life I've lived so far. I just feel like I've been robbed of a life so far due to all the things I face. Many women & people in general will look at me weird about me never having a relationship. You think the people I work with for instance would think that's normal? They would all be judging me in their mind if they knew. A few weeks ago when I hung out with a few old friends I haven't seen in a few years, the one asked how my love life was & I had to lie to not be embarrassed about saying I was with someone a few years ago but nothing since to just change the subject. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Damn dude, you have what seems like depression. I've never met anyone so hell-bent on convincing the world that life isn't fair and that he's hopeless. Look around you, most people aren't walking on sunshine, but they're still living life the best the can. So at worst you can't score a hot girl. What are you going to curl up into ball and hibernate? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 So, there's women with options out there that would give a 30 year old with no relationship experience a chance? Absolutely. Believe it or not, some women are actually decent people. Of course, you should put your best foot foward. But, there are many women willing to work with a man who may be lacking in certain areas. No relationship experience may not even be a negative for some women. Don't speculate and count yourself out before giving them a chance to make up their own minds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 I say throw a little BS around. Keyword - little, not turn into a pathological liar. But it's okay to exaggerate a little. You don't have to come out and say you have no experience. Fake it till you make it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 Absolutely. Believe it or not, some women are actually decent people. Of course, you should put your best foot foward. But, there are many women willing to work with a man who may be lacking in certain areas. No relationship experience may not even be a negative for some women. Don't speculate and count yourself out before giving them a chance to make up their own minds. True, I've just been in a bad mood again for a lot of today thinking about these things. It's my inexperience making me feel this way I guess since I just feel I've been missing out on something that comes so natural to so many others. I just wish I could experience it myself but I don't want to force it where I wind up with the wrong person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 I say throw a little BS around. Keyword - little, not turn into a pathological liar. But it's okay to exaggerate a little. You don't have to come out and say you have no experience. Fake it till you make it So what should I say exactly when the time comes? That I just haven't met the right person yet? Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 So what should I say exactly when the time comes? That I just haven't met the right person yet? I dated a couple girls, but nothing got serious, I just didn't feel a deep connection. I'm not like the type of guy who would date someone just cause they were cute..........blah blah blah That's actually true for me, but you get the point. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Since you have no idea whether the women to whom you're not attracted will choose you, planning to stay single is your safer bet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NJ123 Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 I dated a couple girls, but nothing got serious, I just didn't feel a deep connection. I'm not like the type of guy who would date someone just cause they were cute..........blah blah blah That's actually true for me, but you get the point. I just hate that feeling of having to lie though even if it's not that big of a lie. It would bother me if I wind up really liking her than knowing I lied to her right at the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 "It ain't what you got, but how you use it. It ain't what you say, but how say it. It aint what you do, but how you do it." I think attraction starts with positive expectation. I'm absolutely certain I can go out any day of the week and find a woman to talk to. Every single day. I know most won't be interested, won't like me, have a boyfriend/husband or whatever. However, if I'm interesting and treat them well eventually one will be interested in getting to know me better. I'm 100% sure of that. Rock solid confidence and not getting hurt or putting yourself down because of the ones that don't work out shines through. Not being desperate or needy. I believe women can sense that. And they tend to relax and feel more confident ... with a guy who is relaxed and confident. It's not really what you say or where you are in life that's important. It's HOW you are. How you make them feel. How you feel about yourself. How you make them feel about being with you. It's hard to explain to a guy who hasn't experienced it, but being confident, playful, and positive goes a long way. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 I would definitely stay single for the rest of my life over settling for just any woman. That is why I am not currently dating. Even if I was ready, I would still be single because none of the women around me is worth the time and effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 (edited) I haven't read the whole thread, so I don't know if anyone else has pointed this out: You are NOT 30 years without a relationship. You are not three decades single. Given that most people start dating between the ages of 15-20, you are at worst 10-15 years single. For your statement to be true, we would be in a culture where it's abnormal for a 10 year old to have never had a relationship. I understand that you are hurting. And I understand that you wish things were different. And I do feel for you. But if you're going to complain, at least be accurate. Edited October 19, 2016 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Which would you choose? I feel at this point these are my 2 choices. Which option is better? I would choose to remain single if presented with the two options you outlined. Settling which is what I believe a vast majority of people do is not for me. To settle down with someone is to accept mediocrity and that's not for me. I've been single for eight years and never once have I felt like I was missing out by never having another relationship. Never once felt lonely or felt the need to have companionship. I'm quite happy with my life, I work, I study and that is far more important than wasting my time with women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TheParadox7 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 I would rather be single. Settling sounds so depressing, especially if it's for somebody one isn't attracted to. I have been single for more than two years, and even though I feel slightly lonely at times, I'm very happy otherwise. I'm an introvert, so I treasure a good deal of alone time, whether I'm in a relationship or not. Link to post Share on other sites
l8estnews Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Singlehood is overrated. Yes, emotional dependency/anchor has its perks but sometimes, the drama that ensues isn't worth it compared to the freedom being single offers. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishfingersareyummy Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Singlehood is overrated. I beg to differ. Link to post Share on other sites
HillValley Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 (edited) Positivity is only out of many basic requirements needed for a good relationship. Than there's the whole mutual attraction thing among other different things. I just can't stand the fact I've went 30 years without a relationship. It's pretty much destroyed me & I'm so far behind the curve of almost everyone else. It's either settle for someone or stay alone. I don't have any other option at this rate. Settle for someone is an interesting phrase. It means you do believe(or have) attracted women's attentions for a possible relationship? There's a huge difference between no woman has ever given me a second look vs I don't connect with any women I'm interested in. Edited October 19, 2016 by HillValley 2 Link to post Share on other sites
olivetree Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 You write well, so you're intelligent enough. You say you're a 7 out of 10 in the looks department. The only thing standing in your way is you. Get an attitude adjustment and the rest will follow. I wouldn't lie about my past either, btw. I liked your suggestion about saying you've not met the right person. It's true! Link to post Share on other sites
doyathinkso Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 (edited) [] Just chill and go on and live your life. One day you'll look up and holey-moley there she'll be. The good ones are worth waiting for. Edited October 19, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Wow, are these the only two options? Geesh, I know that we can't find a 100% match and there's compromise, deal breakers, etc...but to be limited to single or someone who I just cannot stand is a bit discouraging, no? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 Which would you choose? I feel at this point these are my 2 choices. Which option is better? To present a different point of view. Think of arranged marriages. Many of them report to have grown to love each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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