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Husband is away on business, and I am lonely.


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The Trump thread has lost me now.

 

time to get with the program " as sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives":laugh:

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I see. You know, we occasionally go out to parties or bars or restaurants with 20-and-30somethings, and usually the first thing that comes up is EB's accent, then where he's from, then why he's in the States, then how we found each other, then how long we've been married. The whole story is told in just a few sentences. "I'm British. The north of England. This is my wife, RomanticBride. I came here to marry her. Yeah, we met online. Nearly 5 years."

 

Now, surely these partygoers can infer that I'm in my early 20's, as I look my age. Usually one of us mentions I was married at age 18. As a matter of fact, my very first speech of the semester, which I am delivering this Thursday, will be a personal introduction talking about the trials and tribulations and legal hoops my darling and I have had to face, and how it strengthened us. My professor and my entire class of 30-40 people now know that I, at 18, married a 28-year-old. Nobody's ever run screaming into the streets crying for someone to call the police. Nobody in polite society has said an ill thing about us or the relationship since we've been married, or even given us sidelong glances. I really do think you, collectively, are quite possibly overstating the "creepy" factor in all of this, and while I do naturally have a tendency to worry that he may leave me for someone younger, prettier, and/or more mentally stable, I really doubt hearing strangers confirming these worries as valid is helping me keep a level head. Just saying.

 

sorry, but that is either bull, or you are only seeing what you want to see.

 

I suggest you look up USA Visa regulations, as again, your story is off. He would have had to show that he was capable of financially supporting himslef or that you can support him.

 

"You may present evidence that you are able to financially support yourself or that your U.S. citizen fiancé(e) is able to provide support. The Consular Officer may request that a Form I-134, Affidavit of Support be submitted by the U.S. citizen fiancé(e).'

 

( source- US state department)

 

A 16 year old ( or even an 18 year old) student woudl not qualify for this, and I highly doubt your then fiance would have either. The moral turpitude clause alone would likely have made him ineligible. So, unless your parents sponsored his visa ( icky) something isn't adding up.- fwiw...you couldn't act as his sponsor if you were 18, had no job, etc. I have a friend in the state department, and out of curiosity, I asked her if your scenario was legal. She laughed and said "no", and the only way in which he could get a visa would be if he had a sponsor willing to attest to his ability to financially acre for himself and to agree to support him should he not find work or lose his job. An 18 year old with no job can't act as a spousal sponsor.

 

 

.I suggest you read this:

"

Grooming is a method of building trust with a child and adults around the child in an effort to gain access to and time alone with her/him. However, in extreme cases, offenders may use threats and physical force to sexually assault or abuse a child. More common, though, are subtle approaches designed to build relationships with families. The offender may assume a caring role, befriend the child, or even exploit their position of trust and authority to groom the child and/or the child’s family. These individuals intentionally build relationships with the adults around a child or seek out a child who may have fewer adults in her/his life. This increases the likelihood that the offender’s time with the child is welcomed and encouraged.

The purpose of grooming is:

 

  • To reduce the likelihood of a disclosure.
  • To reduce the likelihood of the child being believed.
  • To reduce the likelihood of being detected.
  • To manipulate the perceptions of other adults around the child.
  • To manipulate the child into becoming a cooperating participant which reduces the likelihood of a disclosure and increases the likelihood that the child will repeatedly return to the offender.

 

( source US department of Justice, Virtual Global Taskforce preventing child exploitation)

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My guess is they filed the K-1 right after she turned 18, and her parents sponsored him financially. I don't see what is unbelievable about that, really. There are 50 year old men bringing over 18 year old girls from the Phillippines to marry on K-1s, for example. They are mostly concerned with whether the relationship is legitimate or not.

 

What's unbelievable about the situation to me is that her parents condoned all this, paid for it all (I'm guessing), got the guy a job, and did it on a K-1, which required her to marry him within 90 days. So, not only was she only 18 years old when all this happened, but she had barely spent any time with him in person before she married him. Given her admitted physical and mental problems, it all seems like an incredibly strange story.

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The K-1 visa is predicated upon the marriage laws of the state in which the US citizen is domiciled. Some states permit marriage at 16 with parental consent. But one of the requirements for receiving the visa is proving that the alien had contact (in-person) with the US citizen within two years prior to filing for the visa. I don't want to be disrespectful but draw the conclusion.

Edited by OneLov
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RomanticBride
My guess is they filed the K-1 right after she turned 18, and her parents sponsored him financially. I don't see what is unbelievable about that, really. There are 50 year old men bringing over 18 year old girls from the Phillippines to marry on K-1s, for example. They are mostly concerned with whether the relationship is legitimate or not.

 

What's unbelievable about the situation to me is that her parents condoned all this, paid for it all (I'm guessing), got the guy a job, and did it on a K-1, which required her to marry him within 90 days. So, not only was she only 18 years old when all this happened, but she had barely spent any time with him in person before she married him. Given her admitted physical and mental problems, it all seems like an incredibly strange story.

 

Ding ding ding ding ding, we have a winner!! He came over three times, once for my birthday, once for christmas, and once the following Spring. I then went to England to meet his parents, who adored me.

 

Now, I'm so sorry, but all of this Sherlockian prising into my life (though, I admittedly totally invited it) is making me just a smidge uncomfortable...

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RomanticBride
My guess is they filed the K-1 right after she turned 18, and her parents sponsored him financially. I don't see what is unbelievable about that, really. There are 50 year old men bringing over 18 year old girls from the Phillippines to marry on K-1s, for example. They are mostly concerned with whether the relationship is legitimate or not.

 

What's unbelievable about the situation to me is that her parents condoned all this, paid for it all (I'm guessing), got the guy a job, and did it on a K-1, which required her to marry him within 90 days. So, not only was she only 18 years old when all this happened, but she had barely spent any time with him in person before she married him. Given her admitted physical and mental problems, it all seems like an incredibly strange story.

 

Yep. That's what happened.

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