Author Skippy1988 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 So i'm waiting and waiting for her answer on Monday nothing, then Tuesday comes and nothing...I get a little upset for being blown off like that. She could've at least told me yes or no Did she apologize for that?You did nothing wrong. You want to apologize because you are feeling her slipping away and you are hurt. You want to pull her back in with an apology. Her ILY means nothing. People that love each other take actions to be together and to commit to each other. She loves your younger body and the way you make her feel. She does not love you as in 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' type of love. I genuinely feel bad not responding to a girl. I shouldn't have not responded R her, that makes it looks like I'm Playing a game or I'm upset. I was thinking about texting her something like " Hey I think you forgot to get back to me Tuesday, it's all good sexy although I think you deserve a spanking for that ????" Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 " Hey I think you forgot to get back to me Tuesday, it's all good sexy although I think you deserve a spanking for that ????" Sure, if you want her to continue using you for sex and you don't mind she pulls your chain when it's convenient to her only. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 So everyone agrees I shouldn't apologize? Isn't it not really being the bigger man how I didnt respond bc i was upset? Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 I wouldn't apologize but personally I'd put a dot at the end of the whole thing by bscly telling her you're no longer interested. "Good luck" and all that. It gives you the dignity out where she didn't have it and you can walk away w your chin up. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 Think about what she did, she never got back to you about hanging out on Tuesday and then acts like it never happened. And now you want to apologize for not responding to just one silly meaningless text... Don't do that, she actually owes you an apology. I think she has low interest but likes your attention. (Only when it suits her) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 21, 2016 Author Share Posted September 21, 2016 SO my friends with benefits and I have fallen for each other. We talked about this 4 months in and she alwsys said how we can't be together. Every time she'd send me a message along the lines of "I love youso much, our connection and chemistry is undeniable, but we can't be together right now, we're in different life stages "you still live at home for gods sake" and our age difference (she's 44, I'm 28). All in all she says how she "loves me to death and that we should just focus on the present moment we have with each other. Each time together is a gift". I have ALWAYS fought her on this with me usually saying soemthing along the lines of "It can work, love consurs all. Lets not plan anything if its meant to happen it will but don't plan on it ending" (she was the one always talking about "if its meant to be it'll be in the future). So the week of my Birthday (August 14th-August 21) she was more affectionate than ever before in our 8 month FWB "relationship". She got me some cards and wrote very touching things inside like "You'll always have my love. You have a great soul and a genuine heart, you have more in life to look forward to. I can't be there blocking you from all that. My love for you is forever, when and if we split we'll always have the amazing memories of each other." So all week (14th-21st) we were so affecti0nate with eachother, saying "I love you a lot" and each of us saying "Good morning" to eachother every monring. That next Monday (August 22nd) we got in a fight about a typo I made, it was a lot worse fight than it had to be. Ever since that moment i relaized a change in her, subtle at first but it was consisten, (me havingto text her to initiate convos, her not keeping me updated with her life like she always used to do. She slowly stopped sayng goodnight.) That Thursday (August 25th) we hung out and she seemed off. So after our hangout the next morning she says " a little space would prob be healthy right now, every time we hangout we get more and more entangled with each other". I took this offensively and claimed "you're jumping shipp the first chance you get (her work schedule changed and she was gonna have lots more free time) so i ignored her request. Asked her to hangout the next Monday and thats when she brought up that space was needed again, this time i took it great and understood. Every since then we haven't hung out and we barely texts, we only texts when she textes me once a day at most things like "hows it going sexy", very short convos. TL;DR: So my question is, is she backing away bc all of a sudden she realizes how attached she has become to me and knows it'll be impossible to leave me at her present feelings for me? She's trying to like Wean off of me? what does everyone think? I took her continued distance (havent seen her sicne August 25th) that she lost feelinsg for me, or lost teh spark for us or sometyhing I did ,even tho she assured me that it was nothing I did. I just need peace of mind Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted September 21, 2016 Share Posted September 21, 2016 She's backing off because you caught feelings and she knows she doesn't have any serious intentions with you. Seems like a good choice what with the age difference. and you living at home. That's not relationship material for most women who don't live at home as well, especially for 44 year old women who have probably not lived at home for a very long time. If you still want to be her FWB, I'd chill on the feelings talk. Although she might be done if its been a month already. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 (edited) So my FWb and I have been seeing each other for a while. She's 44, I'm 28. We fell in love and everything but she said how we can't be together i get it. We've had fights before tho about money, like I have ALWAYS went to her place bc I still live at home. And recently she has said "I have opened my home to you and I just want to change things up and start going to a hotel for a while (a while was not defined). We always are at my house and it's not fair to me I gotta clean up before you come over and since you don't have a place, the Drake will be your place". So now I have to spend $150 a night to hangout and **** her, when in the first place I got a FWB bc i wasn't looking for a GF and I am trying to save money for a place (she knows this). when she first talked about a Hotel, i said lets go to teh Westin (still very nice place but not nice enough for her apparently) so she picked the Drake hotel. TL;DR: Should I do what she wanst? Is she justified? If she truly loves me then why make such demands? Edited October 1, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language~T 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 I have a FWB who is mad we always have to go to her place to have fun. She upset I don't have my own place. Also, I drive an hour to see her. Does she not appreciate me or something or what? What girl wouldn't want this! She doesn't have to drive an hour to me TL;DR: Girls, do you get upset if you don't have to drive an hour and your BF comes to your place always to hangout? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I hate to be the one who breaks this to you, but she's not your 'fwb,' she's your girlfriend. "We fell in love and everything." "If she truly loves me." QED. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 I hate to be the one who breaks this to you, but she's not your 'fwb,' she's your girlfriend. "We fell in love and everything." QED. Take care. yeah but still, she says we can't date bc diff life stages and everything. Are you expected to spedn any money on a FWB like this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Women aren't a hive mind. Some like driving and hate hosting. Some hate driving and like hosting. Some like both and some hate both. None of these are constants and their feelings may change over time. With that being said, most of the women I dated more than 30 minutes away preferred to be the host since they disliked driving far, especially at night. Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Well it is a bit much for casual sex but if you really want to sleep with her, you have to play by her rules. She should chip in, too, though, its not like she isn't getting anything out of the experience. She's not a call girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 Hosting all of the time can become a burden, so I understand that part of her complaint. The Drake Hotel seems a bit much for a hookup though. If you're the one paying, you should be deciding the hotel. If she is contributing, then she gets input. You have to decide whether or not to accept her terms. Personally, I wouldn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 Well it is a bit much for casual sex but if you really want to sleep with her, you have to play by her rules. She should chip in, too, though, its not like she isn't getting anything out of the experience. She's not a call girl. Yeah she doesn't chip in. And before she has said "with a normal GF you would've needed your own place" and then she went into this math "we see each other 4 times a month (1 night at a nice hotel at least $100) and we've been seeing each other for 8 months so 4X100=$400 a month times 8 months, $3,200 i've saved you". She also at one time compared me to seeing her to seeing a prostitute and compaing how much I'm saving 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 Hosting all of the time can become a burden, so I understand that part of her complaint. The Drake Hotel seems a bit much for a hookup though. If you're the one paying, you should be deciding the hotel. If she is contributing, then she gets input. You have to decide whether or not to accept her terms. Personally, I wouldn't. Burden? I'm driving over an hour to get to her, before she used to tell me how appreciative she was of me driving down and all. Oh and the hotel we meet at is only 20 mins away from her place (20 mins closer to me) so its not liek shes completely driving out to me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 If it really is just sex that you want, it can be easier and cheaper than this. (I'm shocked that I said that.) 4 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I'd rather spend the $150 on dinner and then go back to her place. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 I'd rather spend the $150 on dinner and then go back to her place. She won't let me take her out to eat (Too dating like). I just get this weird idea that she think's I'm cheap. She has also got mad at me for, trying to get my moneys worth from the hotel (I said "if we go your going swimming with me and we're taking a shower together then:p") 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 My take on this relationship is this: You are 'in love' with her. She isn't in love with you. You've bought into being her 'fwb,' because you feel you have no other option. Because you are 'in love' with her, she knows that she can gets her own way with minimal protest from you. You're being exploited and taken advantage of. She wants you to pay for the privilege of being her gigolo. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 My take on this relationship is this: You are 'in love' with her. She isn't in love with you. You've bought into being her 'fwb,' because you feel you have no other option. Because you are 'in love' with her, she knows that she can gets her own way with minimal protest from you. You're being exploited and taken advantage of. She wants you to pay for the privilege of being her gigolo. Take care. I appreciate all your advice honestly thank you. I feel she's taking advantage of me too in a way 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JewelD Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I appreciate all your advice honestly thank you. I feel she's taking advantage of me too in a way You're an adult, you have the option of walking away. If it's just sex, you can get it elsewhere. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 I'd look at this like a business deal and you two are negotiating terms. Determine what terms are acceptable to you and then start negotiating with her. If you can't come to an understanding, you should walk away. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 25, 2016 Author Share Posted September 25, 2016 So the general thinking in this group is that she's being unreasonable? correct? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted September 25, 2016 Share Posted September 25, 2016 So the general thinking in this group is that she's being unreasonable? correct?I won't speak for the others, but yes, she seems unreasonable to me. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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