ExpatInItaly Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 She wants a casual arrangement. She saw you were getting more involved, and dialed back the intensity. But she still likes the idea of sleeping with you, hence why she's keeping you around for now. Are you hoping this eventually turns into more? Because it doesn't seem it will. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
leogirl876 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 I just feel like she legitimately needs space and is planing on coming back, why else would she be checking in on me when she said she wanted space? She probably felt like you were smothering her and as soon as you gave her some space, she felt free and comfortable to come back to you. Just keep giving her the space. Smothering clingy guys are the biggest turn off for women. Women like to feel like they are choosing to come to you, not you forcing them. Give her the space and she'll come back around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
biker23 Posted September 2, 2016 Share Posted September 2, 2016 Let her contact you. But honestly I'd prepare for it to end. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 She wants a casual arrangement. She saw you were getting more involved, and dialed back the intensity. But she still likes the idea of sleeping with you, hence why she's keeping you around for now. Are you hoping this eventually turns into more? Because it doesn't seem it will. We are both too involved. She left Thursday (8/25) and kissed me and said "love you" when she left. That's our relationship we love each other but it can't work. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 We are both too involved. She left Thursday (8/25) and kissed me and said "love you" when she left. That's our relationship we love each other but it can't work. In that case, I don't see the problem if she wants space. It's not a relationship so this is as far as it's going to go. Sooner or later one of you will meet someone else who is better suited for you. This is why she doesn't want to get too attached, and doesn't want you getting too attached either. It will, at some point, end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 This is just a FWB...a convenient sex partner until you meet someone that you want a relationship with. *it's temporary* You are treating it like it's a relationship so she backed off....she doesn't want this dynamic. She knows this isn't going beyond what it is. Maybe she feels it's time for a change and meet someone that is in her mature age group, set in his career, at the same place in life as she is, etc. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 In that case, I don't see the problem if she wants space. It's not a relationship so this is as far as it's going to go. Sooner or later one of you will meet someone else who is better suited for you. This is why she doesn't want to get too attached, and doesn't want you getting too attached either. It will, at some point, end. I know it's s very weird situation, she even said it herself "what we have, it's rare to find" our chemistry and everything. I don't think she's throw that all away bc of a few days of being clingy. Hell the week of my birthday, we were texting each other "good morning" everyday , it was half and half as who did it first.and we told each other we love each other so much that Week and we texted so much that week it was awesome , she was more flirt and loving than ever that week. My birthday was Sunday August 14th, that amazing week of texting ended that Monday August 22nd bc we got in an argument. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 She probably felt like you were smothering her and as soon as you gave her some space, she felt free and comfortable to come back to you. Just keep giving her the space. Smothering clingy guys are the biggest turn off for women. Women like to feel like they are choosing to come to you, not you forcing them. Give her the space and she'll come back around. I agree but she hasn't come back fully yet, Just sent me "how's your day" one day and yesterday late (goes to bed at 11, sent me a message of "hope you're doing ok sexy" at 10:45" so she's thinking about me before she goes to bed which I know o always a good sign. But that's all She has texted me thus far, those 2 text messages Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 I know it's s very weird situation, she even said it herself "what we have, it's rare to find" our chemistry and everything. I don't think she's throw that all away bc of a few days of being clingy. Hell the week of my birthday, we were texting each other "good morning" everyday , it was half and half as who did it first.and we told each other we love each other so much that Week and we texted so much that week it was awesome , she was more flirt and loving than ever that week. My birthday was Sunday August 14th, that amazing week of texting ended that Monday August 22nd bc we got in an argument. Yes, I understand. But it still doesn't change the fact that it's not a relationship. What was the argument about? Link to post Share on other sites
ThorntonMelon Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 We love each other and both don't want it to end. a little space would be good for now. Every time we hangout we get more entangled with each other. I don't need it Am I the only one a hair confused here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 Am I the only one a hair confused here? Wow you just made a point, a very good one haha. Yeah she doesn't need the space, she said she thinks it's necessary and healthy, that's what she said Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 Okay she just texted me "I can tell by your responses they are pompous and not genuine so I won't bother to text anymore" She's upset set= she cares I don't know what she's talking about tho Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 Okay she just texted me "I can tell by your responses they are pompous and not genuine so I won't bother to text anymore" She's upset set= she cares I don't know what she's talking about tho Or, she could be looking for an exit that she can pin on you. What do you want from this arrangement, OP? That's a sincere question. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 3, 2016 Author Share Posted September 3, 2016 No I know her, she gets this way when she feels I don't care. I just want to keep hanging out with her till after Christmas actually. I want to enjoy the next 4 months with her at least then we can play it by ear. I always say to her "maybe we won't have to split, maybe eventually we'll break apart naturally", Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted September 3, 2016 Share Posted September 3, 2016 She's pulling away because she doesn't see a future with you due to the age gap. She doesn't want to get too involved emotionally and have you dump her for a younger woman. There's 16 years between you ..... either let her know you were giving her the space she asked for hence the short replies or don't bother responding. If you planned to end it after 4 months anyway, it's no big loss. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Share Posted September 6, 2016 She's pulling away because she doesn't see a future with you due to the age gap. She doesn't want to get too involved emotionally and have you dump her for a younger woman. There's 16 years between you ..... either let her know you were giving her the space she asked for hence the short replies or don't bother responding. If you planned to end it after 4 months anyway, it's no big loss. I did say that and she understood, then proceeded to ask me how work was, my family and dog were (good signs) that all happened Saturday morning then she texted me Monday morning with "Good morning Hotness (kiss emoji) how was your weekend? whatd you do?....I didn't do anything because I worked. DO you have the Holiday off or do you have to work?" I was overwelmed by all the questions lol but another good thing Then at 2am that night (if anyone can explain this), she texts me " I love you sexy don't forget that" - What does she mean by this text? I almost think its bad because I think of it as its like shes saying "I love you dont forget...even after we're seperated I'll still love you" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Share Posted September 6, 2016 Or, she could be looking for an exit that she can pin on you. What do you want from this arrangement, OP? That's a sincere question. She wasn't based on what she said and how we talked. I'm just confused by her and what she means when she says " I love you sexy, don't forget that" at 2am Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 6, 2016 Share Posted September 6, 2016 She wasn't based on what she said and how we talked. I'm just confused by her and what she means when she says " I love you sexy, don't forget that" at 2am Why not just ask her? Tell her it's confusing when she says things like that, and then wants to put space between you two. We could try to interpret what she means, but only she can really tell you what's happening in her head. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 6, 2016 Author Share Posted September 6, 2016 Why not just ask her? Tell her it's confusing when she says things like that, and then wants to put space between you two. We could try to interpret what she means, but only she can really tell you what's happening in her head. I feel like after reading a lot about space, it can be a healthy thing for 2 healthy people, so I would understand the space. I just don't know how to take the "I love you, dont forget that", its like she means its cause we're over or she means it like, I'm not going anywhere I love you don't forget" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 I've been in a loving FWB situations with this older girl and I love her! She has said the same. August 22nd was when she started acting different. Last time I saw her was August 25th (she seemed off, first time in person). She told me the following Monday (29th) she thought space was necesarry because as she said "everytime we hangout we get more and more entangled. I just want you to see that we can't be together. I want you to push me aside and live your life for now, we can still hangout". At the time she said this i freaked out and we argued a little. Fast forward a week she said she needs space to just be alone (August 29th). whole week went by with her texting me minimally. (I never initiated bc she wanted space). On September 8th I asked her how she felt, she replied "the same". Then she said "we can hangout, I just want it to be light". On Sunday (9/I) ask her if she can hangout Tuesday. she replies exactly ":p let me see sexy I have plans Wed night my girlfriend has a gallery and she is having a show ad asked me to go so I'm trying to figure out if I need to switch with the boys dad for Tuesday....Can I let you know?" So i'm waiting and waiting for her answer on Monday nothing, then Tuesday comes and nothing...I get a little upset for being blown off like that. She could've at least told me yes or no. So she texts me Wed ":p" (its a thing we do, we start convo's like this at times) only and I respond the same. She says nothing after that (she sent this message at 7pm). Thursday comes, she sends me the same ":p" message at 10:37pm, I just don't respond. Was this a bad move? I felt like she was texting me just for attention and just to see if I was controlled by her so I thought a no response would be good. It's Saturday morning now and haven't received another text from her yet Any thoughts on this? Should I text her at all? Maybe saying " sorry for not responding the other day I just don't appreciate being blown off and disrespected" TL;DR: In this situation was ignoring her a good idea Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 You are in love with her and she doesn't want a relationship with you. She then proceeded in putting space between you 2 and by lacking basic consideration for your time. No she did not deserve a reply. There is nothing there for you. You better bite the bullet and make a clean break. Block and delete. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 You are in love with her and she doesn't want a relationship with you. She then proceeded in putting space between you 2 and by lacking basic consideration for your time. No she did not deserve a reply. There is nothing there for you. You better bite the bullet and make a clean break. Block and delete. She always did say "I love you but we can't be together now...maybe the futire but not now". I would always feel rejected inside even tho I know she loves me (or loved me) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skippy1988 Posted September 17, 2016 Author Share Posted September 17, 2016 You are in love with her and she doesn't want a relationship with you. She then proceeded in putting space between you 2 and by lacking basic consideration for your time. No she did not deserve a reply. There is nothing there for you. You better bite the bullet and make a clean break. Block and delete. Also; so you deff don't think I should apologize to her? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 Also; so you deff don't think I should apologize to her? So i'm waiting and waiting for her answer on Monday nothing, then Tuesday comes and nothing...I get a little upset for being blown off like that. She could've at least told me yes or no Did she apologize for that?You did nothing wrong. You want to apologize because you are feeling her slipping away and you are hurt. You want to pull her back in with an apology. Her ILY means nothing. People that love each other take actions to be together and to commit to each other. She loves your younger body and the way you make her feel. She does not love you as in 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' type of love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stercrazy Posted September 17, 2016 Share Posted September 17, 2016 Apologize for what? She wants space and you gave it to her. You owe her nothing. Bottom line is you're more into her then she is to you. YOU decide the value of the relationship with her for you. If it has little value due to her lack of investment then it is time to cut bait and move on. If her lack of investment is ok for you then continue. Link to post Share on other sites
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