"Looking for a professional"

[MissBee]

I was just kidding. That is what I thought when I read the title of the thread, but not the thread itself

 

Ohh okay cause I was like...I mean...that is one interpretation but I'm gonna have to guess it's the wrong one.

[Humperdinck]

Ohh okay cause I was like...I mean...that is one interpretation but I'm gonna have to guess it's the wrong one.

 

Well at least it made you emoji-laugh

[Shining One]

I don't think on a dating profile one needs to get any more specific than "professional." From this thread alone it seems like a fair amount of people get what it means. It also may be a dog whistle thing, where if you don't know what it means or think it's vague or aren't sure it's you, it probably means you're not it.

I phrased it poorly and should not have used vague. Professional covers a very wide spectrum. In reality, I imagine the woman in question is not willing to date anyone that falls under the professional umbrella. I believe she is looking for specific professions. This is all assumption on my part, but I don't believe, for example, that there are many professional female lawyers making over $200K looking to date professional male school teachers making less than $40K.

[LookAtThisPOst]

. I mean...why? I found that so frustrating when I was OLDing.

 

Right...in the past I had been very discerning at reading the profiles, to see if I was a match. Sometimes I'd come across profiles where I thought we were uncannily matched in a lot of things, but no response.

 

After that, I was like, "Meh, screw it...I'll email this lady attorney, and see what happens."

 

lol

 

I have even contacted 40-something waitresses in my small city, still no response.

[elaine567]

This is all assumption on my part, but I don't believe, for example, that there are many professional female lawyers making over $200K looking to date professional male school teachers making less than $40K.

 

I think that may be an assumption, because it is not really about earning potential, though that may come into it, it is about finding people with similar background, similar education, similar experiences, similar attitudes and similar opinions and that is really what is sought.

So my guess is she would be happier with a out of work school teacher, than somebody who earns big bucks but who is not a "professional".

I think it is more of a class issue than anything else.

[Shining One]

I think that may be an assumption, because it is not really about earning potential, though that may come into it, it is about finding people with similar background, similar education, similar experiences, similar attitudes and similar opinions and that is really what is sought.

So my guess is she would be happier with a out of work school teacher, than somebody who earns big bucks but who is not a "professional".

I think it is more of a class issue than anything else.

According to the article linked earlier in the thread, earning potential is a factor for women.

High-earning women (doctors, lawyers) tend to pair up with their economic equals, while middle- and lower-tier women often marry up. In other words, female CEOs tend to marry other CEOs; male CEOs are OK marrying their secretaries.

[elaine567]

According to the article linked earlier in the thread, earning potential is a factor for women.

 

Of course it is a factor "for women" in general.

The reason professionals date other professionals is due to level of education, class, and a similar mindset, earning capacity is somewhat assumed.

[Els]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with specifying your preferences. Using vague terms that are very open to interpretation is not ideal though. I would say it's similar to saying "I work in IT". That could be a tech support specialist making ~$15 an hour, a CIO making millions a year, or many different things in between.

 

Interestingly, no programmer I've ever known calls themselves a 'professional', regardless of what they make. I don't think even Zuckerberg does.

[Shining One]

Interestingly, no programmer I've ever known calls themselves a 'professional', regardless of what they make. I don't think even Zuckerberg does.

According to many of the definitions in this thread, many IT workers are not professionals. Our field relies more on certifications and skillsets rather than higher education. Zuckerberg is a college dropout, so he's not a professional.

[LookAtThisPOst]

According to many of the definitions in this thread, many IT workers are not professionals. Our field relies more on certifications and skillsets rather than higher education. Zuckerberg is a college dropout, so he's not a professional.

 

I beg to differ and DO consider IT / Network Admins professionals.

 

You see, that goes to show how people define "professionals". I've always thought of them as such.

 

Higher education is over rated by the way. People are in debt now more than ever because of it and hasn't contributed much to a hill of beans these days.

 

When I was in college, I saw tons of women taking a Psychology major because it was an easy A and allowed for less study time.

[elaine567]

I beg to differ and DO consider IT / Network Admins professionals.

 

You can think what you want, but IT work is not considered a "profession".

[LookAtThisPOst]

You can think what you want, but IT work is not considered a "profession".

 

Well, that's just YOUR opinion.

[BlueIris]

I beg to differ and DO consider IT / Network Admins professionals.

 

You see, that goes to show how people define "professionals". I've always thought of them as such.

 

Higher education is over rated by the way. People are in debt now more than ever because of it and hasn't contributed much to a hill of beans these days.

 

When I was in college, I saw tons of women taking a Psychology major because it was an easy A and allowed for less study time.

 

One of the main reasons that some people mention seeking a professional or mention higher education in their profiles is that they do want to find someone who values education in the same way they do- especially if you're looking for someone to have a family with.

 

I come from a family that valued just studying and learning regardless of whether it paid off financially. I met my kids' dad at a college that emphasized liberal arts and we took Medieval Intellectual History together. No financial payoff there! One of our kids ended up majoring in Medieval history when she went to her liberal arts college 25 years later!

 

I've gone on dates with men who thought that liberal arts and even going to college in general is a waste and stupid. How could we ever be a match? Is a guy who feels that way going to get excited about watching art or history documentaries with me and give opinions about them? Probably not.

Edited July 12, 2016 by BlueIris

[MightyPen]

One of the main reasons that some people mention seeking a professional or mention higher education in their profiles is that they do want to find someone who values education in the same way they do- especially if you're looking for someone to have a family with.

 

I come from a family that valued just studying and learning regardless of whether it paid off financially. I met my kids' dad at a college that emphasized liberal arts and we took Medieval Intellectual History together. No financial payoff there! One of our kids ended up majoring in Medieval history when she went to her liberal arts college 25 years later!

 

I've gone on dates with men who thought that liberal arts and even going to college in general is a waste and stupid. How could we ever be a match? Is a guy who feels that way going to get excited about watching art or history documentaries with me and give opinions about them? Probably not.

 

I was just going to type this so you saved me time. Thank you.

 

I agree that education has value outside of the way it can be monetized. So yes, I do think trade schools and career-oriented schools are good for some people, and they can teach valuable skills that can support a good living, but other folks value a well-rounded education, including knowledge and appreciation of history, art, literature, politics, science, etc. And yes you CAN obtain knowledge outside of a college setting, but I don't think there's any substitute for spending your young adult years with other young adults all learning and growing together. It shapes you as a person.

 

(and yes, you should avoid going into debt to do it)

[LookAtThisPOst]

One of the main reasons that some people mention seeking a professional or mention higher education in their profiles is that they do want to find someone who values education in the same way they do- especially if you're looking for someone to have a family with.

 

I come from a family that valued just studying and learning regardless of whether it paid off financially. I met my kids' dad at a college that emphasized liberal arts and we took Medieval Intellectual History together. No financial payoff there! One of our kids ended up majoring in Medieval history when she went to her liberal arts college 25 years later!

 

I've gone on dates with men who thought that liberal arts and even going to college in general is a waste and stupid. How could we ever be a match? Is a guy who feels that way going to get excited about watching art or history documentaries with me and give opinions about them? Probably not.

 

One can have interest in art and history without majoring in the subject.

[Els]

According to many of the definitions in this thread, many IT workers are not professionals. Our field relies more on certifications and skillsets rather than higher education. Zuckerberg is a college dropout, so he's not a professional.

 

Ah, and the dude is married to a female doctor.

[elaine567]

Well, that's just YOUR opinion.

 

No, not just MY opinion.

[carhill]

One can have interest in art and history without majoring in the subject.

Definitely, and a lot of us do, both on the creative side and analysis side. However, I get what's going on, and have for decades.

 

Basically, a college degree and a professional credential verify certain aspects about a person. That's why professionals tend to, or are required to, display those credentials publicly. Proof. People who advertise looking for professionals are looking for that proof, along with other stuff. The proof is apparently important to them. They want what they want and are not required to consider nor associate with those who don't meet their standards of proof. That's how life works.

[LookAtThisPOst]

No, not just MY opinion.

 

Okay it's just AN opinion.

 

Me, IT is a professional profession, to you it's blue collar. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

[BlueIris]

One can have interest in art and history without majoring in the subject.

 

Of course, and I did date a HS educated man who was interested in history. But he still thought that higher education is overrated and a waste, so I wouldn't have wanted to have kids with him. And while I'm not saying this is universal, he also resented my having gone to college and grad school, he made little digs about it on occasion and he thought I was showing off or competing with him when I'd want to talk about certain things- which I wasn't. I wasn't even saying I knew more about whatever-it-was than he did.

 

But back to OLD, sure, there are exceptions. But when you're in a big pool like OLD is, I preferred fly-fishing with very specific lures rather than casting a big net.

Edited July 12, 2016 by BlueIris

[LookAtThisPOst]

Of course, and I did date a HS educated man who was interested in history. But he still thought that higher education is overrated and a waste, so I wouldn't have wanted to have kids with him. And while I'm not saying this is universal, he also resented my having gone to college and grad school, he made little digs about it on occasion and he thought I was showing off or competing with him when I'd want to talk about certain things- which I wasn't. I wasn't even saying I knew more about whatever-it-was than he did.

 

But back to OLD, sure, there are exceptions. But when you're in a big pool like OLD is, I preferred fly-fishing with very specific lures rather than casting a big net.

 

I used to do specifics with the women I've emailed online, emailed them when I thought we matched perfectly, only to have no mutual interest . I knew these same women , had they met me in person, they'd go out with me.

 

So that's why men start to use it as a numbers game. Shot gun approach.

[thefooloftheyear]

So my guess is she would be happier with a out of work school teacher, than somebody who earns big bucks

 

Maybe for about two months...unless she has no options...

 

TFY

[MissBee]

One of the main reasons that some people mention seeking a professional or mention higher education in their profiles is that they do want to find someone who values education in the same way they do- especially if you're looking for someone to have a family with.

 

I come from a family that valued just studying and learning regardless of whether it paid off financially. I met my kids' dad at a college that emphasized liberal arts and we took Medieval Intellectual History together. No financial payoff there! One of our kids ended up majoring in Medieval history when she went to her liberal arts college 25 years later!

 

I've gone on dates with men who thought that liberal arts and even going to college in general is a waste and stupid. How could we ever be a match? Is a guy who feels that way going to get excited about watching art or history documentaries with me and give opinions about them? Probably not.

 

Ditto.

 

The minute a man says that... It's ears closed and check please for me, as we will likely have very little in common in terms of values.

 

I don't care to argue about the merits of higher education, so I stick to folks where we're on the same page. And again this is the reason for people being explicit about some of what they're looking for so they don't waste time with folks with incompatible views and values from jump.

[Shining One]

Interestingly enough, I used to have intellectual requirements with women I pursued. I wanted IQs over 130 and women who could discuss Nietzsche, classical antiquity, string theory, advanced propulsion theory, and various other random topics. Needless to say, I had trouble finding these women, even at the higher levels of education. I've just accepted that I can only discuss this topic with my closest friends (male) and the occasional random person who happens to have knowledge on one or more of those topics. My girlfriend will soon have her Masters, but we still won't be able to discuss most of these topics.

[elaine567]

Okay it's just AN opinion.

 

Me, IT is a professional profession, to you it's blue collar. We'll just have to agree to disagree.

I didn't say it is blue collar it is just NOT a profession.