"Looking for a professional"

[RecentChange]

To be honest, I know a lot of people who don't give a hoot about their professions not matching.

 

I know a married wife, that's a CPA, has her Masters in it. She has a husband that has a lawn service.

 

So there goes that theory.

 

One anecdote does not equate a trend.

 

How about this, instead of thinking of a couple that you heard about that met online or something, let's think about people we know.

 

Out of the attorneys I work with, a number are married to other attorneys. I can name a few attorney / engineer couples. Attorney / finace - investing, attorney/ professor.

 

A few attorney/ stay at home mom.

 

I know of no attorney + gardener couples. That is an outlier.

 

I am not sure what the Ponzi scheme life coach has to do with being a professional

[normal person]

To be honest, I know a lot of people who don't give a hoot about their professions not matching.

 

I know a married wife, that's a CPA, has her Masters in it. She has a husband that has a lawn service.

 

So there goes that theory.

 

Interesting evidence.

 

These people are pretty much non-relationship material, much less marriage material.

 

And I know professionals who are well adjusted, successful, high functioning members of society, who are happily married.

 

"So there goes that theory."

[losangelena]

I don't really get why it's such a big deal for someone to want to date others who are of a similar socioeconomic level.

 

I mean, it's like any other factor of compatibility. As recent threads on LS have shown, it's of extreme import that one's partner be physically attractive. I don't see how this is so different. Sure, some won't prioritize the other's profession, but some will. People are wont to partner up with those who they feel they're on level-footing with. Obviously, a woman can be saying that and mean, "you need to make a lot of money," or she could be saying that because she feels she'll be more compatible with someone who has a similar lifestyle.

 

I have friends who're in a ten-year dating relationship. She is a so-called "professional" who's worked at companies like Yahoo and the Onion. He's a part-time bartender who's trying to get his photography business off the ground. So yes, there is attraction and compatibility despite these career/lifestyle differences, but it's also one of their biggest sticking points as a couple.

 

Bottom line, I don't think it's weird or bad at all, when looking for someone to have a serious relationship with, to share a similar vision of what one's work life looks like.

[Shining One]

Professional is such a vague term. Using it in both the "what she does" and "what she's looking for" fields just adds to the confusion. The possibilities are endless. Do we have a:

• Receptionist looking for a lawyer?
  
• Lawyer looking for a receptionist?
  
• Receptionist looking for a receptionist?
  
• Lawyer looking for a lawyer?
  

People should be clear in who they are and what they are looking for.

[anna121]

20 years ago I had a lovely relationship which a chef. He was fantastic at what he did and I loved him dearly. But his lack of formal education/intellectual curiosity would not have worn well long-term.

 

Now, I would only date someone at roughly the same level of education and income.

[elaine567]

Professional is such a vague term. Using it in both the "what she does" and "what she's looking for" fields just adds to the confusion. The possibilities are endless. Do we have a:

• Receptionist looking for a lawyer?
  
• Lawyer looking for a receptionist?
  
• Receptionist looking for a receptionist?
  
• Lawyer looking for a lawyer?
  

People should be clear in who they are and what they are looking for.

 

A receptionist is not a professional.

[Shining One]

A receptionist is not a professional.

Receptionists fall under the category of Administrative Professionals. If you can point me to a universally accepted definition of "professional", I'm prepared to learn.

[elaine567]

Receptionists fall under the category of Administrative Professionals. If you can point me to a universally accepted definition of "professional", I'm prepared to learn.

 

OK, but there are also "professional" tradespeople too, but that is NOT really what is meant by anyone who is looking for a "professional".

 

The five traditional professions are

architecture,

clergy,

engineering,

law

medicine.

 

Law and medicine are traditionally considered to be the most elite of them.

 

But accountants, dentists, vets, actuaries, surveyors. economists... etc are also now considered as professions too.

[carhill]

Speaking of engineering...

 

When one is young (don't know the specifics of the OP's milieu) things can be pretty straightforward; when older, it gets a bit more murky? Why? People grow and change in life.

 

Recent example:

 

So, how's life going?

 

I'm loving retirement

Really, how do you fill the time?

 

Well, I built this house and the one you see over there and my wife and I travel

 

Wow, those are nice. Have you been a carpenter (the houses are beautiful and all wood inside and out) all your life?

 

No, I tried it out and liked it after retiring from my old job back in the 70's.

 

Oh, what was that?

 

Working on propulsion systems.

Really? You mean like rockets?

 

Yeah, it was fun doing that but things changed.

Any rockets we'd know about?

 

Yeah, maybe, the Titan II. I and some other guys designed the engines for that one and worked on some of the others in the Apollo program.

Really? Wow, that's fascinating.

 

Yeah, it was a lot of fun. You want to see the diagrams and notes I still have? They're kind of boring.

 

Sure!

 

I don't know if I want to keep them or throw them out or donate them. Museums have been asking me about them but I'm not sure what to do.

 

--------

 

So the plainly dressed old guy we were helping fix his RV in his driveway was a rocket engineer from the 1960's who worked for Aerojet on the Gemini program, then turned decidedly blue collar building houses later in life. If he were suddenly single he'd be the plainly dressed old guy who lives in a house he built. Could you have lengthy and detailed conversations with him about physics and engineering? Yeah, but most of what I've heard has gone right over my head and I majored in the latter in college. It's a whole different level. Is that a professional? IDK... Most of the stuff has been about traveling and fixing stuff, decidedly not professional. People have sides.

[alphamale]

I have seen this a lot in dating profiles, "Looking for a professional". Though this is a vague term is it not?

 

I mean, you could be a professional mechanic to a professional Wall Street tycoon, but in what context does "professional" actually mean.

 

Can this term be ignored and this person be contacted anyways, perhaps may people THINK they are professionals contacting others anyhow?

 

"professional" generally means a college graduate earning at least $50,000 per year

[MissBee]

Actually, let me clarify. I know many, but just named a couple that came to mind as an example.

 

That's hardly the point though.

 

The point is about what's the general trend isn't it? Everything on earth has outliers, whether you name 1 or 10, it still doesn't say anything about the general trend in the world outside of your circle.

 

For a better look, check out this chart by Bloomberg, based on a U.S. Census Bureau survey of 3.5 million households (this makes a worthy data set, not 1 or even 10 couples someone personally knows).

 

 

This Chart Shows Who Marries CEOs, Doctors, Chefs and Janitors

 

When it comes to falling in love, it’s not just fate that brings people together—sometimes it’s their jobs. We scanned data from the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2014 American Community Survey—which covers 3.5 million households—to find out how people are pairing up. Some of the matches seemed practical (the most common marriage is between grade-school teachers), and others had us questioning Cupid’s aim (why do female dancers have a thing for male welders?). High-earning women (doctors, lawyers) tend to pair up with their economic equals, while middle- and lower-tier women often marry up. In other words, female CEOs tend to marry other CEOs; male CEOs are OK marrying their secretaries.

 

It's a handy tool, as they have a large data set in the millions and you can type professions in and see which ones tend to marry within their occupation and when they marry outside of it the types of occupations outside they tend to marry.

Edited July 11, 2016 by MissBee

[amaysngrace]

I think it means prostitute.

[LookAtThisPOst]

OK, but there are also "professional" tradespeople too, but that is NOT really what is meant by anyone who is looking for a "professional".

 

The five traditional professions are

architecture,

clergy,

engineering,

law

medicine.

 

Law and medicine are traditionally considered to be the most elite of them.

 

But accountants, dentists, vets, actuaries, surveyors. economists... etc are also now considered as professions too.

 

How about school teachers? Care salespeople. Inventory specialists, daycare center out of her home (she owns the home) (4 kids only)?

 

I know an IT guy for a small company, he come to find out of a woman that recently became single. He told me he didn't bother that she was making boku bucks at some defense company.

 

And I was like "Dude, you're a Network Admin, is that not enough?" lol He was kind of defeatest about asking her out for that reason.

Edited July 11, 2016 by LookAtThisPOst

[LookAtThisPOst]

That's hardly the point though.

 

The point is about what's the general trend isn't it? Everything on earth has outliers, whether you name 1 or 10, it still doesn't say anything about the general trend in the world outside of your circle.

 

For a better look, check out this chart by Bloomberg, based on a U.S. Census Bureau survey of 3.5 million households (this makes a worthy data set, not 1 or even 10 couples someone personally knows).

 

 

 

It's a handy tool, as they have a large data set in the millions and you can type professions in and see which ones tend to marry within their occupation and when they marry outside of it the types of occupations outside they tend to marry.

 

Looks like Admin Assts. are the go-to ladies to date on there. Seems most of the men married them. lol

[elaine567]

How about school teachers? Care salespeople. Inventory specialists, daycare center out of her home (she owns the home) (4 kids only)?

 

I know an IT guy for a small company, he come to find out of a woman that recently became single. He told me he didn't bother that she was making boku bucks at some defense company.

 

And I was like "Dude, you're a Network Admin, is that not enough?" lol He was kind of defeatest about asking her out for that reason.

 

School teacher is a professional.

 

Car salespeople. Inventory specialists, daycare center out of her home (she owns the home) (4 kids only)?

no.

[normal person]

Whatever you want to call yourself is fine. People tend to gravitate towards other people with the same values and goals. If you value things like higher education, making a decent salary, challenging/thought provoking work, and are content with the ups and downs of the lifestyle, you're probably going to want to be with someone who shares those same values and goals.

 

If those are things you don't want, that's fine. Good for you. I don't see any need to come down on people with different aspirations than you. As if being a professional is somehow "bad."

[MissBee]

Whatever you want to call yourself is fine. People tend to gravitate towards other people with the same values and goals. If you value things like higher education, making a decent salary, challenging/thought provoking work, and are content with the ups and downs of the lifestyle, you're probably going to want to be with someone who shares those same values and goals.

 

If those are things you don't want, that's fine. Good for you. I don't see any need to come down on people with different aspirations than you. As if being a professional is somehow "bad."

 

Ditto.

 

I think that's also the point of putting your preferences out in the open, so that you don't waste your time or other people's time pursuing things that may not be a good fit from before it even gets out of the gate.

 

Profiles aren't there for you to argue with or negotiate around, it's so you can get a quick snapshot of your likelihood of being a match. If you see stuff you don't like, move on. If they have criteria you don't fit...move on. But to say hmmm maybe I should ignore their criteria and message anyway... I mean...why? I found that so frustrating when I was OLDing.

Edited July 11, 2016 by MissBee

[Weezy1973]

My loose definition is someone that graduated with a degree from university and is working in the field they went to school for.

 

More importantly though, is that it is a very valid preference, as it is very likely an important factor in overall compatibility for a lot of people.

 

 

And I'm not a professional.

[MissBee]

My loose definition is someone that graduated with a degree from university and is working in the field they went to school for.

 

More importantly though, is that it is a very valid preference, as it is very likely an important factor in overall compatibility for a lot of people.

 

 

And I'm not a professional.

 

To add to that definition, I think it may also be used to distinguish between having a job and a career. Careers are usually more so lifelong ambitions, you usually, as you mentioned, have to have some kind of degree, sometimes an advanced one for it, you usually get a salary, it usually comes with other status positions and takes a lot more out of you in terms of investment of time, brain power, personality etc and is usually something long term and where normally you start at a particular level and can advance significantly throughout your life. Jobs, on the other hand, are usually more short term, something one does to make money, it usually has a lower status attached, it usually requires less of an investment in terms of education, training, specialization, time, it's often not someone's lifelong goal and it's often wage-based versus salary-based, to name some differences.

 

Of course there are ways in which these two may overlap, but I think when someone says they are looking for a professional it often means the difference between someone with a career vs. a job as well, as the 2 tracks can make for very different life experiences, goals and values.

[Shining One]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with specifying your preferences. Using vague terms that are very open to interpretation is not ideal though. I would say it's similar to saying "I work in IT". That could be a tech support specialist making ~$15 an hour, a CIO making millions a year, or many different things in between.

[MissBee]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with specifying your preferences. Using vague terms that are very open to interpretation is not ideal though. I would say it's similar to saying "I work in IT". That could be a tech support specialist making ~$15 an hour, a CIO making millions a year, or many different things in between.

 

I don't think on a dating profile one needs to get any more specific than "professional." From this thread alone it seems like a fair amount of people get what it means. It also may be a dog whistle thing, where if you don't know what it means or think it's vague or aren't sure it's you, it probably means you're not it.

[Humperdinck]

I don't think on a dating profile one needs to get any more specific than "professional." From this thread alone it seems like a fair amount of people get what it means. It also may be a dog whistle thing, where if you don't know what it means or think it's vague or aren't sure it's you, it probably means you're not it.

 

I thought it was a euphemism for prostitute

[carhill]

Ha, yeah, and it could mean assassins too. However, since the OP posts as a male and reads female dating profiles, the people looking for professionals are women so it appears most responses are focused on men who work in certain careers. No doubt there are some women who seek out male prostitutes and I've actually seen a couple in action walking the shame walk with the LEO's but not likely here.

 

The career vs job delineation is an interesting one. That would include athletes, as one example, since they don't meet the typical criteria. It could also cover actors, singers, dancers, etc, since most are professionally educated and pursue their career throughout life. A couple guys who defined all three who come to mind, Gene Kelley and Fred Astaire, were definitely professionals in my book, but probably never had to concern themselves with stuff like dating. Heh.

[MissBee]

I thought it was a euphemism for prostitute

 

I think it's highly unlikely that a woman on a dating site saying she's interested in professionals means she's soliciting prostitutes .

[Humperdinck]

I think it's highly unlikely that a woman on a dating site saying she's interested in professionals means she's soliciting prostitutes....I think if that's ones interpretation, then something is off here .

 

I was just kidding. That is what I thought when I read the title of the thread, but not the thread itself