Poor and goodlooking

[so gutted]

I have met someone and feel like im being groomed.

 

He is very goodlooking bu not established.

 

He is tall, dark and handsome.

 

After meeting him twice i worked out that he earns one fifth of what i do,

 

I think he is being nice and acting interested because he is from another country (been here 10 years) and wants a better life.

 

I may be wrong.

 

I resent him for earning less,bad spelling (my guess is he enrolled at university just to get residency). I am embaressed that he has a job with uniform.

 

I dont want to live a life worse off,but again feel that maybe i am wrong?

 

He could be the one. He is the only interested one.

 

Is it wrong to doubt his motives?

[PegNosePete]

I wouldn't date someone who I resented, or who embarrassed me.

 

Why are you even thinking about this?

 

Next!

[MidwestUSA]

If you already resent him for his income, there's no need to question his motives.

 

Allow him to move on.

[PrettyEmily77]

I have met someone and feel like im being groomed.

 

Stopped reading there. Whatever comes next, this ^^^ would be enough to make my mind up.

[d0nnivain]

It doesn't seem like something you are inclined to get past any time soon. Let him go find somebody else.

[elaine567]

Your "gut" is telling you NO, listen to your "gut".

[so gutted]

It doesn't seem like something you are inclined to get past any time soon. Let him go find somebody else.

 

I feel like he will con someone else. He took me to a very cheap place on valentines day. Said it had nice food. I think this is his budget which makes me feel like i will end up supporting him.

[stillafool]

I feel like he will con someone else. He took me to a very cheap place on valentines day. Said it had nice food. I think this is his budget which makes me feel like i will end up supporting him.

 

 

If you feel this way don't get involved let him go. There are some women who wouldn't mind a cheap place for valentines day if that is all the guy could afford. They would think more about the thought. This bothers you so move on.

[d0nnivain]

so gutted

 

I don't see the con in here. I see a guy who doesn't have a lot of disposable income & a woman who is embarrassed by that.

 

You set a certain standard for yourself. He can't meet it.

 

I don't think it's a con. I think it's a matter of you being incompatible.

[AverageJoe1986]

So you're only interested in him because he's good looking and you resent him because he doesn't earn much money? Have you ever wondered why he's the only one who is interested?

[PegNosePete]

I feel like he will con someone else.

Even if it is true, you can't protect the world. What are you gonna do, call the police and say there's this guy who wanted to take me to a cheap place that has nice food for valentine's dinner?

[so gutted]

Even if it is true, you can't protect the world. What are you gonna do, call the police and say there's this guy who wanted to take me to a cheap place that has nice food for valentine's dinner?

 

No but he is using his looks to get an older women to help him settle into a better life. He needs to work hard for it like i did.

[so gutted]

So you're only interested in him because he's good looking and you resent him because he doesn't earn much money? Have you ever wondered why he's the only one who is interested?

 

I was interested because he was nice to me, but now im thinking its sucking up to me to get my assets.

[LoveRefreshed]

No but he is using his looks to get an older women to help him settle into a better life. He needs to work hard for it like i did.

 

you have seemed to misplace your sense of value.

 

All I see is someone complaining that they found a cute guy whose not good enough for her because he's not rich.

 

Find someone who is a good partner for you, not a rich cute guy.

[so gutted]

you have seemed to misplace your sense of value.

 

All I see is someone complaining that they found a cute guy whose not good enough for her because he's not rich.

 

Find someone who is a good partner for you, not a rich cute guy.

 

This is what i need to know. Can relationships where the guy earns so much less work?

[AverageJoe1986]

I was interested because he was nice to me, but now im thinking its sucking up to me to get my assets.

 

In which case you should have titled the thread 'poor and nice'.

 

Maybe it's not your financial assets he's after.

[Toodaloo]

No but he is using his looks to get an older women to help him settle into a better life. He needs to work hard for it like i did.

 

Urm...

 

How about you ditch this guy right now and just leave him be.

 

If he were after your money I am sure he could have conned you into paying for a meal by now...

 

Plenty of older good looking guys with money...

[AverageJoe1986]

This is what i need to know. Can relationships where the guy earns so much less work?

 

Not if the woman is someone who resents the fact.

[PrettyEmily77]

you have seemed to misplace your sense of value.

 

All I see is someone complaining that they found a cute guy whose not good enough for her because he's not rich.

 

Find someone who is a good partner for you, not a rich cute guy.

 

I haven't seen the OP complaining, nor have I read anything suggesting her values were wrong - surely if they were, she'd be going for him and his good looks in spite of her gut feeling?

[so gutted]

you have seemed to misplace your sense of value.

 

All I see is someone complaining that they found a cute guy whose not good enough for her because he's not rich.

 

Find someone who is a good partner for you, not a rich cute guy.

 

I haven't seen the OP complaining, nor have I read anything suggesting her values were wrong - surely if they were, she'd be going for him and his good looks in spite of her gut feeling?

 

Thanks - all i need is advice, do you think he is after my money?

[AverageJoe1986]

I haven't seen the OP complaining, nor have I read anything suggesting her values were wrong - surely if they were, she'd be going for him and his good looks in spite of her gut feeling?

 

To be fair, she resents his lack of financial clout, is embarrassed by his inability to spell, suspects he's a co-man and she's still considering him.

[Methodical]

Thanks - all i need is advice, do you think he is after my money?

 

Has he asked to borrow money? Or for you to pay a bill? Or co-sign a note?

[AverageJoe1986]

Thanks - all i need is advice, do you think he is after my money?

 

How can we possibly know? Are you yourself particularly attractive? Is there any reason to think it weird that he would be interested in you?

[d0nnivain]

This is what i need to know. Can relationships where the guy earns so much less work?

 

Yes they can in general. When DH & I first met, I earned substantially more then he does. That gap has closed somewhat but i still earn more. He just brings a steady paycheck to the mix whereas I might only get paid once or twice per year. So the two methods help with budgeting.

 

While the income/asset gap is not always fatal to romance it will be fatal to yours because you resent the fact that he earns less & you truly believe he's only sucking up to you for your money. Your attitude toward him is toxic to the relationship

 

The real reason I don't think he's the gold digger you is because he took you to an inexpensive place for Valentine's Day. If he was using you, he would have picked the most expensive place in town & stuck you with the check. Instead he picked the best place he could afford because in his opinion it had good food. He was trying to be gracious but you can't see that.

 

So please do him a favor & let him go. Take a picture before he goes because you only seem to care about his looks.

[PrettyEmily77]

Thanks - all i need is advice, do you think he is after my money?

 

All that matters is if you think he's after your money. If you think something's off, either it actually is or you've been burnt before and you need to work on that.