Jejangles Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 And I have now had as many messages in ten minutes with that on my profile as my actual profile had in six months. Yes, it really must have been the negative vibes I put out. I should have known that misogyny and arrogance is what I needed to succeed in OLD. Why do you still have a fake profile up? Ok, so you put it up to test what happened and yes, a hot photo gets more messages than a less attractive one. Um yeah, that's a no brainer. So now what's the point? I could put my profile up with a super hot photo and I could prove the same thing. But who cares? I'm well aware that a "hot" woman is going to get a higher volume of messages and a different type of man than me. So I can either work to get "hotter" myself or accept the type of guy I can attract, and date them! It seems online dating just isn't for you! Maybe your looks don't suit a more visual medium. So do more offline stuff! Go to some meet ups, go to a Match.com in person event, try speed dating, volunteer, take a course. All you are doing with this fake profile BS is confirming your negative bias, and whether you believe it or not, it shines through in your interactions with women. You can either go in circles being down on yourself and moping about why you aren't attracting who you want, or you can work on yourself to improve your chances. And if online dating is a bust for you - don't online date. There's other ways to meet people in this world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 All you are doing with this fake profile BS is confirming your negative bias, and whether you believe it or not, it shines through in your interactions with women. You can either go in circles being down on yourself and moping about why you aren't attracting who you want, or you can work on yourself to improve your chances. And if online dating is a bust for you - don't online date. There's other ways to meet people in this world. Ahhh, the vibes again. It's all about the vibes. Again, for the millionth time. I would OF COURSE expect the profile to do better than my own. What I wouldn't expect is for it to do better in 10 minutes with a message saying 'I don't value women but if you want to join the queue then do so' than my own did in six months. If you did expect that then you're kind of confirming my negative bias for me. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 There's other ways to meet people in this world. I just don't have the kind of spare time to meet people any other way at the moment. I will just remain single until I do. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 And what exactly is wrong with confirming that my negative conclusions were actually correct? Should I have just remained in ignorance pretending to myself that my profile must have been failing because a comma was out of place or because the combination of being 5'9 and liking to read automatically sets off a serial killer alarm in women? Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Anyway my thoughts on OLD are... - use the questions to find a person with the same VALUES as you - get to know them on message a bit first to confirm the above and establish some rapport - peoples true attractiveness (to you) can only be judged in real life, and behaviour influences it a lot, so dont rely on the photos too much - and for men, dont underestimate the power of humour, if you can get a woman to laugh you are halfway there! Been there, done that, bought the T-Shirt. I've been known to make women laugh, which is an attractive quality and they like it. But the just at the most like being my friend and nothing more. peoples true attractiveness (to you) can only be judged in real life, and behaviour influences it a lot, so dont rely on the photos too much If this could only work if applied and the women actually decided to RESPOND to your messages, then great. Getting it to the "real life" meet n greet is a challenge in itself. I can imagine most women are just thumbing through the pictures and glancing at the height parameters. Link to post Share on other sites
Jejangles Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 And what exactly is wrong with confirming that my negative conclusions were actually correct? Should I have just remained in ignorance pretending to myself that my profile must have been failing because a comma was out of place or because the combination of being 5'9 and liking to read automatically sets off a serial killer alarm in women? I don't know what to say, you seem determined to stay stuck where you are. If you don't actually have time to date right now, I would suggest you just focus on a happy life as a single person. And take the fake profile down - whatever you think you are achieving with it, you're not actually achieving. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I think this thread maybe needs a bit of positivity. So I'll share some of my OLD story. I met my SO about this time last year on OkCupid. I was recently divorced and this was my first foray into dating. Quite anxious about the process, but also very curious. I knocked up a profile, a pretty dull one tbh, and set about answering the questions. It felt like self discovery and eek I ended up answering over a thousand of them... One of my high percentile matches really intrigued me. No profile picture, instead a pic of one of my fave comedians. And a very humorous profile to go with it. He had answered a lot of questions too, and I read all his answers. The quantity and consistency confirmed to me we had the same values. We started chatting, and continued for over a month (mostly banter), until finally I suggested we meet. He played it very cool! And I had no idea what he looked like until we met. And he ended up being the only person I actually dated. Anyway my thoughts on OLD are... - use the questions to find a person with the same VALUES as you - get to know them on message a bit first to confirm the above and establish some rapport - peoples true attractiveness (to you) can only be judged in real life, and behaviour influences it a lot, so dont rely on the photos too much - and for men, dont underestimate the power of humour, if you can get a woman to laugh you are halfway there! So would you have talked to him on the site if his photo had been on there? Be honest. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I don't know what to say, you seem determined to stay stuck where you are. Yes in the real world, not pretending black is white. Is this really the only area in life where people actively want other people to be ignorant? I just don't get it. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I think I will quit the profile soon though. I think I'll get chatting to a bunch of ladies on there and then change the photos to a really ugly gurner. and see how long it takes people to cotton on. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 7 messages since I put that message up on my profile. All from women who have just viewed my profile. All variations of 'Hi There, how are you? :-)' Not looking good for this vibes theory. Oh those negative vibes. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 And I have now had as many messages in ten minutes with that on my profile as my actual profile had in six months. Yes, it really must have been the negative vibes I put out. I should have known that misogyny and arrogance is what I needed to succeed in OLD. Not really. It's because with this sentence: 'I have next to no respect for women. But if you want to get onto the conveyor belt of girls lining up to date me, drop me a message'. you've shown both humour and confidence. It's light and breezy and it gives the impression that you're not desperate. You would be better finding a way of applying that style of writing to your own profile than a fake one though, remember that you're playing with people's emotions by doing that. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Not really. It's because with this sentence: 'I have next to no respect for women. But if you want to get onto the conveyor belt of girls lining up to date me, drop me a message'. you've shown both humour and confidence. It's light and breezy and it gives the impression that you're not desperate. You would be better finding a way of applying that style of writing to your own profile than a fake one though, remember that you're playing with people's emotions by doing that. Hahahaha This is getting parodic now. I DID apply this sort of humour to my profile. OK, I'll prove it. I will write exactly the same thing on a profile with my photos on. If I get messages from it, I'll admit you were right. If I get NOTHING, will you admit I am right in this? Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Woman: Hi, are you having a good day James? Me: Did you read my profile? Woman: Yes, lovely profile. Me: Did you actually READ it? Woman: Yes, of course. Me: Go back and read it again. Woman: Hmmm, well that's not very encouraging is it? ;-) But yes, you're right. It's all about the vibes and those little things when you write a profile. Some people won't let reality in. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 It's up to you. Be right and single, or wrong and dating. Write it for whichever means more to you. Link to post Share on other sites
TheWoman Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 So would you have talked to him on the site if his photo had been on there? Be honest. I think so, I do obviously find him attractive. Although that was not what won me over in person. I really liked that he didnt have a photo though. Because I guess Im a bit like you. I think its all bull**** and superficial and I wanted to opt out of that. I could never do Tinder, it represents something i dont believe in. He didnt have a photo up btw because he is a high school teacher and didnt want any problems with students recognising him. Life has an odd way of delivering exactly what you are expecting, I think its called confirmation bias. That is what your fake profile is doing for you. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I think so, I do obviously find him attractive. QUOTE] Dah Dah Dah!! So you were successful because a man you find attractive messaged you. I don't really see how this changes anything I'm saying. But good luck to you. Glad it worked out for someone. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 It's up to you. Be right and single, or wrong and dating. Write it for whichever means more to you. How could I be wrong and dating? That makes no sense. Just because you believe what's obviously wrong will not suddenly make you more successful. Link to post Share on other sites
TheWoman Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 I think so, I do obviously find him attractive. QUOTE] Dah Dah Dah!! So you were successful because a man you find attractive messaged you. I don't really see how this changes anything I'm saying. But good luck to you. Glad it worked out for someone. Actually I messaged him first. Link to post Share on other sites
TheWoman Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Actually I messaged him first. Without knowing what he looked like. Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Without knowing what he looked like. Oh that's cool. But you still found him attractive when you met him. What would have happened if he looked like Danny DeVito. Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Oh that's cool. But you still found him attractive when you met him. What would have happened if he looked like Danny DeVito. Hey, what's wrong with Danny DeVito? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TheWoman Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Oh that's cool. But you still found him attractive when you met him. What would have happened if he looked like Danny DeVito. When we actually met a month later? Who knows, I expect Danny Devito is quite suave in person. My point is, you are a self fulfilling prophecy. Here's an idea. take down model guy and pop up a pic of Danny, see what happens. You might find you get a whole different genre of women. Or better still choose someone quirky who you think is cool, maybe there is a girl out there who thinks that is cool too. Play with it, have some fun. That is what everyone means when they talk about your vibe. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
AverageJoe1986 Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 When we actually met a month later? Who knows, I expect Danny Devito is quite suave in person. My point is, you are a self fulfilling prophecy. Here's an idea. take down model guy and pop up a pic of Danny, see what happens. You might find you get a whole different genre of women. Or better still choose someone quirky who you think is cool, maybe there is a girl out there who thinks that is cool too. Play with it, have some fun. That is what everyone means when they talk about your vibe. Oh god. Why bother. None of what you've just said is in anyway relevant. I did have fun with it. A lot of fun. I don't think you understand what I'm even saying here. Link to post Share on other sites
haikss Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 Yes, because after 'owning most of my own teeth' and 'free from VD for almost a year', desperation is right up there on what women really want... You got it wrong. Its not necessary to show desperation. I'm talking about dating sites. With "like" I mean pressing like button or something on a dating sites. Then from those who likes you back choose some. Link to post Share on other sites
TheArtist Posted January 27, 2016 Share Posted January 27, 2016 You got it wrong. Its not necessary to show desperation. I'm talking about dating sites. With "like" I mean pressing like button or something on a dating sites. Then from those who likes you back choose some. I'm only joking! It's English humour. It can be subtle at times. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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