katiegrl Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 Yeah, I will have to find that great piece I read recently about controlling your own destiny. It was very cool. I will post it if I find it. Of course, you still can teach people how to treat you but you are still in a position to do that by showing him the consequences of his actions. If you don't hear from him, you may be heading toward a decision like that all on your own. Yes, we teach people how to treat us and we also get to decide how their actions make us feel. We are in control of that. In all honesty, it's always disappointing when a person doesn't follow through or turn out to be the person we hoped they were. That said, you learn about yourself along the way and who the other person is--essential to move forward, good or bad. I don't know enough to comment on this particular guy and the situation doesn't seem particular favorable to him--but even great people in our lives f*ck up. Not everything is black and white. Very well said V. Totally agree. And in reading back....and trying to understand dobie's position .....I do think I was being a bit hard and perhaps unfair. Her response was fine actually ....indifferent even...depending on how one reads it. I see it now. What matters now is how she responds if and when he calls again...asking to spend time. Time will tell..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dobielover Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 Very well said V. Totally agree. And in reading back....and trying to understand dobie's position .....I do think I was being a bit hard and perhaps unfair. Her response was fine actually ....indifferent even...depending on how one reads it. I see it now. What matters now is how she responds if and when he calls again...asking to spend time. Time will tell..... Thank you for that. I don't think he will, in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 2, 2016 Share Posted January 2, 2016 (edited) Thank you for that. I don't think he will, in this case. You're very welcome ...I may be stubborn ...... but once I recognize another's position, and understand it .....I am quick to admit that too. It is still not how I personally would have handled it ....I would have ignored, but your way was cool too. It showed you were not attached to the outcome, and your emotions were (are) not all tied up in how he chooses to treat you. Sort of like meh, join if you want, if not that's okay too. I can see it (your response) that way too. And if that is how you *truly* feel....which you say it is .....more power to ya! It is so mind boggling though ...how this happened. Jeez ...You just spent a beautiful Xmas eve together for chrissakes. And you said he was moving closer. Perhaps that was the problem. Too close for comfort... and/or he is emotionally closed. But whatever, not your problem! FWIW.. I do think he will contact you again though.....they always do eventually unless they make a formal break ....and even then they come back sometimes. Personally, I think the holidays freaked him....jmo though. Edited January 2, 2016 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dobielover Posted January 2, 2016 Author Share Posted January 2, 2016 It is so mind boggling though ...how this happened. Jeez ...You just spent a beautiful Xmas eve together for chrissakes. And you said he was moving closer. Perhaps that was the problem. Too close for comfort... and/or he is emotionally closed. But whatever, not your problem! FWIW.. I do think he will contact you again though.....they always do eventually unless they make a formal break ....and even then they come back sometimes. Personally, I think the holidays freaked him....jmo though. I don't understand it, either. But if he'll freak out now, he's more likely to freak out when things actually do get serious and deep and emotional. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 It'll be funny to see if he gets riled up by your hot new pics and starts sniffing around again. Imagine the possibilities then .... "Sounds great. Oops, I forgot." or "Let's maybe get together on President's Day. Altho my mom said she wants to go shopping ....I'll let you know." Then follow that up with "I think I may have left my vibrator at your place - can you look around and see?" Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 The guy I've been seeing for about a month hasn't brought up plans for New Year's. We haven't discussed exclusivity, but without going into detail, I think we're headed in that direction, although I think it's too early to discuss it outright. We did spend a lovely bonding Christmas Eve together, even put together, wrapped and hid his child's presents (Santa). We're both still on the OLD site we met on, I used to compulsively check but now I only do so once a day. He has "trust issues." We were just texting back and forth a bit, and I asked him of his plans, as it's a day of the week he usually has his child, and he stopped responding. I've already met and spent time with him and his child, so having his child on that day and night couldn't be the issue. Nor that it's a special holiday, as we've already done that, too. So, I can only assume he's got plans with another girl? I am tempted to bite my nails to the quick!!! Sorry, I have not read entire thread...my two cents based on OP: If you guys had only been talking about a week before the holidays, I could see no plans being made. I would still keep in contact with a girl I was interested in, but perhaps would not make any plans. But a month talking and spending time on Christmas Eve, I agree its shady that he is avoiding you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dobielover Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 Thread is over folks. Link to post Share on other sites
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