Gaeta Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I already PMd you the details and background, so this kinda bugs me that you'd add fuel to this fire when this is obviously not true. Why are you so defensive, relax! we only have your best interest at heart. 2
truth_seeker Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 He's not younger than me, not sure where you got that. We're both late 30's but he's older. To not date a man with children at my age would be to cut out the gross majority of the dating pool. A man who has children has developed skills a man who hasn't had children hasn't had the opportunity or desire to develop. Plus, he has a daughter, which brings a whole 'nother level of respect for women. You wrote: Men who've never married, don't have children, and have no desire to have children, who are late 30's and older are not the ype of guys I'm interested in dating. I took it as you prefer younger men from what you wrote. I never meant anything about your current guy being younger. Just because a guy has kids doesn't mean he has skills. Ask the kids out there who have absentee father's... maybe this guy has skills, but then again, him blowing you off doesn't sound like it. 1
Author dobielover Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Why are you so defensive, relax! we only have your best interest at heart. For crying out loud, I'm not defensive. I just don't like when people say things that are flatly not true, in a fast paced thread when people pick those untruths up and run with it. It derails everything. D: No, and that's okay.
katiegrl Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I already PMd you the details and background, so this kinda bugs me that you'd add fuel to this fire when this is obviously not true. Apologies dobie, had not read your PM or further posts when I posed that.... Sorry, girl 1
Author dobielover Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 You wrote: Men who've never married, don't have children, and have no desire to have children, who are late 30's and older are not the ype of guys I'm interested in dating. I took it as you prefer younger men from what you wrote. I never meant anything about your current guy being younger. If I'm late 30's and interested in men late 30's and older... How would the math equate to preferring younger men? Ask the kids out there who have absentee father's... maybe this guy has skills, but then again, him blowing you off doesn't sound like it. Nice try. He didn't blow me off. He's been very consistent since Day 1.
Author dobielover Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 Apologies dobie, had not read your PM or further posts when I posed that.... Sorry, girl People take your posts as gospel, girl!! Haha!!
truth_seeker Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 If I'm late 30's and interested in men late 30's and older... How would the math equate to preferring younger men? Nice try. He didn't blow me off. He's been very consistent since Day 1. Ahh, what are you talking about? Read again WHAT YOU WROTE: Men who've never married, don't have children, and have no desire to have children, who are late 30's and older are not the ype of guys I'm interested in dating. You stated you are NOT interested in guys late 30s or older. Nice try? You think I'm trying to set you up? Now you're defending a guy people on this thread have been calling rude and dismissive. People come here not for advice but instead to hear what they want to hear. Anything else they get upset.
katiegrl Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 (edited) Ahh, what are you talking about? Read again WHAT YOU WROTE: Men who've never married, don't have children, and have no desire to have children, who are late 30's and older are not the ype of guys I'm interested in dating. ***You stated you are NOT interested in guys late 30s or older. *** Nice try? You think I'm trying to set you up? Now you're defending a guy people on this thread have been calling rude and dismissive. People come here not for advice but instead to hear what they want to hear. Anything else they get upset. ts, in defense of dobie, she wrote she is not interested in men in late 30's or older.... only IF they have **never** been married or have kids. Her current HAS been married and DOES have a kid, so he does not fall into that category. You can't just focus on one part of her comment (the part about not wanting to date men late 30s or older) but disregard the rest of her comment. That is called *selective thinking* which has no place in a healthy debate or discussion... Edited December 28, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Empyrea Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 ts, in defense of dobie, she wrote she is not interested in men in late 30's or older.... only IF they have **never** been married or have kids. Her current HAS been married and DOES have a kid, so he does not fall into that category. You can't just focus on one part of her comment (the part about not wanting to date men late 30s or older) but disregard the rest of her comment. That is called *selective thinking* which has no place in a healthy debate or discussion... In defense of ts.. I also understood it like that. It's really just a case of confusing sentence structure and/or punctuation. I read it as a list of conditions - i.e. she's not interested in men who 1) don't have kids, 2) don't want kids, 3) are late 30s+ ... as opposed to men who are late 30s+ who 1) don't have kids, 2) don't want kids. Just explaining, not really important, though. 1
Author dobielover Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 I'm late 30's and dating someone late 30's with a child. That is clear and has been clear. I was asked why I'm bothering with a man with a kid, why not go find a man without "baggage." To which I responded: Men who've never married, don't have children, and have no desire to have children, who are late 30's and older are not the ype of guys I'm interested in dating. Context is everything. Given the first statement above, that I'm late 30's, dating a man who's also late 30's, who has a child, how you would take my statement as a laundry list of things I don't want, that is that I only date younger men, is beyond me.
Gaeta Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 When participating in a forum you have to accept you will be repeating yourself and you will have to clarify your facts to a couple of people and you should be able to do this without getting your panties in a tangle. 4
truth_seeker Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 ts, in defense of dobie, she wrote she is not interested in men in late 30's or older.... only IF they have **never** been married or have kids. Her current HAS been married and DOES have a kid, so he does not fall into that category. You can't just focus on one part of her comment (the part about not wanting to date men late 30s or older) but disregard the rest of her comment. That is called *selective thinking* which has no place in a healthy debate or discussion... selective thinking? I was stating the facts - what OP wrote.
losangelena Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Given the first statement above, that I'm late 30's, dating a man who's also late 30's, who has a child, how you would take my statement as a laundry list of things I don't want, that is that I only date younger men, is beyond me. I call this, "being misunderstood on the Internet." It happens all the time. Glad you heard back from your guy! 6
katiegrl Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 selective thinking? I was stating the facts - what OP wrote. Yes but out of context and disregarding the rest of of the comment in an attempt to make your point. Anyway, clearly you don't understand selective thinking, so I will refrain from arguing with you about it.. You can't just take one comment, and then pick and choose what's relevant...in that ONE comment. dobie is not interested in men in their late 30's or older WHEN said man does not have kids or has never been married. Again, her current DOES have a kid and HAS been married so obviously he does NOT fall into that category. If you still don't get it, don't know what to tell ya. Take an English class..
jen1447 Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Deconstructing sentences for meaning in a thread about a potential ghoster when the OP is right here to clarify anything seems pointless .... He got back and everything's cleared up - great, end of story! I love happy endings. 3
truth_seeker Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Yes but out of context and disregarding the rest of of the comment in an attempt to make your point. Anyway, clearly you don't understand selective thinking, so I will refrain from arguing with you about it.. You can't just take one comment, and then pick and choose what's relevant...in that ONE comment. dobie is not interested in men in their late 30's or older WHEN said man does not have kids or has never been married. Again, her current DOES have a kid and HAS been married so obviously he does NOT fall into that category. If you still don't get it, don't know what to tell ya. Take an English class.. I'll take this an insult. Thanks. Very classy. 2
katiegrl Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I'll take this an insult. Thanks. Very classy. Yes it was .. apologies for that. No excuse.... but I do apologize.
katiegrl Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 I call this, "being misunderstood on the Internet." It happens all the time. Glad you heard back from your guy! Yes LA, you are right....my bad. And apologies again to ts. I majored in English in college , so am rather touchy about such things... Again, no excuse though...Ugh. Sending good wishes to dobielover!!! I am glad he called!
truth_seeker Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 Yes it was .. apologies for that. No excuse.... but I do apologize. Apology accepted. 1
truth_seeker Posted December 28, 2015 Posted December 28, 2015 And apologies again to ts. I majored in English in college , so am rather touchy about such things... Correction: "I'll take this as an insult" ... need to work on my grammar. 1
Author dobielover Posted December 28, 2015 Author Posted December 28, 2015 When participating in a forum you have to accept you will be repeating yourself and you will have to clarify your facts to a couple of people and you should be able to do this without getting your panties in a tangle. I should be able to repeat myself without being called defensive.
Author dobielover Posted December 29, 2015 Author Posted December 29, 2015 We have plans now. Carmel. 2
Author dobielover Posted December 30, 2015 Author Posted December 30, 2015 Hmm, well now he's saying his plans are still in the air? He can have his plans, they won't include me!
katiegrl Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 Hmm, well now he's saying his plans are still in the air? He can have his plans, they won't include me! Wait....so he asked you out (to Carmel)....but then took it back and may go out with his friends now? What the hell happened? Gotta say ....that is a first! Kind of a dealbreaker IMO. Sorry dobie.... 1
truthtripper Posted December 30, 2015 Posted December 30, 2015 The guy I've been seeing for about a month hasn't brought up plans for New Year's. After seeing him for only 4 weeks, he's not obliged to make any plans with you for NYE, nor inform you of alternative plans. Try not to be so clingy and unrealistic.
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