privategal Posted October 1, 2015 Share Posted October 1, 2015 the day I thought would never come is here have just found out from some former colleagues based in America ExLyingBastard has a new role in the company: in the ethics and compliance department I don't know if I should throw myself off the roof of my house, I have already vomited 2x, and I am in complete shock and hysterical Does that mean hes working now in your department? If not.....WHO cares. Your moving on and forward and who gives a rats @ss what he does. Your doing so good. Distance yourself from the ones who give updates. Dont look back!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 Does that mean hes working now in your department? If not.....WHO cares. Your moving on and forward and who gives a rats @ss what he does. Your doing so good. Distance yourself from the ones who give updates. Dont look back!! Privategal. I quit that firm where I was a bencher being minted and just got a job at another firm. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 day 94. this is tough. I want to have a rant Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Noting a relatively common abrogation of no contact, IMO accept that and actively quit all connections in the industry to specifics on former affair partner's goings-on or whereabouts. IME, it's a process. For myself, things began to improve after a couple years of no contact but that was for a quite long involvement. In retrospect, I viewed it similar to how I processed the end of my M, though that occurred many, many years later. In a way, the lessons learned from the end of affair and grieving process helped in the divorce process, along with the MC received in the latter. Still, it takes time and, for each of us, that's unique. You'll get through it. Right now, some 20+ years later, I hardly remember that period, much less in any emotional way. It's like ancient history. I'll bet it'll be the same way for you at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted October 4, 2015 Author Share Posted October 4, 2015 Noting a relatively common abrogation of no contact, IMO accept that and actively quit all connections in the industry to specifics on former affair partner's goings-on or whereabouts. IME, it's a process. For myself, things began to improve after a couple years of no contact but that was for a quite long involvement. In retrospect, I viewed it similar to how I processed the end of my M, though that occurred many, many years later. In a way, the lessons learned from the end of affair and grieving process helped in the divorce process, along with the MC received in the latter. Still, it takes time and, for each of us, that's unique. You'll get through it. Right now, some 20+ years later, I hardly remember that period, much less in any emotional way. It's like ancient history. I'll bet it'll be the same way for you at some point. Hi Carhill. That's sage advice except that we work in a specialist type profession. I didn't inform my colleagues past, present and soon to be future about my A. Many of these people (more than 50%) know both of us and are having conversation. For me to blurt out "Id rather you not mention any parties you may or may not have gone to" would like waving a banner. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted October 12, 2015 Author Share Posted October 12, 2015 Today I "officially" got told there was no role for me and they emailed me a settlement agreement which I sent on to my solicitor (funny, lawyers having lawyers) as I read it the terms were not as I want so I advised what I would accept, she will counter tomorrow. Do I have have the strength to interview more? Not right now. My friend is coming to see me tomorrow and force me to go to "hot yoga). I hate body odour so this may be my first and only time Link to post Share on other sites
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