Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 I'm trying my best not to lose it but many clients call from unknown number so I'm compelled to answer. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 Well my sister had something on her phone that said this phone does not take calls from blocked numbers, please unblock your number and try again. It wouldn't even ring if the number was blocked. Maybe you can inquire about that. That's what I have on my phones, work and personal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Well my sister had something on her phone that said this phone does not take calls from blocked numbers, please unblock your number and try again. It wouldn't even ring if the number was blocked. Maybe you can inquire about that. That sounds like it works well. As I mentioned I'm a criminal barrister with global clients. This isn't an option for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Astridskylar Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 cant you send unknown numbers to your voice mail? Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 I'm trying my best not to lose it but many clients call from unknown number so I'm compelled to answer. They can and will learn to unblock their number to call you. It's *82 and then your number. Many people have the service that doesn't allow calls from blocked numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 That sounds like it works well. As I mentioned I'm a criminal barrister with global clients. This isn't an option for me. Sure you can. I know from similar experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Sure you can. I know from similar experience. Hi thanks for your advice all of you. This is not my private practice and I'd have a difficulty telling perhaps a member of The House of Lords "you can and will learn how to unblock your number" remember I've resigned and I need to have a good reference after 25 years. Other times calls come in from agencies like NSY who are unable to unblock their numbers. Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 yep, I have been getting unknown calls for 2.5 years now- its annoying because there is really nothing you can do about it- hang in there- Whaaaaat? Omg. That is just horrible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 It's designed to piss you off. Don't let them know it does. It only amps it up. Been there, done that. Sorry if i sound negative, it's just truth and it sucks. feeling resigned. trying to keep the undercurrent of pissed the f off on lockdown x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted July 14, 2015 Share Posted July 14, 2015 feeling resigned. trying to keep the undercurrent of pissed the f off on lockdown x Honestly and truly, it will eventually just be part of your life- for me it ebbs and flows- most days I am like, whatever, but some days its all I can do not to pick up the phone and freak out or run and cry my eyes out- I am in a similar position (I teach) and I do not have the luxury of telling people how to contact me- What compounds the issue for me is 1. I am kind of a control freak so being unable to solve this problem is hard to take 2. I am pretty low key so the fact that someone else is so freaky is beyond my comprehension 3. I am a fixer, if I have a problem, I fix it- all of that works against me- All I can say is hang in there- 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 14, 2015 Author Share Posted July 14, 2015 Honestly and truly, it will eventually just be part of your life- for me it ebbs and flows- most days I am like, whatever, but some days its all I can do not to pick up the phone and freak out or run and cry my eyes out- I am in a similar position (I teach) and I do not have the luxury of telling people how to contact me- What compounds the issue for me is 1. I am kind of a control freak so being unable to solve this problem is hard to take 2. I am pretty low key so the fact that someone else is so freaky is beyond my comprehension 3. I am a fixer, if I have a problem, I fix it- all of that works against me- All I can say is hang in there- Ditto sister. I hope this is just BS acting out a little, (maybe like or unlike some of the AP here) I know BS a bit (before he lied and said they separated I actually hosted his whole family at a holiday property I own for 2 weeks so add that to the sick and twisted list MM did) and I'm Hopeful that this is a flash in the pan but I doubt it xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Update to my usual-ish story. it is almost 2 weeks since the weird ending to my A. NC other than someone giving me incessant hang up calls which I think may be BS. The ironic part of it all is even though I know that it had to end, and that I felt relief that it did initially, and I also firmly believe NC forever is the only way fwd, and that I will never get closure, or answers. I go fro being 100% ok to being plagued with the "why?" questions. Not sure how to get through that but I am sure I will at some point. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyAgain2014 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Update to my usual-ish story. it is almost 2 weeks since the weird ending to my A. NC other than someone giving me incessant hang up calls which I think may be BS. The ironic part of it all is even though I know that it had to end, and that I felt relief that it did initially, and I also firmly believe NC forever is the only way fwd, and that I will never get closure, or answers. I go fro being 100% ok to being plagued with the "why?" questions. Not sure how to get through that but I am sure I will at some point. I've figured out there are no answers, closure is a myth, and over time, you'll realize you have more "why" questions for yourself than him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 I've figured out there are no answers, closure is a myth, and over time, you'll realize you have more "why" questions for yourself than him. Thanks for your response. I have a ton of why questions for myself already. That's why I'm here and in therapy. ? Link to post Share on other sites
MonaLisa22 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I have been the OW for 2.5 years. My AP was in a bad marriage. He was a terrible husband, she isn't a great wife blah blah blah. He wanted to leave ( like they all say) but it was always one excuse after another. I convinced him to go into therapy which he did, and after 4 months of therapy decided to get a divorce lawyer which he did. (Yippee you'd think) I'd been getting dissatisfied with crumbs for about 6 months, and also even though the affair was only emotional for the last year, I did not want to play a part in the deception to his wife anymore which I told him. I also let him know that the truth needed to come out so that each party involved could make decisions based on truth and authenticity. I also told him if he did one more faking disrespectful thing to me I would end the affair with him and tell his wife because she deserved the truth too. He agreed not to disrespect me again but he did over the last weekend in June. On Monday afternoon, he called me to apologise for being an ass over the weekend. I told him it was over and reminded him of my intention to end it and tell his wife which I intended to do after work. After work I called her, she answered the phone crying I told her who I was, and she handed the phone to him. He told me that he had told her everything about us and about seeing the divorce lawyer (I could hear her in the background ). He hasn't been to work and hasn't contacted me. I can only assume they are trying to work it out. So it's over. I'm sorry I hurt his wife. I'm sorry I hurt myself. I hope they resolve it whichever way is best for them. My emotions are everywhere. Relief. Distraught. Embarrassed of my behaviour. Heart broken. Feeling I had a lucky escape and hurt and confused. I'd NEVER be an OW again. It's nothing but disaster. I doubt he will try to contact me again but if he does, it's NC from me. I wish I knew what to do with all these feelings. Thanks for listening I am so sorry and if there was a way to send you a hug through the computer I would. So if it's not too weird, give yourself a hug for me. I admire your courage and strength. You had enough strength to put limits down with what you are willing to put up with and you followed through. I can only imagine how many people in a similar situation make threats but never have the courage to make that phone call. If you have that kind of courage and strength, you will find a way to tap into it to get through this. I do believe everything happens for a reason and those reasons may be unclear. I believe we may make decisions that we are unhappy with ourselves through, but that doesn't mean nothing good can come from even those bad decisions. Don't be afraid to let yourself fall apart for a little bit, just as long as you use your inner strength to pull yourself out of it after a few days. Crying is a healthy part of the healing process. Maybe his marriage was on the rocks and although it may hurt to hear, maybe his marriage will be able to start moving in a better direction because of you. I know that sucks to hear, but it's possible. There are so many men out there. You are going to hear that. I do believe there are, but only half of them are decent enough to want to date. So I hope that one of those men who are decent enough, come your way and help you put back the pieces to mend your broken heart. Remember, maybe this wasn't the best of choices you made, but you can't beat yourself up over it. We all make bad choices. The important thing is that we learn from those choices. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 I am so sorry and if there was a way to send you a hug through the computer I would. So if it's not too weird, give yourself a hug for me. I admire your courage and strength. You had enough strength to put limits down with what you are willing to put up with and you followed through. I can only imagine how many people in a similar situation make threats but never have the courage to make that phone call. If you have that kind of courage and strength, you will find a way to tap into it to get through this. I do believe everything happens for a reason and those reasons may be unclear. I believe we may make decisions that we are unhappy with ourselves through, but that doesn't mean nothing good can come from even those bad decisions. Don't be afraid to let yourself fall apart for a little bit, just as long as you use your inner strength to pull yourself out of it after a few days. Crying is a healthy part of the healing process. Maybe his marriage was on the rocks and although it may hurt to hear, maybe his marriage will be able to start moving in a better direction because of you. I know that sucks to hear, but it's possible. There are so many men out there. You are going to hear that. I do believe there are, but only half of them are decent enough to want to date. So I hope that one of those men who are decent enough, come your way and help you put back the pieces to mend your broken heart. Remember, maybe this wasn't the best of choices you made, but you can't beat yourself up over it. We all make bad choices. The important thing is that we learn from those choices. Thanks for the hug c Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 I'm so gobsmacked and pis**d off right now I could scream!!! ExMM had another lawyer not in the firm send me a letter, which was served on me by email. Not a cease and desist (I'm solid in NC) but advising he had been retained by ExMM who wants to make his clients wishes known that he doesn't want me in his life or to invade the privacy of his families life nor to take any action against him at work or speak to anyone about him. Now I've not contacted anyone about him, he owes me money circa $15,000 which his lawyer said he disputes. Um I have emails asking and wire transfers with the word "loan" in the reference. I'm so insulted and pissed. I now have to hire someone locally to him to represent me. More wasted money. I believe he is doing this because he sent me explicit material from his company email, as well as his company paid mobile which is a gross misconduct violation and he'd immediately be terminated. This is the ultimate cover your bum. All I want is for this crappy experience to be floating farther into the distance but instead he is stirring the pot. I have every email text whatsaoo and iMessage He has to wipe all texts off his phone each night. I have all the things he sent me, I'll sleep on it but pretty filled with rage in this moment! Link to post Share on other sites
goodyblue Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 What does.it matter? He can't stop you from telling your.story if you choose. I am glad you are NC with.this guy! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I would document everything and get your own lawyer to get your money back or you'll let all those texts go public.... What a total *******!! Stay strong! 5 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 Since you have saved all of the emails and texts regarding the loan you should take him to court. I also think you can talk about him all you want so long as what you are saying isn't lies so his lawyer is just trying to intimidate you. Finally go to counselling so that you can learn to value yourself more. Why did the MM need to borrow 15,000 dollars from you and why did you agree to give a MM money? 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 What does.it matter? He can't stop you from telling your.story if you choose. I am glad you are NC with.this guy! I'm totally a no revenge type of person. I'm a barrister in a different country as well as admitted to the bar elsewhere just not in this state so I'm not sure what applicable state laws are germaine to this proceeding. However, I've not contacted him or anyone in his family nor the place of employment, I actually resigned 1 July and am working out my 3 months notice period (common in my home country) he must be crapping himself that I will turn him in to ethics or tell his wife actual true facts about the A which I've not felt it was my place to do. The fact ExMM has done this to try to scare me is outrageous and say he didn't ask for the money or that it was a loan makes me want to knee him in the crotch. In my country I'm allowed to speak about my life and name names as long as it is TRUE and I was participant. I can relate facts and my feelings, as well as what was said, but not surmise anyone els's feelings as that's conjecture. What a douche! Link to post Share on other sites
nikki76 Posted July 17, 2015 Share Posted July 17, 2015 I don't know much about the law, but are you sure this email is legit? Or just his way to scare you to keep you quiet? If it is legit, and I were you, I wouldn't hesitate one bit to make this guy's life a living hell, just for going that extra mile to try to make yours miserable. Payback is a bitch! What an ass this guy is! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 I would document everything and get your own lawyer to get your money back or you'll let all those texts go public.... What a total *******!! Stay strong! I have all the documentation. What's funny is I *never* mentioned the money. ExMM introduced that. Now I have to obtain representation in another country, and spend time, effort, and money on this bull. I don't even want to think of ExMM. He's so stupid that he sent explicit photos, videos and audio files to me from his company mobile and email which he knows I have. If I had wanted revenge I could have turned him in and they would have fired him on the spot. As he has worked at the same firm for circa 25 years, getting sacked/fired for cross misconduct makes ExMM virtually unemployable. What is he thinking! Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 Since you have saved all of the emails and texts regarding the loan you should take him to court. I also think you can talk about him all you want so long as what you are saying isn't lies so his lawyer is just trying to intimidate you. Finally go to counselling so that you can learn to value yourself more. Why did the MM need to borrow 15,000 dollars from you and why did you agree to give a MM money? Thanks for your comment. I am in therapy. I lent him the money wired to a secret account just created last month for (drumroll please........ ) retaining his divorce lawyer so BS would not see the retainer being paid out before he was ready to serve the papers. It's a real lawyer's letter made up of meritless bull crap Link to post Share on other sites
Author NewLeaf512 Posted July 17, 2015 Author Share Posted July 17, 2015 I don't know much about the law, but are you sure this email is legit? Or just his way to scare you to keep you quiet? If it is legit, and I were you, I wouldn't hesitate one bit to make this guy's life a living hell, just for going that extra mile to try to make yours miserable. Payback is a bitch! What an ass this guy is! Thanks for your email. Yes it's legit. It's not a Cease & Desist Order, merely a letter stating representation and possible intent, which is designed to intimidate. All my friends and family knew ExMM so exposure for me means nothing. As soon as I found out he was still married I never saw him in person or had any physical contact (sex) and made sure we weren't in the same place at that same time, hundreds if not thousands of miles apart which is easily proven. The last time I physically saw ExMM was once in the very beginning of 2013. That's right .. Over 2 years ago. And this douche his high up in his church. I'm so ANGRY Link to post Share on other sites
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