I have never been so turned off and uncomfortable on a date in my life

[smg15]

Because people under 35 never break their bones right. They never pull muscles or have surgeries. It's totally mind blowing to see a young woman with a can.

 

Well if I had a injury I would have not went on a date until I was able to walk regular.

[Gaeta]

Well if I had a injury I would have not went on a date until I was able to walk regular.

 

You were not meeting for the first time. You had met her already and had seen her without the can. The ice between you 2 were broken. So what she used a can on second date? She needs it temporarily only. I would somewhat sympathize if it had been your 1st date and she had not told you ahead she would show up with a can, but this is your 2nd date, c'mon!

[strawberryshortstack]

Perhaps this is why you so rarely make it to the second date...

[smg15]

This lady has a cane. Would you kick her out of bed?

 

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b7/5b/5e/b75b5ef4b9d728c57a4cf7c8a85748eb.jpg

 

 

That looks like a "kinky cane" lol

[smg15]

SMG....what if YOU were the one who had to use a cane for a few weeks until your hip healed. What if you had a date set up with a woman you were really into...then, because you didn't want to cancel the date because of you having to use a cane, you showed up at the date WITHOUT telling her that you were using one because you injured your hip while playing ice hockey.

 

What would you do, how would you have reacted and how would you have felt if you could tell by HER reaction that she was:

 

1.) EMBARRASSED by being seen with you using a cane and hobbling around town

 

2.) EMBARRASSED by what OTHER PEOPLE thought about you having to use a cane and *gasp* making other people walk around you and past you because you were walking/hobbling too damn slow

 

3.) HORRIFIED by being out on a date with a loser guy because he had the audacity to have an injury that required the use of a cane and did NOT have the decency to TELL her FIRST *before* she had to be SEEN with YOU out on a date in PUBLIC?

 

 

Seriously, though. I'd like you to answer this question. Because, by you thinking of an answer to my question, you would then hopefully LEARN something about people, life and how things can happen in a blink of an eye.

 

 

 

.

 

 

 

I would have been on "dating hiatus" if I had to use a cane until my hip improved.

[johndo1984]

Well I'm mid 30's so I am not used to being out with someone with a cane. That's all I'm saying

 

PLEASE GROW UP AND BE MORE MATURE, STOP ACTING LIKE A PUSSY. Dont worrry, someone will date her w a cane.. she doesn't need a jerk like you.. .

[PumpkinLumpkin]

I think you should keep dating her.

 

A woman on a cane can be just as sexy as a woman on a pole.

[Gaeta]

I would have been on "dating hiatus" if I had to use a cane until my hip improved.

 

Hips problems are very tricky. The pain come and go with no warning. She may spend weeks without any pain then suddenly she is hit with it. You expect her to put her romantic life on hold because of that? Should she also put her dating life on hold during allergy season? about during her periods? what else?

 

I think deep down you are upset because you did not get to go walk in the busy street you had planned. I think it's all about you, and not so much about her.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Her cane lowered his "value" & "points". He should have played true to "his" game & walked out at the beginning without saying a word.

[PumpkinLumpkin]

I think for the next date, you should show up in a full-body cast and record the expression on her face.

[Shining One]

if he whacked me me with the cane. That would be a deal breaker.

You're no fun. When I was recovering from knee surgery, I used a cane. I had a few cane duels with a woman who went to the same physical therapist. We both got our whacks in.

[Mrin]

The little walk we did have was difficult because we were in everyone's way due to the cane

 

I am not going to jump on you again but just for the record the way to handle this in the future is to hold her non cane hand, take half a step back and give everyone the "go F yourself look" as you casually make your way at HER pace. Be the Knight. Make her feel it is just you and her.

[smg15]

I am not going to jump on you again but just for the record the way to handle this in the future is to hold her non cane hand, take half a step back and give everyone the "go F yourself look" as you casually make your way at HER pace. Be the Knight. Make her feel it is just you and her.

 

I'm not going to be in this situation again until I'm in my 60's

[guest569]

If she had told me about the cane ahead of time I would have selected a place that was less congested and very calm

 

Would you, though? Sounds like the cane itself is a dealbreaker.

[ascendotum]

Her cane lowered his "value" & "points". He should have played true to "his" game & walked out at the beginning without saying a word.

I tend to agree with you about the lowered value aspect. Maybe for a guy that struggles to get 2nd dates, and the only one that he can chalk up in a number of years is with an invalid woman, its a kick to his self esteem. I can understand that.

 

I can appreciate a lot of people being annoyed if they showed up for a date and the person they met had along term condition that necessitated a cane, and they failed to mention it or had pictures of them without it. If they deliberately hid it, then they are willfully misleading you, but if you complain, you leave yourself open to being accused of being shallow. I'm sure some with disabilities/disfigurements/health conditions play it that way.

 

For me if I had a temporary injury that made me hobble, use a case, use a wheelchair, I would dropout of dating and just ride it out. If her use of the cane is just a temporary thing, then I think OP's disgust at this is OTT. If he walked out on the date, he wouldn't be a phoney and standing up for his beliefs, but I'd say it would hit the woman's feelings hard.If she read this thread though, she wouldn't want to date him.

[Haydn]

Now if she`d turned up with Michael Caine.....

 

What a talking point...

 

`Not a lot of people know that`

[smg15]

I tend to agree with you about the lowered value aspect. Maybe for a guy that struggles to get 2nd dates, and the only one that he can chalk up in a number of years is with an invalid woman, its a kick to his self esteem. I can understand that.

 

I can appreciate a lot of people being annoyed if they showed up for a date and the person they met had along term condition that necessitated a cane, and they failed to mention it or had pictures of them without it. If they deliberately hid it, then they are willfully misleading you, but if you complain, you leave yourself open to being accused of being shallow. I'm sure some with disabilities/disfigurements/health conditions play it that way.

 

For me if I had a temporary injury that made me hobble, use a case, use a wheelchair, I would dropout of dating and just ride it out. If her use of the cane is just a temporary thing, then I think OP's disgust at this is OTT. If he walked out on the date, he wouldn't be a phoney and standing up for his beliefs, but I'd say it would hit the woman's feelings hard.If she read this thread though, she wouldn't want to date him.

 

Thank you for understanding how I felt tonight which was the main reason I didn't extend the date. Since it was a 2nd date I would not have ended it at 8:45pm on a saturday night but I was not about to walk around a waterfront with someone with a cane. And I am already dealing with getting older so to be out with someone like that tonight was very difficult for me.

[Clockwork]

Well tell me that before the date just don't show up with a cane.

 

Maybe she thought, oh I don't know, this guy might judge me a lot if he sees me in a cane. I have news for you, she wasn't wrong. You like someone for their perfections but LOVE someone for their imperfections. That's true love.

 

 

But in all honesty, this shallow attitude will come back and bite you. Some girl will do the same thing to you. Maybe this girl needs an operation on her hip. Maybe it is temporary, maybe she got hurt at work.

[smg15]

Maybe she thought, oh I don't know, this guy might judge me a lot if he sees me in a cane. I have news for you, she wasn't wrong. You like someone for their perfections but LOVE someone for their imperfections. That's true love.

 

 

But in all honesty, this shallow attitude will come back and bite you. Some girl will do the same thing to you. Maybe this girl needs an operation on her hip. Maybe it is temporary, maybe she got hurt at work.

 

All that is fine but say that on the phone instead having me in complete shock once I see you in public.

[Auspecial]

I think OP may just be a little sheltered and inexperienced. He said he tried to be a gentleman. Maybe after he gets some life experience under his belt (gets knocked around by life a bit) and gets some experience, he will be more realistic and accepting (not to mention compassionate) about things like this.

[Satu]

Zero empathy is a mental and emotional disability.

[Kamille]

People who deal with chronic pain or injuries are entirely within their right to continue dating.

 

And now she knows everything she needed to know about you.

[elaine567]

I think OP may just be a little sheltered and inexperienced. He said he tried to be a gentleman. Maybe after he gets some life experience under his belt (gets knocked around by life a bit) and gets some experience, he will be more realistic and accepting (not to mention compassionate) about things like this.

 

Smg15 is in his mid thirties, not his mid teens.

[Larry56]

HAHAHA Thread of the Year!!

 

I'm going to dub this thread 'Cane-Gate'

 

Your not getting any sympathy from any disabled people here!!

 

On your dating profile you should state

 

"I don't date women with kids, alcohol problems or canes!!"

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

Smg15 is in his mid thirties, not his mid teens.

 

I agree with you here, Elaine. However, some people mature wayyy later in life; either because they were sheltered, raised by unfit/neglectful/abusive parents or they just need to be knocked around by life a little bit harder so that certain life lessons can sink in their head. I've seen people in their 40s and 50s who are as ignorant, apathetic and as rude as people who are younger.

 

 

 

.