Honeybunnies Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I agree, if this was the worst date you've ever had, consider yourself lucky. I'm sure she's aware of how she looks with a cane - but she still wanted a second date with you. I'm also sure she could sense your true feelings about the situation. So basically I am walking around on a saturday night with a woman who is walking with a cane which was so uncomfortable for me. Uncomfortable for you??? What about her?? 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Booohooo!! you don't come up with surprises on a second date. You stick to the original plans which was dinner in a restaurant, if you wanted to walk on the beach or downtown you should have offered the idea at the same time as the dinner invitation. I am sure Jessica Biel is as lovely with a can. You are really coming across as a jerk tonight, I am starting to understand why no 2nd date came about since 2011. Also the date was about meeting her, not about your little fun downtown. You really need to grow up. I'm coming across as a jerk because I was uncomfortable? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I'm coming across as a jerk because I was uncomfortable? Explain to me in details why that made you uncomfortable? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Yes, I'm sure she noticed that you were not happy about it and therefore embarrassed and uncomfortable with it as well. While I can understand she COULD HAVE mentioned that she requires a use of a cane, just to prevent any shock or discrimination on her dates, but she is not obligated to do so...she's still a person who can go on dates, and although it'll make people uncomfortable who take it as some kind of personal offense, this is something she has to deal with in her own life, put yourself in her shoes. It's something she needs and obviously if it was her choice I'm sure she would not use one, who would choose or prefer to need a cane and be in pain?...especially at a young age. Imagine what it's like for her to try and go out and go on with her life like that...should she just rot for the sake of your pride? I don't know why you don't have any compassion within you that allows you to feel differently about this, obviously it was embarrassing and caught you by total surprise...I don't blame you for your own feelings, but to call it the biggest shock of your life is way over dramatic...makes you sound like such a self-entitled pussy, like you're way too good for her. You should have just gracefully bowed out and left the date, or been a man about it and just dealt with it instead of acting really immature about it, thinking how horrible and uncomfortable it all is. It's just a cane and you're freaking out like she had an extra arm dangling out of her forehead or she was doing something with her behavior that was so mortifying you just couldn't take it. Your reaction to this says a lot about the kind of guy/person you are, at least right now in your youth...I hope you use this as an opportunity to see your faults and grow up/mature a little...because you should be quite embarrassed about your attitude towards her, you way overreacted to cane and judged her completely by it. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
purplesoccer34 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Of course not, this was a 2nd date and no mention of a cane before the date. I wonder how many females would be ok with a guy just showing up out of nowhere with a cane on a date Wow. I'm glad this poor girl won't be dating you anymore. Thanks for doing her the favor. Hopefully she will find someone who is more empathetic and understanding. And to answer your question, I would not mind it a single bit if a guy just showed up out of nowhere with a cane on a second date. I've had injuries before. I understand that they happen, and sometimes they require using a cane or crutches. It doesn't necessarily mean she's going to be using the cane forever. Try to put yourself in her shoes and understand the kind of pain she might be going through. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I'm coming across as a jerk because I was uncomfortable? Yes you are. How do you not see that? She had a cane because she had hip pain. It isn't even something she uses all the time, as she didn't have it on your first date. So it isn't something permanently with her that changes anything about her. It's something to help her have less pain. But you were more worried about what people who don't know you at all on a busy street thought about you than you were worried about getting to know your date. And why would anyone think twice about you walking around with someone with a cane? I've seen plenty of people walking around with canes, people of all ages, and I've never once given it a second thought. I seriously doubt anyone who saw her with you did either. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Explain to me in details why that made you uncomfortable? The fact that we were in a busy area and was making it hard for people to walking behind us due to the fact that she didn't have a lot of speed due to the cane. So of course I will be uncomfortable if I never been on a date with someone with a cane on top of not being told about it Link to post Share on other sites
Hope Shimmers Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I'm coming across as a jerk because I was uncomfortable? You're coming across as a jerk because you're acting like one. Maybe she was testing you, to see what kind of a person you are. And you failed. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Yes you are. How do you not see that? She had a cane because she had hip pain. It isn't even something she uses all the time, as she didn't have it on your first date. So it isn't something permanently with her that changes anything about her. It's something to help her have less pain. But you were more worried about what people who don't know you at all on a busy street thought about you than you were worried about getting to know your date. And why would anyone think twice about you walking around with someone with a cane? I've seen plenty of people walking around with canes, people of all ages, and I've never once given it a second thought. I seriously doubt anyone who saw her with you did either. Again, we were in a "lively part of town" on a saturday night so of course it is going to make me uncomfortable. If she had told me about the cane ahead of time I would have selected a place that was less congested and very calm Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 I agree, if this was the worst date you've ever had, consider yourself lucky. I'm sure she's aware of how she looks with a cane - but she still wanted a second date with you. I'm also sure she could sense your true feelings about the situation. Uncomfortable for you??? What about her?? The little walk we did have was difficult because we were in everyone's way due to the cane Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 The fact that we were in a busy area and was making it hard for people to walking behind us due to the fact that she didn't have a lot of speed due to the cane. So of course I will be uncomfortable if I never been on a date with someone with a cane on top of not being told about it Are you for real?? You worry about what pure strangers will think of a young woman walking with a can?? And why in the world would people think anything negative about her?? Why would people care at all that she is slower?? They are free to walk pass her!! Are you so unsocial and insensitive that you considered her a nuisance for the public? Are you saying that even though she got there with a can due to hip pain you STILL took her walking downtown? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGypsy Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I really don't get why the cane was such a big deal? I can't imagine not dating an otherwise lovely man because he needed a cane. Maybe it's my age? (49) if he whacked me me with the cane. That would be a deal breaker. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 If she had told me about the cane ahead of time I would have selected a place that was less congested and very calm OH cause it's ok with you to NOT tell her ahead you have these big plans to walk in a busy street downtown but she has to read your mind and tell you ahead she will be using her can tonight? And once you saw her in pain, why didn't you change your plan? You could not think of a quiet park somewhere to go sit together? Link to post Share on other sites
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 I really don't get why the cane was such a big deal? I can't imagine not dating an otherwise lovely man because he needed a cane. Maybe it's my age? (49) if he whacked me me with the cane. That would be a deal breaker. Okay. That was funny as HELL!!!! Bahaahaaaa!!!! Thanks for the laugh, Gypsy!!! I still have that visual in my mind of a guy whacking you on the head with his cane roflmalololol . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 Are you for real?? You worry about what pure strangers will think of a young woman walking with a can?? And why in the world would people think anything negative about her?? Why would people care at all that she is slower?? They are free to walk pass her!! Are you so unsocial and insensitive that you considered her a nuisance for the public? Are you saying that even though she got there with a can due to hip pain you STILL took her walking downtown? No I said I cancelled the walk after dinner Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 I really don't get why the cane was such a big deal? I can't imagine not dating an otherwise lovely man because he needed a cane. Maybe it's my age? (49) if he whacked me me with the cane. That would be a deal breaker. Well I'm mid 30's so I am not used to being out with someone with a cane. That's all I'm saying Link to post Share on other sites
Author smg15 Posted April 26, 2015 Author Share Posted April 26, 2015 OH cause it's ok with you to NOT tell her ahead you have these big plans to walk in a busy street downtown but she has to read your mind and tell you ahead she will be using her can tonight? And once you saw her in pain, why didn't you change your plan? You could not think of a quiet park somewhere to go sit together? We were not near the park and I was not going to have her doing all that walking since she had the cane. Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Well I'm mid 30's so I am not used to being out with someone with a cane. That's all I'm saying Way too old for this kind of attitude. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Well I'm mid 30's so I am not used to being out with someone with a cane. That's all I'm saying Because people under 35 never break their bones right. They never pull muscles or have surgeries. It's totally mind blowing to see a young woman with a can. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGypsy Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Well I'm mid 30's so I am not used to being out with someone with a cane. That's all I'm saying You could at least try to empathize. I'm sure she doesn't love needing a cane. Would it offend you if she had pulled out reading glasses to read a menu? A cane can be used by people of any age for many different reasons. It's not the universal symbol for old age. Seriously, it's a cane. I honestly think you might want to think this over. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 There's a blonde that lives across the hall from my grandmother in the senior center. I don't know why she's there exactly because she looks more in her 40's than her 60's but she uses a walking stick the few times I've seen her go out. And I'd take her out. Make out with her in public, the whole deal. She's kinda hot actually, seems like a drama queen and I like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Willy Wonka had a cane and he was sexy as hell. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 Well I'm mid 30's so I am not used to being out with someone with a cane. That's all I'm saying SMG....what if YOU were the one who had to use a cane for a few weeks until your hip healed. What if you had a date set up with a woman you were really into...then, because you didn't want to cancel the date because of you having to use a cane, you showed up at the date WITHOUT telling her that you were using one because you injured your hip while playing ice hockey. What would you do, how would you have reacted and how would you have felt if you could tell by HER reaction that she was: 1.) EMBARRASSED by being seen with you using a cane and hobbling around town 2.) EMBARRASSED by what OTHER PEOPLE thought about you having to use a cane and *gasp* making other people walk around you and past you because you were walking/hobbling too damn slow 3.) HORRIFIED by being out on a date with a loser guy because he had the audacity to have an injury that required the use of a cane and did NOT have the decency to TELL her FIRST *before* she had to be SEEN with YOU out on a date in PUBLIC? Seriously, though. I'd like you to answer this question. Because, by you thinking of an answer to my question, you would then hopefully LEARN something about people, life and how things can happen in a blink of an eye. . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PumpkinLumpkin Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 This lady has a cane. Would you kick her out of bed? https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/b7/5b/5e/b75b5ef4b9d728c57a4cf7c8a85748eb.jpg 4 Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted April 26, 2015 Share Posted April 26, 2015 This thread is surreal...I have no idea what to think!!! lol Link to post Share on other sites
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