Women don't want a good man now days.

[MidwestUSA]

It's called "grammarphobia."

 

Yes it really exists, and is actually quite common!

 

I suffer from the same disorder myself!

 

Google it.. :)

 

Ah, thank you! Yes, I had a horrible childhood due to this debilitating illness.

 

Now, my husband (maybe posting on Facebook or whatever) ASKS me if he can't spell something or is unsure of a word's proper usage. How humiliating and unmanly! I'm sure this makes him a beta, doormat, pushover, whatever you'd like to call it. I married younger, since I know I'm aging him prematurely.

[katiegrl]

Ah, thank you! Yes, I had a horrible childhood due to this debilitating illness.

 

Now, my husband (maybe posting on Facebook or whatever) ASKS me if he can't spell something or is unsure of a word's proper usage. How humiliating and unmanly! I'm sure this makes him a beta, doormat, pushover, whatever you'd like to call it. I married younger, since I know I'm aging him prematurely.

 

I have the perfect solution...

 

Surprise him with a brand-spankin new Websters New World Dictionary...or better yet simply introduce him to google.com! Google is awesome!

 

Problem solved! Lol :bunny:

[loveweary11]

I like your list. I would only add that my man have the ability to spell and put together grammatically correct sentences. You know, the basics? There's probably a name for my condition, but it escapes me right now.

 

 

I used to feel the same way.... until I started using a tablet to post online.

 

I'm also so busy with a billion textsva day, I just send them, even if they aren't perfect.

[loveweary11]

^^^^ Even screwed that post up unintentionally!!

[fitnessfan365]

To her credit, she is terrible with this stuff. Hooked up with her ex boyfriend's friend on the ex boyfriend's birthday. Vanished on the ex while they were all at a club. I had a prior experience where she was too allowing in a different place when some guy cornered her.

 

But it's necessary to make yourself heard. She even told me she needs some babysitting and to be even more agressive with her in those situations. To just grab her.

 

After all that, we started making out on the beach and had a great time back at the hotel room. For hours.

 

This is one of the most attractive girls you'll ever see and after I took a stand, she was literally all over me and me alone.

 

So, there is a lot of merit to this approach.

 

Do I agree with your point? Absolutely. Women don't like push overs and sometimes you have to take a stand. This builds attraction and actually makes a woman feel safer. After all, if you can't stand up to her, how would you ever stand up for her and protect her? My ex GF was acting like a brat once, I told her to go home, and let her leave. That night she shows up on her own, apologizes, and admits how she secretly liked that I stood up to her. Why? She is insanely hot and used to guys kissing her ass and fawning all over her. A woman wants a guy who will treat her like a person.

 

But come on man. A woman that hooks up with her boyfriend's friend, on her boyfriend's birthday? She has absolutely no integrity whatsoever. No amount of physical sex appeal can make up for a woman being a horrible person. Plus, the reason why she acts the way she does, is because men keep making excuses for her simply because of her looks which is exactly what you're doing.

[loveweary11]

Do I agree with your point? Absolutely. Women don't like push overs and sometimes you have to take a stand. This builds attraction and actually makes a woman feel safer. After all, if you can't stand up to her, how would you ever stand up for her and protect her? My ex GF was acting like a brat once, I told her to go home, and let her leave. That night she shows up on her own, apologizes, and admits how she secretly liked that I stood up to her. Why? She is insanely hot and used to guys kissing her ass and fawning all over her. A woman wants a guy who will treat her like a person.

 

But come on man. A woman that hooks up with her boyfriend's friend, on her boyfriend's birthday? She has absolutely no integrity whatsoever. No amount of physical sex appeal can make up for a woman being a horrible person. Plus, the reason why she acts the way she does, is because men keep making excuses for her simply because of her looks which is exactly what you're doing.

 

Notice she did this to OTHER guys and I didn't stand for even the first little hint of it.

 

Just like you, I didn't put up with it.

 

It wasn't my girlfriend either. Just one of the girls I see. We had no commitment, but if she's out with me, she's out with me and not pulling whatever she pulled with her ex. Not even a hint of that. lol

 

Thing is, this girl blacks out easily and that's when this stuff happens. So... can't 100% blame her from her inhibitions being low, but at the same time, didn't take an inch of that behavior. m

Edited April 22, 2015 by loveweary11

[katiegrl]

Do I agree with your point? Absolutely. Women don't like push overs and sometimes you have to take a stand. This builds attraction and actually makes a woman feel safer. After all, if you can't stand up to her, how would you ever stand up for her and protect her? My ex GF was acting like a brat once, I told her to go home, and let her leave. That night she shows up on her own, apologizes, and admits how she secretly liked that I stood up to her. Why? She is insanely hot and used to guys kissing her ass and fawning all over her. A woman wants a guy who will treat her like a person.

 

But come on man. A woman that hooks up with her boyfriend's friend, on her boyfriend's birthday? She has absolutely no integrity whatsoever. No amount of physical sex appeal can make up for a woman being a horrible person. Plus, the reason why she acts the way she does, is because men keep making excuses for her simply because of her looks which is exactly what you're doing.

 

>>That night she shows up on her own, apologizes, and admits how she secretly liked that I stood up to her..<<

--

 

^^Well since she actually told you she liked it, it was hardly a "secret" now was it.

 

Plus how do you know why she acts the way she does (because men keep making excuses for her because of her looks). Did she tell you that too?

[fitnessfan365]

Notice she did this to OTHER guys and I didn't stand for even the first little hint of it.

 

Just like you, I didn't put up with it.

 

It wasn't my girlfriend either. Just one of the girls I see.

 

Well as I said, I agree with you. Plus, no judgement at all for you having a rotation. I'm the biggest advocate for multi-dating there is.

 

All I'm saying is that there plenty of beautiful women out there who are also good people.

[Krieger]

My post was directed mostly at a guy above it, not at your original post, but....

 

 

 

 

That's a big list. You're going to have to make a lot of compromises to have a human being that's a female to be with.

 

I'd think hard about pruning the list way down.

 

My list has always been this one: Someone I'm attracted to who isva good person inside.

/End List

 

A few preferences can be added, but I start with a completely open mind, get to know the girl, then get a feeling if she's right or not. Checklists make people lonely.

 

 

I know i not going to find the perfect woman but there are things I am not going to put up with.

 

Will I am not going to date obese woman or over weight woman just not my thing.

 

No single mom for me to much drama to deal with.

I would be open to it but the guy she had the kid with better be dead or want nothing to do with the kid .My fear is what if I like the kid more than I like her than what? I do not want to bound with a child that not mine and if it does not work out feel like i am abandoning the child . I know it is crazy to feel that way but I do.

 

Must know when to act like a woman and when it OK not act womanly

 

Must have a career or be working towards one . At least make closes to what I make a year .

 

Have no daddy issues please but she can call me daddy in the bedroom LOL

 

Must let me be a man and not view men as the enemy

 

Last one must know how to cook I know how to cook . What is she going to do if she cant cook and we have kids and I am not home ? Take out every night? Not saying she has to do all the cooking but she should know how to do so.

 

Calls me on my BS

[loveweary11]

Well as I said, I agree with you. Plus, no judgement at all for you having a rotation. I'm the biggest advocate for multi-dating there is.

 

All I'm saying is that there plenty of beautiful women out there who are also good people.

 

 

I'm a fan of your posts. Was trying to stress that like you... i didn't take sh#t. ha ha ha

 

Post was more in the spirit of "hey, I'm a cool kid too"

[Krieger]

whats strange is this list feels long at first glance but when read its more lenient than most female lists.

conclusion is being single is much easier

 

Well most woman want a guy that has it all so my list is reasonable for the most part.

 

Where I live the PNW woman will not give you the time of day if you don't have a good job, nice car , dress nice, in shape, confident , outgoing , aloof, semi-A hole and challenge.Have a ton of friends and can keep her entertained and not be boring.

 

I know i am far from perfect and need to work on things . Woman some of them want Mr perfect .

[xxoo]

I know i not going to find the perfect woman but there are things I am not going to put up with.

 

Will I am not going to date obese woman or over weight woman just not my thing.

 

No single mom for me to much drama to deal with.

I would be open to it but the guy she had the kid with better be dead or want nothing to do with the kid .My fear is what if I like the kid more than I like her than what? I do not want to bound with a child that not mine and if it does not work out feel like i am abandoning the child . I know it is crazy to feel that way but I do.

 

Must know when to act like a woman and when it OK not act womanly

 

Must have a career or be working towards one . At least make closes to what I make a year .

 

Have no daddy issues please but she can call me daddy in the bedroom LOL

 

Must let me be a man and not view men as the enemy

 

Last one must know how to cook I know how to cook . What is she going to do if she cant cook and we have kids and I am not home ? Take out every night? Not saying she has to do all the cooking but she should know how to do so.

 

Calls me on my BS

 

The problem with your list is the vague "act like a woman" and "let me be a man." what do these even mean?

 

It sounds like, when any conflict comes up, you're going to fall back on gender stereotypes and your own gender role baggage and resist any sort of flexible joint problem solving.

[Woggle]

My list if I were single would be

 

No history of cheating

Not a misandrist

No substance abuse issues

Takes responsibility for her actions and doesn't always try to be the victim

Is not a hypocrite on gender roles

Is not addicted to drama and strife in relationships

Is a genuinely good person who believes in treating a man well and I would do the same for her

[Krieger]

The problem with your list is the vague "act like a woman" and "let me be a man." what do these even mean?

 

It sounds like, when any conflict comes up, you're going to fall back on gender stereotypes and your own gender role baggage and resist any sort of flexible joint problem solving.

 

Women should act feminine, not masculine. We like women because they are just that, women. Women should be fairly soft spoken, polite, and carry themselves with at least a certain degree of modesty and mystery. Dare I call it class. I not mind a woman who can be ‘one of the guys’, per se, but not at the cost of her femininity.

[BlueIris]

I know i not going to find the perfect woman but there are things I am not going to put up with.

 

Will I am not going to date obese woman or over weight woman just not my thing.

 

No single mom for me to much drama to deal with.

…

 

Must know when to act like a woman and when it OK not act womanly

 

Must have a career or be working towards one . At least make closes to what I make a year .

 

Have no daddy issues please but she can call me daddy in the bedroom LOL

 

Must let me be a man and not view men as the enemy

 

Last one must know how to cook I know how to cook . What is she going to do if she cant cook and we have kids and I am not home ? Take out every night? Not saying she has to do all the cooking but she should know how to do so.

 

Calls me on my BS

 

You got it.

 

Look up target fixation and consider it in terms of what you fixate on in dating and in women. You say you’re finding only women who want bad boys (and you’re griping about it) as you describe your own bad boy credentials here. Of course that’s what you’re attracting. A fair number of the more accomplished members here wrote you off for your drug dealing right off the bat. That’s the way it works.

 

BE what you wish to attract. Not talk, but actually BE it. Don’t expect anything different until you are different.

 

If you are concerned about women not viewing men as the enemy, eliminate your own combativeness about women. If you want a career-minded and accomplished partner, be career-minded and accomplished before expecting that.

 

To be pretty blunt, if your family and social circle are not a positive influence, move. Move somewhere that you can be away from the bad influences that have affected you and cut your own path by your new standards. Be patient and diligent in making your changes for yourself. Yes, it will be lonely for a while.

 

Oh, and wanting an educated career woman who cooks isn't logical. Someone who is driven in his or her career likely isn't even home by 5, or 6.

[Krieger]

You got it.

 

Look up target fixation and consider it in terms of what you fixate on in dating and in women. You say you’re finding only women who want bad boys (and you’re griping about it) as you describe your own bad boy credentials here. Of course that’s what you’re attracting. A fair number of the more accomplished members here wrote you off for your drug dealing right off the bat. That’s the way it works.

 

BE what you wish to attract. Not talk, but actually BE it. Don’t expect anything different until you are different.

 

If you are concerned about women not viewing men as the enemy, eliminate your own combativeness about women. If you want a career-minded and accomplished partner, be career-minded and accomplished before expecting that.

To be pretty blunt, if your family and social circle are not a positive influence, move. Move somewhere that you can be away from the bad influences that have affected you and cut your own path by your new standards. Be patient and diligent in making your changes for yourself. Yes, it will be lonely for a while.

 

Oh, and wanting an educated career woman who cooks isn't logical. Someone who is driven in his or her career likely isn't even home by 5, or 6.

 

 

I am working on having a career it is just going to take time I can only take so many classes and work full time.

 

I have cut the cancer friends and family from my life that all ready been done.

 

I never said a woman has to do all the cooking she just need to know how to cook. If anything it is a life skill everyone should have.

[WomenWubber]

@op

 

"Women don't want a good man now days."

 

Nope. Scratch this.

 

*Women don't want me nowadays.*

 

This is more like it. No matter how hard you try to victimize yourself, you're not helpless in this situation. I didn't read all of your posts but it seems like you have decided to do something. I don't care what it is, it's better than whining and doing nothing. I wish you good luck.

[normal person]

I have a better idea I will just play theses woman like tiger woods played golf back in the day. That is all there good for anyway.

 

Also you have no idea how close i am to just adopting a child and being a single father and just use woman for sex and play someone to clean my house.

 

I'm sure the you kid you adopt (good luck doing that with any sort of criminal history, by the way) will be thankful for the positive role models in his/her life: a dad who's a misogynist and a mom who's a glorified sex object/maid. I'm sure the kid will grow up to be well adjusted and definitely leave a positive impact on the world.

 

After reading these posts, it's alarming how vindictive you are. I can sense your frustration but I don't think being retaliatory to an entire gender based on the actions of a few is going to solve any of your problems. It's just going to make the culture of male/female interaction worse. People have acted poorly towards you, and that's too bad. You can do two things: perpetuate the cycle and act poorly towards someone else, or create a positive change in the world and summon the strength to treat someone else the way you'd want them to treat you in spite of it.

 

I know, it's enormously frustrating when you treat people well and they don't reciprocate, but things can only get worse by sinking to that level yourself. Or when your values don't have the same weight in someone else's eyes. It might not pay off immediately, but digging deep for some combination of restraint, resilience, and optimism hopefully won't go unnoticed in the long run. The people who pay attention to that sort of thing are the ones you should be around, not the spiteful ones.

[MidwestUSA]

^^^^ Even screwed that post up unintentionally!!

 

I saw what you did there, tested me to see if I'm forgiving and compassionate. Very cute. I'm not crossing you off my list. Yet.

[GemmaUK]

Is it me or men that are worth a darn not bad enough? Well ladys I done things that will make your so called bad boy boyfriend look like a girl scout. Has you Bf been to juvenile correctional facility more than once? Also I done some drug trafficking with the intent to disrupt that if i was ever caught I would be seeing 5 to 20 years in jail so beat that. Oh not to brag but I am not talking about kids stuff I am talking about bottles full of schedule 2 prescription drugs.

 

Now I do not do that anymore and do not talk to these people or want anything to do with them. I just grow up and done with that now.

 

I said all that to prove a point that yes i can be a bad boy too try me.

 

Well you know I am working and going to college now and getting my life in order sort of speak I am not going to tell you what I field I am going into. I just do not want people to think i am a bad person.

 

That being said it seems to me that women don’t seek out comfort or stability in men anymore—they seek entertainment. They seek distraction. Once the entertainment or novelty you provide her declines—and it inevitably will she moves on to something or someone else. In essence, the only way you can keep a girl is if you adopt the mentality of a soap opera writer, adding a cliffhanger to the end of each episode that keeps a woman interested when being a good man no longer does.

 

Woman to me are more into losers with no goals or dreams in life.I am not wired to sit around all day and play ps4 . I know too many woman that put up with a guy sitting at home not wanting to work or help around the house. It seems OK for a guy not to be able to hold down a job or even try to look for one.

 

The only thing i can think of is woman want to be entertained so badly that him working will cut into that.

 

My question is why is it so hard to find a woman that wants to start a family and have kids . Yes I am all for woman working and having equal rights. My issue is some woman see men as the enemy and some woman see this as a game to one up there BF. I sorry woman it not a game if we are building a future together we are a team . I will be good at things and you will be good at things and we support one another but it seem woman are not interested in that.

 

BTW I feel I am a good man I not perfect but who is ? I Don’t care much what others think of me , great public speaker you know wakes things happen , Call people on their bull**** and have a sensitive side even thought I try to hide it some times. LOL

 

 

Sorry but I would run a mile from you.

I hold my own values and yours would not match mine at all.

[Krieger]

I'm sure the you kid you adopt (good luck doing that with any sort of criminal history, by the way) will be thankful for the positive role models in his/her life: a dad who's a misogynist and a mom who's a glorified sex object/maid. I'm sure the kid will grow up to be well adjusted and definitely leave a positive impact on the world.

 

After reading these posts, it's alarming how vindictive you are. I can sense your frustration but I don't think being retaliatory to an entire gender based on the actions of a few is going to solve any of your problems. It's just going to make the culture of male/female interaction worse. People have acted poorly towards you, and that's too bad. You can do two things: perpetuate the cycle and act poorly towards someone else, or create a positive change in the world and summon the strength to treat someone else the way you'd want them to treat you in spite of it.

 

I know, it's enormously frustrating when you treat people well and they don't reciprocate, but things can only get worse by sinking to that level yourself. Or when your values don't have the same weight in someone else's eyes. It might not pay off immediately, but digging deep for some combination of restraint, resilience, and optimism hopefully won't go unnoticed in the long run. The people who pay attention to that sort of thing are the ones you should be around, not the spiteful ones.

 

 

Well never been caught or arrested so there is no criminal record to speak of. Thank god for sealed juvenile records LOL

 

I do hate it when woman say i am a nice guy I am like NO i am not try me I can be a A hole if i need to be.

 

The funny thing is most woman think I am married they say I give off that vibe that I be taken all ready.

 

I have had girls say things like if you wanted a GF all have to do is ask.

 

Also I am some what scared to be vulnerable with woman . I am not always comfortable in my own skin. I feel like I am peripheral of every thing .

 

I am never going to be an overly happy person those people make me sick.I much rather be happy when I am happy and be in the middle not too happy but not too un happy.

[Krieger]

@op

 

"Women don't want a good man now days."

 

Nope. Scratch this.

 

*Women don't want me nowadays.*

 

This is more like it. No matter how hard you try to victimize yourself, you're not helpless in this situation. I didn't read all of your posts but it seems like you have decided to do something. I don't care what it is, it's better than whining and doing nothing. I wish you good luck.

 

Well you cant be too nice to woman but cant be too much of an A hole.

[Leigh 87]

So just because you haven't been able to attract the women you want, all women don't want a good man?

 

Making excuses is taking the easy way out to avoid facing the obvious - maybe they just weren't into you and aspects of your behavior. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result. So take a hard look at yourself and see if you have traits that don't attract women. Like being a push over, being needy, being clingy and too available, not being confident or sexually assertive enough, etc.. It is possible to be a genuinely good person, treat women well, and still have them be attracted to you. You're just making mistakes to turn them off and don't realize what you're doing.

 

Yeah it's sad when you play the victim and blame everyone else.

 

If you can't get women you're into, DO something about it and quit complaining.

 

I don't eat my feelings, I take a pill that cures my acne and gives me clear skin and I saved up for braces when I was 21.... I also changed my demeanour into a happy, positive go getter one that's all about being kind to others and enjoying my life to the fullest through hobbies, volunteering and saving for exciting overseas trips. I stopped engaging in office gossip.

 

If I didn't change, I would have stayed unattractive and unable to get the men that I'm attracted to.

 

Suck it up and do something about your situation rather than bitching about it.

 

For instance, I tend to give bad men a chance. Men who I know very likely cannot give me what I deserve relationship wise.... But I make my decision and own it. I know it's a stupid decision, it's on my back and I don't go blaming others. It's not on the guy for being a lying slime ball, I knew what they were and stuck with them out of hoping for a miracle and enjoying the sex and cuddles too much.......

 

Own your problems and stop taking our your pathetic attitude on other people.

 

There are people with REAL problems such as disease and disability and disfigurement. Live and let live for Christ sake ! More women will be attracted to a positive and upbeat dude !

[Leigh 87]

Oh God, I really hate how I cannot get all the hot men to fall all over themselves for me.

 

I am a good loving and loyal woman, they should WANT ME:lmao:

 

When I was 24, I had a fling with a hot model esque body builder. Easily an 8 or 9/10.... He informed me that " oh, you're the first girl I've banged who I haven't bothered dating" He usually went for skinny, pretty women and he'd always try to date them not just shag them casually......I was a cute 5 or 6/10 at the time as I had lost my hair from an eating disorder. I have since regained my hair and use the aid of a few extensions to maintain the thickness is was post eating disorder. I am much hotter now than I was then, however.

 

Despite looking hotter than I did back with the body builder who I was good enough to fck and not date, that man made me re evaluate how and who I felt chemistry for.

 

I made the conscience decision to stop only limiting myself to hot dudes. I dated a guy who I didn't find attractive. I grew to fall hard for him but he didn't fall for me back. And that's another story...

 

These days, I open my eyes and try to see if I feel chemistry with candidates who my 24 yr old self would never have gone near to.......

 

So not surprisingly, I no longer wonder why the hot men don't want me. Because I have learnt that I can actually feel hot chemistry for the average aussie dude, who in turn, always tend to think I am a major hottie in their eyes:lmao: I have a very positive rating outlook because I believe in betting yourself rather than just giving up and blaming men for not wanting me. Furthermore, I aim for men in my own league; men who feel LUCKY to have me!

 

IF you are open to it, you can feel great sparks for people who the old you wouldn't have even considered.

[loveweary11]

I aspire to this...

 

Hope it happens soon.

 

Oh God, I really hate how I cannot get all the hot men to fall all over themselves for me.

 

I am a good loving and loyal woman, they should WANT ME:lmao:

 

When I was 24, I had a fling with a hot model esque body builder. Easily an 8 or 9/10.... He informed me that " oh, you're the first girl I've banged who I haven't bothered dating" He usually went for skinny, pretty women and he'd always try to date them not just shag them casually......I was a cute 5 or 6/10 at the time as I had lost my hair from an eating disorder. I have since regained my hair and use the aid of a few extensions to maintain the thickness is was post eating disorder. I am much hotter now than I was then, however.

 

Despite looking hotter than I did back with the body builder who I was good enough to fck and not date, that man made me re evaluate how and who I felt chemistry for.

 

I made the conscience decision to stop only limiting myself to hot dudes. I dated a guy who I didn't find attractive. I grew to fall hard for him but he didn't fall for me back. And that's another story...

 

These days, I open my eyes and try to see if I feel chemistry with candidates who my 24 yr old self would never have gone near to.......

 

So not surprisingly, I no longer wonder why the hot men don't want me. Because I have learnt that I can actually feel hot chemistry for the average aussie dude, who in turn, always tend to think I am a major hottie in their eyes:lmao: I have a very positive rating outlook because I believe in betting yourself rather than just giving up and blaming men for not wanting me. Furthermore, I aim for men in my own league; men who feel LUCKY to have me!

 

IF you are open to it, you can feel great sparks for people who the old you wouldn't have even considered.