If a man's love is based on looks, why should I get married?

[EveAFlame]

Sometimes I wonder too, OP. If we are always told as women that men want younger and hotter and to spread their seed and blah blah blah. What's the incentive to make myself vulnerable to a man that will ditch me when I turn 30 and trade me in for a newer model?

[xxoo]

Well, I've been married over 20 years.

 

I understand that my husband appreciates my appearance, present as well as past tense.

 

I also know the difference between being loved only for my looks, and being truly loved in addition to someone loving my looks.

 

While I age, I take care of my body through diet and exercise, and enjoy looking attractive for my husband, even though I'm <gasp> not young anymore.

 

There is no gender war in our house

[thefooloftheyear]

She said don’t marry a man who “loves” you ONLY for your looks, not that a man who loves your looks has none of those positive traits.

 

Fair enough, and maybe I shouldnt have quoted that post...

 

But really, no guy would ever tell a woman that he likes/loves her only for her looks...so you really may never know...Just like most guys wont tell a woman they dumped that they don't like the way the look anymore...They'll come up with some other bs reason...

 

I dunno...It just seems like any guy who seeks only women who fit certain physical characteristics are usually slammed to hell by women...They don't like it, because in their eyes, its "not fair"...Yet women seem to have no issue ruling out guys based on height, penis size, wallet size, or whatever..

 

TFY

[123321]

Well, I've been married over 20 years.

 

I understand that my husband appreciates my appearance, present as well as past tense.

 

I also know the difference between being loved only for my looks, and being truly loved in addition to someone loving my looks.

 

While I age, I take care of my body through diet and exercise, and enjoy looking attractive for my husband, even though I'm <gasp> not young anymore.

 

There is no gender war in our house

 

It's nice you try to take care of yourself, but in my book sexy is as sexy does(*) and so on.

 

 

*You were pretty enough to marry, you're over that hurdle

[Robert Z]

Sometimes I wonder too, OP. If we are always told as women that men want younger and hotter and to spread their seed and blah blah blah. What's the incentive to make myself vulnerable to a man that will ditch me when I turn 30 and trade me in for a newer model?

 

 

You were also told that 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Where is the evidence that men trade in their wives for younger models beyond what you are "told"?

[thefooloftheyear]

Sometimes I wonder too, OP. If we are always told as women that men want younger and hotter and to spread their seed and blah blah blah. What's the incentive to make myself vulnerable to a man that will ditch me when I turn 30 and trade me in for a newer model?

 

And a guy could just as easily say "well. what if she dumps me later on in life because i lose my good job and we need to sell the house she loves..or what if I cant get it up, or what if I go bald",...blah blah..

 

Its all meaningless projection that no one has control of...

 

TFY

[xxoo]

It's nice you try to take care of yourself, but in my book sexy is as sexy does(*) and so on.

 

 

*You were pretty enough to marry, you're over that hurdle

 

In my book, sexy does as sexy feels. So I work out

[No Limit]

ditch me when I turn 30

 

40 is actually more likely.

[Robert Z]

I dunno...It just seems like any guy who seeks only women who fit certain physical characteristics are usually slammed to hell by women...They don't like it, because in their eyes, its "not fair"...Yet women seem to have no issue ruling out guys based on height, penis size, wallet size, or whatever..

 

TFY

 

 

No kidding. Just read threads where women discuss men that were rejected, and why. And we all know the relationship between having a hot car and getting laid.

[Robert Z]

In my book, sexy does as sexy feels. So I work out

 

 

And more than that, you make the effort. You care.

[Anela]

40 is actually more likely.

 

Lovely.

 

I was going to say that you're young, and will see what the problem is (in this thread, or on this board) when you're older... except that it would have bothered me at your age, too.

[EveAFlame]

You were also told that 80% of divorces are initiated by women. Where is the evidence that men trade in their wives for younger models beyond what you are "told"?

 

I've actually had 3 relatives, my mother being one, who was FORCED to file because their husbands smacked them around or shacked up with a new girlfriend. In those cases, the husband ended the relationship but took no action to end the legal entanglement.

 

So the person who files for the divorce is not necessarily the one who ended the marriage.

[thefooloftheyear]

As a dedicated gym guy, I simply cannot believe the amount of women in their 40's and 50's(some older) that train hard and look absolutely amazing!...These are women that have kids that are in their 20's and they look better than their kids!(no I am not kidding)...

 

I don't know if they have had boob jobs or some facial work, but I think most of it is just plain hard work and self pride...And I am sure their husbands appreciate the hell out of it...

 

There are so many things in this life we cant control.....this isnt one of them..

 

TFY

[No Limit]

No kidding. Just read threads where women discuss men that were rejected, and why. And we all know the relationship between having a hot car and getting laid.

 

Don't even need the car. While visiting the city yesterday I went to our Starbucks' top floor and watched the street through the window. On the other side of the street was a Marco Polo shop with 2 James Bond-like looking suits - almost every woman that passed this shop looked at those suits, compared to two or three guys.

 

You have to look expensive, that's enough. Make it a weekend trip to a neighbour city in a fancy hotel, get that James Bond outfit and have fun.

[Robert Z]

I've actually had 3 relatives, my mother being one, who was FORCED to file because their husbands smacked them around or shacked up with a new girlfriend. In those cases, the husband ended the relationship but took no action to end the legal entanglement.

 

So the person who files for the divorce is not necessarily the one who ended the marriage.

 

 

My question was, where is the evidence that men trade in their wives for younger models.

[Anela]

No kidding. Just read threads where women discuss men that were rejected, and why. And we all know the relationship between having a hot car and getting laid.

 

The last man I crushed on, had almost no money, but he's a decent man, who loves his friends and family.

[123321]

So the person who files for the divorce is not necessarily the one who ended the marriage.

 

Human behavior tells me the person most likely to benefit is the one most likely to file.

[Robert Z]

The last man I crushed on, had almost no money, but he's a decent man, who loves his friends and family.

 

That's fine and dandy. But you didn't marry him, did you.

[Robert Z]

Don't even need the car. While visiting the city yesterday I went to our Starbucks' top floor and watched the street through the window. On the other side of the street was a Marco Polo shop with 2 James Bond-like looking suits - almost every woman that passed this shop looked at those suits, compared to two or three guys.

 

You have to look expensive, that's enough. Make it a weekend trip to a neighbour city in a fancy hotel, get that James Bond outfit and have fun.

 

 

Yep, it isn't hard to figure out the game. You just have to think superficially. That's one reason I now find escorts appealing. At least it's honest.

[Anela]

It's the internet dude, this place filled with feminist. Real life isn't that bad, that's why I don't take this place seriously.

 

Really? I get to read on a regular basis, that I'm past it at 40. That's one reason I didn't want to be here the other day - aside from the fact that these threads give me a damned headache. The people here are *real*. You might get those who are known to just wind people up, but you guys are real aren't you? Meaning I have a good chance of running into these attitudes in person.

[Anela]

That's fine and dandy. But you didn't marry him, did you.

 

That would involve him being attracted to me, as well, wouldn't it? Unless I was supposed to kidnap him.

[Anela]

Loveshack is turning into one big gender war.

Brb, living real life

 

Me, too.

 

.......

[Robert Z]

Really? I get to read on a regular basis, that I'm past it at 40. That's one reason I didn't want to be here the other day - aside from the fact that these threads give me a damned headache. The people here are *real*. You might get those who are known to just wind people up, but you guys are real aren't you? Meaning I have a good chance of running into these attitudes in person.

 

 

Yep, I always assumed I would want to marry again. But after three years here I may never want to marry again. My worst fears about women's attitudes have been confirmed in spades. Always always always blame men!!! It is like a broken record. And it is automatic. Who the hell wants to live with that?

[jay1983]

As a dedicated gym guy, I simply cannot believe the amount of women in their 40's and 50's(some older) that train hard and look absolutely amazing!...These are women that have kids that are in their 20's and they look better than their kids!(no I am not kidding)...

 

I don't know if they have had boob jobs or some facial work, but I think most of it is just plain hard work and self pride...And I am sure their husbands appreciate the hell out of it...

 

There are so many things in this life we cant control.....this isnt one of them..

 

TFY

 

Good job skipping over this ^

 

and ignore the 32 year old who also finds older women attractive and uses his pic for his avatar so you can see he's not an ugly fat fu*k. (I wish there was a hand clap emoticon)

 

Really? I get to read on a regular basis, that I'm past it at 40. That's one reason I didn't want to be here the other day - aside from the fact that these threads give me a damned headache. The people here are *real*. You might get those who are known to just wind people up, but you guys are real aren't you? Meaning I have a good chance of running into these attitudes in person.

[BlueIris]

Fair enough, and maybe I shouldnt have quoted that post...

 

But really, no guy would ever tell a woman that he likes/loves her only for her looks...so you really may never know...Just like most guys wont tell a woman they dumped that they don't like the way the look anymore...They'll come up with some other bs reason...

 

I dunno...It just seems like any guy who seeks only women who fit certain physical characteristics are usually slammed to hell by women...They don't like it, because in their eyes, its "not fair"...Yet women seem to have no issue ruling out guys based on height, penis size, wallet size, or whatever..

 

TFY

 

I agree and it is something one might wonder. That’s why I think it’s so important to make sure your boyfriend likes and loves other things about you and that there are other points of connection.

 

I don’t slam people for choosing a certain look, or any certain trait. But maybe that’s because I choose men by the way they think and view the world. I’m unfair I suppose. But I don’t care! And I never thought love and romantic relationships ever had ANYTHING to do with fairness.