Clarkwg Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Was still feeling really good today, still am! She called me again this afternoon...twice. I didn't answer. Then i receive a picture message with a picture of a meal she cooked - my special recipe. She said that it's still her favourite. I blocked her number straight away and will not unblock it. She's not heartless - she's just clueless and selfish. Though many would say that a combination of the two makes someone heartless... Good lad, it's for the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Share Posted May 9, 2015 Yeah it's well overdue. I'm too scared to read back this entire thread. My brain has blocked out most of it. Only looking forward now 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Good for you! That would annoy me so much if my ex started sending me pointless pictures. She sounds very selfish and clearly loves the attention. Glad you're rising above it Link to post Share on other sites
NoLeafClover Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 Was still feeling really good today, still am! She called me again this afternoon...twice. I didn't answer. Then i receive a picture message with a picture of a meal she cooked - my special recipe. She said that it's still her favourite. I blocked her number straight away and will not unblock it. She's not heartless - she's just clueless and selfish. Though many would say that a combination of the two makes someone heartless... It's good you are blocking her but I still think you are a bit delusional because you are not seeing her actions for what they are. I find thing a weakness in you. Go back and read you post on top of the first page and tell me where do you see her ever apologizing and ever telling you that she cares.If you partner is banging another person, keeping it secret and then to leave you for the person they chested on you with ....THAT IS HEARTLESS. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 (edited) Was still feeling really good today, still am! She called me again this afternoon...twice. I didn't answer. Then i receive a picture message with a picture of a meal she cooked - my special recipe. She said that it's still her favourite. I blocked her number straight away and will not unblock it. She's not heartless - she's just clueless and selfish. Though many would say that a combination of the two makes someone heartless... Yeah, I mean, it's pretty heartless. Would you send that kind of picture to an ex? I don't think you need an exorbitantly high IQ to figure out that when you break someone's heart, you leave them alone. She keeps in contact with you to alleviate her guilt. It's a common thing to do when you dump someone. Especially since she cheated on you, she needs find a way to alleviate her guilt. When you are cheated on, the pattern seems to follow one of two extremes. The ex either completely blocks you and demonizes you (to justify the act of cheating), or they keep you around as a backup and claim "friendship." I've seen both play out on LS. Your has shown extremely poor boundaries and very selfish behavior. My ex would do this kind of BS. He would send me a picture of the flowers I had planted at the house or send a text saying he was wearing a shirt I had bought him. It's all the same craziness. They are trying to get you on their side and make out like they are the nice guy. These actions are all about THEIR feelings, not yours. They don't genuinely want you to see a nice picture of think or a nice memory. They aren't genuinely reminiscing about the good old days with you. They are using that memory as leverage against you in a cruel and selfish way. Guilt will eat away at people and make them do strange things, but it's not your job to help her work through the guilt. If she has guilt for her actions, she needs to feel the guilt. It's called consequences. Edited May 9, 2015 by BC1980 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 ^ Brilliant post above, couldn't agree more! It will take you a while longer to knock your ex off her pedestal... before you can see her for who she really is. Cheaters are the WORST at breaking appropriate boundaries after a breakup so it's a good thing you've blocked her on your phone. Be sure she's blocked everywhere online as well -- on every site and app you use. She shouldn't be able to send you emails, either.... once she realizes she can't text you breadcrumbs anymore, emails will be next. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Share Posted May 9, 2015 She can't send me emails - i blocked her on my hotmail and also my student email. she literally has no way off contacting me besides showing up at my house.... I read back through the whole thread......holy ****. I am an idiot. Ive been out tonight, drinking. I find myself very angry. I really want to send her a text message. Though, i know never to text when drunk - so if i so decide to - it will be tomorrow when im thinking clearly.... I want to send her a text telling her what a horrible person she is for doing all this to me. Also, i want to cheapen her relationship with this new guy. I WANT to tell her she is going to end up exactly like her father. (cheated on her mother and left), she hates him. I'll probably wake up fine - not angry, and not send a message. Mainly because im really sick of the drama. Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 so if i so decide to - it will be tomorrow when im thinking clearly.... Nope, don't even do that. Stay NC Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 She can't send me emails - i blocked her on my hotmail and also my student email. she literally has no way off contacting me besides showing up at my house.... I read back through the whole thread......holy ****. I am an idiot. Ive been out tonight, drinking. I find myself very angry. I really want to send her a text message. Though, i know never to text when drunk - so if i so decide to - it will be tomorrow when im thinking clearly.... I want to send her a text telling her what a horrible person she is for doing all this to me. Also, i want to cheapen her relationship with this new guy. I WANT to tell her she is going to end up exactly like her father. (cheated on her mother and left), she hates him. I'll probably wake up fine - not angry, and not send a message. Mainly because im really sick of the drama. It's easy to justify things when you are in an emotional fog and love someone. I used to make all kinds of justifications for my ex. It was unreal and makes me cringe now. You really have to try to look at stuff logically right now. The anger is all normal, but don't make the mistake of sending her an angry text. She would love for you to do that because it shows you are still affected by her. She would feed off of that. Of course, you are still affected, but she doesn't need to know that. Just write out the angry letter and throw it away/ Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 9, 2015 Share Posted May 9, 2015 No way -- stick to your No Contact! You've been SO GOOD up until now, don't blow it. Tomorrow I guarantee you're going to have a clear head and you'll be so glad you stuck to your NC!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Anon, You are without a doubt the cruellest, most heartless human being I have ever encounted in my life. You don’t posess the emotional depth or empathy to truly understand exactly what you did to me. All the crying and the ‘I felt so unloved’ was all bull****. It was just your guilt coming out because you know how you just destroyed someones livelihood and didn’t want to be the bad guy. I tried so ****ing hard to help you through this – because you’ve cleary shown that your immature and weren’t ready for a commited relationship – and you just through it all back on my face. You never loved me, I don’t think your capable of love. Because if you did, you would have talked to me about your feelings like an adult before opening up your legs to the first dude that’s nice to you. You are such a ****ing coward, Anon. You disrespected me, you disrespected my family and most of all you disrespected yourself. You want to know why I’ve got so many friends and you don’t? Because im an honest, caring, good person that would never do anything intentionally to hurt anyone. And you wonder why I’m negative and cynical? It’s because selfish pieces of **** like you ruin good peoples lives. When your long distance rebound cheats on YOU – and trust me, he’s going to – because he already knows what your capable of and could never trust you - you will have no right to be upset. All the hours and days I’ve wasted trying to make sure that you were ok – I truly hate myself for that. I decided to be a matyr to your crime because I knew I could handle it better, but you don’t deserve another second of my thoughts. I loved you, helped you with everything you needed, lived with you, cooked for you, cleaned for you, shared your hopes, dreams, fears and insecurities and wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. Thank you so much for self-selecting yourself out of my life – I dodged a ****ing bullet and will always be on guard for humans like you. You should call your father, he’d be proud your following in his footsteps. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Dear God never send that. Ever. 11 Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I agree, don't send it! She will resent you and will take it as a compliment sadly enough, because you are giving her attention. Silence really is the best revenge and it speaks so much louder than the words you wrote. I did a similar thread a week or so ago (called realisations I think..). I wanted to give my ex a piece of my mind because I realised how he was during the relationship and it doesn't seem fair that we are left picking up the pieces. But I've learnt now that it's a lost cause. Your ex will probably take it as an insult and rationalise the break up even more. Just vent on here instead Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Humour me by telling me what that would make her think. Would it make her feel bad? hate me? feel good? I am genuinly interested because have absolutely no idea what goes on such a deceivers mind. Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Hate to say it ...but what will this achieve. 5 to 10 secs of warmth for you. Anon won't probably give it a second look. Don't be silly. Silence is golden. Forget move on, rinse and repeat. Forget move on. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 It's just so unfair, you know? I've plummeted into the depths of clinical depression, yet again. No amount of of SSRI's, exercise, meditation has helped me a bit. I'm depressed because, for the second time, i've let another one of these demons walk all over me. My previous girlfriend lied about her being pregnant, funelled a heap of money out of me to pay for all the doctors appointments and ultrasounds etc - She always managed to book these appointments at the last minute whilst i was at work, so i could never go. So after 1.5 months of me thinking i was going to be a father (20yrs old at time) she decides to get an abortion - which i payed for ($900), she then ses 'she wants to go alone because she feels ashamed' and wouldnt let me come. So off she goes - i dont hear from her for 3 days as she wont answer her phone. i then get a text saying 'we're done, i've met someone else'. I spoke to her friend afterwards.....she was never pregnant...it was all a lie because she wanted money to go overseas with this guy. Now i've been betrayed again, by someone who i thought was the sweetest person. I am so angry and dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerbang Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 No one died and you've got your health. It's only a girl. You've a whole new world in front of you now, embrace it. Your pain will pass eventually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Maverick27. Dig deep my friend. I to have depression and have for many a years after my wife of 10 years had an affair. I got through that and Ill get through my current break up and so will you ! What helps me is I know I'm I good person and find strength in that ! Your obliviously a good person so find strength in that yourself. Your just vulnerable at this moment. Hang in there ! Time will heal... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 I just want her to understand the hurt she put me through. If sending that message will not phase her - then i want to tell her that I've decided that im going to contact her new BF and tell him the truth about her. I just want to make her sweat, and that would... Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Humour me by telling me what that would make her think. Would it make her feel bad? hate me? feel good? I am genuinly interested because have absolutely no idea what goes on such a deceivers mind. She'd probably get a good laugh at it and show all her friends. Other than that, she probably wouldn't give it much thought other than maybe a quick initial reaction of "WTF". I know if an ex sent me that, I'd just know that they aren't over me and that I made the right choice of not being with that person anymore. I'd be glad I saw their "true colors". Just food for thought. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Just live well without her. Now that you are free live it up and enjoy yourself since summer is coming. Nothing eats at the soul of people like her than seeing that. She sees you happy without her and it is like a knife straight through the heart but it shouldn't be about that for you anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Don`t give her the satisfaction of knowing how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
C0nfused1980 Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I've been following your story. You are obviously a nice person who truly cared for this girl so I get that you are angry. However, why are you trying to sink down to her level? You know you're the better person - having her 'sweat' for a few hours or even a day or two is not worth it. All that will happen is she will end up thinking you're pathetic, it will validate all her reasons for the break up and ultimately, instead of one day regretting that she let a good guy go, she will be glad she got rid of a low life because that's how you will look to her. Maintain your dignity, trust that this fury you are feeling right now will pass, let yourself feel the hurt that comes after crazy bouts of anger (it does for me anyway) and have fate. Ultimately, you will at least respect yourself for doing the right thing. Link to post Share on other sites
sowhynot Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Sorry mate, she honestly won't give a monkeys - in fact she'll probably think you're just bitter and twisted and therefore she was right to dump you. I wouldn't waste the money on the stamp to send it, even less the time to write it. Put it down to experience and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Humour me by telling me what that would make her think. Would it make her feel bad? hate me? feel good? I am genuinly interested because have absolutely no idea what goes on such a deceivers mind. She'll either laugh at it or think you're a crazy person, or both. Link to post Share on other sites
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