ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I would do it as quickly and painlessly as possible. How long has it been since you broke up? If it has been awhile, I'd say the in-person route is fine. If it hasn't been that long, maybe hold off on seeing her in person so she can have a little more time to "miss you". That is, of course, if you want her back. If you don't, and you think showing her the new you will help you feel better, then it wouldn't hurt to see her in person. It's always nice to have the last image of you in someone's mind as favorable. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseHeart Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Imagine her coming over and seeing you and despite all the changes you never hear from her again.. if the idea of that sounds painful then option 1 is better. If you are genuinely over her and can be honest about it then option 2 is better. Be careful of putting all your hope into something that might not even work. Just seeing that your ex is looking better is not going necessarily going to ignite anything within them. It's usually they themselves who realize on their own that they miss you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hamster-girl Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 RoseHeart's on the money. Expect the worse case scenario. You invite her around, you're "at your best", a changed man... and she doesn't give two hoots. It may feel pretty deflating. Option 1, all day long. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm definitely not over her. Definitely not. She's with someone else now. Which kills me, however, i've accepted it. Obviously i want to choose option 2. It is important to me that she sees me looking well and having my **** together - and not this steaming pile of broken-heart **** - which is the portrait of myself i painted the last time i saw her. If i do decide to meet her, i will NOT talk about the past. Many would say - 'It doesnt matter what she thinks, she's not in your life anymore', however i will take any little bit of satisfaction i can get at this point. I'm not going to do it until next week (even though the papers will come tomorrow) - just so i can give myself a little extra time to heal and decide if it is best if i see her or not. The last thing i want is another impulsive meet up like last time....and end up crying like a little bitch 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Starks Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 The Mystery Road: - Get her to come over to my place, firstly sign the forms - then get her to stick around for a coffee or something, be at my absolute best and show her what she's missing. dude, it's spring. you think she is not gonna be looking at her best? Nice tan, good mood and probably in a beautifull summer dress? You're gonna be back at square one when she leaves. You'll also feel pathetic if she doesn't care one bit about this new you Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 It's Autumn and freezing here in Melbourne! The average-mans time to look his best But i see your point. Wow - i could NOT handle seeing her in her little summer dress, i would probably have to call an ambulance 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 It's Autumn and freezing here in Melbourne! The average-mans time to look his best But i see your point. Wow - i could NOT handle seeing her in her little summer dress, i would probably have to call an ambulance Hi maverick I come from Melbourne too! I wonder how many of these forumers are from Australia too Link to post Share on other sites
Starks Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 It's Autumn and freezing here in Melbourne! The average-mans time to look his best But i see your point. Wow - i could NOT handle seeing her in her little summer dress, i would probably have to call an ambulance dress or no dress. you can bet your ass she has the mind set as everybody else about looking good in front of your ex. she's gonna look good, she's gonna smell good.. and she's gonna walk out that door and leave you there feeling like **** 1 Link to post Share on other sites
quattrob Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm definitely not over her. Definitely not. She's with someone else now. Which kills me, however, i've accepted it. Obviously i want to choose option 2. It is important to me that she sees me looking well and having my **** together - and not this steaming pile of broken-heart **** - which is the portrait of myself i painted the last time i saw her. If i do decide to meet her, i will NOT talk about the past. Many would say - 'It doesnt matter what she thinks, she's not in your life anymore', however i will take any little bit of satisfaction i can get at this point. I'm not going to do it until next week (even though the papers will come tomorrow) - just so i can give myself a little extra time to heal and decide if it is best if i see her or not. The last thing i want is another impulsive meet up like last time....and end up crying like a little bitch Is this really necessary? first of all, if your motive is to show what she's missing out and how good you look now etc, then I feel really sorry for you. It is quite sad that you would even consider to do this for satisfaction (I can almost guarantee that you won't be satisfied, in fact you''ll realize how pathetic a move it is). She won't give a **** about how well you look or are doing because she's going to walk out that door of yours and go home to her new BF that gives her the attention. Option 2 is a terrible terrible idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Please.... after everything you've been through..... battling NC over and over in just these few weeks..... are you kidding me??? Of course you take the so-called "Lonely Road" and DON'T HAVE CONTACT!! She lied. She cheated. She dumped you for the other guy. Stick to your No Contact. You've begged and pleaded and apologized enough -- from now on, it's all about YOU and YOUR life, your healing. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerbang Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Don't be an idiot. Scan whatever you need and send them, you don't even need to include text probably. If you meet her it'll break you. She doesn't give a sh*t what you look like, and all your changes will feel like they've been in vain. Be the bigger man and don't meet her. She doesn't want you back and probably never will. If she did she'd reach out herself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Scheming around tells me you're looking for a reason to break nc. There is one option really. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) Hey buddy if I were you, I would probably act indifferent like you don't care. Just do the business and get her out of your face. Move onto bigger and better things in life. Edited May 6, 2015 by imbax Link to post Share on other sites
RoseHeart Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm definitely not over her. Definitely not. She's with someone else now. Which kills me, however, i've accepted it. There's absolutely NO reason to then see her in person if she has moved on. Nothing will change neither will anything good come of it. Option 1 it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I see you still haven't learned from all the other times you broke it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Certain posters should NEVER break NC and I'm sorry to say it but you fall into this category. Option 1 is the only answer. Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Hey guys, if my graduation is coming up next week and during the break up talk I promised my ex-girlfriend that I would take photos with her for one last time to remember the good times we had spending our uni life studying. I sort of feel like I am doing her a favour and at the same time I want to take these photos too (for old times sake). But on the day, how should I go about it? If I don't bump into her do I text her and ask her where she is so that we can take photos together? Or should I just wait and if she doesn't contact or see me then forget it? Sticky situation I am in. We have been in NC for 10 days, it feels so long but seeing her at graduation would break NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Hey guys, if my graduation is coming up next week and during the break up talk I promised my ex-girlfriend that I would take photos with her for one last time to remember the good times we had spending our uni life studying. I sort of feel like I am doing her a favour and at the same time I want to take these photos too (for old times sake). But on the day, how should I go about it? If I don't bump into her do I text her and ask her where she is so that we can take photos together? Or should I just wait and if she doesn't contact or see me then forget it? Sticky situation I am in. We have been in NC for 10 days, it feels so long but seeing her at graduation would break NC. No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! No pictures, no contact, no nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
seminoles84 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Hey guys, if my graduation is coming up next week and during the break up talk I promised my ex-girlfriend that I would take photos with her for one last time to remember the good times we had spending our uni life studying. I sort of feel like I am doing her a favour and at the same time I want to take these photos too (for old times sake). But on the day, how should I go about it? If I don't bump into her do I text her and ask her where she is so that we can take photos together? Or should I just wait and if she doesn't contact or see me then forget it? Sticky situation I am in. We have been in NC for 10 days, it feels so long but seeing her at graduation would break NC. First, you should start or include this in your own thread. That said... NO PICTURES. Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Sorry about this, okay then. I won't contact her if she doesn't come to me. If she insists then I will take pictures with her. Too hurtful Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright. Option 1 it is, i will email her the forms. I already sent her a very short neutral text saying that i need her to sign the forms, and that was it. I will send her another whenever i receive them just to tell her i have emailed them and to return them. I want to see her so bad, but your all right - NO good will come of it. I appreciate that blasting i got from this. What about option 3) have one of my really hot lady friends over - posing as my girlfriend when she comes to sign the form?! Kidding...or am i? Yes im kidding. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby65 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Sorry about this, okay then. I won't contact her if she doesn't come to me. If she insists then I will take pictures with her. Too hurtful Have no contact with her during the graduation. That means, avoid her and if you see her approach, you walk away. If she somehow surprises you, corners you and "insists" you take pictures, you can "insist" you get back together first. And then walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerbang Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Hey guys, if my graduation is coming up next week and during the break up talk I promised my ex-girlfriend that I would take photos with her for one last time to remember the good times we had spending our uni life studying. I sort of feel like I am doing her a favour and at the same time I want to take these photos too (for old times sake). But on the day, how should I go about it? If I don't bump into her do I text her and ask her where she is so that we can take photos together? Or should I just wait and if she doesn't contact or see me then forget it? Sticky situation I am in. We have been in NC for 10 days, it feels so long but seeing her at graduation would break NC. If you think she's going to want to take photographs with you, you should seriously commit yourself to a mental health institute at this stage. "Look my darling children, here's your mother with a guy I dumped shortly before these photos were taken, I've cherished them all these years! Don't tell your father!" Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Okay, good advice here. I think she genuinely wants to be friends and take photos with me. But if she doesn't I am cool with that as well. I am just confused what she wants. If she wants to take photos with me....I don't know... I am not one to turn down people with nice offers, it's just not my nature to be hostile to anyone no matter who they are...She told me she wants to take photos with me and be my friend but I haven't heard from her ever since so I am really confused. I guess I'll just play it cool and see how it goes. I feel quite broken inside that all our success had led to the failure of this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Maverick27 Posted May 8, 2015 Author Share Posted May 8, 2015 Sometimes, when I'm in a bad place and really missing her, i find myself hoping that there is some tragedy in her life that brings her back to me for support. I dont like having these thoughts, but im having them all the same. I realise how pathetic they are aswell... I dont want her to be happy. I want her to be sad. Does this mean i dont truly love her? Does this make me selfish? Do you believe in unconditional love? Has anyone ever loved someone so much that they are happy to let them go into another mans arms? Link to post Share on other sites
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