Morro72 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I guess Bryanguy has lost interest in his own thread. Perhaps the OP is off doing something crazy like, say, interacting with his wife, or, who knows, maybe even following some of the helpful suggestions he's gotten here. Maybe there are even parts of his life that have nothing to do with any of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Hi Italianjob, Sorry but I didn't mean to step on anyone's toes. Was just expressing my opinion. I'll take your advice and "Hold my horses" on this thread till there is something to comment on. Warm wishes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BryanGuy Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 It has been a while since I have last updated. Been trying to work things out. Our marriage has been up and down, One week great, the next week she been sneaking around. She has been more careful about her text messages, deleting them, but I still see some. One text I saw before it was deleted was a site like Flickr and had a password. Looks like it's her co-workers site and she has several galleries of pics, some with my wife. A few weeks ago, I saw one gallery with those pictures of the party that was on face book and another gallery of my wife around the office wearing skimpy clothing. I did not say anything at the time because I did not want the password changed, and things were getting better between us. A few nights ago, I saw a new gallery. My wife was at a club, she was dancing with other guys and basically their hands and bodies were all over my wife. I am torn between confronting her now, or waiting to see if one day there might be proof she is cheating. Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 And you do not think what she is doing now is cheating??? Involved with co workers Going out to clubs with other men groping her.??? I gues you are waiting for her to invite you to watch. And all this time and you are not confronting her????? I hope you are getting some help for co-depedency. You seem to be ready to accept anything she does in order to keep her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
m.snow Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) hehe its time. to do what people here do.. its time.. to make things interesting time to get a PI! (private investigator time!) time to get the whole shebang; key loggers, var, gps trackers. complete your profile; how many children do you have together? how long have you been married? do you live in apartment or house? is your sex life healthy? whats your job? who earns more you or her? since your wife is smart, you should cover your tracks! do clear the history after using the computer. don't confront her yet! continue to gather evidence, or she will make you look like a fool. and pin the marital problems on your insecurities. don't flinch first continue to shower her with love and affection. Edited July 7, 2015 by m.snow Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 If it were my wife I'd encourage her to see another man - specifically, my attorney. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Why are you still allowing yourself to become second place to her coworkers? Why are you allowing her a party life that doesn't include you? Set some boundaries or make the decision to go your own ways because that is what appears to be happening anyway. If she won't stop her flirting then remove yourself, you need to feel safe in your relationship. This is her way of telling you she likes her new relationship with her coworkers better than the relationship she has with you. You should talk to a lawyer if nothing is changing in a positive way. The older female friend is using your wife to attract men for herself. Why is she at a club without you? Edited July 7, 2015 by aliveagain 3 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Why do you need proof? I really don't think you want a video of the action! Plain and simple, by her very lies she is cheating on your marriage. As I said in an earlier post you can't love her back. Time to see an attorney and begin to move on in life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 I would suggest getting screen captures of these photos. As her husband, YOU have the right to do this. The behavior that you know about so far may not fit a textbook definition of an affair, but IMO it is cheating, disrespectful, betraying behavior. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dental Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Goodness gracious! Have you noticed that a lot of people reacting to your story beginning their posts with why? That's what I'm asking myself also. Why. Why is OP this apathetically passive? Why doesn't OP put his foot down? Then I'm wondering, perhaps he (subconsciously) likes his situation. Perhaps OP is a cuckold. But then, why does he come here, asking questions. OP, what exactly do you want? If I (and others) don't know, how can we help? Or, do you even want help? Very confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Poutrew Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 If you don't want to spend (or have) the money to go the PI rout, there are still things you can do to find out the extent of her subterfuge. You can get a GPS tracker for her car, and put a digital voice recorder in her car under the seat. Download the voice file into your computer every night so you can go over whatever it has recorded, and put in a fresh set of batteries for the next day. Also consider key logging her computer. Don't go the cheap rout and use a free program. A good one will cost you a hundred but it will download all its info to a internet accessible account so you can check up on her computer or laptop no matter where on earth you or it is. You will be able to get access to her private accounts when you know what those passwords are. I'd bet she has private Facebook pages she uses with her coworkers to co-ordinate her activities through. Don't be surprised when you finally find out just how far your wife has fallen down the rabbit hole... For example, I'd bet the male coworker who picked her up in that bikini is also in on it. Just remember, you are not doing this just to find out how skanky your wife is, but to obtain evidence you are going to need for the upcoming divorce, and to keep your assets. Link to post Share on other sites
Silveron Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Wow.. really, how long does this need to go on? She has ZERO respect for you. If she is not physically cheating now it's only a matter of time. She is emotionally cheating on you and spending time with OTHER men when she should be with you. She sounds like she has the emotional IQ of a teenager. Talking to her won't help. Honestly she sounds like she might have BPD (Borderline personality disorder). Google it, there is a trait test online you can take to see if she fits the disorder. You need to stop tolerating this! As long as you do this, she will continue to disrespect you. Confront her and make strict boundaries. If she walks so be it, she would end up walking anyways. Trust me as a husband who is in a similar situation, I am done with my marriage. Too many beautiful, loving women out there. The only difference is that I have a young daughter I have to think about. The bond between me and my wife is gone. Too much of this kind of BS that you are experiencing now has destroyed that trust. Let her know that you want a separation and the only recourse for her is to get into counseling. Anything else you are just being played as a fool. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 So this has been going on for almost 4 months and things look worse now than when you first posted. So here is a serious question - what have you actually DONE to address this situation? By that I mean what actions have you taken to either A- find out how far things have gone with her? Or B- put a stop to this and set some boundaries? Have you taken ANY of the advice people have offered such as installing key loggers, VARs, GPS trackers, checking phone bills etc etc? Have you laid down any expectations on how you expect her to behave as a wife? Have you simply even told her in no uncertain terms that hounding want her out partying in bikinis with other men? What have you done other than check out her bikini party pictures on Facebook the next day after she's been out living it up? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 OP I promise you she's already physically cheated; hell, she's become the hoe of her workplace! It's not just this one co-worker anymore, it's all of them! It's basically like gallon's story of his ex. Way too late to save your marriage now, get an attorney and protect yourself. And your assets. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Bryan, why don't you go to these clubs and parties with her? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Bryan, why don't you go to these clubs and parties with her? Incognito perhaps? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 It has been a while since I have last updated. Been trying to work things out. Our marriage has been up and down, One week great, the next week she been sneaking around. She has been more careful about her text messages, deleting them, but I still see some. One text I saw before it was deleted was a site like Flickr and had a password. Looks like it's her co-workers site and she has several galleries of pics, some with my wife. A few weeks ago, I saw one gallery with those pictures of the party that was on face book and another gallery of my wife around the office wearing skimpy clothing. I did not say anything at the time because I did not want the password changed, and things were getting better between us. A few nights ago, I saw a new gallery. My wife was at a club, she was dancing with other guys and basically their hands and bodies were all over my wife. I am torn between confronting her now, or waiting to see if one day there might be proof she is cheating. Is there a reason why you intend to work things out when she's not acting like she's married - and doesn't respect and love you? What logic are you using to determine staying married - or not? Link to post Share on other sites
Running Man Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 At this point your either a Cuck, a troll, or an incredibly naive desperate individual that's scared he can't find another woman. 1)What other proof do you need besides actually seeing another man's D@#K stuck in your "wife"?? 2)What limit your going to accept/allow your "wife" to act like she needs #1 to happen?? Link to post Share on other sites
Just a Guy Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 It seems to me that the OP is a closet c***old and is actually enjoying the activities of his wife as a voyeur. I say this because I have not seen any signs of him being disgusted with his wife's behaviour or in any way being indignant and upset with what she is doing. Who knows he may even be tacitly encouraging her to follow this path. In such a case I don't really know why he is posting here. It certainly is not to get help and advice! Link to post Share on other sites
cgiles Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 It seems to me that the OP is a closet c***old and is actually enjoying the activities of his wife as a voyeur. I say this because I have not seen any signs of him being disgusted with his wife's behaviour or in any way being indignant and upset with what she is doing. Who knows he may even be tacitly encouraging her to follow this path. In such a case I don't really know why he is posting here. It certainly is not to get help and advice! Or he is just a nice guy who can't imagine his wife cheating on him... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 This thread started in March and you are still at the point of sitting around watching it all unfold around you and you have done NOTHING to either stop it or confront her with any meaningful action. It is obvious either you are enjoying this in some sexual way or you really need someprofessional help. Can't figure out what any advice that anyone could give you that has not been posted. Your wife is banging other men and living the single life. End of story. You are being cuckolded. I think you should google the term. In the beginning everyomne with good reason was empathetic for you, but you have ignored what everyone has been telling you now for months. Enjoy yourself. I am sure your wife is. When you want to do something productive these people posting to you will help you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 I did not say anything at the time because I did not want the password changed, and things were getting better between us. A few nights ago, I saw a new gallery. My wife was at a club, she was dancing with other guys and basically their hands and bodies were all over my wife. I am torn between confronting her now, or waiting to see if one day there might be proof she is cheating. I'm beginning to think YOU are the problem here instead of your wife! It just doesn't seem normal for a man to sit back and let his wife act like a h*e. Makes me begin to question whether you have self-esteem or low-self worth issues that you feel you have to tolerate her disrespect of her marriage??? She's behaving this way simply because you allow it! Whether you intended to or not, you've shown her that you are ok with her actions by not stepping up and dealing with it like a man! Are you so desperate to remain with this woman that you can't deliver an ultimatum that she will take seriously? Why bother "waiting" for proof she's screwed any of these other men?. It's the fact you are being "dissed" on a daily basis by your wife, and that's what you should be focused on and dealing with NOW! My intentions are not to beat you up, honestly. But you need to step-up and deal with her disrespect of you and her marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Morro72 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 If it were my wife I'd encourage her to see another man - specifically, my attorney. And, now that I think of it, the moving company. Lots of big strong men there and she can go party with them when they're done clearing her stuff out of the place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveMachine67 Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 (edited) Ten Characters Edited July 8, 2015 by LoveMachine67 Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted July 8, 2015 Share Posted July 8, 2015 A few nights ago, I saw a new gallery. My wife was at a club, she was dancing with other guys and basically their hands and bodies were all over my wife. I am torn between confronting her now, or waiting to see if one day there might be proof she is cheating. You have enough proof to decide if your wife's secret life is acceptable because it doesn't include you. If she hasn't slept with anyone yet she soon will because you haven't done anything to stop her from partying with other men. When you continuously allow your wife to be around men, alcohol and dressed in skimpy clothing what do you expect will happen? Doing nothing is the same as giving her your acceptance and approval. What are you afraid of, divorce? If that is the case do nothing and allow her to have her secret life. I would be more afraid of sharing my wife with other men, that would scare me a lot more than divorce. Talk to a lawyer so you understand your legal rights than sit your wife down. Tell her she is free to continue her secret life but not as your wife. It is time that you both make the decision to move ahead as a couple or go your separate ways, why suffer any more than you have to? If you decide to stay together give her your boundaries, what you require to make you feel safe including quitting her toxic job. If she can't agree to your boundaries start the process with your lawyer because there's nothing left to save. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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