toscaroscura Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Yeah, that's pretty much what I thought. A lot of women hate the idea of having to teach a guy, like he's some 18 year old or something. Seems most women at least want the guy to have a bit of experience under his belt. Like I said I can only speak for myself. And I'm not sure it's most women. I'd imagine most women don't really think about it, or are perhaps neutral if not curious. I hadn't really thought about virginity at all for years until I met my BF, because after a certain age it just isn't something you encounter a lot. But as I said, my BF is an amazing person so to me there was no question about whether to accept it or not. Upon further thinking, virginity has some very real up sides! Including (but not limited to): -No bad habits to unlearn. Yay, I don't have to explain to him why "jackhammering" is bad or that it isn't necessary to spell out the alphabet with your tongue! -No ex GF drama -You can teach him exactly what you like and you'll be the first to do so! -he takes sex seriously like I do. He's a very handsome guy so I am sure he could have just stuck it in at some point. But he wanted it to be special and with the right person. This is very appealing and refreshing to me -you get to relive the new excitement with him lol So yeah, virginity! Not a terrible thing at all. I really don't get the haters. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Like I said I can only speak for myself. And I'm not sure it's most women. I'd imagine most women don't really think about it, or are perhaps neutral if not curious. I hadn't really thought about virginity at all for years until I met my BF, because after a certain age it just isn't something you encounter a lot. But as I said, my BF is an amazing person so to me there was no question about whether to accept it or not. Upon further thinking, virginity has some very real up sides! Including (but not limited to): -No bad habits to unlearn. Yay, I don't have to explain to him why "jackhammering" is bad or that it isn't necessary to spell out the alphabet with your tongue! -No ex GF drama -You can teach him exactly what you like and you'll be the first to do so! -he takes sex seriously like I do. He's a very handsome guy so I am sure he could have just stuck it in at some point. But he wanted it to be special and with the right person. This is very appealing and refreshing to me -you get to relive the new excitement with him lol So yeah, virginity! Not a terrible thing at all. I really don't get the haters. lol this is true. I think women would at least appreciate the no ex g/f drama. And if she gets along with you & likes you, than it shouldn't be much of a problem to some women. Link to post Share on other sites
AVarma Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 (edited) He is 23 and I am almost 36. It's unusual but it works for us. If you don't mind me asking would you date a virgin who was your age? You gave a pretty good defense of virgins in your other posts. Would it all apply if the guy was also 36? Also how did he feel about you telling your aunt and friend that he was a virgin? Edited March 11, 2015 by AVarma Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 If you don't mind me asking would you date a virgin who was your age? You gave a pretty good defense of virgins in your other posts. Would it all apply if the guy was also 36? Also how did he feel about you telling your aunt and friend that he was a virgin? Yeah, I'm wondering these things too. I'm surprised she mentioned it to them, since it's honestly none of their business unless he said it's fine to tell them. I'd probably be a bit upset if the woman I was with was telling all personal things about me to her friends & family without my permission to tell them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
toscaroscura Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Yeah, I'm wondering these things too. I'm surprised she mentioned it to them, since it's honestly none of their business unless he said it's fine to tell them. I'd probably be a bit upset if the woman I was with was telling all personal things about me to her friends & family without my permission to tell them. It's not that I came out and told her, she actually guessed. My aunt is like a big sister, so she had a lot of questions about him. When she asked the usual about his history, and I said I was his first girlfriend ever, she kind of put 2 and 2 together. I certainly don't go around telling people! I'd never do that, I love my boyfriend very much and would never want to embarrass him. I didn't tell my friend, she has just talked about virgins before so I know her viewpoints. As far as a virgin my age, sure why not! As long as I clicked with him as well as my current younger BF. I actually was surprised to find he was that young. I had thought he was older, he thought I was younger. When we each learned the truth we just sort of shrugged and said well ok then. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
corsair427 Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 There is a stigma, Yup, still a virgin here myself. Im 25 and even recently just got my first kiss. It not because I didnt want it or anything, quite the opposite. No girl has ever liked me enough to go that far. Not like I would even know how to go that far either. People tell me all the time im a very handsome guy and they honestly tell me I should model. Im also a First officer in the airlines. Growing up I was severely teased for my looks epecially by girls and I learned to isolate myself from them until i finally got my first yes to a date when i was 24. I am very far behind now in the game and not exactly sure what is even appropriate to do with a girl or not. I have desires but not sure how to express them. So naturally no girl wants anything to do with someone at this point. Im questioned about it all the time, and people ask me if im gay or asexual. It wasnt my fault they didnt like me to begin with, I didnt choose this. No girl even wanted to kiss me till I was 24, how am I supposed to have control over a girls desire? The whole thing is cyclic. Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted March 12, 2015 Author Share Posted March 12, 2015 There is a stigma, Yup, still a virgin here myself. Im 25 and even recently just got my first kiss. It not because I didnt want it or anything, quite the opposite. No girl has ever liked me enough to go that far. Not like I would even know how to go that far either. People tell me all the time im a very handsome guy and they honestly tell me I should model. Im also a First officer in the airlines. Growing up I was severely teased for my looks epecially by girls and I learned to isolate myself from them until i finally got my first yes to a date when i was 24. I am very far behind now in the game and not exactly sure what is even appropriate to do with a girl or not. I have desires but not sure how to express them. So naturally no girl wants anything to do with someone at this point. Im questioned about it all the time, and people ask me if im gay or asexual. It wasnt my fault they didnt like me to begin with, I didnt choose this. No girl even wanted to kiss me till I was 24, how am I supposed to have control over a girls desire? The whole thing is cyclic. I didn't get my first kiss until a few days after turning 22. I went on a date with a transit bus driver who I got friendly with and eventually dated for a brief period. We dated for only two months. The farthest that I went with her was a little breast action. I have kissed a total of six women. I made out with most of them and I felt up some of them, but it was consensual. I have never been in an actual relationship where it lasted a good amount of time. I have mostly been in the "talking" stages and had meetups, went on a few dates, but never really anything beyond that. It's like I also said, I have done a few sexual things, but nothing to the point where I got naked. Link to post Share on other sites
corsair427 Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I didn't get my first kiss until a few days after turning 22. I went on a date with a transit bus driver who I got friendly with and eventually dated for a brief period. We dated for only two months. The farthest that I went with her was a little breast action. I have kissed a total of six women. I made out with most of them and I felt up some of them, but it was consensual. I have never been in an actual relationship where it lasted a good amount of time. I have mostly been in the "talking" stages and had meetups, went on a few dates, but never really anything beyond that. It's like I also said, I have done a few sexual things, but nothing to the point where I got naked. I haven't even gotten as far as you yet,....unless your older than me now, im still 25. What are guys like us supposed to do? Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 13, 2015 Share Posted March 13, 2015 I haven't even gotten as far as you yet,....unless your older than me now, im still 25. What are guys like us supposed to do? Improve and get better. Or hire an escort. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I honestly don't know why. Being a virgin means you have self-control, you're clean and have an innocence. Depending on the reasons for your virginity, it also makes you honourable, respectable and shows that you can resist temptation! However, whether you're a virgin or highly experienced, there is a stigma to both. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MissySpring Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 First and foremost, I am asking a serious question. I really want to know where virgins are looked down upon to the point where the v-word is the go-to insult for some people. I may be sexually <in>experienced, but there are various reasons why. Part, if most of it has to do with the fact that I don't meet women often, and it could be because I am shy or it could be because I have little drive to meet them. It isn't always the stereotypical reason why, like a guy is too scared to talk to woman and other reasons that come to mind. What I want to know is why some people look down on those who are sexually-inexperienced. So a guy hasn't stuck it in, big deal. So a guy hasn't been alone with a woman and they were naked, big deal. I know the same could apply to women because I have heard of women who are virgins getting picked on for it. So can anybody tell me why there is a stigma? Thanks. :laugh: People are so silly! You're not cool for being a virgin....yet you're bad for NOT being a virgin. You literally can't win. There's this book I read "African American Near Death Experiences" by Dr. Lloyd A. Rudy and it has me no longer worrying about ANYTHING ON THIS EARTH! These people went to the other side and God was not interested in their flesh or most of the stuff we obsess over on earth. It was good to read that God is more understanding and wise than we are on earth. I am so sorry you're going through stuff like this. It's peturbing for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
corsair427 Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 I honestly don't know why. Being a virgin means you have self-control, you're clean and have an innocence. Depending on the reasons for your virginity, it also makes you honourable, respectable and shows that you can resist temptation! However, whether you're a virgin or highly experienced, there is a stigma to both. No, its not because i was able to hold back or something. Im human and have needs too ya know, I just had to learn to suppress them, which isn't healthy. Its because ive never had anyone like me enough to consider even having sex. Thats the reason why. So I had to learn to live with it. Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted March 14, 2015 Share Posted March 14, 2015 So can anybody tell me why there is a stigma? Thanks. Very simple really. Men want to have sex. Men who are able to have sex (ie are attractive and desirable to women) - do. Men who don't have sex - likely can't. If they can't, then people jump to conclusions that they are weak or timid or some how undesirable and unable to attract a woman. Please note I am explaining the stigma. I am not saying that any of those things are true. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted March 15, 2015 Author Share Posted March 15, 2015 Very simple really. Men want to have sex. Men who are able to have sex (ie are attractive and desirable to women) - do. Men who don't have sex - likely can't. If they can't, then people jump to conclusions that they are weak or timid or some how undesirable and unable to attract a woman. Please note I am explaining the stigma. I am not saying that any of those things are true. It's like I have I have written in another post, people suck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 Being that I am turning 29 in less than five months, should I go and hire a hooker to change my sexual status ASAP? Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Being that I am turning 29 in less than five months, should I go and hire a hooker to change my sexual status ASAP? You're a guy so I know you men think differently. But please don't do that. No matter how nervous or even awkward, your first time should MATTER. It should be with someone you care about. Okay, enough much. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted March 19, 2015 Author Share Posted March 19, 2015 You're a guy so I know you men think differently. But please don't do that. No matter how nervous or even awkward, your first time should MATTER. It should be with someone you care about. Okay, enough much. I have read everywhere that women don't want a male virgin, especially one who is pushing 30. So I kind of feel like I need to change it ASAP because I feel like I am too old to be a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
JohnsonBaby Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 NGC1300, I don't agree. I have never met a virgin male but if I had done, I'd think "Great, now I can get him educated so he knows how to please me !" - and what fun that would be ! Until he starts wanting to try new ones . His thought: "hey if she thinks i m this great let s see how many women i can score " Hint * Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Until he starts wanting to try new ones . His thought: "hey if she thinks i m this great let s see how many women i can score " Hint * That isn't a side effect of being a virgin. That is a side effect of being a crappy arse of a guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted March 25, 2015 Share Posted March 25, 2015 No idea why the stigma exists but as a woman that was a virgin till quite late (27) I can tell you people were being mean too. Either constantly trying to guess (seeing that I was single all the time), or making rude comments. When I finally stopped being a virgin, my first partner didn't believe it and called me a liar (because I had taken care myself for the physical aspects of virginity and he was an idiot not to get the idea that this is quite an easy thing). For a man I'd find it cute and normal, unless he is very socially awkward in other aspects (this is maybe part of the prejudice but virgin people at later age could be overly introverted / have difficulties in social situations) First and foremost, I am asking a serious question. I really want to know where virgins are looked down upon to the point where the v-word is the go-to insult for some people. I may be sexually <in>experienced, but there are various reasons why. Part, if most of it has to do with the fact that I don't meet women often, and it could be because I am shy or it could be because I have little drive to meet them. It isn't always the stereotypical reason why, like a guy is too scared to talk to woman and other reasons that come to mind. What I want to know is why some people look down on those who are sexually-inexperienced. So a guy hasn't stuck it in, big deal. So a guy hasn't been alone with a woman and they were naked, big deal. I know the same could apply to women because I have heard of women who are virgins getting picked on for it. So can anybody tell me why there is a stigma? Thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted March 27, 2015 Author Share Posted March 27, 2015 No idea why the stigma exists but as a woman that was a virgin till quite late (27) I can tell you people were being mean too. Either constantly trying to guess (seeing that I was single all the time), or making rude comments. When I finally stopped being a virgin, my first partner didn't believe it and called me a liar (because I had taken care myself for the physical aspects of virginity and he was an idiot not to get the idea that this is quite an easy thing). For a man I'd find it cute and normal, unless he is very socially awkward in other aspects (this is maybe part of the prejudice but virgin people at later age could be overly introverted / have difficulties in social situations) Hmmmm, you may have a point there. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 27, 2015 Share Posted March 27, 2015 Seems like there's tons of guys who are making it to 30 and still Virgins, I was 22 and I felt old! There seems to be such a huge gap, so many guys are losing it before they're 20, but just as many can't lose it by 30... Is society failing a lot of guys? Hmm lol. I think the Stigma is real, having sex is one of the main ways that a guy asserts his manhood, and being denied Sex until you're 30 is crippling to a guy's confidence and self-esteem I feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 Seems like there's tons of guys who are making it to 30 and still Virgins, I was 22 and I felt old! There seems to be such a huge gap, so many guys are losing it before they're 20, but just as many can't lose it by 30... Is society failing a lot of guys? Hmm lol. I think the Stigma is real, having sex is one of the main ways that a guy asserts his manhood, and being denied Sex until you're 30 is crippling to a guy's confidence and self-esteem I feel. I would not say that I was denied it. I just hadn't put much effort into really trying considering how I have read numerous threads about how women don't want virgins and I just never really went for it. I have dated before, but things fizzled out before we could ever get to that point. I don't know if that counts as being denied sex, but it seemed like I couldn't keep someone around for that to happen, unless someone were to say that I did something wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 28, 2015 Share Posted March 28, 2015 I would not say that I was denied it. I just hadn't put much effort into really trying considering how I have read numerous threads about how women don't want virgins and I just never really went for it. I have dated before, but things fizzled out before we could ever get to that point. I don't know if that counts as being denied sex, but it seemed like I couldn't keep someone around for that to happen, unless someone were to say that I did something wrong. Idk if I was pushing on 30 and couldn't get it, I'd just screw an escort lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author E-Squared Posted March 28, 2015 Author Share Posted March 28, 2015 Idk if I was pushing on 30 and couldn't get it, I'd just screw an escort lol. Are you implying that I SHOULD hire a hooker? I guess I should regret letting the "young and full of energy" days pass me by, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts