Informal Survey: How many of you LS women are turned on by whining?

[Dybbuk]

hahaha... this thread.

 

I personally think there is a difference between whining and venting, and both can be done by either gender but if we use male whiners for an example...

 

Cycle of whining.

Whiner: "Ugh! This woman didn't respond to me/or my oh so clever message! These are all the things I did right and she still wasn't interested, what is wrong with women?! They have the perfect guy right in front of them and they continually fail to see what a catch I am. Girls just have impossible standards."

LS Forum: "The message you sent wasn't all that clever. Not all women have impossible standards, but if you want to be successful you need to change your approach. Let me give you some examples..."

Whiner: "I think my message was clever. Believe me I have tried EVERYTHING you just said and it doesn't work either. It's just that women don't respond to me. They never have, they never will. I'd prefer to wallow in my self pity and anger than address my own faults as a human being. Being angry and blaming women is easier than changing myself anyway."

 

Cycle of venting.

Venter: "Ugh! This woman didn't respond to me/or my oh so clever message! These are all the things I did right and she still wasn't interested, what is wrong with women?! They have the perfect guy right in front of them and they continually fail to see what a catch I am. Girls just have impossible standards."

LS Forum: "The message you sent wasn't all that clever. Not all women have impossible standards, but if you want to be successful you need to change your approach. Let me give you some examples..."

Venter: "I feel better after venting. I guess there are some things I could try and see how that works. I haven't had much luck with women, but I'll keep trying. After all being angry and blaming women isn't going to help my situation anyway."

LS Forum: "Good luck! Let us know how it goes!"

 

In short, the difference the between the two is self reflection. I feel it's ok to vent/complain from either gender. Believe it or not I've learned a lot from men here that have had negative experiences with women. I NEVER ignored an email on an OLD website, because I knew the frustration it caused for guys. I thought "If they are courteous enough to send the email, be polite enough to thank them for their time and decline politely." You wouldn't believe the messages of thanks I got, and well wishes (sure some snarky replies, but I'll never forget one guy who emailed me months later and started with a "Do you remember me? You answered my email and gave me some advice on my profile and just wanted to tell you thanks and hope you are doing well. I'm having better luck and am still trying."). I learned how to be a better person from men who were frustrated beyond belief on forums like this.

 

The thing that irks me and turns me off is when someone tries to reciprocate with sound advice (typically everyone is on point here with advice) and the guy/girl REFUSES to acknowledge the advice and would rather rant and wallow in self pity about why their life isn't fair and a GF/BF just needs to fall from the sky into their lap without any work.

 

Doesn't work like that. Never gonna work like that. Life's not fair, and finding love is hard. Either deal with it, or get a cat.

[Shining One]

I do think whining, in and of itself, is something that can fade once a person has had a number of positive experiences.

This has been my experience. After failing horribly at OLD, I was pretty whiny for a while. A string of ONS and I was good to go.

[autumnnight]

This has been my experience. After failing horribly at OLD, I was pretty whiny for a while. A string of ONS and I was good to go.

 

What I am seeing here is that while you whined, you also got proactive and took action. Now, a string of ONS wouldn't work for ME, but the point is...you didn't sit in the glow of your laptop and lament. You got out there and did something.

[Starship]

Let's have it ladies. Raise your hands, but not everybody at once. How many of YOU lucky ladies dreamed in your Cinderella storied childhoods of dating a whiny man who blames your gender for every difficulty and generally has no respect for you!

 

Don't every answer at once!

 

Ha! I just about peed myself laughing. Had to show it to my boyfriend. He read a few responses from the usual whiners and said these guys must think a woman's ideal man is a cross between Millhouse and Yosemite Sam.

[MGX]

Don't these depressed or lonely people come here to vent or ask for advice anyway? Isn't this forum the place for it?

 

I see it so much, I've grown a thick skin to it.

[somedude81]

First of all. None of the guys here are trying to attract anybody on this forum. That means that nobody cares if their whining turns you off. They aren't trying to get a date with you.

 

Second, they are whining because they are unhappy with their lives. It's a natural human reaction.

 

Third, most of these guys have nobody to whine to so they do it here. Nobody will listen to them. It's hypocritical to complain about whining guys here when you whine to your girlfriends.

 

Lastly, if it bugs you, then just ignore them. It's as simple as that.

[autumnnight]

I probably should have phrased the title differently:

 

Informal survey: how many of you LS women are turned on by a man who blames women for all of his problems

 

or: How many of you are turned on by men who lump all women into one category

 

or: How many of you are turned on by strangers who think they know what you think and how you live

 

or: How many of you are turned on by men who think that if they check the right boxes you owe them sex

[Toodaloo]

Has anyone said yes yet?

[Imajerk17]

Well, here is the thing I have noticed.

 

1. Most of the males who come on here and whine have a very EXTERNAL locus of control. The way they talk about their lives, it's like they hardly have any power. That is extremely unattractive to a woman. Why would she want to hitch her wagon to, and pass on the genes of, and rely on for protection in the meanwhile, an ineffectual male?

 

2. Most of the males who come on here to whine seem to think that women feel attraction in a likewise way that a (very picky) man feels attraction: That for a guy to possibly attract a woman, he has to be a Hot Guy in looks making 6 figures a year. They seem to think that the reason why they struggle is due to their looks or height. That's not true. Its much more about your energy, vibe, can you connect emotionally.

 

3. Most males who come on here to whine ALSO seem hardly willing to put in the work to become attractive. Many insist they know "how women really are" as they write thread after repetitive thread. (Which always astounds me--I mean, just because you failed 10,000 times does NOT mean you invented the light bulb!) They don't take advice on leaning to the edge of their comfort zone, improving their OLD profile, ect.

 

4. In all fairness Struggling Dudes, most of the women on here--members of the gender you whine so much about--actually have responded to your posts with kindness and a sincere desire to help. Many have been doing this for quite a while. That hardly seems to go recognized by many of you.

Edited March 13, 2015 by Imajerk17

[MGX]

I probably should have phrased the title differently:

 

Informal survey: how many of you LS women are turned on by a man who blames women for all of his problems

 

or: How many of you are turned on by men who lump all women into one category

 

or: How many of you are turned on by strangers who think they know what you think and how you live

 

or: How many of you are turned on by men who think that if they check the right boxes you owe them sex

 

In the spirit of this thread, isn't THIS whining about these certain types of men?

 

Just use the Ignore Option on the usual suspects that you don't want to hear from! Take your own advice: Be proactive and DO something about the problem.

 

Something bothers you, do away with it so that it doesn't bother you anymore.

[Starship]

I probably should have phrased the title differently:

 

Informal survey: how many of you LS women are turned on by a man who blames women for all of his problems

 

or: How many of you are turned on by men who lump all women into one category

 

or: How many of you are turned on by strangers who think they know what you think and how you live

 

or: How many of you are turned on by men who think that if they check the right boxes you owe them sex

 

The oddest are the males who keep telling us what we like in a male...when we tell them the opposite. Not sure if they are gay or haven't yet come to term with their gayness. We supposedly all like tall rich guys with lots of muscles...what gay guys (Liberace) tend to be attracted to.

[toolforgrowth]

Informal survey: how many of you LS women are turned on by a man who blames women for all of his problems

 

As with any situation, it all depends on the circumstances. My xWW took the kids and rented an apartment so she could have an affair with a co-worker. Due to the divorce laws, being the mother she got the majority of the time with my daughter and a significant amount of child support, regardless of the fact that she was at fault.

 

I do not blame women for that. I blame the "family justice" system. But I will never scale back my utter contempt for the harsh divorce laws against men, and for the entire institution of marriage in general, in addition to specific examples of women who exploit them for their own personal gain.

 

And while they most certainly do not constitute all women, they do represent a significant number.

 

How many of you are turned on by men who lump all women into one category

 

This is a legitimate criticism of the "whining" by some men we've seen here. As I said above, not all women are bad. However, if I'm not sure which snakes are poisonous and which are harmless, I'm probably going to be safe and avoid all snakes just to be safe. (PLEASE don't read into the fact that I used snakes as the animal in this analogy. I am in no way suggesting women are snakes. It's rather irritating that I feel like I have to say that just in case, but there it is)

 

How many of you are turned on by strangers who think they know what you think and how you live

 

Exactly! I get really tired of people who assume that just become I'm a MGTOW, I must be an unattractive lazy nerd who's broke and can't get laid, and is just upset about it. Instead of a very attractive guy in his mid 30's who has a great career, a substantial savings, his own home, and a wonderful GF who pleasures him greatly.

 

I know exactly how you feel.

 

How many of you are turned on by men who think that if they check the right boxes you owe them sex

 

I completely agree with you on this point. I'll even go a step further by suggesting that these men spend an entirely disproportionate amount of time and resources trying to attract, get, and have sex with women. They utterly fail to realize that there are far greater priorities (a good career, substantial savings, building a retirement, a good circle of friends, etc.).

 

I love my GF with all my heart. She is a wonderful woman who complements me in so many ways. But I will never sacrifice my happiness or financial security for her, or anyone else, for that matter.

 

And a person who truly loves you would never expect you to do that in the first place.

[Mangina]

The oddest are the males who keep telling us what we like in a male...when we tell them the opposite. Not sure if they are gay or haven't yet come to term with their gayness. We supposedly all like tall rich guys with lots of muscles...what gay guys (Liberace) tend to be attracted to.

 

Girls like tall rich guys with lots muscles. Sorry I don't know where that came from.