Nikki Sahagin Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 When I was 17, I thought I'd be forever alone (melodramatic I know) but I had real issues with men and wanted nothing to do with them. I don't believe every person will die having lived their whole life in a relationship BUT I don't think most people will live forever alone, no. Link to post Share on other sites
hotpotato Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 Oh no, I could never do that....I would want someone to get naked with me cuz they naturally want and desire me. Maybe men doing escorts is easier in their mind cuz some way or another - regardless if it's a date, gf, wife, a guy is still paying something out of his pocket and gets female attention in return. Im cool with it. Honestly, in my time dating, I very rarely felt like a guy wanted *me.* i had one guy say "im a man, youre a woman so why cant we just have sex?" Hmm didnt sound like he was looking for me specifically. I mostly got the feeling most guys were looking for a warm female body that was willing and wasnt too unattractive. Ive also been on quite a few dates in which men expected sex because he paid $15 for my dinner and showed me a lil attention. *shrug* 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I am seeing nearly 100 for even a 1/2 hour, so no I couldn't afford any more than "every once in a while".I've never used an escort myself, but I had considered it during my long dry spell in my twenties. From a financial standpoint, that's not a bad price to pay. If you're just looking for sex, you will likely end up spending more seeking it the "normal" way. I spend more than that on a ONS (on average) and those are not guaranteed. My bigger concerns would be the legality and the social stigma.Maybe men doing escorts is easier in their mind cuz some way or another - regardless if it's a date, gf, wife, a guy is still paying something out of his pocket and gets female attention in return.This is the logic behind it. Dating a woman with unconfirmed interest is simply a "gamble" if you're looking for sex. You're investing money and there is no guarantee or money back policy. While going to an escort causes other problems, it makes sense financially up to a certain price point. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 17, 2015 Share Posted March 17, 2015 I do not believe I will be alone forever. But sometimes one needs to be alone. That is me right now. Alone is what I need. It may not be what I want at moments. But it is what I need. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I also think that, the human condition is a bit of a paradox. We are all born to WANT love but we are not ENTITLED to it. We are raised on stories where people meet, fall in love and live happily ever after. When we grow up, we realise that the hook up culture is more prevalent than the relationship culture. Finding a meaningful relationship is like gold dust. Meeting someone whom you are attracted to, have chemistry with, are compatible with and match with in terms of values and personal growth (i.e. the direction of the relationship) is hard, especially in times whereby many people WANT a relationship but aren't willing to be trustworthy, honest, faithful, compromising or communicative. The fact is, no-one is guaranteed a relationship and yes, many people live a life alone every day; some through choice, others because that's just how it happened. That said, I think there is no need to resign yourself to 'dying alone.' I think it's important to be happy alone and still give and receive love; to yourself, friends, family, animals, the environment, your community and be open to romantic love if it comes. When you find it, treasure it, nurture it and never take it for granted. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PinkInTheLimo Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Finding a meaningful relationship is like gold dust. Meeting someone whom you are attracted to, have chemistry with, are compatible with and match with in terms of values and personal growth (i.e. the direction of the relationship) is hard, especially in times whereby many people WANT a relationship but aren't willing to be trustworthy, honest, faithful, compromising or communicative. I agree, it is something very unique and precious, at least if you take love seriously. I always get very irritated by those people who consider someone who has been single for a long time as sad, picky, problematic. This is about sharing your life with another human being, that's probably the most important choice you can make in your life, so why should you not be picky? I don't want someone just for some company and intimacy, I want someone I feel a real connection with in a relationship where we have each other's back, respect each other, truly care for each other. Sometimes when I hear couples talk I wonder "Where is the love and was it ever there?" I don't want to have one of these mediocre relationships where you basically couldn't care less about each other and complain about each other all the time. If your partner is not what you want then leave! I still want a guy who is truly in love with me and not some grumpy guy my age or older who just wants some woman in his life to do his household chores and give him the occasional sex... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Donate Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 The only purpose that I see in ever being in a long term relationship or getting married is having children. If I don't believe that the woman will make a good mother (the vast majority of women that I meet have absolutely no nurturing ability), then I'm okay with letting her go. Also, I haven't met many women that actually add something to my life. So I'm not particularly sad about the idea of ending up alone. Excellent post! Link to post Share on other sites
Donate Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 IMO men who remain single are far more successful in life than men who marry. Single men [who are able to date and mingle] have more fulfilling relationships than men who are married. Single men may have more relationships over time but the quality is often higher than married men because rather than spending decades in low functioning relationships they move on to a higher functioning relationship. Living in Solace is not so bad, just have a plan, keep busy and social, and have an exit plan....[someone or people you can trust for end of life events]. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Living in Solace is not so bad, just have a plan, keep busy and social, and have an exit plan....[someone or people you can trust for end of life events]. I liked this. I know that the OP was referring to romantically alone. However, even if I have no SO when I get to the end, I will not be alone. I have friends and family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toots Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'm not even bad-looking, however it's just such a burden to find, date, and attempt to make women happy. Even if something serious does start to form, at no point in time can I "coast" like the woman does; I need to keep making her happy and always have in my mind the possibility of her cheating or walking off. It just seems too stressful to get involved with anyone. I'm not even motivated by sex. That's what masturbation and escorts are for. I'm giving serious consideration to just dying alone; never finding someone. Anyone else gone down this path? Yes. I get bored in relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
minimariah Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 Anyone else gone down this path? *raises hand* this might sound weird but i truly think that i wasn't meant for love... or maybe love wasn't meant for me. i don't think i'll ever find what i'm looking for. i mean, what are the odds? and that's okay. there are other things... so many other things in life i want to see and experience and feel besides love. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 There are 3.5 billion women on this planet and not one is meant for me?? I refuse to believe it... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I honestly don't even care anymore if I stay alone forever. I just think that if by chance I meet someone that I get along with well & I find them attractive than great. But if not, than oh well. It doesn't matter to me anymore. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I have and will continue to be single forever....doesn't bother me a bit. The thing that bothers me is lack of someone to boink now and then and take me out for dinner or something... Sometimes I just wish I had someone on speed dial who will just come over when I ring...plain and simple. And no, don't wanna do a male escort and while FWBs/casual things are an option, I'm wanting a FWB/casual situation more on the lines of a "long-term monogamous" thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 It matters to me. I want a strong relationship and I have not given up hope, because I have had them and I still believe they are possible. More difficult perhaps in this world today, but possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I have and will continue to be single forever....doesn't bother me a bit. The thing that bothers me is lack of someone to boink now and then and take me out for dinner or something... Sometimes I just wish I had someone on speed dial who will just come over when I ring...plain and simple. And no, don't wanna do a male escort and while FWBs/casual things are an option, I'm wanting a FWB/casual situation more on the lines of a "long-term monogamous" thing. Like one of Drake's songs: "All I want is some head in a comfortable bed...it could all be so simple" Why can't I get a guy just to have regular head with...in my bed...it could all be so simple?!? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 What I want or hope for has evolved and changed over the years (ok decades). I no longer long for a Jane Austen novel with a dash of romantic comedy. BUT I am not going to settle for splitting bills and prune juice either. I do not believe I will always be alone. I believe I will, when the time is right, be with someone who loves me, who I love, where there is attraction and affection and spark balanced with maturity and commitment and reality. And it's going to be great. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I have thought about what I'd do if I were to find myself single again at this age. If it happened and life were to unfold in such a way that I'd be single forever, I'm pretty confident I would be or could be perfectly content with it. I've had a good life, had lots of awesome and wicked fun and experienced some great loves. That need to be coupled up forever isn't as strong as it used to be. I quite enjoy my own company these days. Having said that, I'm with Gloria in that being single is one thing but being celibate is a whole other thing. I would still want and need a warm body to climb whenever the urge struck...which is pretty often 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 ya I have often times but at the same time, the primal, innate, instinctive, natural desire for wanting a girlfriend, sex, companionship, intimacy does not go away sadly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 I am completely fine with staying single forever. Link to post Share on other sites
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