What do you do when you get hit on by 45-50 year old men?

[elaine567]

The answer was normalized for all men, with the answer being

 

"Half his own age plus seven years"

Therefore, a woman of, say, age 33, is most likely to be targeted for romance by men who are 52 or so.

 

So what you are complaining about is nooooooooormal life.

 

and now...

 

This was a survey, offered to males, who were simply asked what age in a woman they thought would be ideal for themselves.

 

It had nothing to do with what the women thought, and clearly it could have entailed an entire survey audience of 20 people, ten of which might have been 18yo guys (who each gave the same answer of "16")...one ninety-year-old man who said: "fifty-two" (because the woman next door is fifty-two), along with nine 40-year-old men who each said "twenty-seven" (or, more likely, averages which approximated such a representation).

 

But you used that survey and that conclusion and applied it to the case in point and then said it is normal for 33 year old women to be dated by 52 year old men...

 

However, as you now admit, that survey and its nice formulaic conclusion, may have been based on a small sample of non-representative males.

[hotpotato]

Why are they creeps? What are they whipping out their packages?

 

I know yoir trying to be fun, but some do.

 

My granda hits on much younger women. He hits on women younger than. Ive seen him stick his hands in his pants. The poor girls are cashiers and in no position to tell him to eff of. I can see tyem grimace. I dont know if he doesnt see it or doesnt care to.

 

I did have a 50 year old stalker start talking about what kind of porn he liked. >_<

[Tayken]

How good lookin' are these 45-50 yr olds now?

 

I'm going on 40, but in my 30's dated men, some of which were nearing 50.

 

One of them, OMG, great bod and he really didn't work out as much as I did. I remember one day watching him get dressed and he was in he boxer briefs and I just wanted to snap a picture to keep

 

 

Wow....you naughty little vixen. I am guessing that was after a marathon session?

 

@OP....come on now, how are they suppose to know your age? I personally wouldn't be comfortable being with someone in their early or mid 30s

[SincereOnlineGuy]

and now...

 

 

 

But you used that survey and that conclusion and applied it to the case in point and then said it is normal for 33 year old women to be dated by 52 year old men...

 

However, as you now admit, that survey and its nice formulaic conclusion, may have been based on a small sample of non-representative males.

 

 

What are you talking about???

 

Where did you get that I said anybody dated anyone???

 

 

These things are all written down, un-altered, un-edited, now how did you come up with that ???

[Danda]

I've been hit on by a couple men who were way older than me.

 

I found it extremely off-putting in general, because I felt like they expected me to sacrifice my youth and the ability to enjoy other youthful men, while they themselves felt entitled to enjoying younger women and not women of their age range. That's why it felt very ugh to me.

 

But I did my usual devil's advocate thing and gave them a grain of salt, and politely made it clear that I wasn't interested. I'm self-aware that I grew up with sinister and selfish male role models, so therefore I tend to go on the defensive by default a lot of the time. I have to make a conscious effort to come up with possible scenarios in which the guy isn't being an entitled creeper, take a deep breath and then respond assertively but politely.

 

My guess is that a lot of women who respond very negatively to unwanted flirtation do so because of similar influence while growing up. Probably similar to how men who have been through a nasty divorce often have to make a conscious effort to ward off feelings of misogyny.

 

I think it's all just part of primal instincts, as far as learn from the past and develop defense techniques. It is not always easy to take a moment to rise above instincts, all we can do is continue to try and improve our self-awareness.

[Els]

I do generally find it 'creepy' when someone twice my age cold approaches me. It's not the fact that they're old, it's the fact that they're hitting on someone half their age when I'm just going about my own business and they don't even know me. It didn't help that most of the old men who did this in my home country did it in an extremely leery, off-putting way... and moved on to the next young woman half their age as soon as I turned them down.

[D.Mc.]

I think the OP is saying (based on her physical description of them) she thinks these men are physically unattractive. That's why she's creeped out. If she thought they were handsome then she might not even be guessing their age correctly unless they told her. Physical attraction does that to people. I mean for example, if a man who is tall, muscular & has no facial hair is the type that turns you on & you can't immediately tell his age then he won't be creepy to you until you find out his age & then you have to re-evaluate your own standards of "attractive". No one wants to do that kind of emotional & psychological work on themselves.

If you really think someone is attractive to you, an age gap won't be a deal breaker. Thing is very few older (58+ men)tend to have that certain physical look that attracts younger women. Hair grays, skin wrinkles, body parts shift. Kudo's to the ones (& women too) who do maintain themselves but let's be honest...it's way more work just to maintain looking 10 years younger & each year of age ADDS work. Why would you want the extra hassle of trying to keep up with someone 20 years younger than you in OR out of the bedroom?

[ASG]

Well, I personally like older men, so I don't think it would phase me.

 

Of course it also has to do with how good looking they are!

 

I had a guy in his 50s express his interest in me and I was less than impressed.

 

But earlier in the year I had a bit of a romp with a guy in his mid 40s and OMG!

 

Just as an example of guys in their mid 40s who I SOOO would, look up Manu Bennett. He was in the TV show Spartacus and in Arrow. Dude is RIPPED! If he hit on me, I'd feel flattered and would let him buy me all the drinks and take me home!

[Anela]

I've been hit on by a couple men who were way older than me.

 

I found it extremely off-putting in general, because I felt like they expected me to sacrifice my youth and the ability to enjoy other youthful men, while they themselves felt entitled to enjoying younger women and not women of their age range. That's why it felt very ugh to me.

 

 

This is the sort of thing that I've felt, when it's happened. Online dating sites are loaded with men like this, who stop looking at women their own age, once they pass 35/36. With the men 50/60+ who have hit on me, I don't know how to politely point out that they've already been my age, and lived this phase of their lives. I missed out on a lot in my twenties, *and* my thirties, and I spend enough time with my parents, who are in their sixties. I wanted to enjoy this phase of my life, rather than immediately moving to senior coffee status.

 

As for those my age who "prefer someone younger" - I've seen one or two complain about women wanting someone taller, men with more money who will pay for everything, etc. They had the same lists in their profiles, that I've seen men complain about coming across, saying a woman is too picky.

[Tayken]

Try again....

 

Im not a famous movie star, but I have a physique better than probably any of them....certainly, Id totally embarrass someone like George Clooney..,and Im almost 50...

 

And maybe its not "natural" and I really have no interest in 20 something year old girls, but it doesnt stop them from hitting on me ...I could have a party with 30 and unders if i wanted...

 

Quite frankly, I belong to 2 seperate gyms.....myself and few other over 40+ year olds have bodies that most of the 20 somethings would probably trade any day of the week...

 

And Ill say this much as well....Its becoming the same deal for women...Most of the 35+ year old women(many who have had kids as well) now have bodies that are WAY better than the 20 somethings around here.....who are all quite porky and soft...

 

TFY

 

 

Bold 1: I know that feeling, especially when I open my mouth and they hear my accent.

 

Bold 2: I don't even go to the gym, and have that body from doing my home yoga, eating well and running

[Weezy1973]

So it's really about attractiveness. If you've looks (and/or bucks), then you've got a shot. It's the disgusting ones who are disgusting.

 

That all kinda makes obvious sense, and when we scratch away the surface, it sure sounds like age isn't really the issue...

 

Exactly. A more accurate title would have been "What do you do when you get hit on by men you don't find attractive?"

[hotpotato]

Try again....

 

Im not a famous movie star, but I have a physique better than probably any of them....certainly, Id totally embarrass someone like George Clooney..,and Im almost 50...

 

And maybe its not "natural" and I really have no interest in 20 something year old girls, but it doesnt stop them from hitting on me ...I could have a party with 30 and unders if i wanted...

 

Quite frankly, I belong to 2 seperate gyms.....myself and few other over 40+ year olds have bodies that most of the 20 somethings would probably trade any day of the week...

 

And Ill say this much as well....Its becoming the same deal for women...Most of the 35+ year old women(many who have had kids as well) now have bodies that are WAY better than the 20 somethings around here.....who are all quite porky and soft...

 

TFY

No one here is saying older people cant be attractive. However, it does get harder to be attractive as one ages, male or female. My girl crush has a daughter whos 19. Shes really hot, but she is not the norm.

 

Maybe you dont want a younger woman, but many of the uncle festers of the world do. Imo the less attractive ones have a lot more to prove. The old dudes most fixated on young women are often the ones who shouldnt be.

 

Well, if you are working out

[Weezy1973]

Unfortunately, when dealing with older men, it helps to be mean right from the start. That polite no means a maybe to many of them. A lot of older men dont care to read social cues. An older man has a lot to gain from dating someone younger. A lot of them will come at a woman aggressively of he believes there is a remote chance that he could have her.

 

Same with overweight. They aggressively flirt and only being mean gives them the right message that they're completely undesirable. Same thing right?

[Tayken]

Exactly. A more accurate title would have been "What do you do when you get hit on by men you don't find attractive?"

 

 

Exactly....most of the time when some women make these complaints, you have to read it as.....the guy / man isn't attractive, and hasn't got money. Most women don't want anything to do with a man they can't get anything from be it look / money / to help care for their kids from elsewhere / to take care of them while they site at home and do nothing

 

You are right, the thread title is masquerading as something else that most of us men already know.

[hotpotato]

Same with overweight. They aggressively flirt and only being mean gives them the right message that they're completely undesirable. Same thing right?

 

Ok, if you want to apply it.

 

I know some men on bodybuilding forums who say they are aggressively pursued by women they arent interested in, esp women who are very overweight. The problem is compounded because a few bb men really do like bbws. I could see them saying the same thing I did. Funny thing, some of them have issues with horny old men as well.

 

Imo if someone is being mean right off the bat, theyve probably already had a bunch of negative experiences. I wouldnt take it personally.

 

 

I know you were expectibg me to get mad and huffy. Didnt work.

[hotpotato]

Exactly....most of the time when some women make these complaints, you have to read it as.....the guy / man isn't attractive, and hasn't got money. Most women don't want anything to do with a man they can't get anything from be it look / money / to help care for their kids from elsewhere / to take care of them while they site at home and do nothing

 

You are right, the thread title is masquerading as something else that most of us men already know.

The irony is strong with this post..How many men on ls who keep saying women need to be young and fertile/childbearing/ attractive. Of course peopke want a relationship to venefit them. Heck, I guess if you are a woman you should be grateful for whatever you can get.

 

Young men who get hit on by much older women feel the same way. General consensus-most young people dont want to he hit on by someone old enough to be a grandparent or parent.

 

Older men just get mad about it because they feel having young hot thangs lust after them should be a given.

[elaine567]

The irony is strong with this post..How many men on ls who keep saying women need to be young and fertile/childbearing/ attractive. Of course peopke want a relationship to venefit them.

 

Heck, I guess if you are a woman you should be grateful for whatever you can get.

The implicaton is often there YES.

 

Young men who get hit on by much older women feel the same way. General consensus-most young people dont want to he hit on by someone old enough to be a grandparent or parent.

YES

 

Older men just get mad about it because they feel having young hot thangs lust after them should be a given.

YES

 

I don't think most women in their 40-50s feel "entitled" to date 20 somethings with "hot" young bodies, in the same way it appears older men do.

 

I guess as women became more independent and financially secure, then there is no need to rely on sugar daddies to provide monetary support.

Adding their own income to a man of similar age and prospects, elevates them into a higher income bracket anyway, so what does an ordinary older man have to offer apart from complications and baggage usually?

 

The attractiveness of an older man goes down then, with only those at the top end of the spectrum being seen as attractive. George Clooney types or multi millionaires.

I guess, a financially struggling young mother with kids, or a young woman looking for a father figure perhaps, may clutch at "ordinary" older men and see them as a good catch.

[Tayken]

I don't think most women in their 40-50s feel "entitled" to date 20 somethings with "hot" young bodies, in the same way it appears older men do.

 

I guess as women became more independent and financially secure, then there is no need to rely on sugar daddies to provide monetary support.

Adding their own income to a man of similar age and prospects, elevates them into a higher income bracket anyway, so what does an ordinary older man have to offer apart from complications and baggage usually?

 

The attractiveness of an older man goes down then, with only those at the top end of the spectrum being seen as attractive. George Clooney types or multi millionaires.

I guess, a financially struggling young mother with kids, or a young woman looking for a father figure perhaps, may clutch at "ordinary" older men and see them as a good catch.

 

So you are saying older women i.e. late 40 and up are all financially secure then and don't need men? Hmmm...I beg to differ on that as dating sites is full of them looking for someone to carry them through those pension years because they haven't put anything aside.

 

Lets not make assumption here that older women are all secure because that is false. On the flip side, most younger women are at least 2yr local college educated and have skills to earn a decent wage compared to a bunch of older women that didn't see the value of post secondary education.

 

The older women might be living off the luxury of indefinite alimony and state pension, whilst having a bf that they've managed to wrap around their little finger.

[elaine567]

So you are saying older women i.e. late 40 and up are all financially secure then and don't need men? Hmmm...I beg to differ on that as dating sites is full of them looking for someone to carry them through those pension years because they haven't put anything aside.

NO, read what I wrote, sugar daddy is not a term older women use in relation to men thier own age, is it???

 

Lets not make assumption here that older women are all secure because that is false. On the flip side, most younger women are at least 2yr local college educated and have skills to earn a decent wage compared to a bunch of older women that didn't see the value of post secondary education.

 

Was I actually talking about older women here???

I am talking about why young women tend to not need sugar daddies. BUT has obviously gone over your head.

 

The older women might be living off the luxury of indefinite alimony and state pension, whilst having a bf that they've managed to wrap around their little finger.

 

 

In bold ^^^^

[Tayken]

In bold ^^^^

 

 

How many older women are with men their exact age?

 

You made a generalization about older women that is out to lunch. My point....not many older women are self sufficient, lets not kid ourselves. Many are living off handouts in the form of alimony and state pension

[elaine567]

How many older women are with men their exact age?

 

You made a generalization about older women that is out to lunch. My point....not many older women are self sufficient, lets not kid ourselves. Many are living off handouts in the form of alimony and state pension

 

I have never said they were....

As I said it has gone over your head, please read before commenting.

[Tayken]

I have never said they were....

As I said it has gone over your head, please read before commenting.

 

Keep telling yourself that....you made a comment about young mother and girls..alluded to the fact that older women have it all together, which is a fallacy.

 

In the words of Frozen...just let it go. I think most men know by now what to look out for, and those to avoid like the plague.

[elaine567]

Keep telling yourself that....you made a comment about young mother and girls..alluded to the fact that older women have it all together, which is a fallacy.

 

In the words of Frozen...just let it go. I think most men know by now what to look out for, and those to avoid like the plague.

 

WATCH MY LIPS I did not say older women are more together financially, read the whole sentence...

Phew!!!

[Anela]

 

Of course it may be a combination of these elements which comprise the statistical realities which say that women who reach the age of 25, and have never married, have surprisingly small chances of ever getting married. When you're a 30-something woman still seeking Playgirl centerfolds to marry, and the subset of society seeking you averages 46 to 64 years of age, then you're working against a vast imbalance. Add the pressures of moving into your 40's while still single, and encountering the new range of prospects actually seeking you (age 66 to 84), and, well, it offers a further hint at why "math class (was) tough" for Barbie. Barbie didn't want to do the math!

 

 

Oh, right: we have a better chance of being kidnapped by aliens, than we do of having an age-appropriate man, that we're attracted to, want to marry us. Thanks, and Merry Christmas to you, too!

[Phoe]

I rarely get hit on, but when I do, it's usually an elderly man. 70's range.

 

It's usually very sweet and innocent, which is cute. I smile and go along with it and happily talk with them before we go on our merry way.

 

I know nothing's meant by it, they're just having a happy chat, so that's why it's nice to go with it and smile!