Why do Less and Less Women Want Marriage or Even a Relationship?

[nofeelings22]

Here we go. Wild and baseless accusations. Men that want a serious relationship but can't get one is not their fault. You assume that a man that wants a relationship, just has to advertise it, and compatible women will line up to him. If he can't get one, then there is something wrong with him, and no woman wants him.

 

Some of the issues are either the environment/demographic (such as with me in NYC where more single men want a serious relationship compared to single women, and single women in their 30s want less to do with relationships), and/or having bad luck such as not meeting suitable women for a serious relationship (for example, women that blame men for their own fault at not finding a serious relationship).

 

 

I think Frank gets it.

 

Do you see it too? I see it in Manhattan and Miami.

 

And I hadn't really read into Aggie's insult being directed right at me, but I guess it was.

 

For the record, my first year+ relationship was in high school. Had 2 year and multi year relationships in college. Had a LOT of fun for several years after college traveling the world and not being serious.. then met my now ex wife, at which time we both dumped people we were seeing in a dating sense to be together.

 

Was with her 12 years, 10 of those in a marriage.

 

So, Aggie... "can't get a relationship" doesn't really describe me.

 

I've just already done the whole hookup life and want something more. I'll get it. Just have to adapt to the new rules, as mentioned earlier.

[BlueIris]

1. More options than at any point in history

2. Less of a stigma of being single

3. Economic independence

 

I think this is it. I'd add birth control to that list. The "problem" was how it was in the past, when social pressure and economic need were the reasons people got married.

 

And I think the change or trend is great. Get married if you want to- and if you find someone that you want to spend your life with and who wants to spend his or her life with you.

 

My 27 year old daughter just got married. Neither one of them needs to be married because of social or economic pressure, or pregnancy, but being married to each other makes both of their lives better. It isn’t rare at all. If it’s a net benefit to your life and your partner’s, get married.

[Popsicle]

I want a relationship and marriage with the right man.

[nofeelings22]

I want a relationship and marriage with the right man.

 

 

 

Age/Location?

[Phoe]

I'd like a relationship and marriage. That would make me very happy. I don't expect it though, and have accepted the fact that it may never happen, and know that I will still be okay no matter what.

[BluEyeL]

I know many women who want a relationship and marriage with the right match. I know women who keep searching for a relationship for years, and can't find one.

 

Now, less women want marriage than in the past indeed, although I think more women than men still want marriage/relationship. The reasons are simple and have been noted here. Economic independence.

 

I have said economic independence and I am in a relationship. Not sure about marriage, if it's right, yes, but not rushing into it, I take that seriously and I've been divorced once.

 

Now, I dated some men that I didn't want a relationship with. It's not that I didn't want a relationship in general, I didn't want one with them. One of them was emotionally unstable for example, and very pessimistic. I can't deal with that, I want someone positive and emotionally stable to have good times with, and have him be my rock in bad times, hopefully for the rest of my life.

[gaius]

So, you want a vampire-ex burning your car down?

There's been one or two who's companionship was so good I'd probably still think positively of them if they torched my car on the way out. I've got insurance after all.

I think Frank gets it.

 

Do you see it too? I see it in Manhattan and Miami.

Aren't there 4 other burrows though? And long island? Someone got me thinking in another thread about how Elliot Rodgers was partially inspired by hanging around with other guys who wouldn't admit the problem lay with them, so yes it can be difficult in some areas, way more difficult than it used to be, but it can still be done.

[WomenWubber]

"Why do Less and Less Women Want Marriage or Even a Relationship?"

 

For women, marriage and romantic relationships are losing their value as we type. Women can now survive on their own, without a man to do every single thing for them. They have a choice now and many are choosing to remain single.

 

The bar is higher for men than ever before, which is why a growing minority of them are choosing to go their own way as well. This is scalating in a vicious spiral of reaction and counter-reaction, which could eventually result in some kind of social revolution where marriage doesn't even exist.

 

Of course, this is just me having fun b.s. speculating.

 

For now, I will just say spinsterhood/bachelorhood seems to be quite the trend these days.

[CALOVELY]

Elliot Rodgers was partially inspired by hanging around with other guys who wouldn't admit the problem lay with them, so yes it can be difficult in some areas

 

Many people refuse to believe it is them. Pointing fingers is easier and takes less effort. It is also completely self defeating. When something "keeps happening to you", it is because you are the common denominator and need to rethink what you are doing. That goes for relationships, friendships, jobs, promotions, etc. It is often very hard to hear this though and even harder to apply it because of (go make to beginning of my paragraph).

[nofeelings22]

 

Aren't there 4 other burrows though? And long island? Someone got me thinking in another thread about how Elliot Rodgers was partially inspired by hanging around with other guys who wouldn't admit the problem lay with them, so yes it can be difficult in some areas, way more difficult than it used to be, but it can still be done.

 

Ha ha... of course!

 

But Staten Island is hard to get to, the BX is too ghetto, Queens has potential and I only roll about as deep as Williamsburg in BK. ha ha

 

Long Island?? My ex wife was from South Shore. I OD'd on Long Island culture already. Never again. ha ha

 

I did see a chick from Jersey this summer for a bit s she moved into Manhattan.

 

But still... the trend is a reality in urban east coast areas anyway.

[nofeelings22]

Many people refuse to believe it is them. Pointing fingers is easier and takes less effort. It is also completely self defeating. When something "keeps happening to you", it is because you are the common denominator and need to rethink what you are doing. That goes for relationships, friendships, jobs, promotions, etc. It is often very hard to hear this though and even harder to apply it because of (go make to beginning of my paragraph).

 

I certainly hope you aren't referring to me. Let me remind you...

For the record, my first year+ relationship was in high school. Had 2 year and multi year relationships in college. Had a LOT of fun for several years after college traveling the world and not being serious.. then met my now ex wife, at which time we both dumped people we were seeing in a dating sense to be together.

 

Was with her 12 years, 10 of those in a marriage.

 

In half an hour I have a call with a long time on/off girl in Miami about getting serious. I had 2 dates in the past few days and another one Christmas eve. All different girls.

 

None of this changes the fact that a very significant minority of females, ages 20-30, in urban areas in the east coast, are choosing not to have relationships.

 

 

You can hook up with a few presses of a touch screen, but the next level is no longer a priority for many women.

 

Just look at the responses from all the real women here in this thread who are choosing this option. There are just like 2 or 3 super out of touch people (ie, you are not men dating women 20-30yrs old in urban areas of the east coast) who are arguing the trend down.

 

It's free love, baby. Like it ot not.

[CALOVELY]

I certainly hope you aren't referring to me. Let me remind you...

For the record, my first year+ relationship was in high school. Had 2 year and multi year relationships in college. Had a LOT of fun for several years after college traveling the world and not being serious.. then met my now ex wife, at which time we both dumped people we were seeing in a dating sense to be together.

 

Was with her 12 years, 10 of those in a marriage.

 

In half an hour I have a call with a long time on/off girl in Miami about getting serious. I had 2 dates in the past few days and another one Christmas eve. All different girls.

 

None of this changes the fact that a very significant minority of females, ages 20-30, in urban areas in the east coast, are choosing not to have relationships.

 

 

You can hook up with a few presses of a touch screen, but the next level is no longer a priority for many women.

 

Just look at the responses from all the real women here in this thread who are choosing this option. There are just like 2 or 3 super out of touch people (ie, you are not men dating women 20-30yrs old in urban areas of the east coast) who are arguing the trend down.

 

It's free love, baby. Like it ot not.

 

I have no idea why you thought I was referring to you. I was responding to another poster and what he wrote about Elliot Rodgers. Are you the ghost of Elliot Rodgers?

 

[Frank2thepoint]

Pointing fingers is easier and takes less effort.

 

You proved it by your own post. Just blame the men, that it's their fault that they don't get the relationship they want. The veiled man-hating sure does take less effort.

[CALOVELY]

You proved it by your own post. Just blame the men, that it's their fault that they don't get the relationship they want. The veiled man-hating sure does take less effort.

 

I'm not sure I understand your angry response. Blaming others instead of looking within and fixing your own issues isn't gender specific at all. I was responding to a poster who mentioned Elliott Rodgers, who blamed others. That isn't man-hating and I'm not sure why you took it that way. It seems you are unfairly projecting something on me though.

Edited December 23, 2014 by CALOVELY

[nofeelings22]

I'm not sure I understand your angry response. Blaming others instead of looking within and fixing your own issues isn't gender specific at all. I was responding to a poster who mentioned Elliott Rodgers, who blamed others. That isn't man-hating and I'm not sure why you took it that way. It seems you are unfairly projecting something on me though.

 

 

i guess we all misunderstood you?

[CALOVELY]

i guess we all misunderstood you?

 

Well you thought I was talking about you, so yes. The other guy, I don't know what he was suggesting. Either way, I was referring to Elliott Rodgers as an example of somebody who blamed everybody else instead of working on himself for better results. I didn't mean any offence to anybody here.

[ponchsox]

The jerks/bad boys and beta males are equally responsible for this.

[Frank2thepoint]

I'm not sure I understand your angry response. Blaming others instead of looking within and fixing your own issues isn't gender specific at all. I was responding to a poster who mentioned Elliott Rodgers, who blamed others. That isn't man-hating and I'm not sure why you took it that way. It seems you are unfairly projecting something on me though.

 

Basically I am asking, at what point does it become not the man's fault?

 

I'm not even implying it is the woman's fault. It's a shared responsibility. But there are quite a few women and men that just point their fingers that it is a man's problem that he hasn't gotten into a successful serious relationship.

[elaine567]

Basically I am asking, at what point does it become not the man's fault?

 

I'm not even implying it is the woman's fault. It's a shared responsibility. But there are quite a few women and men that just point their fingers that it is a man's problem that he hasn't gotten into a successful serious relationship.

 

That is probably grounded on the fact that men are still considered the chasers, the choosers, the pickers. Women play a more passive role

So whilst Belinda can sit and wonder why no man ever chose her, Boris is to blame for his lot, because he never got off his ass to fight for the woman of his dreams.

[gaius]

Well you thought I was talking about you, so yes. The other guy, I don't know what he was suggesting. Either way, I was referring to Elliott Rodgers as an example of somebody who blamed everybody else instead of working on himself for better results. I didn't mean any offence to anybody here.

I didn't get the vibe you were talking about anyone other than Elliot Rodgers, and a few other guys who refuse to look inward. nofeeling not being one of those. =/

 

And Frank, in your case it is 100% your fault, there is no shared responsibility. And yelling at CALOVELY isn't doing much to change or improve that.

[autumnnight]

I would think that the prudent thing for anyone who wants a fulfilling relationship to do is to stop analyzing how far things can go and it still not be their fault, and work on making themselves into a person with an attitude the opposite sex would find attractive rather than offensive. It's not that hard. No man wants to date a woman who hates men. No woman wants to date a man who hates women.

 

Not sure why we are turning second grade addition and subtraction into calculus.

[Under The Radar]

Calculus?

 

I barely made it out of 2nd grade ...... but given a calculator ...... or even an abacus ...... I just might ...... heavy emphasis on the word might ...... be open to dating someday.

 

P.S. I'm computer illiterate too

[elaine567]

It's not that hard. No man wants to date a woman who hates men. No woman wants to date a man who hates women.

 

This ^^^^^

Too many on here, give themselves away.

They post about being unsuccessful in love, yet their posts on other threads often show that they hate or disrespect or are offensive to the gender they are trying to attract.

[dragon_fly_7]

For several reasons:

 

1) There are more option for women other than having kids and relying on a man to support them financially. My main goal is finishing college and not daydreaming about Prince Charming. Going on vacation, helping the poor, giving donations, travelling are also other options. Plus some of us just simply don't want kids.

 

 

2) Unless you're religious and were raised that way, there is no point in the waiting till marriage anymore. That doesn't work if you want to have a career too because apart from finishing HS, you'll make that bf (if he's still around) wait 4+ yrs more and it'll depend on how long is that major. Plus, there is temptation too. Lastly, the longer a woman waits till marriage, the less likely she'll get a virgin man in return that waited out of choice.

 

 

3) Partly, the feminism thing are taking some stuff to the extreme and even thinking that literally every single thing should be equal.

 

 

4) Marriage has been lately becoming unnatural and it now always seems to be mainly the woman's idea, not something that both of them feel the same way about. Maybe more women don't want to end up being another one of those forever live-in gf that fantasizes about marriage and has to practically beg a man to propose because it no longer comes natural from the man himself....but basically it's like she's buying love...practically proposing to herself. Plus, what type of woman would want to marry a man who never who have wanted that himself.

 

 

5) Perhaps some of us don't want to repeat our parents' marriage esp if it really sucks and they're just treating each other like roommates and the only type of love they shared is the brotherly/sisterly one.

 

 

6) We got sick of tired of men with the whore/Madonna complex, etc. There are still men out there that if we have more than 2 partners, we're already ''damaged goods'' but they have the nerve to have sex with as many women as they want and still really think we should make all the effort and wait for leftoever like them. Screw it... then I'll rather be single then..... etc

Edited December 23, 2014 by dragon_fly_7

[xxoo]

I assume it is because these women have concluded through personal experience that relationships are not worth the trouble.