Why do Less and Less Women Want Marriage or Even a Relationship?

[hotpotato]

Me too....very adjusted to being single. But... I've never experienced all of this drama in relationships people talk about. Nor did being married change my alone time. When you pair bond with someone, being with them feels exactly like being single. You lose no freedom. You gain a second mind. It's like there is a data cable connecting your brains. You can have a quiet time alone.... together.[/Quote]

 

Um, yes you are losing freedom. For example, I dont she would be happy if you spent a large sum of money or went on a trip by yourself. You are making concessions to be in a relationship.

 

I've had several relationships and a 10 year marriage. There are rarely any issues at all. Even with the mentally ill ex wife, other than when things got bad for her on occasion, it was all easy times.

 

All it was was a loving, equally supporting life. Soooo simple.

 

Makes me wonder if all of those people who call pair bonding "co dependent" just are so emotionally distant from your partners that problems arise.

 

I could count on one hand the number of fights I've been in even with a diagnosed, mentally I'll ex in 12 years together.

 

Thats nice, but its still drama. No two people are completely alike so theres bound to ve some kind of drama.

 

There is simply no drama if you are 100% open with your partner in every way and make them a priority in your life. All you have to do is give. It's sooo easy.

 

But it seems not many people want to try anymore.

 

If only things were simple. Ive tried those things. Hasnt worked so far. Now I have other priorities in life.

Edited December 22, 2014 by hotpotato

[ponchsox]

Because women can get penis whenever they want from Tinder and if they find some desperate sucked they make out like a bandit.

[No Limit]

What would I want with a relationship right now?

 

I have to get my brain motor going for school, go home and am glad when I have a few hours of peace doing my internet stuff and watching TV. Some sport exercise here and there. And if I'd be the type to screw any guy that passes my window I wouldn't have much problem regarding sexual satisfaction either - although I just go out on the weekends and enjoy showing off with my newly learned dance moves.

Besides I travel a lot and I'm afraid I don't know anyone else who could afford that (now I travel on my own anyway so I wouldn't mind, but I guess Mr. Boyfriend will find it tiresome eventually).

Not to mention relationship drama caused by jealousy, cheating and so on - no thanks. I'd prefer FWB, sex without strings attached. Hopefully I'll find a guy with similar interests someday, although sex only seems to be pretty popular among young men.

 

Nope, don't marry me. I'll honestly advise any long-term boyfriend against proposing. Chances are you'll have a weak moment when a woman offers herself and me at your throat afterwards. And a vindictive ex-wife - or worse, a vindictive ex-wife who is also the mother of your children so will do anything to keep them safe from your midlife crisis - really isn't worth it, doesn't matter if she's 101% faithful for life.

[nofeelings22]

What would I want with a relationship right now?

 

I have to get my brain motor going for school, go home and am glad when I have a few hours of peace doing my internet stuff and watching TV. Some sport exercise here and there. And if I'd be the type to screw any guy that passes my window I wouldn't have much problem regarding sexual satisfaction either - although I just go out on the weekends and enjoy showing off with my newly learned dance moves.

Besides I travel a lot and I'm afraid I don't know anyone else who could afford that (now I travel on my own anyway so I wouldn't mind, but I guess Mr. Boyfriend will find it tiresome eventually).

Not to mention relationship drama caused by jealousy, cheating and so on - no thanks. I'd prefer FWB, sex without strings attached. Hopefully I'll find a guy with similar interests someday, although sex only seems to be pretty popular among young men.

 

Nope, don't marry me. I'll honestly advise any long-term boyfriend against proposing. Chances are you'll have a weak moment when a woman offers herself and me at your throat afterwards. And a vindictive ex-wife - or worse, a vindictive ex-wife who is also the mother of your children so will do anything to keep them safe from your midlife crisis - really isn't worth it, doesn't matter if she's 101% faithful for life.

 

 

Another one... right here on LS. See? There is a trend... a movement.

 

I'm just tired of hooking up with different girls all the time. I'd like things to be more traditional again.

 

Alas, you can't change the world. You can only change yourself....

[kenmore]

Nope, don't marry me. I'll honestly advise any long-term boyfriend against proposing. Chances are you'll have a weak moment when a woman offers herself and me at your throat afterwards. And a vindictive ex-wife - or worse, a vindictive ex-wife who is also the mother of your children so will do anything to keep them safe from your midlife crisis - really isn't worth it, doesn't matter if she's 101% faithful for life.

 

He's right, this is exactly what happened to me. My "wife" doesn't want to be married and if she knew that about herself before we got married, we wouldn't be.

 

She sought me out on Yahoo!! She told me she thought I was hot and wanted to be with me, but she can't be in a relationship because she wants to be alone.

 

I feel that I lost a number of good years being with someone who doesn't want a relationship. Kudos to you for knowing that now. I know you're projecting cheating before it actually happens, but it doesn't most of the time. I would never cheat, and even now that I'm getting divorced, I would not even date because I'm still technically married.

 

But once we're done (and she's causing it), I'm going out there to find a FB. I'll be content with that for awhile I think....

[elaine567]

I haven't noticed this trend and curious about whether or not this is your lay observation on dating sites or if there is some marriage census you're observing to see a broader picture of this as any social trend. My friend is a wedding planner and has as many weddings as ever though. My brother is a photographer and isn't short of weddings. It's Christmas time and the engagement ring commercials are out and when I was on my way home I saw a man propose at the airport. So from where I stand people are still marrying and getting on with things as usual.

 

Some people may not want marriage but still have LTRs and cohabit.

 

I don't look at women's dating profiles so I don't know what they want, and even if I were looking at women's profiles it's not like you're looking at all women from all parts of America to know if this is truly a trend...the women you see based on your filters are not really "vast majority of single women." And even if you looked at ALL women's profiles in every part of America that still only represents women who use OLD and says nothing of those who don't.

 

In terms of my own observations of my own life and circle...I don't see less and less relationships or marriage or desire for it. Many of my gfs are in serious relationships, a couple are married, some are dating casually, some are looking and most eventually want partnership, myself included.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/10892623/Marriage-boom-as-Britain-experiences-the-feel-good-factor.html

 

"The number of weddings in England and Wales jumped by 5.3 per cent in 2012 to more than 262,000 – the highest level for a decade and one of the biggest single increases since the early 1970s, according to the Office for National Statistics.

But analysis by the Marriage Foundation think-tank concludes that the true increase could be as much as 11 per cent when estimates for the number of couples flying abroad to get married are taken into account.

In percentage terms that would be the biggest rise since the surge in weddings when British servicemen returned from war in 1945."

[hotpotato]

What would I want with a relationship right now?

 

I have to get my brain motor going for school, go home and am glad when I have a few hours of peace doing my internet stuff and watching TV. Some sport exercise here and there. And if I'd be the type to screw any guy that passes my window I wouldn't have much problem regarding sexual satisfaction either - although I just go out on the weekends and enjoy showing off with my newly learned dance moves.

Besides I travel a lot and I'm afraid I don't know anyone else who could afford that (now I travel on my own anyway so I wouldn't mind, but I guess Mr. Boyfriend will find it tiresome eventually).

Not to mention relationship drama caused by jealousy, cheating and so on - no thanks. I'd prefer FWB, sex without strings attached. Hopefully I'll find a guy with similar interests someday, although sex only seems to be pretty popular among young men.

 

Nope, don't marry me. I'll honestly advise any long-term boyfriend against proposing. Chances are you'll have a weak moment when a woman offers herself and me at your throat afterwards. And a vindictive ex-wife - or worse, a vindictive ex-wife who is also the mother of your children so will do anything to keep them safe from your midlife crisis - really isn't worth it, doesn't matter if she's 101% faithful for life.

 

I think I could be married, I just need a lot of "me" time. Most guys are gonna take this personally. *shrug*

 

I had a fwb fall in love with me.

 

Other than that, I can relate to what you wrote.

 

Another one... right here on LS. See? There is a trend... a movement.

 

I'm just tired of hooking up with different girls all the time. I'd like things to be more traditional again.

 

Alas, you can't change the world. You can only change yourself....

 

Most women want to date and get married. You're gonna be fine lol

[nofeelings22]

I think I could be married, I just need a lot of "me" time. Most guys are gonna take this personally. *shrug*

 

I had a fwb fall in love with me.

 

Other than that, I can relate to what you wrote.

 

 

 

Most women want to date and get married. You're gonna be fine lol

 

 

At this current moment, this isn't the case in the demographic. Look, there were 2 of them right here even in our more touchy/feely emotional LS crowd. Imagine how rthe less emotionally developed of the world are. I have no experience with over 30 girls because i can't seem to find any, but the 20's ones are mostly looking to hook up.

 

I'm sure some 20's guys have noticed this?

 

But thanks all for the responses.

[hotpotato]

At this current moment, this isn't the case in the demographic. Look, there were 2 of them right here even in our more touchy/feely emotional LS crowd. Imagine how rthe less emotionally developed of the world are. I have no experience with over 30 girls because i can't seem to find any, but the 20's ones are mostly looking to hook up.

 

I'm sure some 20's guys have noticed this?

 

But thanks all for the responses.

 

Two women out of all the women on ls isnt much.

 

Many guys in their 20s are really horny. I doubt they mind if girl only wants to hook up. Lol

 

I suppose the less eloquent ladies may have a problem recognizing that their true feelings.

[Weezy1973]

At this current moment, this isn't the case in the demographic. Look, there were 2 of them right here even in our more touchy/feely emotional LS crowd. Imagine how rthe less emotionally developed of the world are. I have no experience with over 30 girls because i can't seem to find any, but the 20's ones are mostly looking to hook up.

 

I'm sure some 20's guys have noticed this?

 

But thanks all for the responses.

 

Seriously?!? Did you not even look at the Gallup poll I posted? Only 5% of people in the U.S. that are single don't want to get married. The number does jump up to 8% in the 18-34 demographic. And in those 8% you have to think some of them just don't believe in the institution of marriage but they still want a committed, monogamous relationship.

 

Confirmation bias. You're ignoring evidence that counters your belief, and only paying attention to "evidence" (such as pointing to 2 LS posters who don't want marriage) to confirm your belief (a.k.a bias).

 

The majority of adults are married. The vast majority of single adults want to get married. Why are you refusing to see this?

[elaine567]

On another thread a poster mentioned that ugly women can hook up with just about anyone, but their chances of a real relationship with hot guys is nil.

As hot guys want trophy wives.

 

Is it then not possible that "hot" women may hook up with a lesser man just for sex on OLD, because they feel horny, but for a real relationships, they are setting their standards a bit higher and looking elsewhere?

 

Women in their twenties especially if they go to college or uni or are forging a career, may not really want long term committed relationships until they are 30+.

 

Also why go on OLD if your campus or your life is full of available guys your own age looking for a relationship. Perhaps those "looking for a relationship" twenty something women are already filtered out, as they have no need to go on OLD.

That would mean that the majority of that age group on OLD, are NOT really looking for relationships, just fun and sex.

[No Limit]

Another one... right here on LS. See? There is a trend... a movement.

 

Yes, but just one. I think this trend is smaller than you think. Personally I'm the only single girl in my friend circle who decided against a classic relationship.

 

I'm just tired of hooking up with different girls all the time. I'd like things to be more traditional again.

 

See, you're now out of the phase where you have to hook up with plenty of different girls until you know for certain that they're all equally as pink inside, and only now are you ready to commit (into a traditional relationship). Thing is that plenty of guys break up with their GFs after like 3 years into the relationship because they didn't live through a ONS-only-phase, so that's a lot of time lost for the girl who thought you were someone serious.

 

But I'm not willing to wait around until a guy feels like he likes me a lot, then feels his crotch itching only to come back later. And in my age range (pre-20s) that seems to be the most common relationship dynamic, so I rather stay hands-off.

 

But don't you fret, most girls still want a marriage. I'm sure there's one for you too.

 

Alas, you can't change the world. You can only change yourself....

 

Indeed, that's why I stick to single life.

 

He's right, this is exactly what happened to me. My "wife" doesn't want to be married and if she knew that about herself before we got married, we wouldn't be.

 

*She's

Thing is I'm pretty much the youngest here on LS for a reason, I don't know anyone irl who sits down and seriously thinks about relationships and commitment. Made my list with pro's and con's and they weighed against relationships, so I'll be single. I have no desire to lead people on.

 

I feel that I lost a number of good years being with someone who doesn't want a relationship. Kudos to you for knowing that now. I know you're projecting cheating before it actually happens, but it doesn't most of the time. I would never cheat, and even now that I'm getting divorced, I would not even date because I'm still technically married.

 

Yeah but you're pretty much a rarity these days. And I'm afraid I'm too lazy to date around until I finally hit gold. I asked myself how I'd react to cheating in a marriage and I'm afraid I would lash out harshly or do the old move-across-the-country-thing when he decides to parade his plaything in front of the kids; too bad I'd be conflicted about that move too because taking a man's children (if the guy cares for them) is one of the most cruel things you can do. So, no thanks, I'm not marriage material.

 

I had a fwb fall in love with me.

 

A friend of mine had two ONS fall in love with her. But I'd break FWB off if that happened. No need to lead the poor guy on, although I'll have to be sneaky to notice that I guess - I see more and more "How can I make her fall in love with me"-stuff popping up in the internet.

[stillafool]

I've seen a trend.

 

Certainly, marriage is on the decline. Seems nobody wants to do this anymore. I think I'd take a second crack at it, but hardly any currently unmarried people see it as a viable option.

 

Now, as a single guy, I'm seeing the that the vast majority of single women are not looking for a relationship of any kind!

 

Literally nothing. It's right in their profiles. They seem to be content to just have strings of dudes in and out the door, multi dating or just just changing guys every week .

 

What's the story here?

 

Anyone understand this trend?

 

This is funny because women are saying the exact thing about men.

 

Also the birth rate is severely declining. I guess people have so many options now it is hard to want to settle down.

[stillafool]

On another thread a poster mentioned that ugly women can hook up with just about anyone, but their chances of a real relationship with hot guys is nil.

As hot guys want trophy wives.

 

 

Not just hot guys are looking for trophy wives but most guys with good careers or money seem to look for trophy wives. It's always been this way.

[me85]

Because this topic pertains to me, I will give a response.

 

The reason why I am not currently looking for a RS is:

1. Because I am perfectly content with being single. I've always taken care of myself, with the exception of my last bf who encouraged me to go back to school full time and not work. He wanted to take care of me so I accepted his most generous offer for one year. Other than that, it's been me who's looked out for me.

2. Because I've had my heart badly broken 3 times too many and am terrified of getting hurt like that again. It just isn't worth it to me.

3. Because I've become insecure about myself, my body, and my ability to make a RS work. There are things I need to work on with myself before I get seriously involved again. I'm taking time to sort my life out and provide things for myself.

4. Because I'm completely emotionally unavailable.

[nofeelings22]

Seriously?!? Did you not even look at the Gallup poll I posted? Only 5% of people in the U.S. that are single don't want to get married. The number does jump up to 8% in the 18-34 demographic. And in those 8% you have to think some of them just don't believe in the institution of marriage but they still want a committed, monogamous relationship.

 

Confirmation bias. You're ignoring evidence that counters your belief, and only paying attention to "evidence" (such as pointing to 2 LS posters who don't want marriage) to confirm your belief (a.k.a bias).

 

The majority of adults are married. The vast majority of single adults want to get married. Why are you refusing to see this?

 

 

You are sitting in Vancouver at a desk, theorizing about American women ages 20-30.

 

I have around 30-40 of them I am very close with personally as friends and I'm privy to many of their deepest thoughts as well as the goings on in their lives.

 

I have also hooked up with or dated somewhere around another 15 of them recently.

 

Your posts are that of an armchair dater. I've seen arm chair sailors do the same thing. Great theories and all, but you aren't living it. You aren't friends with or playing hook up musical chars with these 20-30 yo American women in major cities on the east coast of the USA. I am.

 

Add my experience to the pof search as well as the people right here that have said they do the same... and there is a definite trend....just as real as women striving to have big asses is a trend.

[nofeelings22]

Because this topic pertains to me, I will give a response.

 

The reason why I am not currently looking for a RS is:

1. Because I am perfectly content with being single. I've always taken care of myself, with the exception of my last bf who encouraged me to go back to school full time and not work. He wanted to take care of me so I accepted his most generous offer for one year. Other than that, it's been me who's looked out for me.

2. Because I've had my heart badly broken 3 times too many and am terrified of getting hurt like that again. It just isn't worth it to me.

3. Because I've become insecure about myself, my body, and my ability to make a RS work. There are things I need to work on with myself before I get seriously involved again. I'm taking time to sort my life out and provide things for myself.

4. Because I'm completely emotionally unavailable.

 

 

 

And that now makes 3 just on this forum who have decided to share why. (thank you me85). If you venture into the actual dating world, there are much less emotionally available people than your average love shack poster.

 

These less emotionally available people in real life have put off or canceled the idea of having relationships.

 

It is an interesting trend, but I've sorted out my approach already.

 

If you can't beat them, join them.

 

I'll just grab one in a more informal way, show her an awesome time/life experience and it'll happen naturally over time.

 

The sneak attack! ha ha

 

 

Edit: Further, I'd like to add that analyzing and predicting trends in populations of people is a bit of a skill of mine. It's one reason I do well. This is legit. I have no data on men, but maybe they are doing the same.

 

And.. I'm not personally disturbed by this trend. I'd LIKE for it to go back to more traditional ways of dating, but what's an old man to do? I have to adapt and flourish in the new hookup culture. I can long for a bygone era, but that's a waste of time. I'll get a girl like I always do. Always had a relationship or marriage in the past. The rules odf the game have just changed a bit since I got out of a 10 year marriage.

Edited December 22, 2014 by nofeelings22

[hotpotato]

We are talking 3 people out of the entire loveshack community

[me85]

We are talking 3 people out of the entire loveshack community

 

But, um, I doubt the entire LS community has responded to this thread. Or has even seen this thread.

[Purepony]

Some of these idiots don't think they're going to get old wait till their 50 and still taking selfies on Instagram

[gaius]

What would I want with a relationship right now?

 

I have to get my brain motor going for school, go home and am glad when I have a few hours of peace doing my internet stuff and watching TV. Some sport exercise here and there. And if I'd be the type to screw any guy that passes my window I wouldn't have much problem regarding sexual satisfaction either - although I just go out on the weekends and enjoy showing off with my newly learned dance moves.

Besides I travel a lot and I'm afraid I don't know anyone else who could afford that (now I travel on my own anyway so I wouldn't mind, but I guess Mr. Boyfriend will find it tiresome eventually).

Not to mention relationship drama caused by jealousy, cheating and so on - no thanks. I'd prefer FWB, sex without strings attached. Hopefully I'll find a guy with similar interests someday, although sex only seems to be pretty popular among young men.

 

Nope, don't marry me. I'll honestly advise any long-term boyfriend against proposing. Chances are you'll have a weak moment when a woman offers herself and me at your throat afterwards. And a vindictive ex-wife - or worse, a vindictive ex-wife who is also the mother of your children so will do anything to keep them safe from your midlife crisis - really isn't worth it, doesn't matter if she's 101% faithful for life.

Sounds worth it to me.

 

I used to think like that when I was younger, before I got hit with how great intimacy with another person can really be. It can kind of wake up emotions and part of you that you didn't even know existed. You might find your opinion changing drastically once you find that guy who's not intimidated and actually goes after you.

[NJ123]

Well yet another man vs woman bashing of each other thread. If you're a guy, and want a relationship so bad why worry about the ones that don't want relationships? There's plenty of women out there that do.

[nofeelings22]

Well yet another man vs woman bashing of each other thread. If you're a guy, and want a relationship so bad why worry about the ones that don't want relationships? There's plenty of women out there that do.

 

You are reading into this thread all wrong..

 

There is nothing wrong with either sex choosing not to have a relationship.

 

It is what it is. Nobody is bashing either sex here.

 

It's just a curiosity.

 

If I was a woman or gay, I'd be able to comment on what 20-30 yo guys are doing. I don't really know more than 3 of them though.

[No Limit]

Sounds worth it to me.

 

I used to think like that when I was younger, before I got hit with how great intimacy with another person can really be. It can kind of wake up emotions and part of you that you didn't even know existed. You might find your opinion changing drastically once you find that guy who's not intimidated and actually goes after you.

 

So, you want a vampire-ex burning your car down?

 

I have no doubt that my current opinion on relationships can change in time. Who knows, maybe there'll be a guy who manages to sweep me off my feet, literally. But for now I have no reason to hunt a guy down for a relationship.

[Frank2thepoint]

That said, most men who gripe about women not wanting relationships are those who aren't really relationship worthy for anyone. So, it stands to reason they'd be quite frustrated.

 

Here we go. Wild and baseless accusations. Men that want a serious relationship but can't get one is not their fault. You assume that a man that wants a relationship, just has to advertise it, and compatible women will line up to him. If he can't get one, then there is something wrong with him, and no woman wants him.

 

Some of the issues are either the environment/demographic (such as with me in NYC where more single men want a serious relationship compared to single women, and single women in their 30s want less to do with relationships), and/or having bad luck such as not meeting suitable women for a serious relationship (for example, women that blame men for their own fault at not finding a serious relationship).