Karma Bus Strikes again.

[Man Mountain Makino]

Don't count on the Karma Bus. It runs on a very unreliable schedule.

[Clay]

Will xOM #1 fight for his kids like you did, or will he leave them to her and that thug she is with now? Your own children left to the mercy of two maniacs, no, that definitely wasn't a good Christmas for him.

 

I guess he'd be happier if he were as careless about his kids as he was about choosing his partner. I don't know many people who wouldn't have crawled to you OP to beg you for information about how you got your kids.

 

It honestly sounds like the xOM is not in a good position to fight. He has never really held down a good job according to the kids. Over the years the argument has been he has a bad back. The last four jobs I know he has had he has been fired at at least 2 of them. All this is according to my kids and my xW. HomeDepot, Walmart, Local Pawn Shop and now Harbor Freight. He works part time there.

 

I know for the most part he was probably the more responsible out of the two of them. I do hope he does fight but it sounds like he is holding out some hope of her leaving the new guy and coming back to him.

 

My kids gathers their things from his house on Christmas eve. So I think it will probably the last time they go over there. My son does not want to go back and I am not really fond about leaving my daughter over there alone with him.

 

Clay

[Clay]

Don't count on the Karma Bus. It runs on a very unreliable schedule.

 

You know I never counted on it in the first place and to tell you the truth I would have preferred that they stayed together. That way they would not be out ruining someone elses life and my kids wouldn't have to learn someone new again.

 

I do know one thing. She never got her tubes tied with this last child and she is horrible about taking the pill. Its only a matter of time before the new guy ends up being a daddy.

 

Clay

[Spectre]

The kids clearly disagree. Otherwise they wouldn't be devastated. Which makes laughing at what left them devastated more than a bit goulish and against the "I'm looking out for the kids" angle.

 

Nope this is you just being crazy. Being happy the OM got what he deserved and being glad the kids are hurt are not the same thing. If the guy had said "well, it would be worth it to hurt my kids just to gloat at this guy" you might have a point, but that is not the case. He's laughing the OM got a taste of his own medicine. It does not mean he doesn't recognize the kids still got hurt by the mothers actions, but there is nothing he can do about that.

 

So the OM must have gloated at the OP chucking out his wife and divorcing, making him a scumbag.... By logical extension means when the OP gloats over the OM'S divorce, that makes him a...

 

At the very least, it means hes acting just the same as the OM and it's time to put away the victim/moral superiority angle. You're thinking of your satisfaction and supposed vindication at a scenario that has devastated kids, just like you assume they did

 

This isn't hard to understand. The guy had reason to gloat at this OM at least, since the OM actually did something to him. Whereas..the OP did nothing to this other man his wife cheated with to warrant any gloating. Do you not get how these things work or are you just ignoring it on purpose?

Edited December 27, 2014 by Spectre

[Hope Shimmers]

I mean honestly I just cant stop laughing about it. Its like the best gift all year but I still have to be there for my kids.

 

I see nothing funny about it. At all.

 

She destroyed the lives of her/your children. And yours too, but that doesn't mean you should find it funny that she continues to destroy the lives of her children. Yes, I know you are wanting to laugh because the OM got what you got... but nothing is funny about ANY of it.

[Raena]

The kids clearly disagree. Otherwise they wouldn't be devastated. Which makes laughing at what left them devastated more than a bit goulish and against the "I'm looking out for the kids" angle.

 

You missed my point completely... went right over your head. Kids will love their parents regardless and be devastated by actions like this one whether they respect the parent or not. In fact, situations like this one will more than likely make the children dislike their mother very much, especially later on in life when they look back and realize EXACTLY what she did. That has absolutely NOTHING to do with how Clay feels about what's happened to the OM. It's like you are completely forgetting that this particular OM caused a great deal of pain and suffering in the lives of Clay's children to begin with. This is just one more thing added to the list. Besides, he's allowed his private thoughts and the right to come here and vent about it. It doesn't make him any less of a parent or less caring about their needs either.

[Raena]

I see nothing funny about it. At all.

 

She destroyed the lives of her/your children. And yours too, but that doesn't mean you should find it funny that she continues to destroy the lives of her children. Yes, I know you are wanting to laugh because the OM got what you got... but nothing is funny about ANY of it.

 

It's not funny, but sometimes people do get exactly what they deserve. She isn't the one he's laughing at, he's laughing at the OM who thought she'd be OH SO DIFFERENT for him than she was for Clay. He isn't laughing that his children are in pain that I can see. I see him saying that this OM got exactly what he deserves... for her to to do him exactly what she did to Clay. You get what you give in this world. There is a difference here.. and besides, it's not like him laughing in private to himself about all of this is going to change the fact that it happened or that he feels bad for his kids. If my ex did the same to his OW you can your bottom dollar I'd be laughing at her. Heck, I already do laugh at her because she thinks she won some prize but yet he's already cheated on her. That doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off that he's hurting our son in the process. They are two different things.

[Hope Shimmers]

It's not funny, but sometimes people do get exactly what they deserve. She isn't the one he's laughing at, he's laughing at the OM who thought she'd be OH SO DIFFERENT for him than she was for Clay. He isn't laughing that his children are in pain that I can see. I see him saying that this OM got exactly what he deserves... for her to to do him exactly what she did to Clay. You get what you give in this world. There is a difference here.. and besides, it's not like him laughing in private to himself about all of this is going to change the fact that it happened or that he feels bad for his kids. If my ex did the same to his OW you can your bottom dollar I'd be laughing at her. Heck, I already do laugh at her because she thinks she won some prize but yet he's already cheated on her. That doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off that he's hurting our son in the process. They are two different things.

 

I get who he's laughing at, and why. I didn't direct my post to you Raena. I directed it to the OP.

[Raena]

I feel exactly the same way. I find it hard to believe that someone would think just because I came up on this site and posted this it means I must care very little for my kids.

 

I appreciate your support and I have read your threads as well. I hope things are going much better for you.

 

Clay

 

Thanks Clay. I completely get where you are coming from. I wish I could say things are better, but you know how it is... my ex is just as nutty as your ex is. I suspect he's going to have a difficult time figuring things out for quite some time. Relationships that start as affairs tend to not work out well just simply because of how it began. They started off with a load of baggage that just isn't going to get much better as time goes by. It's unfortunate that your ex hasn't been able to get her crap together. The best you can do is get it all off your chest here and with your close friends/family/whomever you trust and then turn around and be there for your kids.

 

Good luck to ya... I'll be watching for your posts

[Raena]

I get who he's laughing at, and why. I didn't direct my post to you Raena. I directed it to the OP.

 

I know exactly who you were posting to... but this is a public forum... if you wanted to have a direct conversation with just him then send him a pm.

[Hope Shimmers]

I know exactly who you were posting to... but this is a public forum... if you wanted to have a direct conversation with just him then send him a pm.

 

Why do you think I wanted to have a private conversation with him? I just replied to the post.

 

I understood everything you said and I didn't need you to point it out to me. It was meant for him, as it was his thread. It's a public forum, but if you read the rules, replies to thread posts are supposed to be directed to the OP. That's what I did. Enough said.

Edited December 27, 2014 by Hope Shimmers

[Redheaded Mistress]

Redheaded Mistress,

 

I appreciate all your thoughts. Thank you for taking the time to read my thread.

 

Your thoughts and your criticisms mean very little to me. I do care about what people think and say but I think your past just gets in the way of me taking anything you have to say seriously. I wish you and your family the best of luck and thanks for commenting on my thread.

 

Clay

 

At least your honest. But it does go to show I'm right and you haven't moved on.

[Redheaded Mistress]

Nope this is you just being crazy. Being happy the OM got what he deserved and being glad the kids are hurt are not the same thing. If the guy had said "well, it would be worth it to hurt my kids just to gloat at this guy" you might have a point, but that is not the case. He's laughing the OM got a taste of his own medicine. It does not mean he doesn't recognize the kids still got hurt by the mothers actions, but there is nothing he can do about that.

 

I'm not saying he's glad the kids are hurt, only that his priority may be personal satisfaction at "karma" and not making sure the kids are ok.

 

If your kid jumped on a trampolene, fell, and broke his arm, would it be funny? A car accident that maimed them? If they were physically injured, would you say mode of their injury was satisfying or amusing? Probably not. I bet you'd think it's disturbing to have a parent of a physically injured child ask if he could chuckle over the incident that seriously hurt them.

 

Here, the injury isn't physical, it's emotional. But it's just as off-putting to have kid's crying in their room while the parent goes online and talks about if he can laugh over it or add further insult to injury. We've established that I had affair and thus there is no reason to ever listen to what I say, but I've never found anything that hurt my kids that seriously to be funny, gloatworthy, or satisfying.

 

This isn't hard to understand. The guy had reason to gloat at this OM at least, since the OM actually did something to him. Whereas..the OP did nothing to this other man his wife cheated with to warrant any gloating. Do you not get how these things work or are you just ignoring it on purpose?

 

I guess I don't subscribe to the "I don't like you so it's ok to laugh at your misery" train of thought, especially when said misery has my kids crying up in their rooms and could put them at risk. I doubt he'd appreciated people he doesn't like or don't like him pointing and laughing at his failed marriage so I'm not sure why he'd want to be that to somebody else. Being a BS doesn't give you a pass to forgo decent behavior or call bad behavior justified.

[Redheaded Mistress]

You missed my point completely... went right over your head. Kids will love their parents regardless and be devastated by actions like this one whether they respect the parent or not. In fact, situations like this one will more than likely make the children dislike their mother very much, especially later on in life when they look back and realize EXACTLY what she did. That has absolutely NOTHING to do with how Clay feels about what's happened to the OM. It's like you are completely forgetting that this particular OM caused a great deal of pain and suffering in the lives of Clay's children to begin with. This is just one more thing added to the list. Besides, he's allowed his private thoughts and the right to come here and vent about it. It doesn't make him any less of a parent or less caring about their needs either.

 

So what did the OM "add to the list" by being cheated on, dumped, and losing his kids? I just see that people here want to hate him for what he did, and they will do that ignoring how that behavior impacts the kids. Even by your statement that kids love abusive parents, it's clear these kids are hurt by the breakup. Deeply hurt. Which means laughing or getting satisfaction at what has left them hurt really kind of inappropriate.

 

If you or the OP want to hate this guy forever, that's fine, and if you want to laugh at every misfortune that comes his way, that's fine too. But people aren't going to believe he's moved on and people are going to be confused at being happy and satisfied at something that has destroyed his kids. Since his is remarried, I wonder how she feels that he takes such satisfaction in her misery and the misery of his ex's other half or why it matters so much to him they get hit by karma? Can anybody here say if their husband was acting like this about an ex that they'd feel good about it?

[Spectre]

I'm not saying he's glad the kids are hurt, only that his priority may be personal satisfaction at "karma" and not making sure the kids are ok.

 

I have seen nothing to suggest his kids being okay is not a priority.

 

If your kid jumped on a trampolene, fell, and broke his arm, would it be funny? A car accident that maimed them? If they were physically injured, would you say mode of their injury was satisfying or amusing? Probably not. I bet you'd think it's disturbing to have a parent of a physically injured child ask if he could chuckle over the incident that seriously hurt them.

 

What are you talking about? Those things you described, none of them are living beings, a trampoline, a car accident?

 

Here, the injury isn't physical, it's emotional. But it's just as off-putting to have kid's crying in their room while the parent goes online and talks about if he can laugh over it or add further insult to injury. We've established that I had affair and thus there is no reason to ever listen to what I say, but I've never found anything that hurt my kids that seriously to be funny, gloatworthy, or satisfying.

 

Adults and children are not the same thing. The kids do not know the intricacies of this situation. Yes, the kids are hurt, but it doesn't mean you don't care about the kids if you gloat over the fact the OM got what was coming to him. He's not happy the kids are hurt.

 

I guess I don't subscribe to the "I don't like you so it's ok to laugh at your misery" train of thought, especially when said misery has my kids crying up in their rooms and could put them at risk. I doubt he'd appreciated people he doesn't like or don't like him pointing and laughing at his failed marriage so I'm not sure why he'd want to be that to somebody else. Being a BS doesn't give you a pass to forgo decent behavior or call bad behavior justified.

 

He isn't pointing and laughing at anyone, he is on an internet forum. You sound like a typical WS, focusing on all the wrong things. You know, people are complicated beings. We can feel glad one person is miserable while at the same time not being glad others are miserable.

[Clay]

My kids are doing better. My son really just doesn't care at all. He was recently cheated on by a girl he was seeing and I think he really gets it. I think to some degree he is just distancing himself from his mom. I think that is a very smart move for him to do. She is clearly a very destructive person. My daughter she was hung up on it but I cut back her calling her mom to ever other day and now she seems alot happier. Sure upfront she was mad but clearly by the fact she is playing and being her normal chatter box self so things are some what returning to normal.

 

My wife and I have talked and I think we are going to take the xW back to court and push to have the visitation agreement modified to supervised visits only. Its clear she is still not using good judgement and she is willing to put all the kids into harms way to benefit herself.

 

Christmas was really good for us other wise. I hope everyone else had a great Christmas too.

 

Clay

Edited December 29, 2014 by Clay

[sandylee1]

I feel for your daughter in all this. Your ex clearly has serious issues, but I can't ever imagine leaving my children no matter what happened. It's a shame because later in life your dd will have this on her mind and it could affect her own future relationships. How inconsiderate of your ex.

 

I wish your ex could see the damage she's causing............It's just so sad. I would say she's a sad excuse of a mother, but she has serious issues going on deep inside her so I won't even go there. Someone should advise your ex to get counselling to figure out why she continues this destructive pattern of behaviour.

 

Anyway, I'm glad you're in a new marriage and be strong for your daughter.

[Spectre]

The fact that she has serious issues is all the more reason to go there. When we turn a blind eye to stuff like this people grow up and turn out..exactly how this woman did.

[Mrs. John Adams]

Clay..I am curious...are things better? Has she contacted the children?

[Clay]

Clay..I am curious...are things better? Has she contacted the children?

 

She talks to my daughter but as always my daughter has to be the one to call. She never calls for either of the kids. My daughter has finally started to detach some and I know that is sad but I think in this case its probably for the best. Her mother for some stupid reason always has her phone on the speaker phone and her new BF comments about my daughter in negative ways. For instance if she is arguing with her mother about leaving he speaks up and says if she was there he would slap her in her mouth and teach her a lesson. He has made other statements about physically punishing her. Her mother does not stand up for her or tell him to step back at all. I will never understand it but all I can do is be there for her and keep encourage her to see things for the way they are not the way her mom wants to say they are.

 

Clay

[Mrs. John Adams]

Oh my! I am sorry...but I would tell her the phone calls are private and if not then she cannot talk to your daughter. It is none of his business...he is not her husband..he is nothing to your children. No way I would allow some jerk to say things like that to my daughter.

 

I am sorry but your x wife sounds like a real piece of work. You are right...detachment may be the very best thing for everyone involved.

 

I sure hate to hear this clay. Your children don't deserve this ...but sometimes try as we might..life is not fair...and you can't fix stupid.

 

Keep us posted please.

[Clay]

She is missing out. I think for once in there life they really see there mother for who she really is. I would like to say as a betrayed spouse that it makes me feel good but honestly it just breaks my heart. I feel I let my kids down by choosing to be with a woman that cares so little about her kids.

 

Clay

[Mrs. John Adams]

Like I said...you can't fix stupid....I wish I could say maybe someday she will wake up and regret what she has done...but sadly...she probably won't.

[Selfish]

Like I said...you can't fix stupid....I wish I could say maybe someday she will wake up and regret what she has done...but sadly...she probably won't.

 

She might. There are many stories of that happening. But then it is too late and nothing can bring back the lost time. Sometimes some sort relationship is forged between estranged parents/children but nothing can ever make it what it could have been. If that happens at all.

[Mrs. John Adams]

You are right. The one thing we can never give back is time...it marches on regardless. She can't turn back the hands of time for her daughter...and that is the price she will pay.

 

Clay is doing a good job raising his kids. He has accepted his responsibility and provides for them and gives them a loving home. Kudos clay!