Karma Bus Strikes again.

[spanz1]

I know this sounds mean but a part of me wants to go to the OM's work and laugh at him. I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family. Why should I not get a little joy in seeing him suffer.

 

I mean honestly I just cant stop laughing about it. Its like the best gift all year but I still have to be there for my kids.

 

Clay

 

have a flower shop send one of those horseshoe shaped flower bouquets, like the mob would send to the funeral of someone they whacked, just to show how you really care!

[Allumere]

I can't blame you for having those thoughts in your head...I certainly would. With that said, I don't believe in Karma (the socialized incorrect version, not the Buddist one) as most of the time the "bad" person goes on to live a great life showered with rewards (material/earthly..not necessarily the other kind).

Edited December 19, 2014 by Allumere

[No Limit]

Your ex is a real piece of work. I guess she'll tour from state to state now.

I'd get OM #1 some chocolate and give it to him at his job to be honest.

Edited December 20, 2014 by No Limit

[autumnnight]

I hurt for your daughter. I am glad she has you. I also pity your X in a pathetic sort of way. There is no way she can be anything but an empty, unhappy, human being who is afraid to look in the mirror. THAT is the worst "karma" of all - to hate yourself and know that on many levels you deserve the hatred.

[Mal78]

My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM".

 

Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her.

 

This of course is breaking my daughters heart but all I can do is be there for her. I have not called her mom up to try to nail things down for sure. I am not sure I will do anything at this point as far as her mother is concerned.

 

This brings me to my next thought. I know this sounds mean but a part of me wants to go to the OM's work and laugh at him. I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family. Why should I not get a little joy in seeing him suffer.

 

I mean honestly I just cant stop laughing about it. Its like the best gift all year but I still have to be there for my kids.

 

Clay

 

Selfish doesn't begin to describe your ex. How does one rationalize their choices such as hers particularly concerning her children? I agree... Although ever child needs their Mother most certainly she doesn't deserve her children and hopefully distance will provide healing for your children. Stability is key... she is not stable.

 

My dd (14 yrs) bff's mother did the same thing. She chased another man across country and hasn't seen her children in 6 years!! Every year is yet another broken promise followed by disappointment. I advise that if she breaks one promise to your children that you be clear to her communication will stop unless she follows through. She needs to be held accountable for how she treats her children.

 

You are awesome!! Those kids are blessed to have you for a father.

[veryhappy]

I think you need to step down from your moral high horse and tell this woman that she can find someone local and stay the h*** in the area.

 

 

Stability for your kids is having an involved mother. You can be the most amazing father, it can't make up for her abandonment. So work that determined brain of yours to keep her from moving. She's nuts, but your kids need her.

[lolablue17]

I think The old OM is hurt anyway, and your revenge is creating it self. Your interference is just going to reduce his pain because he will focus on your "HA HA" instead of focusing his pain.

 

The best way for you is doing nothing. But if you feel you must do something for you ego (which is very natural), i'd say you are not fighting the right enemies. The old OM is a dead story.

 

Go to the NEW OM and laid out her cheating history in front of him. Also tell him that she is abandoning her daughter, and the guilt will chase her where ever she goes, and this will bring her to break up with the new OM. So, most chances she will hurt him by cheating on him or by leaving him to make up with her daughter. But you as a parent can't stand on the side and see how you're heartless wife is breaking your daughter's heart.

 

No matter what will happen, That's how you shoot your missile at the heart of your real target. Even if the new OM will still continue his R with her, he will look at her differently. This will hurt her, and if you're really lucky - She will change herself to please him, meaning, being less bitch, and more loving mom (recovering thing with your daughter)

Edited December 20, 2014 by lolablue17

[road]

I think you need to step down from your moral high horse and tell this woman that she can find someone local and stay the h*** in the area.

 

 

Stability for your kids is having an involved mother. You can be the most amazing father, it can't make up for her abandonment. So work that determined brain of yours to keep her from moving. She's nuts, but your kids need her.

 

Sometimes children are better off when an unstable parent is out of the picture. Bad mental issues and morals does not make for a good role model.

[road]

I think The old OM is hurt anyway, and your revenge is creating it self. Your interference is just going to reduce his pain because he will focus on your "HA HA" instead of focusing his pain.

 

The best way for you is doing nothing. But if you feel you must do something for you ego (which is very natural), i'd say you are not fighting the right enemies. The old OM is a dead story.

 

Go to the NEW OM and laid out her cheating history in front of him. Also tell him that she is abandoning her daughter, and the guilt will chase her where ever she goes, and this will bring her to break up with the new OM. So, most chances she will hurt him by cheating on him or by leaving him to make up with her daughter. But you as a parent can't stand on the side and see how you're heartless wife is breaking your daughter's heart.

 

No matter what will happen, That's how you shoot your missile at the heart of your real target. Even if the new OM will still continue his R with her, he will look at her differently. This will hurt her, and if you're really lucky - She will change herself to please him, meaning, being less bitch, and more loving mom (recovering thing with your daughter)

 

 

 

Bad advice. He is divorced. Best for him to strive for NC with his XWW. Her personal relationships are of no concern to him.

[evanescentworld]

I have often find those who give poor "revenge" advice, still hold bitterness and resentment in their hearts and minds, for their own situations.

Only when one can liberate one's self from carrying all that baggage around, can one be truly balanced and objective in one's view....

Heavy schytt just holds "you" back.....

[Selfish]

If someone has something happen to them that they did themselves, of course there is a level of satisfaction in it. The thing is unless the OM gets introspective he'll never own his own hand in this. He'll just feel like he is the hapless victim.

 

I don't see this as karma. I see this as a consequence of a gamble he took. He took the gamble that xWW would be faithful to him and that it was Clay or at least the marriage that had failed. And once with him she would be faithful and wonderful.

 

He lost the bet because it wasn't clay or the past marriage. It was xWW. and so "if she cheats with you, she'll cheat on you." became true. Not karma. Just basic human nature. He married a duck and deluded himself into thinking she was a swan. But, no, she was a duck.

[lolablue17]

Bad advice. He is divorced. Best for him to strive for NC with his XWW. Her personal relationships are of no concern to him.

 

1. NC is not the ONLY ADVICE to ANY situation.

2. Not every GOOD advice can work for everybody. so sometimes insisting advising it makes it worthless.

 

I also think that contacting any of the OM's is not a good idea. But if he feels he must do it, he better do it for an effective reason and not just for fun.

Edited December 20, 2014 by lolablue17

[Mal78]

I think you need to step down from your moral high horse and tell this woman that she can find someone local and stay the h*** in the area.

 

 

Stability for your kids is having an involved mother. You can be the most amazing father, it can't make up for her abandonment. So work that determined brain of yours to keep her from moving. She's nuts, but your kids need her.

 

I do agree that stable is an involved Mother. How do you force this? What is the consequences if she still chooses the OM and moves? How would one *keep* someone from making a very poor choice when clearly she only selfishly thinks only of herself? He couldn't keep her from cheating on him, or with their family after the fact how on earth do you expect him to have leverage in this situation?

 

She certainly weighed out her options and she chose the OM. Her mind was made up enough to break the news to her daughter who was completely devistate yet, she will still carry out her plans.

[No Limit]

I still hear Nelson's "ha ha" in my mind when I see this thread title.

[Selfish]

I think you need to step down from your moral high horse and tell this woman that she can find someone local and stay the h*** in the area.

 

 

Stability for your kids is having an involved mother. You can be the most amazing father, it can't make up for her abandonment. So work that determined brain of yours to keep her from moving. She's nuts, but your kids need her.

 

Kids don't need a nuts mom who would cause more harm in their lives than out. They need a healthy mom that loves them. I don't believe cheating = forever bad parent. But this woman didn't fight to keep her kids. She showed she really couldn't be bothered with having them. She also plans to take off and abandon them for a new man. She has made her choices. Clay can't change her. If he could she would never have cheated on him multiple times.

[evanescentworld]

I still hear Nelson's "ha ha" in my mind when I see this thread title.

 

...and I have absolutely no idea what this means...

[Clay]

I think you need to step down from your moral high horse and tell this woman that she can find someone local and stay the h*** in the area.

 

 

Stability for your kids is having an involved mother. You can be the most amazing father, it can't make up for her abandonment. So work that determined brain of yours to keep her from moving. She's nuts, but your kids need her.

 

Let me make this really clear for you. She already abandoned my kids when we divorced. This is just been a long drawn out issue of torment for my kids. Maybe you should ask questions before you make any assumptions. The only thing I feel morally high about is the fact I am not a cheater. The feelings in my heart are for protecting my kids.

 

 

Another thing you did not even bother to ask. I already did tell her mother she should stay in town and that they need her. It resulted in her screaming at me on the phone and then her hanging up.

 

 

I have tried for years to get her to be more involved with the kids. I do think now after all those years of trying to get her to see what she was missing out on was a waste. Some people are just not worth the effort. She will never really know what she has lost out on and that is her loss now. I hope she leaves. My kids deserve better.

 

 

Clay

[Mal78]

My xW and I divorce on January 21 2007. I had spend ten years with her cheating on me and the last time I caught her was 8 days before Christmas. Once it was clear to me she was cheating I threw her out. She immediately moved in with her friend "OM".

 

Last night she txt'd me and asked if she could talk to my daughter. (I have custody of our two kids). I said sure. I took her over to her mothers house. She told my daughter that her and the OM are over with and she is moving to a different state with the New OM. It turns out she has been cheating on the OM for quite some time and I am not sure what happened but I can only imagine he caught her.

 

This of course is breaking my daughters heart but all I can do is be there for her. I have not called her mom up to try to nail things down for sure. I am not sure I will do anything at this point as far as her mother is concerned.

 

This brings me to my next thought. I know this sounds mean but a part of me wants to go to the OM's work and laugh at him. I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family. Why should I not get a little joy in seeing him suffer.

 

I mean honestly I just cant stop laughing about it. Its like the best gift all year but I still have to be there for my kids.

 

Clay

 

You don't want to laugh at this OM you want your validation to have an audience from someone who has gone through similar circumstances with the same person. I think it is very normal. Although you clearly know that *she* is/was the one with the issues you also want him to know, you know that *she* is and always has been the issue not you. In a way protecting your pride.

 

You've remarried, you have your children and I gather all and all you are happy with your life. I can even bet you are (now) satisfied on how things turned you for you. You just want to run into this OM and say, "Dude, she screwed you over too? I would have never predicted that" (of course in VERY sarcastic undertones).

[No Limit]

...and I have absolutely no idea what this means...

 

That was a reference to the Simpsons series in which a character called Nelson regularly ha ha's at people who had something bad happen to them.

[evanescentworld]

(Oh. OK. Sorry. We don't have a TV..... )

[Clay]

Well My daughter just found out this morning that her mother left and never even said good bye. My daughter called her to see when they would be leaving. She wanted to get the her half siblings gifts before they left. Her mom informed her the new BF said they had to leave in a rush because his tags had expired. My daughter is crushed. I feel so horrible for her. She hung up from her mother and came and talked to me. She went back up and called her mom back and over heard the guy her mom is with now screaming that my daughter needs to quit calling and crying. She also could hear him screaming at the babies. Her mom was crying too.

 

 

My daughter is finally calmed back down. I just told her to give her mom few days to get things settled. I am not sure what pushed them to leave so fast without saying goodbye but I can only guess there was a fight with the new OM and the old one. The new one sure sounds like a real winner.

 

 

I would like to say her mom gets what she deserves but I can help but feel really sad for her other kids and mine.

 

 

Clay

[bigman1]

Man that sucks for your daughter. I don't know how you plan on handling the predictable heartache that your wife will inflict on her.

 

In the case of my family member, I told her daughter "you have to understand that your mom's failures have nothing to do with you, but will always somehow affect you. Hating her will do you no good and depending on her will always leave you disappointed." That niece told me that she learned to just accept her mom. After several disappointments and self esteem issues she finally came to her happy medium which was just to say, "that's my mom." She never waited for her mom to show up for anything and if she did, usually late, she just hugged her and enjoyed everyone else that came. I don't know how you deal with it, but good luck to you and to your daughter.

[BeholdtheMan]

I know that sounds horrible but he had no problem sticking his nose in my marriage and helping to destroy my family.

 

Let's be clear about this...

 

Your wife bears principal responsibility for destroying your marriage. OM was just some guy who owed you zero loyalty who tapped some easy ass

 

In fact, I'd argue that the affair simply revealed the poor state of your marriage (if you're wife is down to have sex with other men, you don't have much of a marriage)

 

I will never understand betrayed spouses who direct their anger at affair partners. They're not the ones who shat all over their vows of loyalty

[No Limit]

In fact, I'd argue that the affair simply revealed the poor state of your ex wife

 

Fixed that for you. Because when someone cheats and then drops an okay-guy she originally cheated with for a bastard like the guy described above something isn't right in her head.

Edited December 23, 2014 by No Limit

[Clay]

Let's be clear about this...

 

Your wife bears principal responsibility for destroying your marriage. OM was just some guy who owed you zero loyalty who tapped some easy ass

 

In fact, I'd argue that the affair simply revealed the poor state of your marriage (if you're wife is down to have sex with other men, you don't have much of a marriage)

 

I will never understand betrayed spouses who direct their anger at affair partners. They're not the ones who shat all over their vows of loyalty

 

 

In case you missed something. I held her responsible. Hence we are divorced now. She did not receive any money from the marriage. She did not get part of the home we both owned. She did not leave with a vehicle. She did not get the kids in the divorce. So I think she was held responsible.

 

 

The OM#1 knew she was married and that she had children. He got what he deserved in the end. He does not have his children and he got to experience the same pain I did.

 

 

Gotta love it when people say well they owed you nothing. That's a nice way of saying they are a complete looser. I raise my kids to be decent and have morals. Its clear to me after being on this site for a while there are quite a few posters here that do not have morals.

 

 

Clay