elaine567 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 The fact is that a woman who is known to sleep around is going to be of no value to a man who feels he can shop around or who has some sort of issue with women who have had multiple partners. Of course if she is stunning and has value as a trophy wife, or is wealthy, he may forgive her past. The OP seems to be missing the point that a man who is a player and sleeps around is also of no value to women who can shop around or to women who have issues with men who sleep around. Women with self esteem do not tend to want to feel they are part of a harem. Of course if the man has value as in loads of money or is exceptionally good looking, she may forgive his past. Everyone wants to feel somewhat special to the person they decide to commit to, no-one wants to be just another object on the conveyor belt. Sleeping with lots of partners is fine if a person is young, but some cannot turn that perpetual searching for new sexual conquests off and those will find it difficult to find and maintain long standing relationships. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 There is nothing wrong with women giving their body away like candy. Just be consistent. Don't jack up the price later when you are not offering anything extra along with the higher price. But they are offering something better: a relationship along with the sex. Men who are in a position to choose do exactly the same. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 The fact is that a woman who is known to sleep around is going to be of no value to a man who feels he can shop around or who has some sort of issue with women who have had multiple partners. Of course if she is stunning and has value as a trophy wife, or is wealthy, he may forgive her past. The OP seems to be missing the point that a man who is a player and sleeps around is also of no value to women who can shop around or to women who have issues with men who sleep around. Women with self esteem do not tend to want to feel they are part of a harem. Of course if the man has value as in loads of money or is exceptionally good looking, she may forgive his past. Everyone wants to feel somewhat special to the person they decide to commit to, no-one wants to be just another object on the conveyor belt. Sleeping with lots of partners is fine if a person is young, but some cannot turn that perpetual searching for new sexual conquests off and those will find it difficult to find and maintain long standing relationships. Why exactly is it fine when most guys don't want to be with the woman with that sort of past? Why do you think women tend to lie about their sex partner # if it's brought up. If you want to be desirable to the majority of guys, than don't go around town banging multiple guys. And a guy won't feel desirable at all to her if she wants to wait a long time before sex with you, but everyone else got it right away. Women like that basically perceives those guys where she had sex with right away as the alpha males, while she's trying to get with the beta provider as she's older. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 So these negative women I describe.. you are ok with them? I'm the problem? We don't seem to have this attitude about con artists and purse snatchers. Can't we just say: "Oh.. just stay away from those bad people". Never mind holding any of them accountable. It is YOUR fault for interacting with bad people.. but its not the bad people's fault for being bad. Funny. I'm not sure I accept that you're describing "negative women" so much as "women who do something you don't like". They're hardly universally despised like purse snatchers. I don't see a problem with a woman (or a man, for that matter, although that wasn't your point) being picky or having high standards or that the degree of pickiness or the level of the standards rises with time/age. Sometimes I see that as a sign of being more mature (in a positive way). If one of these women wants to make me "work for" her body (or for any other aspect of a relationship with her, although that wasn't your point) then I can weigh up the pros and cons of this and decide whether I want to do this or not. I have some standards of my own... some metaphorical hoops through which a woman will have to jump if she wants anything I have to offer... and I'm pretty sure I've refined those over the years too. It's not that I have some perverse need to make a woman "work for" it, I just want the right woman now that I have a better idea of what qualities she might have. I hope and suspect that some of these women have a similar aim. You also talked about long-term relationships becoming less affectionate and less sexual over time. Yes, that does happen to some of them, but it takes two to tango. Other than asserting it, I don't think you've really made a link to this being a fault of the women in those relationships. I'm not even saying that you're the one with the problem... you seem to have come out with that all by yourself! I'm really just saying that perhaps the women you're describing negatively aren't the ones for you. Obviously the women in less loving relationships aren't for you (they're already in those relationships), and the ones who set the bar higher than you're prepared to jump aren't for you. So all I really get from your post is that there are some women who have relationship styles and dating requirements that you don't like... but you do make it clear in your first post that this isn't all women. My advice, therefore, is to try and date the other women! I hope that clears up the confusion. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 But they are offering something better: a relationship along with the sex. Men who are in a position to choose do exactly the same. I was getting to this point as well. She's not going to "hand it out" anymore if she's now looking for someone long-term and compatible. Basically, the higher price comes in for the smarter guy if you think about it: he buys in for the long-term with a partner that clearly likes sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 If a chocolate bar costs 1 dollar today and 10 dollars tomorrow.. what is the person paying 10 dollars getting extra? Then... don't pay 10 dollars. Maybe there are still some 1 dollar chocolate bars available and you can have 10 of them, or maybe not. Either way, nobody is forcing you to eat chocolate! 7 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I'm not even saying that you're the one with the problem... you seem to have come out with that all by yourself! I'm really just saying that perhaps the women you're describing negatively aren't the ones for you. Obviously the women in less loving relationships aren't for you (they're already in those relationships), and the ones who set the bar higher than you're prepared to jump aren't for you. So all I really get from your post is that there are some women who have relationship styles and dating requirements that you don't like... but you do make it clear in your first post that this isn't all women. My advice, therefore, is to try and date the other women! I hope that clears up the confusion. This ^^^^ a far from silly answer. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Why exactly is it fine when most guys don't want to be with the woman with that sort of past? Why do you think women tend to lie about their sex partner # if it's brought up. If you want to be desirable to the majority of guys, than don't go around town banging multiple guys. And a guy won't feel desirable at all to her if she wants to wait a long time before sex with you, but everyone else got it right away. Women like that basically perceives those guys where she had sex with right away as the alpha males, while she's trying to get with the beta provider as she's older. I have known women who were sexually promiscuous make great marriages to highly desirable men and I have also known women who have had 0, 1, 2 sexual partners be left with no partner whatsoever. I find all this slagging off of women's sexuality here, a bit 1950's or even Victorian in places, and non-reflective of modern society and modern women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I have known women who were sexually promiscuous make great marriages to highly desirable men and I have also known women who have had 0, 1, 2 sexual partners be left with no partner whatsoever. I find all this slagging off of women's sexuality here, a bit 1950's or even Victorian in places, and non-reflective of modern society and modern women. Well, that's just a few people. There was a thread on here where the vast majority of men would say they would be bothered by it & wouldn't want to be with the woman with a high sex partner count. And other forums I go on, the vast majority said the same thing. I'm sure there's definitely some guys who overlook it if the woman has something about them like amazing looks or a great personality. But I still believe the vast majority are turned off by it. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Well, that's just a few people. There was a thread on here where the vast majority of men would say they would be bothered by it & wouldn't want to be with the woman with a high sex partner count. And other forums I go on, the vast majority said the same thing. I'm sure there's definitely some guys who overlook it if the woman has something about them like amazing looks or a great personality. But I still believe the vast majority are turned off by it. I am sure a sample size of guys on forums is the perfect way to wee what people are ACTUALLY doing. Just like no fat person has had a date since 1979. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
nofeelings22 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 You're missing the point. A woman who sleeps around lowers her value in the eyes of men. So once that value us lowered it can never be reversed. If she then decides to only give herself to people who "deserve it" she is over pricing herself. If the entire city had a ride.. why should some new guy have to "earn" the same thing? Makes no sense. And again.. its different for men because men generally have to "earn" sex while women just have to be willing. Everyone knows this. But why would she even tell the truth about her past? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I am sure a sample size of guys on forums is the perfect way to wee what people are ACTUALLY doing. Just like no fat person has had a date since 1979. My God! Are you saying fat people actually date... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mister Zen Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 But why would she even tell the truth about her past? Because she is an "honest" good hearted woman. You know.. like all the women on this site claim most women to be. :laugh: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nofeelings22 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Well, that's just a few people. There was a thread on here where the vast majority of men would say they would be bothered by it & wouldn't want to be with the woman with a high sex partner count. And other forums I go on, the vast majority said the same thing. I'm sure there's definitely some guys who overlook it if the woman has something about them like amazing looks or a great personality. But I still believe the vast majority are turned off by it. I prefer relationships with women who know what they are doing and aren't all awkward and scared of every little thing. Give me the ho any day! :lmao: I mean who wants some boring chick who has no sexual experience? I guess the answer is most guys do. Good! More pornstars for me! lol Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I am sure a sample size of guys on forums is the perfect way to wee what people are ACTUALLY doing. Just like no fat person has had a date since 1979. Yeah, and on the flip side of that she was saying that she knows some woman who had a lot of sex in the past who have great marriages. Does that mean it's the majority of women in that situation? Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Because she is an "honest" good hearted woman. You know.. like all the women on this site claim most women to be. :laugh: For once in a thread I'm actually agreeing with you for the most part lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 I prefer relationships with women who know what they are doing and aren't all awkward and scared of every little thing. Give me the ho any day! :lmao: I mean who wants some boring chick who has no sexual experience? I guess the answer is most guys do. Good! More pornstars for me! lol As someone who hasn't had that much experience, I don't think there's a reason to put either one down. I wish, in a way, that I had been more promiscuous - I would have had more fun, and filtered out the men whose heads seem ready to explode at the idea of a woman having had any fun. Going by the way I felt when I was younger, I'm surprised that I haven't been more "active," to put it one way. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Maleficent Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 As someone who hasn't had that much experience, I don't think there's a reason to put either one down. This is the smartest sentence in this entire thread. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mister Zen Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 Then... don't pay 10 dollars. Maybe there are still some 1 dollar chocolate bars available and you can have 10 of them, or maybe not. Either way, nobody is forcing you to eat chocolate! How about taking issue with the person charging 10 dollars? Why do you support a 10 dollar candy bar? I love how we blame the person NOT doing the wrong thing here. A lot of women on this site complain about men doing xyz behavior. So maybe instead of blaming those men.. we should attack the women for dealing with those men at all. How about the people complaining about ME? Maybe its their fault for posting on my threads.. not my fault for making them. Here is the thing though.. no one will ever meet anyone who behaves 100% to their preference. This is why we have these discussions. Its not so simple to say: "Just don't deal with those people". You know this. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Because she is an "honest" good hearted woman. You know.. like all the women on this site claim most women to be. :laugh: I don't judge men by your behaviour. Why do you hate women so much? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 How about taking issue with the person charging 10 dollars? Why do you support a 10 dollar candy bar? I love how we blame the person NOT doing the wrong thing here. A woman having sex with a willing partner, is not doing anything wrong. Why insult the $10 candy bar? Because it didn't spend its entire shelf life (I do love that magical, romantic term), waiting for you - just you - to unwrap it, and enjoy it? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 Yeah, and on the flip side of that she was saying that she knows some woman who had a lot of sex in the past who have great marriages. Does that mean it's the majority of women in that situation? My point is: Forum opinions one way or the other maybe correlate 5% with actual practice. It doesn't necessarily mean that everyone is intentionally lying. Just like everyone thinks they're "above average" in driving, parenting and intelligence. Just like I was "really put off" by a 60+ partner count......until I married the guy. Yeah it was a turnoff. I still married him (9 years now. jeez) But luckily I am above average in intelligence, parenting and I am an awesome driver. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NJ123 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 My point is: Forum opinions one way or the other maybe correlate 5% with actual practice. It doesn't necessarily mean that everyone is intentionally lying. Just like everyone thinks they're "above average" in driving, parenting and intelligence. Just like I was "really put off" by a 60+ partner count......until I married the guy. Yeah it was a turnoff. I still married him (9 years now. jeez) But luckily I am above average in intelligence, parenting and I am an awesome driver. But you're a woman going by a guy's sexual past. There's definitely some sort of double standard that exists whether it's right or wrong where a lot of men do not want to be with the woman that's been around the block. Maybe it's not the vast majority of men, but it's definitely a lot of men. And like I said, why do you think that it is that women tend to lie about their past, it's because their ashamed of it & don't want to be perceived as a slut. If there was no problem for having a lot of sex, than they should just be honest. But it usually doesn't work that way due to the double standard. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 How about taking issue with the person charging 10 dollars? Why do you support a 10 dollar candy bar? I love how we blame the person NOT doing the wrong thing here. A lot of women on this site complain about men doing xyz behavior. So maybe instead of blaming those men.. we should attack the women for dealing with those men at all. How about the people complaining about ME? Maybe its their fault for posting on my threads.. not my fault for making them. Here is the thing though.. no one will ever meet anyone who behaves 100% to their preference. This is why we have these discussions. Its not so simple to say: "Just don't deal with those people". You know this. You would go into a store and be outraged if you saw two seemingky identical candy bars and one was charging $10? You wouldn't just pass it by or maybe inquire as to why one is priced so differently? You'd actually get indignant? Write a letter to the chocolate bar company? LOL I am a chocolate-eating fat person and that's crazy. By the way, the answer would be because the $10 is for chocolate for a year (or life or whatever) and the $1 chocolate is just a regular one-time chocolate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nofeelings22 Posted December 13, 2014 Share Posted December 13, 2014 As someone who hasn't had that much experience, I don't think there's a reason to put either one down. I wish, in a way, that I had been more promiscuous - I would have had more fun, and filtered out the men whose heads seem ready to explode at the idea of a woman having had any fun. Going by the way I felt when I was younger, I'm surprised that I haven't been more "active," to put it one way. I didn't put anyone down, I elevated the town bicycles as I believe they were called here. I can have any preference I want and verbalize it here, thanks. I'd be upset if you weren't so damn cute!!! (the rabbit) lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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