Do Wayward Wives always do new sexual things?

[Discjockey80]

Dichotomy-

 

 

That right there...I would argue then as a man, its better to have your wife become your 'girlfriend' again than to ever become a wife and mom. I realize this isn't all women but to those 'some' who do have this issue, I would never want to be their husband.

[2.50 a gallon]

My Ex was about 10 years younger than me, and total fold out material, extremely sexy. When I balked at us getting together because of the age gap, she used her sexuality to get us together. For the two and half years prior to our marriage, there was nothing she would not do. It was any where, any time, any way. All of that came to an end shortly after our honeymoon. As she put, "I am your wife, not your slut"

When I caught her cheating, I kicked her to the curb and walked away. For the first month after our separation, I was at the bottom of a black hole of nothingness, there was no hope, there was no joy. I actually wondered whether some day in the future I might once again be able to laugh.

Then one day, I looked up to see a pretty face looking down at me and wanting to know if I wanted to come out and play. And once again, I found my manhood and was out of my pit and flying with the eagles.

The problem was the gal was married, and over the next half year I had sexual relations with about a half dozen married women.

In each and every case, they did things sexually with me that they had refused to do with their husbands. And it was not me suggesting they experiment, rather in most cases it was somethings they had always wanted to try, but like my Ex, were afraid to do with their husbands. Their thinking was inline with that of my Ex and that they were his wife and not his slut.

So, yes from what I have observed it is quite common for a married woman to experiment with sex with her OM

[jm2013]

My Ex was about 10 years younger than me, and total fold out material, extremely sexy. When I balked at us getting together because of the age gap, she used her sexuality to get us together. For the two and half years prior to our marriage, there was nothing she would not do. It was any where, any time, any way. All of that came to an end shortly after our honeymoon. As she put, "I am your wife, not your slut"

When I caught her cheating, I kicked her to the curb and walked away. For the first month after our separation, I was at the bottom of a black hole of nothingness, there was no hope, there was no joy. I actually wondered whether some day in the future I might once again be able to laugh.

Then one day, I looked up to see a pretty face looking down at me and wanting to know if I wanted to come out and play. And once again, I found my manhood and was out of my pit and flying with the eagles.

The problem was the gal was married, and over the next half year I had sexual relations with about a half dozen married women.

In each and every case, they did things sexually with me that they had refused to do with their husbands. And it was not me suggesting they experiment, rather in most cases it was somethings they had always wanted to try, but like my Ex, were afraid to do with their husbands. Their thinking was inline with that of my Ex and that they were his wife and not his slut.

So, yes from what I have observed it is quite common for a married woman to experiment with sex with her OM

 

In your experience being with married women, where did you find these women? The bar, work, or the gym? I'm just curious as to where these women group to wait for their stallion. I know affairs run deep in the fitness community.

[SawtoothMars]

Obviously jm2013 you found out, but if your wife had had a short affair with someone who you would never find out about, what would be the purpose of her telling you about it?

Telling you, to ease her conscience perhaps, but so you could lie in agony every night for months if not years?

Blissful ignorance, may have meant your marriage continued strong and happy.

So while total honesty may seem correct, I feel sometimes it does more harm than good.

 

So your advice is to be a sociopathic liar?

 

I can imagine you as a doctor making the choice to not inform the patient he/she has cancer!

[whatcanitellyou]

I think there can be a female version of the madonna/wh0re syndrome, let's call it the husband/stud syndrome. Some women will view their husbands as a stable provider vs the exciting stud. She may deep down fear how her husband will view her if she acts like a s wh0re with him, or she may have trouble being vulnerable with the man she sleeps next to every night. It sucks and isn't her husband's fault. Just my thoughts as a woman. You have to treat her as your gf and she must treat you as get bf.

Edited November 14, 2014 by whatcanitellyou

[oldshirt]

 

Then one day, I looked up to see a pretty face looking down at me and wanting to know if I wanted to come out and play. And once again, I found my manhood and was out of my pit and flying with the eagles.

The problem was the gal was married, and over the next half year I had sexual relations with about a half dozen married women.

In each and every case, they did things sexually with me that they had refused to do with their husbands. And it was not me suggesting they experiment, rather in most cases it was somethings they had always wanted to try, but like my Ex, were afraid to do with their husbands. Their thinking was inline with that of my Ex and that they were his wife and not his slut.

So, yes from what I have observed it is quite common for a married woman to experiment with sex with her OM

 

I have to concur with this. My experiences in my youth with married women was quite similar.

 

In fact I was with one WW that would booty call me and tell me how horny she was and how bad she needed some action. She would come over and we'd have nasty porno sex that was basically anything goes. One time I came right out and asked why she'd call me when she was so horny instead of her H. She literally told me she didn't want him to know she was horny and didn't want him to think he could have sex with her when he wanted.

 

I was a single guy then and in that moment I learned some harsh ugly truths about the world and about marriage.

 

So yes it's true, married women will do things with other men that they won't do with their husbands. Sometimes it's even intentional as part of conscious plan.

[No Limit]

I remember a threading which a BS wrote how his wayward wife had oral sex with her AP, something he had always asked for and never received. Facepalmed when he still took her back.

[2.50 a gallon]

jm2013

 

 

All of this happened over 30 years ago. My Ex was the first woman to go to work in what was then an all male department. Being, young and extremely sexy, almost from day one I was faced with a small army of OM's, her male co-workers. most of whom were married, who actively worked at breaking us up. Another, associate OM was our neighbor, apart manager, and when I caught her kissing a guard from where she worked and kicked her out, the neighbor, threw a victory party, that weekend, while his wife was out of town, and invited the Ex, the OM and several of her fellow workers.

The first partner, was the neighbors wife, when she figured out something had happened in her absence. It was she who contacted me.

The next few were my co-workers, and then once I got my balls back, I went after some of wives of her co-workers.

What rattled my cage, was how easy it was to get married women to stray

[2.50 a gallon]

wcity

 

 

I worked as tradesman. When we married she accepted a career job with a large company, and we moved over a thousand miles away from our home town. In my trade, it is most common for a new worker to first work the night shift until an opening comes up in the day shift. And I was offered a couple of night jobs, that would have paid about a third more than what the Ex was making. However being, young, newly married and in a new city, the Ex was partly afraid, and partly did not want to be alone at nights, so to make her happy I took a day job, which paid a little more than half of what she was making. This was one of the levers, the co-worker OM's were able to use to drive a wedge between us.

[dichotomy]

My wife and I have bumped heads for years on affairs and sex and love and marriage. At a point a while ago, after she let slip a few things she used to do, and me getting very angry...she gave these for a short period of time. Kind of a "ok you know I did these 2-3 things - I do feel guilty a little - so here ya go". But these were kind of one off acts, that I have not seen again. But sometimes I take some comfort in the fact that at least I got it once or twice from her, but then other things that used to be normal and frequent for us at first - have gone mostly away as well.

 

Last year we spent 8 months in therapy with a marriage/sex therapist who tried to get her to open back up her "whore side" with me again. To make her understand she had a great husband and she should treat me better sexually. It had some minor limited success, at least one ting is back on the menu, but its been not significant improvements. I am pushing for us to get back to this female therapist, but I know she is also dealing with other issues now (age, poor physical shape, menopause not to far away) and this side of her may be gone with me. She is resisting going back because she knows this woman therapist is perplexed and frustrated with her sexual issues. Also my wife is getting resentful over all this. She wants it to go away.

 

I will get a lot of negative comments for this - but due to this idea in this thread (women do more with not their husbands) I have been thinking more and more that having a mistress or AP's or even escorts is not that bad an option (I know - I know how those choices usually end which is why I have not over the years).

Edited November 15, 2014 by dichotomy

[whatcanitellyou]

I have seen two main reasons

 

1) Some men really want to have kids be a dad, the whole family thing. I was (am still) one. Despite old stereotypes I know many men who love being dads and the whole domestic family life. However with men - our sexuality is not hampered by dad roles - men don't have the sexual roles issue women smuggle with.

 

2) Old age and or loneliness - sex becomes less the issue. I have an older buddy, who went though a bad divorce with teenage kids. He swore off marriage, and spent a lot years (two decades) banging women. He was very clear to all these women he would never marry again and just wanted fun. Kind of a self womanizer but an honest one. He would share the stories with me and I was envious. Did not stop the gals from thinking they could change him. Anyway the years past and he developed some medical issues, got a little frailer, with some difficulties getting around. Guess what - he know is thinking "sex is not all that important, I would like a committed companion for my last 15 years of life"....however its not as easy now for him to find gals. He also found out he has cancer now - and drives himself for treatments and comes home to an empty home.

 

Absolutely. So because of the sins of his ex he took a victim attitude and used women as it suited him, and now that it doesn't he'd like one to take care of him. Except what's in it for a potential partner? That would be like a woman using any man she can for his money and when she gets older and loses her looks and gets sick she looks for one to settle with. What's in it for a guy at that point? He's reaping the rewards of years of selfish behavior.

 

My husband could've taken the same attitude and jerked me around, though I would've dumped him if he had. He's also almost 20 years older but in very good shape and health. He didn't though, he married me while he still had good years and lots to give, and guess what? He just lost his job and I'm here with my salary (which is actually more then he was making) and when he gets older and needs help I'll be here with him. But there's no way in hell I'd have signed up to immediately be someone's nursemaid. It's like social security: you have to contribute when you're younger and healthy if you want it when you're older; you can't opt out of paying and then want in when you need it. The world doesn't work like that.

[2.50 a gallon]

My Ex and I had partied with both her co-workers and my co-workers. My Ex was rather brassy, and at one of the parties, had let it slip that I was pretty good in the sack, and more importantly liked performing oral sex. Two of my co-workers never forgot. I am a skinny guy, and when the infidelity diet hit me, I lost at lot of weight. My female co-workers took pity on me and began bringing in extra food to share with me during our lunch hour. From which a friendship developed. With them eventually asking me why do men or my husband do this or that. One had been married over 10 years, and never had another partner, and the other around 8 years and only one other partner. Then one day one of them asked me if I liked going south of the border. As it turned out, both had never experienced that, their husbands refused, and they wanted to try it at least once in their life. Early in their sex life with their H's, they had given him minor BJ's. But that stopped when he refused to do the same for her.

Once we got started, they wanted to learn how to deep throat which was fine with me. They wanted to have sex in a car, one wanted to try sex with two men. Not my thing, but I hooked her up with a guy who was more than willing. Both wanted to watch porn with me, another thing they refused to do.

[dichotomy]

Absolutely. So because of the sins of his ex he took a victim attitude and used women as it suited him, and now that it doesn't he'd like one to take care of him. Except what's in it for a potential partner? That would be like a woman using any man she can for his money and when she gets older and loses her looks and gets sick she looks for one to settle with. What's in it for a guy at that point? He's reaping the rewards of years of selfish behavior.

 

My husband could've taken the same attitude and jerked me around, though I would've dumped him if he had. He's also almost 20 years older but in very good shape and health. He didn't though, he married me while he still had good years and lots to give, and guess what? He just lost his job and I'm here with my salary (which is actually more then he was making) and when he gets older and needs help I'll be here with him. But there's no way in hell I'd have signed up to immediately be someone's nursemaid. It's like social security: you have to contribute when you're younger and healthy if you want it when you're older; you can't opt out of paying and then want in when you need it. The world doesn't work like that.

 

Pretty much agree with your sentiment. This old friend of mine is paying for this, plenty of those gals he just had as f buddies wanted more, even marriage. But he never lied from the beginning - he is as honest as it comes. So those women made a choice thinking he would change his mind. But his picking are slim now.

 

I will say that once are up their in age - late 60's or even 70's - the picking get slim and finding someone without some health issue or minor disabilities becomes trickier. Many widowers marry other widowers with disabilities. Loneliness at that age is very hard.

[badkarma2013]

THE BEST ANSWER GIVEN TO ME EVER......BY MANITCORE....ONE OF THE SMARTEST GUYS HERE!

 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by badkarma2013 View Post

There are a Few people i trust here and you are one !

 

Please answer as best you can as thiis the one chapter i Cannot close....many thanks

thanks for the vote of confidence.

 

the two main reasons have already been mentioned here but I will answer anyway.

 

- the one related to the WW, the Inner slvt (as machiavelli wrote) or Maddona-wh0re complex, where they Compartmentalize and act as a different person who is having the affair and do whatever the good wife and mom would not do and is not supposed to want to do (after all good women worth of having a family with are not supposed to have sex in the first date, have twisted seXual phantasies or be crazy in bed)

 

there is a user here on TAM (sorry I don't remeber his user name, I lost all the links I had in my old laptop, but he still posted the clousure of his case last year) whose wife actively looked for affairs in AM and as part of the encounters she put as conditon to swallow the OMs seed (act that she never did for her husband).

 

I personally think that this Maddona-wh0re complex bahaviour (and many users may disagree with me here) is something that is no exclusive of woman in affairs but is a human trait that persons show once that they destroy social norms, a kind of mentallity "as if they are already doing something wrong why not do it all the way is not as if it gonna get any worst" when you already crossed certain boundary (or destroyed certain social norm) there is nothing holding you regarding the boundary you crossed "affairs, corruption, theft," which for me explain how some WW go from 20 years of loyal wife to half docen of OMs in less than a year.

 

As example this coduct also appears in OMs, as broken erick's and almostrecovered's OM, they shared and performed they sexual phantasy of being penetrated by strapons with these users WWs but when they (the TAM users) informed the OMW's wives neither of them knew that their POS husbands had this kind of phantasy.

 

- the one related with the OM, competency, in this case is about of having the OM more interested in them than in other potencial of formal partners, meaning that if the OM is single they have to seem more appeling that the single ladies they can get without kids or bagage, and if the OM is married the WW have to give something to mantein the OM hooked in comparation of his wife and this many times implies the sexual acts that the OM's wives are not willing to perform.

 

there is a FWW in in love shack with the user name "compulsive dancer" she has been very honest about her situation, and she at one point opened a thread about this particular topic "why WW are prone to do sexual acts that they don't even like" (something like that) in her case was anal sex, in all her years of marriage she just had anal sex with her husband twice (saying that she did no enjoyed it) and in the 5 months she had the affair she had anal sex around 4 times, shile she never said it directly, reading the thread you could conclude that it was to please the OM, as she exlpained that many times she felt jelousy of her formal GF and wanted to be priority to the OM (even whe she never intended to leave her husband), unfortunatly she deleted that specific thread because it become a circus of insults and negative comments for the triggering topic that the thread touched, you can still see that this subject is metioned in many of her old posts but the main thread was deleted.

 

but badkarma, you have to understand that even with all this explanation and analysis, those acts she performed are not implication of your person in anyway, what I mean is that it does not reflect that the OM is superior to you or more man than you, is a reflection of the poor judgment of your WW, of all the cases I have read where the WWs pleased the OMs with this kind of acts I don't remember one in which the OM have actually tried to have a relationship with the WW after the DD all of them have throw them like garbage.

 

the only thing that I don't agree with other users here is that not just alpha types are the one who play this women for fool to have this kind of acts, wimpy crying needy POSOMS (as RDMU POSOM) or friending 101 POSOMS (as "findingmyway") also do it.

 

To be honest with you anyone can become a cheap player (as weighlifter have said it) with some basic strategies that you come to understand when you began to learn how the mechanics works, anyone can get a married woman doing this kind acts for him, the difference is that we are not POS that will end alone, divorced and despised by everyone around of us, because we use the knowladge to detect red flags, improve our realtionships and prevent any possible threat, not to mess with other people's lives.

[whatcanitellyou]

Pretty much agree with your sentiment. This old friend of mine is paying for this, plenty of those gals he just had as f buddies wanted more, even marriage. But he never lied from the beginning - he is as honest as it comes. So those women made a choice thinking he would change his mind. But his picking are slim now.

 

I will say that once are up their in age - late 60's or even 70's - the picking get slim and finding someone without some health issue or minor disabilities becomes trickier. Many widowers marry other widowers with disabilities. Loneliness at that age is very hard.

 

Yeah, women do have a nasty habit of not believing men when they tell them these things. I think it stems from their competitiveness with other women, like nobody else was woman enough to change his mind but she is. It's good that he was honest and if they didn't take his word that's on them.

 

And for sure widowers will marry other widowers, but that's mainly true for older women that have their own health issues. Remember that women tend to live a little longer and the older people get the more women tend to be more physically independent then men, so many healthy older women will avoid marriage because they know the guy really wants a nursemaid. The healthy ones will often try for younger women.

 

I think this comes down to him getting out of relationships exactly what he put in, and this is something more people should consider. I think men who take the attitude of "I'm never marrying again because my ex was a jerk" deprive themselves of what could be a wonderful relationship because they play the victim card. My ex hb was an arse among arses, but it never occurred to me that all other men were like him. I just tried to make a better choice; of course one should legally protect their assets but the attitude of "I'm never marrying again" is a little short sighted. IMHO, which along with a buck might get you a cup of coffee

Edited November 15, 2014 by whatcanitellyou

[HereNorThere]

There is a real psychological reason for this phenomenon and it's called mania. Most people think of mixed state bi polar disorder when refereeing to mania, but new love also mimics this sort of psychological state. New love produces a flood of crazy making neurotransmitters and makes people act differently that they normally would.

 

Look at a person with bi polar mania. Once they reach that pole, they are way more likely to engage in risky or novelty seeking behaviors that are outside of the realm of what they would normally do. Once they crash from the manic high, they plunge into a state of guilt. This is VERY similar to new love.

 

The truth is, if you know what sex acts your partner has done for someone while you are married to them, you're doing it wrong. Having any kind of relationship outside of marriage should be a deal breaker for you. If you stay, it just shows that your boundaries are as weak as the cheaters. There is absolutely no good reason to stay with someone who cheats on you, period.

[dichotomy]

. There is absolutely no good reason to stay with someone who cheats on you, period.

 

 

Not the exact subject of this thread, but this has been hotly debated in many other threads here.

 

For me and others it comes down to the situation and type of affair and comparing the alternatives and deciding what's best for you and your family.

 

but when you add in sexual complications - sexual deficiencies within a marriage on top of an affair it really creates issues for BH's with WW's.

 

If my marriage fails it will be due to the sexual issues touched on in this thread and not specifically the EA and other lies and issues..

Edited November 16, 2014 by dichotomy

[Popsicle]

Interestingly enough, I am a single woman, and I think it's my MM who acts this way with me and not his W, so it's not just WW's.

 

As a man, think about what might make a MM do this with his OW? Whatever you come up with probably also is the same reason why WW's do it.

[oldshirt]

Interestingly enough, I am a single woman, and I think it's my MM who acts this way with me and not his W, so it's not just WW's.

 

As a man, think about what might make a MM do this with his OW? Whatever you come up with probably also is the same reason why WW's do it.

 

not an apples to apples comparison. Your MM would be glad to do the nasty stuff with her, it's just that she's probably rolled her eyes and acted all indignant and rejected him too many times that he's just given up trying to do those things with her. It's not that he wouldn't want to.

 

 

The key difference is he wouldn't reject it if she were to want to do it. What people are talking about here are women that refuse to do things with their husbands but then do it freely and enthusiastically with their OM.

 

 

that's not taking place with you. He'd do it at the drop of the hat with his wife (maybe he even does and he is just telling you that they don't) it's not like he is refusing her and then doing that stuff with you.

[Popsicle]

not an apples to apples comparison. Your MM would be glad to do the nasty stuff with her, it's just that she's probably rolled her eyes and acted all indignant and rejected him too many times that he's just given up trying to do those things with her. It's not that he wouldn't want to.

 

 

The key difference is he wouldn't reject it if she were to want to do it. What people are talking about here are women that refuse to do things with their husbands but then do it freely and enthusiastically with their OM.

 

 

that's not taking place with you. He'd do it at the drop of the hat with his wife (maybe he even does and he is just telling you that they don't) it's not like he is refusing her and then doing that stuff with you.

 

Right back at you, babe. These WW might want their H's to be more "adventurous" in the bedroom too (perhaps even initiating it), but maybe they're not....

 

OM is.

Edited November 16, 2014 by Popsicle

[road]

Right back at you, babe. These WW might want their H's to be more "adventurous" in the bedroom too (perhaps even initiating it), but maybe they're not....

 

OM is.

 

I have yet to read where a WH did things with his OW and refuse to do them with his BW.

 

 

And right back at you, there are countless threads and posts about where the WW has from day one keep many acts off the table with their BH. Yet soon as the OM asked he got it, and not just once.

 

 

Then after the affair was over they still refused to give their BH what she did with the OM. Even after the WW told the BH that she did things with her OM that she had refused to do with her BH.

[Sassy Girl]

I am a WW who is doing more with her AP that her husband but not because I don't want to do then with my H...quite the opposite.

 

H has told me straight out that what turns me on turns him OFF. I have tried everything to bring the spark back into the bedroom and all of it was ignored or laughed at (and yes, the laughing STINGS)... Trust me when I say there is nothing freaky or wrong about the things I am suggesting.

 

I WANTED to do more... with my H, but he won't budge. I am attractive, fit and in my 30s. I'm a very sexual woman. My self esteem has taken a battering over this. I was literally at the end of my rope when I decided to enter my A.

[gettingstronger]

For us at least- our OW was willing to be quite degrading to herself sexually with my H- in therapy he said it was not so much a sexual turn on as an ego boost- for a woman to drive hours for a quickie and be turn around and sent home was quite the boost- the "whorish" aspect was quite the turn on for him for sure- as far as positions and acts- we are pretty adventurous as well, but with her he did not have to reciprocate or worry about both having an orgasm-she was there to please him fully and without question-

 

Does the idea of that still turn him on- probably- would I be willing to be to be that submissive-no-

[Sassy Girl]

Right back at you, babe. These WW might want their H's to be more "adventurous" in the bedroom too (perhaps even initiating it), but maybe they're not....

 

OM is.

 

SPot on in my case... I see men complaining about once a month missionary 'pity sex' all the time. Most men would agree that's not a healthy sex life or a great marriage.

[jbrent890]

I am a WW who is doing more with her AP that her husband but not because I don't want to do then with my H...quite the opposite.

 

H has told me straight out that what turns me on turns him OFF. I have tried everything to bring the spark back into the bedroom and all of it was ignored or laughed at (and yes, the laughing STINGS)... Trust me when I say there is nothing freaky or wrong about the things I am suggesting.

 

I WANTED to do more... with my H, but he won't budge. I am attractive, fit and in my 30s. I'm a very sexual woman. My self esteem has taken a battering over this. I was literally at the end of my rope when I decided to enter my A.

 

So why dnot you just leave your husband? I have to ask what your end game is here?