zoloft body snatched my girlfriend

[BC1980]

I read and shes on ssri's, there actually way more invasive and mind altering than benzo's.

 

Kind of comparing apples and oranges here. Benzos are addictive and highly sedating, though I've seen so many people build up a high tolerance for benzos. In my experience, most people are on one or the other, not both. In practice, benzos are mostly used for anxiety and often on an as needed basis, which sadly turns many into complete dependance on them.

[mr.blond]

You do realize this article is about one person's theory, for which no objective, scientific data was ever introduced. You realize this is published in a magazine and not a scientific journal. Look, I'm not saying the theory is wrong, but you can't take a magazine article as fact.

 

I'm much more concerned with how you are coping with all of this. Suppose the reason your ex broke up with you is the Zoloft. What do you propose to do about it?

 

ya i know. I found alot of similar stuff in peer reviewed psychological journals as well. And I know there is nothing I can do. And i know this is the worst way to cope. Its just so dam haunting. what are your thoughts on just emailing her a couple links to the journal articles?

[BC1980]

ya i know. I found alot of similar stuff in peer reviewed psychological journals as well. And I know there is nothing I can do. And i know this is the worst way to cope. Its just so dam haunting. what are your thoughts on just emailing her a couple links to the journal articles?

 

I would be pretty wary of emailing her any information. Most people would see it as you being meddling. It would be one thing if you were currently in a relationship with her, but I don't feel she would be very receptive at this time. Then again, it might help you to understand where she is coming from and possibly set you free. It might help you to move on. I'm usually so against doing something like this, but I know you are really hurting and hanging onto this. I'm not sure you will get any more answers or a clearer picture though. In fact, I would almost guarantee you won't find any more answers.

[Zapbasket]

ya im not comparing benzos with ssris at all. ssris change the chemicals that exists in the synapse of the neurons in the brain. All i was saying is that it extinguishes the ability to love. Scientific studies suggest this. Am I going crazy here?

 

You're not going crazy, but you're focusing on the wrong thing. You're trying to make a case that the meds caused her to break up with you, but her meds are nothing without her will. Meds or not, from the vantage point of her experience SHE made a DECISION, consciously, and propelled by her WILL, to end her relationship with you. The only person who can determine whether it's her, or the meds overriding her will, is HER. Telling her it's the meds leading her to make this decision is telling her she is crazy, and no one takes kindly to such an implication.

 

Look, it really, really sucks. But you HAVE to desist from this train of thought, even if you feel it to be the truth. If her meds are causing erratic behavior and rash decision-making, then such side-effect will manifest in other situations in her life, and she'll put the puzzle pieces together soon enough. If you want a concrete answer, then that's the way you'll have to get it: wait. Wait to see whether she comes back to you and says the meds caused her to lose her mind. I wouldn't recommend that you wait for that, but it's certainly understandable if that's the path you feel you must take to get the answers you need to move forward (hope does die so very, very hard; I get it).

[Allumere]

Nah, you aren't crazy but if you continue down this path you may drive right into it and need the same medications that you are viewing as the root cause of your current demise.

 

You could find a 1000 pages of literature on the side-affects of ADs without much effort, with a good bit of it being legitimate. And being the kind, concerned person you are, you could send that information to your ex. But see you can't do that without an agenda...you aren't worried about her you are worried about how she has made you feel. And you are desperate for a fix and are scrapping under every rock to find the answer...mainly one that takes that edge off and makes you fill better about the situation (translate that to "I knew it") but not necessarily the right one.

 

Most of us have been there...and we have done what you are doing. How many times do I want to kick myself for blaming things on my ex's BP or medications or job stress when in reality he simply was an unhappy person very early on but was too much of a coward to deal with things. Sure, there is much of the BP that I can point to in terms of how he handled things and I understand why, but at the core he is far from crazy and he left because he didn't want me...period. Not because of the BP, not because of any meds...he didn't want me.

 

As I said earlier, the fact that she stated she hadn't been happy in the relationship for the past year did not grow wings with the Zoloft. But as is often the case with dumpers, they do care for the people they are with and are attached, therefore making that final decision is very difficult. The medication took the anxiety away and probably did take the sharp points off of her emotions...that emotional roller coast many dumpers fell was now nothing more than a hill so it was time to move on.

 

Like most breakups huni, you will probably never have the answer you want or accept. It is wasted energy that you need to put back into yourself. You will survive.

[mr.blond]

ya. I know i need to get over it or it wont work with the gal im seeing now. From the studies and reasearch iv been doing it appears that ssri lower dopamine and block oxitocine, the chemicals in the brain that are triggered by love and attraction to your spouse. But i guess it doesnt matter either way at this point.

Edited November 11, 2014 by mr.blond
typo

[BC1980]

ya. I know i need to get over it or it wont work with the gal im seeing now. From the studiese and reasearch iv been doing it appears that ssri lower dopamine and block oxitocine, the chemicals in the brain that are triggered by love and attraction to your spouse. But i guess it doesnt matter either way at this point.

 

Depression can also affect your ability to feel emotions and love deeply. It can give you a general feeling of helplessness and lack of emotion. You really don't need to be seeing anyone right now because you haven't even grieved this breakup. Only one month out of a 6 year relationship is not the time to date unless you checked out way before it was over.

[mr.blond]

ya i know, but its really the only thing getting me through this nightmare.

[mr.blond]

maybe Im a little bit obsessed with this.

Check this out its from the TED talk confrence

 

Killing love by antidepressants to bring a desperate lover back to life. (Is extreme love a disease ?) | A conversation on TED.com

[mr.blond]

and.. ofcourse there is a riddle.

[IfiKnewThen]

i think u should send her the articles. its interesting anyway.

 

just add a little note saying im glad ur getting help. i just hope this hasnt affected ur feelings towards me.

 

thats it!

 

go for it.

[mr.blond]

just found out she already has a new boyfriend les than a month after break up of fiver year relationship.

[BC1980]

just found out she already has a new boyfriend les than a month after break up of fiver year relationship.

 

Ugh. I'm so sorry you found that out, but it explains a lot. I wouldn't be surprised if she met him while with you. I might be wrong, but one month? That's way too soon to be a coincidence.

[HereNorThere]

just found out she already has a new boyfriend les than a month after break up of fiver year relationship.

 

So that answers your question. Obviously SSRI's didn't block her ability to love. You were ditched for another guy, period. A five year relationship and she has a new boyfriend in a month. You sir, were obviously cheated on.

 

Doctors don't put you on 100mg a day of an SSRI like zoloft for mild social anxiety. She's not telling you the whole story.

[mr.blond]

holly shizzz. 1.5 months of the darkest hell. Today I woke up and I feel like my self again. Hang in there everyone and thanks for the support.

[nofeelings22]

Jesus... this is exactly, word for word, what happened to my ex wife.

 

12 years together. A few months of Zoloft and she woke upn a different person.

 

Loved everything she hated and hated everything she loved, including me.

 

Literally a 180 degree change overnight with no fights, no signs, no warnings.

 

It was like she died.

 

 

Was in a loving 6 year relationship with a girl I loved more than anything in the world. Everything was fine, she was devoted and loving and deeply emotional. She always claimed to have social axiety but I never noticed anything of the sort in her, Ithink everyone has some degree of social anxiety and that normal and nessesary. Anywas she gets it in her head that she wants to see a professional about it. After a 10 minut Dr. visit he puts her on a 100mg dose of zoloft. One month after she starts the meds she tells me without one ounce of emotion that she doesnt love me anymore and want out of the relationship. A week earlier she was asking me when we were gonna have a baby etc. Im not one to be caught off gaurd by anythin, but this is the greatest shock of my life. She was compleatly body snatched by zoloft. The girl I knew a week prior was deeply comited and devoted to me. This happed a little over a month ago and I still cant sleep, I am devistated. Iv been in several ltr's and nothing has ever felt like this. Its like she died. It still feels un real. Does any one have any experiance with something like this?

[nofeelings22]

Mr. Blonde.... "she went on zoloft a little over a month before before she left. she showed up and told me she didnt want to do it anymore. Im not a sucker but I didnt see this coming. It later came to light that she had blacked out drunk and she slept with someone else 3 days prior. She was out of town with her friend. So to reiterate, everything was fine and we had a good relationship, then she went on Zoloft for anxiety, it takes about a month for it to kick in witch it did while she was out of town she got drunk (she never liked to drink before the meds) slept with a stranger from whatever club. Then she came home a completely different emotionless person and broke up with me without compassion of an explanation after 6 years together. She has no remorse and didn't even want to be forgiven, talk about, try to work it out etc... I was very into this relationship and it seemed as though she was into it even more for the past 6 years. I cant help but feel as though the Zoloft seriously changed her personality and feelings for me. All of this went down right at the time the zoloft was supposed to have really kicked in. She is adamant that the pills have nothing to do with her wanting to breakup but i suspect she wouldn't even know. She just kept saying that she feels different about me now. That was her only explanation"

 

I cannot believe this thread!!!

 

Zoloft produced the exact same response in my ex wife!!

 

She was also identical to what the op describes in personality and in our relationship before the meds.

[nofeelings22]

just found out she already has a new boyfriend les than a month after break up of fiver year relationship.

 

 

And this!!

 

Mine did the same.

 

Moved in wth a new dude within a week.. . and her and I worked, lived and traveled together, so there were no other dudes until she cracked.

 

I'm starting to re think my whole ending to my marriage.

 

It never made an ounce of sense, especially the robot I woke up to that day who died her hair bright blue, drained out out joint account and vanished with a 30 second phone call, no explanation.

 

wow...

[HereNorThere]

We're getting into the question of which came first the chicken or the egg. Did Zoloft make her crazy or did her crazy behavior make her go on Zoloft?

 

The answer to this question doesn't really matter. Just accept that she's crazy and be thankful you're out of there. She someone else's liability now.

[lolablue17]

You are stuck because you don't burn any bridge. I advice you to do so.

 

To be creative, I would collect some figures, statistics, testimonies and research results about the influence of that med. Try to create a campaign paper against Zoloft. Personal testimonies about it will help.

 

Create a nice document about it, with tables and bullets...And send it to her, telling her that she ruined something she could have for life, and she didn't listen... So she lost any chance to be with you ever again, You don't want to remember her nor to see her face anymore for ever.

 

That's it. that's how you express your frustration without losing your dignity, and that's how you burn the bridge which i think you must do.

[mr.blond]

im so sorry to who ever else went through this and the countless more who will. So much worse than a standard break up, infinitly though. Its a death, but there newly whoreish body's are roming around. The perfect princess turns into a souless jizz demon. If you can make ir the first 2 months with your sanity youll make it. I think.

[mr.blond]

wonder what living nighare she wakes up in if and when they come off the zoloft. Unfortunatly if will be much too late.

[nofeelings22]

wonder what living nighare she wakes up in if and when they come off the zoloft. Unfortunatly if will be much too late.

 

 

True.

 

I think it's 10x worse for the person on the Zoloft. We have our sanity. They don't. They will come out of it one day and wonder how they got where they are.

 

And yes, it's exactly like death. The person I knew so well (never left each other's side for 12 years) was simply gone one day. Just gone, mentally. The girl I married died for all intents and purposes.

 

With mine, it was a 100% personality reversal.

 

Everything she hated, she now loved. Everything she loved, she now hated, including me.

 

But, I'm to blame too. I underestimated the power of mental illness. I knew going into it that she had a mental illness. Mine was in pretty rough shape her whole life. Zoloft was one in long string of various drugs tried over .the years .

 

It was like she just snapped from that stuff. Forever.

 

When she would get into an episode normally, her eyes would go crooked (part of her normal mental illness.. her brother has the same thing). So now, after Zoloft, I can see her various Facebook pics and the most haunting thing .is it's been 2 years of facebook pics and HER EYES HAVE BEEN CROOKED IN EVERY PICTURE.

 

She is GONE. Fried. Zoloft destroyed her mind.

Edited November 24, 2014 by nofeelings22

[DbleBetrayal]

Maybe not only look into zoloft, but also do a little research on social anxiety and how it can effect someone- and than look into what happens when a socially anxious person finds a new found social confidence (artificial in her case) due to medication. Some go mad with socialising and change there whole lives. They, artificially, become alot more thick skinned, some even go mad with power. One things for sure, their social circle suddenly opens up and changes rapidly due to the new found obsession and love with socializing. As if all the years they suppressed interacting suddenly explodes. It's all temporary if it was all brought on by drugs alone though. There will be a crash and burn phase, that can come a year later or sooner.

 

Yes. I believe if she had to take meds for Social Anxiety- that the ssri has made her over confident socially; thus this what happens- new view on socialising , new people, cheating, new people, new boyfriend- high on life. It opened up her world. A new found positive perspective on socialising- suddenly not bound by the Social anxiety shackles any longer. When she was with you, she was a beautiful shy woman, who probably felt restrained and boxed in, probably felt like she was missing out. You were her world, her safe haven. Than BOOM! SSRI suddenly makes her socially confident- and away she goes.

 

Maybe also look into what happens to a person who was once chronically socially anxious to suddenly someone whose shackles drop off. Social anxiety is chronic though, and medications all poop out eventually. So, she may be making the correct decisions for who she feels she is now- but her feelings could change. When she's more grounded in future, she may come to realise a few things, start to realise the types of people she allowed into her life and the ones she looked over when the high drops.

Edited November 24, 2014 by DbleBetrayal

[mr.blond]

well, i think social axiety as a condition is kind of illusory. Iv always been very social and outgoing but i feel anxious in certian intense or unfamiliar situations. Social anxiety is a nesseary mental que. I understand that some people are paralized from it. but she wasnt. Now to launch fearlessly into any social situation with out the past exeperiance and social acumen that blunt that anxiety in most of us just seems reckless.