zoloft body snatched my girlfriend

[BC1980]

really after five years? I dint know if can believe all that talk about future plans were BS. She was deeply emotional and we were best friends, I dont think she would just stroke me along. She wouldnt even let me kill spiders. She would catch them in jars even though she was terrified of them and release them i. the canyon.

 

It's not at all uncommon for a dumper to talk up the future, even a day before a breakup. I've seen that many times on this forum and experienced it myself. I was thinking along the lines of the previous poster. Maybe she gained some clarity or something from the Zoloft that made it easier to go through with her decision. I know that's not what you want to hear, but you can't ignore the fact that she said she has been unhappy for a year. From experience, I can tell you that people are good at appearing a certain way when it may not be entirely true.

[Allumere]

really after five years? I dint know if can believe all that talk about future plans were BS. She was deeply emotional and we were best friends, I dont think she would just stroke me along. She wouldnt even let me kill spiders. She would catch them in jars even though she was terrified of them and release them i. the canyon.

 

The time together is irrelevant. Spend enough time on these boards (or have enough failed relationships) and you learn that time has nothing to do with it! If that was the key, why do couples married for 25 years divorce?

 

I knew my ex husband since we were 4, started dating at 14, married at 28 and divorced before I was 40. I'd say in the time category I had much more in than the average person. And I understand more of this than you realize as my ex was bi-polar and was on (and mostly off) meds. If you keep reading you'll see stories where in the morning it was all about the "I love you" and by the afternoon it was a text of " I'm done" and the dumpee came home to them and their stuff gone. No note, conversation, reason...POOF! (my apologies to the person this did in fact happen to very recently, not trying to dig the knife in your heart...the crap factor of the situation stuck with me). More often than not, the dumpee will say they had zero clue. Sometimes, we can go back and say "yeah, they were pulling away. They weren't texting as often...you couldn't remember the last time you heard them say ILY...no plans beyond the next day had been discussed in awhile but sometime it is really like someone hit a light switch.

[mr.blond]

It's not at all uncommon for a dumper to talk up the future, even a day before a breakup. I've seen that many times on this forum and experienced it myself. I was thinking along the lines of the previous poster. Maybe she gained some clarity or something from the Zoloft that made it easier to go through with her decision. I know that's not what you want to hear, but you can't ignore the fact that she said she has been unhappy for a year. From experience, I can tell you that people are good at appearing a certain way when it may not be entirely true.

 

granted. But to ask my opion about baby names etc. Asking if id move to london etc. right before? and to drop this $&@& out of no where? Iv been i. alot of ltr and have known and been with a lot of woman. And I thiught I knew her better than anyone. If that was all some facade than I swear off woman. Thats a capasity for evil I cannot fathom.

[BC1980]

I think getting that type of medication from a GP is insane unless there is a prior history with connection to a shrink/therapist

 

It's actually quite common for a GP or even a gynecologist to prescribe anti depressants or anti anxiety meds. The main reason being that insurace almost never covers a psychiatric visit but would cover the other two office visits. Also, simply the sheer number of people needing medical access pushes a lot on the GPs. I'd actually wager that most people on anti depressants or anti anxiety meds were prescribed them by a GP. Most are capable and used to prescribing these meds. They'd probably only do a referral to a psychiatrist with something more serious like schizophrenia.

[BC1980]

granted. But to ask my opion about baby names etc. Asking if id move to london etc. right before? and to drop this $&@& out of no where? Iv been i. alot of ltr and have known and been with a lot of woman. And I thiught I knew her better than anyone. If that was all some facade than I swear off woman. Thats a capasity for evil I cannot fathom.

 

You see it a lot. My ex was texting me I love yous at work, but dumped me that night. The weekend before he was talking about where to go on our honeymoon.

[patriciasex]

hug her a lot. say baby pls lets fix this. dont be hasty. i love you. i will be here for you thru depression.

 

 

men this means really listening and loving. you dont have to fix everything but we need to purge our stresses. its how we feel better . its why woman talk. thats how we rid ourselves of stress.

 

i am NOT saying ur NOT doing this. i am saying ...do it. but be consistent or we feel like we are on a rollar coaster ride and cant trust you. when trust is broken all fails.

 

love, sensitivity....prayers. and she still may not stay with you. but you will be more attractive that way. she doesnt need macho man now. trust me on that much.

 

then after she TRUSTS YOU, talk about weening her off the pills. or get her to go ask about it to her dr. ...do NOT intimidate her. she doesnt need militant tough love. she need tender care

 

Wow. This is one of the scariest things I have ever read. This is triggering all sorts of anxiety for me about how women really see men.

 

Meds or no meds, male or female - no partner has the right or the privilege of abusing the other. Being inconsistent, breaking up, leaving, shouting, hitting, throwing things - whatever the manifestation of emotion - all of these things are abusive.

 

OP was abused by his partner and I find it shocking that the attention would turn to her. I get that she may be depressed and she needs help, but she did not come here for support - he did.

 

This feels so deeply sad to me. It makes me literally fear for my future and for the future of all American men. Is this what it has come to? A partner can do any old sort of thing for whatever reason and it is the victim that must try to "love her" and "understand".

 

Am I seeing something wrong here? Did I misinterpret?

 

Please, someone tell me I am wrong. I literally feel like crying right now at how sad and wrong and creepy this message is.

[Allumere]

It's actually quite common for a GP or even a gynecologist to prescribe anti depressants or anti anxiety meds. The main reason being that insurace almost never covers a psychiatric visit but would cover the other two office visits. Also, simply the sheer number of people needing medical access pushes a lot on the GPs. I'd actually wager that most people on anti depressants or anti anxiety meds were prescribed them by a GP. Most are capable and used to prescribing these meds. They'd probably only do a referral to a psychiatrist with something more serious like schizophrenia.

 

I know the reality....husband was bi-polar, best friend is bi-polar, another close friend with serious depression...it is still insane IMHO. I wouldn't go to a psychiatrist for chest pains...just saying. GPs do not have a handle on those types of medications...most meds in fact. More than once the pharmacist corrected a medication interaction mistake. Under my companies plan, I was eligible for 10 - 15 free sessions with a therapist/psych. (typical format is meet with therapist for several weeks then they present to psych and then meet with the psych and they make decision on meds and med maintenance is with them). After the free sessions it was a $20 co-pay.

[mr.blond]

5 years, i dont want to be bitter towards women forever but how can I ever trust anyone after this? Im afraid of the anger stage of this.

[mr.blond]

i feel like sending the sex tapes we made to her family and employer.

[Allumere]

i feel like sending the sex tapes we made to her family and employer.

 

Be angry not stupid. She made a decision. A really painful one for you. There is no need for retribution. I promise you that in this situation (and I am not all good about letting things go, I have an stupid vindictive evil streak) doing anything like that will come back to haunt you 1000 fold. Seriously, no stupid stuff.

 

This is really hard. If at all possible consider therapy...start working out til bloody exhausted. If you have some good friends, lean on them. This will take time. And as weird as it may sound, feel this crap. Don't try and bury it because that'll just end up cropping up in your next relationship..yes you will have another one at some point. It is normal to have trust issues when hurt, and some even do have PTSD like responses (although there is generally a lot more crap that happen...physical abuse, cheating, etc.)

[mr.blond]

lol. she did cheat on me. Right before the break up

[IfiKnewThen]

@patriciasex im sorry you find it sad creepy and some of the other words you used to descibe that a woman can actually feel like that when shes down and need a mans sensitivity. but please do yourself the profound favor of running (ok drive) to the store and purchase the great renowned for years and years best seller called "men are from mars and woman are from venus" by john grey and i promise you , you will have a light bulb moment, go off in your head....about how men and women

 

hear and receive a lot of messages differently. you might cry for a week. so buy a big box of tissues for yourself because its true!

 

i am NOT saying he isnt the "victim' here . hes clearly been injured and finding out she slept with someone has got to be such a mind blowing ...thought provoking..life altering perception moment. it taints the innocence and fundamental part of the relationship. when i wrote that i had no clue she went with anyone. i knew one thing. shes depressed and took zoloft from an md....who thinks zoloft is like a just add water instant fix. i thought they were living together . i must have gotten the posts i read mixed up for a sec there. i am under great stress from grieving myself.

 

but one thing i do know........im convinced. women respond to things a bit differently then men and IF>>>>>> IF he wanted to make a connection with her again and she was home with him...i thought that would def help her come along.

 

but seriously go out and buy that book. you WILL look at things differently if you open your mind to what this man is saying in the book. he is spot on. ask anyone who ever read it. its in like print in 100 languages second to the bible.

 

now no one is cut out of the same cloth. you cant heap all female behavior or mens. but there are fundamental differences, in what they generally respond or not to.

 

anyway this is about mrblond. youre right. she blindsided him. he deserves more than that. a dialog sooner. something. he needs to heal now. and go thru all the emotions and not get stuck in one. its a real tough time. God speed healing.

[IfiKnewThen]

sorry mrblond. ((hugs))

 

when ppl hurt us our virgin thinking as we knew it...

is shattered.

 

but she did sound depressed. it just sucks to the core she had no communication skills.

 

that screws so many of us up.

[mr.blond]

its been over a month and Im still messed up, im losing musle mass and still cant sleep. How long should I try to endure this before seeking help? Iv always been a confident guy but this has reduced me to nothing.

[IfiKnewThen]

she is wrong. clearly but if you want to dig deeper since she did finally tell you some truth. ask her what you could have done better, to have avoided all of this.

 

 

this is NOT your fault or doing. but if you want to know her perspective..and how her mind ticks if shes honest ask her to tell u that. she sounds immature tho and selfish.

 

im grieving and hurting so bad too it hurts to wake up. i dont even know how to get thru the day yet. im still in shock. i think we have to frist let it sink in they are different now and not who we loved or who loves us. i have no clue this time..even tho i have been thru this b4. because this time i was more vulenrable..and this time i ended it. and this time i wasnt honest to him or myself. im a mess now. im starting to hate myself. i wish i could vanish. im in panic mode atm

i will follow ur post from time to time. i pray for all who suffer like. this. this is the most horrible thing. im so crushed. my heart doesnt feel like its beating right. my head pounds so i feel like im gonna ..lose the lunch i dont even eat. yikes i better not post here. i want to be uplifting...and im not in the condition yet. im a mess.

[Strength in Healing]

Seek help for co-dependency. They can do cognitive behavioral therapy that you (and frankly, anyone) would benefit from. There's no time window for how long it takes to heal, but what I can tell you, is you'll start having bright days amongst these dark ones, and as time goes on, more bright days that last longer will come.

 

She cheated though? I must have missed that in this topic. What is the story with that?

[mr.blond]

she went on zoloft a little over a month before before she left. she showed up and told me she didnt want to do it anymore. Im not a sucker but I didnt see this coming. It later came to light that she had blacked out drunk and she slept with someone else 3 days prior. She was out of town with her friend. So to reiterate, everything was fine and we had a good relationship, then she went on Zoloft for anxiety, it takes about a month for it to kick in witch it did while she was out of town she got drunk (she never liked to drink before the meds) slept with a stranger from whatever club. Then she came home a completely different emotionless person and broke up with me without compassion of an explanation after 6 years together. She has no remorse and didn't even want to be forgiven, talk about, try to work it out etc... I was very into this relationship and it seemed as though she was into it even more for the past 6 years. I cant help but feel as though the Zoloft seriously changed her personality and feelings for me. All of this went down right at the time the zoloft was supposed to have really kicked in. She is adamant that the pills have nothing to do with her wanting to breakup but i suspect she wouldn't even know. She just kept saying that she feels different about me now. That was her only explanation

[Strength in Healing]

Ah I see, brother. 6 years is so long..

 

It's not zoloft's faul so much as she clearly is just an unstable, selfish dimwit. I personally vote you go ahead and send the sex tape to the family members. Jesus said an eye for an eye, after all. Who are we to disagree with Jesus.

 

 

She'll probably think twice in the future.

[loversquarrel]

ya, we never really argued about anything but music taste. Did your ex ever get off the meds? if she did, did she feel any kind of remorse for what happened?

 

i cant fathom how a girl that sensitive to her emotions could end a 6 year relationship and be completely fine and not even morn the relationship

 

Ok, so you're out of a 6 yr relationship for about a month and in that time you state you have dated and slept with a few girls....don't mean to judge here but what exactly have you mourned??? You certainly aren't showing her you mourn the loss of her by these actions. Just saying it seems to be a bit quick after 6 yrs. If someone really meant that much to you.

[loversquarrel]

Disregard, I jumped ahead before reading your last post. I don't blame you.

[mr.blond]

Ah I see, brother. 6 years is so long..

 

It's not zoloft's faul so much as she clearly is just an unstable, selfish dimwit. I personally vote you go ahead and send the sex tape to the family members. Jesus said an eye for an eye, after all. Who are we to disagree with Jesus.

 

 

She'll probably think twice in the future.

 

thank for the words man. the thing is she was t unstable. she was a rock of girl, i dare say the perfect girl man. Gorgeous, if you could see her you would weep, smart sensitive caring and was loyal to a fault before the meds. I wish I could get past the meds part as i think it would be easer to move on, but its like she was body snatched literally, we were so close and best friends etc. We banged almost everyday. I think this $&@ing broke me. There are a few girls that have been tying to get in my pants for a while so i went for it thinking it would distract me from the pain of all this, im not an emotional guy(at least i wasnt) but i cant stand banging anyone else, dude it almost makes me cry. And its like my personality is broken. # still cant sleep.

[Strength in Healing]

Yeah don't sleep with other girls. Took that avenue once, left me feeling more isolated and cold. Never quite recovered from that part.

 

 

You're on a journey, but you're walking in the right direction my friend. We all have gone through what you are. I was engaged and in a 4+ year relationship. It's in my post history. I felt what you are feeling. It gets better. Everyone told me that on this site and I didn't believe it, but alas, it did. It always does. It always will.

 

 

 

 

Though you say if I saw her I would weep. I have pretty high standards. Post her pic for fun, I will tell you if I wept.

[mr.blond]

Yeah don't sleep with other girls. Took that avenue once, left me feeling more isolated and cold. Never quite recovered from that part.

 

 

You're on a journey, but you're walking in the right direction my friend. We all have gone through what you are. I was engaged and in a 4+ year relationship. It's in my post history. I felt what you are feeling. It gets better. Everyone told me that on this site and I didn't believe it, but alas, it did. It always does. It always will.

 

 

 

 

Though you say if I saw her I would weep. I have pretty high standards. Post her pic for fun, I will tell you if I wept.

 

dont want to post it here. Id email to you if you want. I had high standards too. You would weep

[Strength in Healing]

Okay I'll take your challenge.

 

Click on my name and you will see under my biography how I can be contacted.

[todreaminblue]

Thanks for the post. Do you think she will return to her former self if she ever gets of the meds? I truly believe she never needed them, and that this is an irresponsible prescription on the Dr. part. Even if we never get back together (i dont think I would take her back even if I could after what this did to me) but i dont want her to lose herself to the Zoloft,

 

 

I know once when i just thought nah stuff this and took myself off anti depressants nearly killed me......i swung so low it was a real battle to come back.....i really do believe that my spirituality keeps me afloat when i swing really low.....i am low now......but im here.....

 

 

your ex needs a good doctor someone who understands her and maybe goes on an alternative route instead of zoloft.....changes in personality are supposed to be noted......i know that anti depressants should be slowly changed not nah stuff it not taking them like i did.....i think everytime i go on meds ....theres a change to who i am......and i dont like it....i do go back to who i believe is me......one of the things about anti depressants is they change sadness....and sadness is really necessary to know true happiness...stops tears of un happiness....but it also stops in some cases knowing when something you are doing is making you sad.........its a really hard call.......i guess when doctors look at putting someone on anti depressants its about life intervention or should be.....i honestly think talking about what is making you sad si a whole lot better and less physically addictive......and emotionally.....does anyone really want to be sad... no.....so anti depressants are a quick fix for prolonged sadness......they shouldnt be constantly needed......i cant say with your ex if she will change back or get worse or not need them anymore.....i can say ....that unless its a life intervention prolonged sadness or diagnosed clinical depression..... anti depressants should be used with more caution and understanding they are more than just happy pills when they become integral to you functioning every day...and the fact they change who you are, your brain chemistry which neurones fire and which dont.... its sort of gods domain isnt it....affecting a persons whole make up....what makes them them.....tricky......deb