Ladies: how often do you get asked out?

[CaliGypsy]

Hmm.

 

I can only think of 2 or 3 people Ive legitimately felt feelers from (what a weird sentence haha). For the most part I think people just throw around harmless little "friendly flirts" around here, that don't actually mean anything. Heck, even the straight guys harmlessly flirt with each other. It's a love forum!

 

You definitely get them around here!

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

I online date so I am asked out fairly often but that doesn't mean I go out often. If I didn't online date it would be a rarity.

[gaius]

So, in that vein, there is a vendor at my job that decided that when he sees me at work we hug. I'm thinking no, he's way younger .

 

I do think another guy I work with is interested due to some comments he's made . Or I'm imagining it. If I am, two of my female coworkers are imagining it as well as they both commented that they noticed it.

 

Phoe, there isn't always a clear cut answer to why some women are more approachable than others.(you are obviously very attractive, and really smart)I'm just going to guess for some women it's a vibe they send out?I'm really enjoying the different perspectives. I also recognized myself in a few of you women . I sometimes have a hard time with eye contact and men. (Men my own age )

If you feel like a guy isn't going to be interested because he's younger then it's entirely possible you send out much warmer and relaxed vibes to them. Since the situation seems a lot less threatening and pressure filled. But all that does is give the younger guys a lot more of an excuse and drive to get their hands on you everytime they see you.

 

As far as this forum and real life goes, there's always reasons people might not drive all the way to the endzone with their flirting but there's almost always some genuine emotion behind it. Once in a while you'll run across someone who does it to people they'd never actually date in a million years just to be manipulative or inclusive but those kind are in the small minority thank goodness.

[xxoo]

So, in that vein, there is a vendor at my job that decided that when he sees me at work we hug. I'm thinking no, he's way younger .

 

I do think another guy I work with is interested due to some comments he's made . Or I'm imagining it. If I am, two of my female coworkers are imagining it as well as they both commented that they noticed it.

 

Phoe, there isn't always a clear cut answer to why some women are more approachable than others.(you are obviously very attractive, and really smart)I'm just going to guess for some women it's a vibe they send out?I'm really enjoying the different perspectives. I also recognized myself in a few of you women . I sometimes have a hard time with eye contact and men. (Men my own age )

 

Oh, the young ones can be HUGE flirts. Even with me, and I'm married!

 

I think a lot of times, they just enjoy the attention and playfulness, and hope to get lucky.

[William]

Folks, I got to this late and apologize for that but this is a polling thread to tabulate votes amongst women regarding how often they get asked out. There are other threads available, for free, to ponder questions such as why, how, where, when and give and receive valuable advice on the machinations of dating. This isn't the thread for that. It's a ten day poll.

 

I was loathe to create such polls because men can vote in the polls as women, and vice versa, since the polls are opaque but figured why not give it a try. I may experiment with a transparent gender specific poll in the future as a comparison. We'll see. In the meantime, ladies can discuss how often they get asked out here and the guys can vote and discuss their version in this thread:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/496552-guys-how-often-do-you-get-asked-out

 

Thanks!

[SawtoothMars]

Folks, I got to this late and apologize for that but this is a polling thread to tabulate votes amongst women regarding how often they get asked out. There are other threads available, for free, to ponder questions such as why, how, where, when and give and receive valuable advice on the machinations of dating. This isn't the thread for that. It's a ten day poll.

I was loathe to create such polls because men can vote in the polls as women, and vice versa, since the polls are opaque but figured why not give it a try. I may experiment with a transparent gender specific poll in the future as a comparison. We'll see. In the meantime, ladies can discuss how often they get asked out here and the guys can vote and discuss their version in this thread:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/496552-guys-how-often-do-you-get-asked-out

Thanks!

 

I know I'm new... but I think it's great to do polls like this, even with limitations! Awesome job!

[Michelle ma Belle]

OLD aside, it would seem that whenever I'm in a relationship or at the very least, being courted heavily by someone I'm interested in already, men seem to come out of the bloody woodwork chasing me and asking me out in real life.

 

As for OLD, that's a totally different beast in my opinion. My experience was very much like shooting fish in a barrel. Lots and lots of prospects and interest but at the same time, the internet makes even the most socially awkward people brave and bold which is why I didn't (and still don't) put a whole lot of stock in those particular asks.

 

Overall, I think I'm very fortunate to be this age and still have men of all ages interested in me

[MissBee]

I get hit on, stared at, complimented and flirted with more than actually being asked to go on a date.

 

If I'm out and about I'd say I almost always get looks, smiles, maybe told I look nice/have a nice smile/am pretty/smell good or am flirted with by a man in some form, but most of these men do not proceed to ask me on a date or for my number.

 

The ones who do ask for my number, well that happens maybe once a month...depends on the month though. But on average I'd say actually being asked for my number or something more concrete other than looking and winking or complimenting me would be once a month or once to three times every couple of months.

Edited October 7, 2014 by MissBee

[CaliGuy]

Poll results here are completely different than men. So, from this, men we're "required" to always ask a woman for a date

[GemmaUK]

Poll results here are completely different than men. So, from this, men we're "required" to always ask a woman for a date

 

Having done more 'asking out a man' than 'being asked out by men' then yeah,I would quite like if a guy did actually ask me out.

I'm beginning to feel a bit more normal after the responses on here.

 

Thanks for posting it Phoe! )

 

I actually remembered the other time I was asked out.

It was a guy at work and I was about 25 at the time.

He was a lovely guy but I was in a relationship at the time.

 

So that's twice in my life for me and I'm 45.

 

 

 

I got a cat call on the way home tonight though, some guy shouted 'I LOVE YOOOUUUU!' out of his workmate's (I assume) van window at me as they drove past.

Last week I got a wolf a whistle from an elderly (er..) gentleman whizzing past me in is mobility scooter at 8.30am when I was on my way to work.

I wouldn't count either as being 'asked out'

[CaliGuy]

Having done more 'asking out a man' than 'being asked out by men' then yeah,I would quite like if a guy did actually ask me out.

I'm beginning to feel a bit more normal after the responses on here.

 

Thanks for posting it Phoe! )

 

I actually remembered the other time I was asked out.

It was a guy at work and I was about 25 at the time.

He was a lovely guy but I was in a relationship at the time.

 

So that's twice in my life for me and I'm 45.

 

 

 

I got a cat call on the way home tonight though, some guy shouted 'I LOVE YOOOUUUU!' out of his workmate's (I assume) van window at me as they drove past.

Last week I got a wolf a whistle from an elderly (er..) gentleman whizzing past me in is mobility scooter at 8.30am when I was on my way to work.

I wouldn't count either as being 'asked out'

 

Gemma, I'd ask you out -- if I was in the UK. Actually there is someone I talked to a few times from this site from the UK. I liked her a lot but our paths never crossed.

 

Now that I am getting old I am the low priority for women. Unless they're married, then they're always hitting on me lol!

[GemmaUK]

Gemma, I'd ask you out -- if I was in the UK.

 

 

Aw!

Thank you kind sir!

[the tank]

Wow I'm really surprise by the poll . I asked out few girls each months. Maybe it's because from where I lived , my age or I'm just less shy

[Phoe]

I'm beginning to feel a bit more normal after the responses on here.

 

Thanks for posting it Phoe! )

 

This is why I posted it! Glad it's done some good, that makes me happy

[Daisy-oliviaWentcher]

Ive been asked out four or five times out this year and was dating a guy for four months. Im now 31 and my last proper relationship ( excluding the guy I was dating for four months) was when I was 18-20 years of age. So getting asked out four or five times this year is a new record! I still think it's a lot! and it's not me making any moves at all, it's them making moves on me.

[Toodaloo]

I think it's fair to say that an average women with a smile on her face / showing confidence, is more likely to get a smile back along with a conversation from a man in the grocery store, than an average woman who seems full of herself, and gives you "the look".

 

'Other factors at play', might be :

1. what is in her shopping basket/trolley

2. you are in a lineup sandwich between people

3. she has kids i.e. single mother

 

So what makes for an interesting basket?

 

Mine is usually full of salad (extra lettuce for the chooks), veg/ fruit (extra carrots and apples for the nags), a bit of meat (sausages, fish and chicken for the dogs), loo rolls, cleaning stuff and some milk... If I am being radical a DVD or CD...

[nomadic_butterfly]

It really depends on how often I go out, where and with whom. At work some hard core flirting going on, but I usually turn it down. Unless I REALLY like someone, I am not going to go there plus you don't want to get that kind of reputation.

 

I get asked out all the time, out and about, and especially in social settings (i.e. a bar). When I was online several times a week at least.

 

I also find the group I hang out with influences things too. For instance, last night I attended a charity event and was invited to it by a male friend. I was chatting with he and a few of his male friends the whole night. I got a lot of looks, but no guy approach me as they weren't sure if we were an item.

 

I've become a lot more social this year (though I can definitely improve) and I realized as a single woman I haven't been putting myself out there (in real life) enough. For years I only did the online thing.

[Mister Zen]

As a guy.. i used to approach women all the time. It did not matter where on when and I'd land a number. But I've quit doing this mostly because of the awkward no that I started to receive rather frequently.

 

Net dating I'll message around 20-30 women a week. I get responses maybe 1/3 of them of those I might get 2-3 numbers. Of those 1 in 10 turns into an actual date.

 

I've basically quit flirting with women in real life. Mostly due to the fact that most are rude. If guys check you out but don't ask for your number you can thank your female friends that are rude to men who do.

 

I second this.

 

I was a PUA in my 20's and even with top game and skills I got rejected 90% of the time. On top of that, most women consider me "handsome" so I can only imagine what its like for less attractive men.

 

I have totally stopped cold approaching women unless I get obvious signs of interest. Even then, I don't always bother. Just tired of the hoop jumping. I'm done.

[JuneJulySeptember]

A bit of a debate came up in another thread, and rather than clog that thread up, I figured this would be an interesting comment.

 

There's a belief out there, that women get asked out VERY often. Every few weeks even.

 

I'm sure for some ladies this is true, but for your average woman, it's likely less than this.

 

How often do you get asked out? What counts as an approach and what doesn't? How often do you accept or reject?

 

Seems to me that the responses indicate that most women get approached relatively often.

 

Other posts also indicate a decent rate of rejection.

 

Even you admitted that your friend rejects men aplenty.

 

Maybe if I knew which women would be flattered to be asked out, I would target them specifically. But it is impossible to tell which is which.

[Phoe]

Seems to me that the responses indicate that most women get approached relatively often.

 

Other posts also indicate a decent rate of rejection.

 

Even you admitted that your friend rejects men aplenty.

 

Maybe if I knew which women would be flattered to be asked out, I would target them specifically. But it is impossible to tell which is which.

 

 

Depends what you call "often"

 

There are 16 votes indicating frequent approaches.

 

There are almost 50 in the "less frequently" to "never" range.

 

Therefore MOST women, are going to be in the less frequent territory. Yes, there are women who get asked out regularly, they are less common. They are not "most women".

 

That was the entire point of this thread. To show that yes, there are women who get approached frequently, they are not rare, yes I personally know one. But MOST women, your average everyday woman, is not getting constantly hounded like people tend to exaggerate.

 

If you can look at the poll results, see the numbers, and still deduce that MOST women are being asked out often, then there's nothing more I can say and I give up. Lol.

[somedude81]

If one counts "Some months but not others" as getting asked out every other month or so, then that means that 48% of women get asked out at least that frequently.

 

Conversely, only 37% of men said they get asked out "A few times a year at most"

 

25% of women said they get asked out at least once a month. While 11% of men reported getting asked out at least once a month.

 

My interpretation of the results is that the average woman gets asked out several times each year. While others are getting asked out very frequently.

 

Now if only there way to know which women weren't getting asked out, for science of course

[SJC2008]

While I beleive in outliers and woman whom are shy or women who put out vad vibes, most women get hit on enough to not have to worry about finding a bf. For every guy who's afraid to approach, 5 guys aren't. Most people are coupled up. So have the tides turned and women are the majority initiators now? I don't think so.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Depends what you call "often"

 

There are 16 votes indicating frequent approaches.

 

There are almost 50 in the "less frequently" to "never" range.

 

Therefore MOST women, are going to be in the less frequent territory. Yes, there are women who get asked out regularly, they are less common. They are not "most women".

 

That was the entire point of this thread. To show that yes, there are women who get approached frequently, they are not rare, yes I personally know one. But MOST women, your average everyday woman, is not getting constantly hounded like people tend to exaggerate.

 

If you can look at the poll results, see the numbers, and still deduce that MOST women are being asked out often, then there's nothing more I can say and I give up. Lol.

 

You're losing me.

 

To be perfectly honest, the male/female bent is not really something I care about.

 

All I care about is that when I ask out women and I get rejected, they do so in a manner that seems that they have many options. In other words, almost never does a woman give me as much hope as I give her. I can think of one situation. Again, I'm not whining. I'm used to it.

 

And I know what people's response is going to be. It's because you're miserable and your personality sucks. That's kind of an ad hominem response. Most people from work/school/my past would say I'm a pretty pleasant person.

 

So, you're saying that if I had asked out you, since it happens so seldom, that you'd have given me a chance, or at least shown some surprise or flattery? I believe you, I do. I just haven't seen that response from any women I meet in real life, no matter what they look like. In other words, I formulate my opinion on your topic from my own personal experiences. Flawed and/or skewed? Possibly.

 

I should videotape myself for a year and show Loveshack what I mean. If everybody did that, along with included a picture of themselves, it would pretty much blow the doors off this place.

Edited October 14, 2014 by JuneJulySeptember

[Phoe]

 

So, you're saying that if I had asked out you, since it happens so seldom, that you'd have given me a chance, or at least shown some surprise or flattery? I believe you, I do. I just haven't seen that response from any women I meet in real life, no matter what they look like. In other words, I formulate my opinion on your topic from my own personal experiences. Flawed and/or skewed? Possibly.

 

Unless you approached me in a sleazy or creepy way, if I were single, it would be very likely that your approach would be accepted. I don't reject men. I see no reason to not give a guy a chance. And I'd absolutely be flattered. It's a rare day that I get asked out and it always has made me feel special when it happens.

 

It's unfortunate that the women you've approqched are so robotic in their rejections, because I REALLY believe that most women are more likely to be polite. I've never understood when people can't be kind or polite to someone who has approached them.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Unless you approached me in a sleazy or creepy way, if I were single, it would be very likely that your approach would be accepted. I don't reject men. I see no reason to not give a guy a chance. And I'd absolutely be flattered. It's a rare day that I get asked out and it always has made me feel special when it happens.

 

Just to be honest, I think this attitude of yours would pretty much blow the mind of not only the men, but most women participating in this thread.

 

Like I said, secret vidcam. I'm looking into it.