Toodaloo Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I voted "Can't remember" but actually I think it was in 1862... we went to the theater... Most of the time its just "hanging out" that then goes somewhere... I sometimes get a lot of looks when I bother to put make up on but 9/10 I do not even get looked at. Link to post Share on other sites
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 About once or twice a month, but I live in a big city and my friends frequent hot spots with a lot of people our age. I've never accepted any of these offers. It's just not my style. I am small and average-looking at best. Even when I'm reading (a universal sign for "leave me alone") men seem to have no problem approaching me. I guess I'm just very nonthreatening. Link to post Share on other sites
jessicachoi Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 i barely get asked out in a proper way. But inappropiate ways? Very often, including catcalling or dirty gross pickup lines. I am pretty sure i dont give a weird vibe and I am very open and friendly. I meet guys and have a lovely conversation and give my number out, seeing them as potiontal dating partner but they dont ask me out again... actually only ask me to sext or hookup. I been asked out on dates in high school more than in college/after that Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I never get asked out, unless I put myself in a situation to be asked out. Just going to work, grocery store and lunch...no. If I go to a meetup, yes. At singles meetups I always get a phone number. And through OLD. But I'm older, single men are not in my immediate environment. Link to post Share on other sites
isisisweeping Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) It's inconsistent. I get asked out more by guys when I look terrible, for whatever reason. The more events I go to, the more I get asked out, though in certain areas of town with different demographics I get asked out more cold than in others. I almost never get asked out by the geeky, smart guys whom I exclusively prefer except on online dating. And too many of them want to be my friend! I don't have much interest in dating a guy who doesn't demonstrate intelligence and an interest in me beyond what I look like, so I never go out with people who ask me out in public, though theoretically I would if they were commenting with knowledge on my t-shirt or book... I am in the sweet zone of slightly above average which is not ugly and not intimidating to guys, in that regard... I almost always dress conservatively unless for a specific reason on a date for a specific guy. Edited October 6, 2014 by isisisweeping Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I remember getting a bit irritated at a friend a few years ago. She was getting approached rather often (I'd say she's the most approached woman I've ever known) and she was constantly turning them down. Guys that I would've been thrilled to date, she just brushed aside. Especially when a guy I liked asked her out and she said "eww", I finally told her how I thought it was ridiculous how she wouldn't give these perfectly decnt guys a chance, and it actually caused a fight. Naturally, I was out of line to question her desires, and wish I'd realized it then, but no going back now When you've been asked out and accepted dates often, you usually can sense pretty quickly who you will or will not "click with" almost right away. You also have a luxury of being selective In fact, you may have to do that if your dance card is full. There is no point in accepting a date or giving your number to someone who turns you off fast either. All that being said, though, you just really never know. I've dated some guys who I wasn't really attracted to and ended up having a really good time. It didn't go too far, but nevertheless, I'd had fun and made a new friend occasionally. Link to post Share on other sites
WhatIsLove2014 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I just got out of a 2 year relationship a few months ago so that's why mine is rare. But even since I've been single, IRL I've yet to be asked out but I don't go out a lot so that's my problem lol Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 No more than a couple times per year. Last year it was a guy who was sadly too much into alcohol for my taste. This year it's been a guy just last week; too bad that I live in a different city now. I really had a good first impression of this guy and still am curious, but I don't want a LDR in which we'd meet only on Saturdays. That's no base for a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
varonny Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I don't get asked out that often. That being said I don't really go out into settings where there are heaps of chances to be asked out - but even when I was putting myself out there guys would rarely come up to me. Maybe twice this year? Both times we'd met at a mutual friends party and chatted for a bit beforehand. Cold approaches never happen, as apparently I'm a bit intimidating. I'm also not really interested in anything at the moment - I must be giving off vibes! Link to post Share on other sites
acrosstheuniverse Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 If I'm online dating, daily. Otherwise, rarely. I'm in a relationship and by the time anyone has spoken to me long enough to build a rapport enough to ask me out they already know I am not available and therefore don't ask. Link to post Share on other sites
kodakgirl Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Excluding OLD, I've been asked out all of two times in my life, both before I was 19 (I'm 26). I live in a big city, I'm very nice, I'm attractive enough to literally turn heads without make-up. Though, to be fair, a) I'm not very social. I'm friendly, but I have a very small social circle and I almost never go to social events like parties, or even 'out'; and b) For the last two years I've been in a field that's 90% women, so meeting a fellow at school or work has pretty much been out. Before that I worked in retail at a women's clothing store, so, again; c) I'm very shy/socially anxious and even when I know a fellow I find attractive is looking at me I can't even get up the nerve to smile back (though we get talking in a more natural situation I'll definitely show interest). If I changed one or more of these things maybe I could start to approach the normal range... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Candy_Pants Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Cool, seems like I'm in the majority. For the record, I actually don't know ANY women who get asked out every week. Some of the girls I know are literally models, too. And others are very friendly and sociable. Hi, I'm Candy. And despite being a separated new mommy, I get asked out quite often. So now you know someone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I've never been asked out. Usually when I get into a relationship, it's because I asked them or we just "hung out" and it turned romantic. I find the problem with these questions/answers is that no matter what, the data can be twisted to continue suiting the toxic belief. So the guy who believes that women have it so easy in dating/all women get asked out constantly is just going to tell himself that women who don't "are 5's and below", and not real women anyway so he can continue believing that all real women get tons of attention. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 One little point. I believe women should also include approaches as "getting asked out," even if the guy doesn't ask for a phone number or try to make a date. Regardless of the end result, he was still interested enough to make the approach. Are you saying that every time a man speaks to me in public I should consider myself to have been asked out by him? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
verhrzn Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Are you saying that every time a man speaks to me in public I should consider myself to have been asked out by him? Hey it took a lot of nerve for that married man to ask me what time it was at Subway last week. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 If you want to get asked out, here's a tip ladies. All you really need is to put on a warm smile. Try it sometime and you will be surprised at the responses you get. One thing I noticed, I got approached more when I was in sweats with my hair up, with very little makeup on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
venusishername Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 If you want to get asked out, here's a tip ladies. All you really need is to put on a warm smile. Try it sometime and you will be surprised at the responses you get. I totally agree with this. So simple. I've been making a conscious effort to do this lately and to not be afraid to strike up a conversation with someone who interests me. I used to be very closed off and I'm sure came off as unapproachable and aloof, maybe shy or even snobby to some men. I'm used to being approached, but I figure it can't hurt to work on being more approachable! Eye contact and warm smile! So easy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
boilingpoint Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 I've never been asked out. Usually when I get into a relationship, it's because I asked them or we just "hung out" and it turned romantic. I find the problem with these questions/answers is that no matter what, the data can be twisted to continue suiting the toxic belief. So the guy who believes that women have it so easy in dating/all women get asked out constantly is just going to tell himself that women who don't "are 5's and below", and not real women anyway so he can continue believing that all real women get tons of attention. It's not a belief. It's true and yes it is toxic. If I start a poll saying: Guys, how often have you been approached by girls you'd have these results: 0 - Quite often: Once or more times per week 0 - Somewhat often: Once or more times per month but not weekly 0 - Not that often: Some months but not others 1 - Fairly rarely: No more than a couple times a year 73 - Can't remember the last time Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Hi, I'm Candy. And despite being a separated new mommy, I get asked out quite often. So now you know someone. You do realise anyone who goes by the name Candy has a sweet edge over other women 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tayken Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 If you want to get asked out, here's a tip ladies. All you really need is to put on a warm smile. Try it sometime and you will be surprised at the responses you get. One thing I noticed, I got approached more when I was in sweats with my hair up, with very little makeup on. Not sure about the sweats, but I concur with the makeup comment. Nobody likes false advertisement i.e. what you see is NOT what you end up getting when the lights come on / in the morning. Personally, I like a well dressed woman (what your grandma will approve), and it doesn't go unnoticed for me after I have finished looking at the shoes first. Yes the shoes speak volumes Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 It's not a belief. It's true and yes it is toxic. If I start a poll saying: Guys, how often have you been approached by girls you'd have these results: 0 - Quite often: Once or more times per week 0 - Somewhat often: Once or more times per month but not weekly 0 - Not that often: Some months but not others 1 - Fairly rarely: No more than a couple times a year 73 - Can't remember the last time Put your money where your mouth is - make the thread 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Phoe Posted October 6, 2014 Author Share Posted October 6, 2014 If you want to get asked out, here's a tip ladies. All you really need is to put on a warm smile. Try it sometime and you will be surprised at the responses you get. One thing I noticed, I got approached more when I was in sweats with my hair up, with very little makeup on. This never worked for me. a few years ago I started making a point of smiling at strangers. Everyone. Old, young, man, woman. It mostly got me confused looks, like "ooookaaay. Why's this weirdo smiling at me?" I've noticed the elderly folks love it though. I can't tell you how often I get into a cute conversation in public with a random older man or lady. And there's a few couples who walk the block in the mornings and I wave at them as they pass my yard, if I see them and am out there. So, while I'm a much happier person for smiling at strangers, it didn't get me any approaches 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 To date, these are the only times I was ever cold-approached: -When I was 15, the KFC dude asked my cousin for my phone number -When I was 29, a creepy taxi driver asked if I wanted to meet him for lunch So yeah, I'm going to vote for "I get asked out once in 10 years" Similarly, this is so rare for me that I can name when it happened: I was 17, touring a college campus, and a guy that was in a studio we visited as a group ran to catch up with us in a different part of the campus and hand me his phone number. First and last time that ever happened I think a lot of guys I know showed interest in me before I married, but I would purposefully steer the conversation to avoid being asked out if I wasn't interested. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Hey it took a lot of nerve for that married man to ask me what time it was at Subway last week. You have to respond to the feeler correctly first before they come around to actually asking you out. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 Only if the guy walks up to you and starts a conversation. If you think that there really isn't a reason to him to approach you, most likely its because he is interested. FWIW, women "approach" this way, too, hoping the guy will be interested and ask her out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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