Lies Male Virgins / Inexperienced Guys are told

[Anela]

I actually would prefer a virgin. My experiences have always been better with virgins or men with little experience.

 

I know a guy who's a virgin. He's awesome. But I know he'd never consider me. His standards are high.

 

Why would you not meet his standards? I've thought the same about myself, when it comes to certain men, regarding my lack of education, things happening in my personal life that affected me in a negative way, etc. When I feel better, I can see my good points.

 

Aside from the fact that you're newly out of a serious relationship, from what you've mentioned here in the past, I don't see why he might consider you to be beneath him.

[Phoe]

Why would you not meet his standards? I've thought the same about myself, when it comes to certain men, regarding my lack of education, things happening in my personal life that affected me in a negative way, etc. When I feel better, I can see my good points.

 

Aside from the fact that you're newly out of a serious relationship, from what you've mentioned here in the past, I don't see why he might consider you to be beneath him.

 

Definitely hypothetical, as I won't be dating any time soon.

 

I've just always found him to be a great guy. But he only shows interest in the most top tier girls, it would be a lost cause for me.

[Under The Radar]

Definitely hypothetical, as I won't be dating any time soon.

 

I've just always found him to be a great guy. But he only shows interest in the most top tier girls, it would be a lost cause for me.

 

But you are a top tier girl ...... even if some people gloss over that fact ...... the right guy will see you for the truth ...... a beautiful woman with a huge heart.

[CrystalCastles]

Definitely hypothetical, as I won't be dating any time soon.

 

I've just always found him to be a great guy. But he only shows interest in the most top tier girls, it would be a lost cause for me.

 

So how do you know he doesn't think you're a top tier girl? Maybe that's exactly what he thinks!

 

And fyi, just because you consider yourself to be "average", it doesn't mean other people will agree with you. There are guys I am sure, who think you're better than just plain ole "average".

[Phoe]

But you are a top tier girl ...... even if some people gloss over that fact ...... the right guy will see you for the truth ...... a beautiful woman with a huge heart.

 

So how do you know he doesn't think you're a top tier girl? Maybe that's exactly what he thinks!

 

And fyi, just because you consider yourself to be "average", it doesn't mean other people will agree with you. There are guys I am sure, who think you're better than just plain ole "average".

 

Some guys might like me, but he would not be interested.

 

But In any case, yes, a virgin would make me happy.

[somedude81]

I actually would prefer a virgin. My experiences have always been better with virgins or men with little experience.

 

I know a guy who's a virgin. He's awesome. But I know he'd never consider me. His standards are high.

 

How would you define a man with little experience?

[Phoe]

How would you define a man with little experience?

 

Been with one or two girls.

 

I've noticed that if a guy has been with enough girls to consider himself experienced, he's much more likely to be set in his ways and do things a certain way, and then say "oh the girls love this. Every girl loves this. Every girl I've been with loved this, why don't you?" And be more convinced that there's just something wrong with me than being interested in trying something different.

 

Inexperienced men are more likely to be open minded and willing to learn. Especially virgins. Overly experienced men often see no need to learn because they think they know it all.

 

Of course, there are experienced men who do adapt, and there are virgins who might never learn, but I typically am happier with a virgin.

 

Not to mention, once a guy is in double digit territory, I am kinda grossed out.

[ThaWholigan]

This whole virgin/inexperienced thing is played out FFS. I have much bigger obstacles in the way of success with women than my inexperience. Once I figured that out, I had sex with 2 women in a short space of time and dated a couple of others. And I never had to lie about being a virgin either. Even now, I don't hide my inexperience.

 

I didn't suck on my first time either (well, there was sucking involved ). It wasn't that difficult, all I had to do was focus on her.

 

Anyway, you can lie about being inexperienced/a virgin if you want. Or, you can do what I did: make peace with your inexperience - and still be comfortable going into any sexual encounter. I didn't lie, both girls knew I was inexperienced and they still f*cked me. Bottom line - if she really wants to f*ck you, she won't care if you're a virgin, she'll still wanna f*ck you.

[somedude81]

Been with one or two girls.

 

I've noticed that if a guy has been with enough girls to consider himself experienced, he's much more likely to be set in his ways and do things a certain way, and then say "oh the girls love this. Every girl loves this. Every girl I've been with loved this, why don't you?" And be more convinced that there's just something wrong with me than being interested in trying something different.

 

Inexperienced men are more likely to be open minded and willing to learn. Especially virgins. Overly experienced men often see no need to learn because they think they know it all.

 

Of course, there are experienced men who do adapt, and there are virgins who might never learn, but I typically am happier with a virgin.

 

Not to mention, once a guy is in double digit territory, I am kinda grossed out.

 

What if a guy was only with one girl, but for a very long time?

 

He might still be set in his ways and think, "She really liked it this way, so it must be the only way."

 

Still I'm not going to argue with you about not wanting a guy too experienced. Or not wanting to be with a man-whore.

 

What I feel is very important is an eagerness to learn what the current woman enjoys and not really bother with the things she doesn't care about.

 

While I've been with a small handful of women, I will say that I'm still inexperienced enough that I'm fascinated by the female body. Women are like sexy puzzles

[fortyninethousand322]

Look, once you get past say, 24 or so I think the market for inexperienced men goes way down. There may be some women who are "fine" with dating an inexperienced guy, but many are equally fine with more experienced men (who happen to know how to market themselves better, hence why they aren't inexperienced) and so many more are not fine with the inexperience.

 

The key is to not get mad about it, rather just accept it as it is. Do you lie? Yes. Unless given a good reason not to.

 

And another thing that is annoying: women who say they'd rather date a virgin than a "manwhore". Very few people fall into those extremes. Most men are moderately experienced, and it's pretty clear that the average woman would prefer a guy who had a few relationships that involved sex over both a virgin and a guy who had a girl in every port. So I think the extremes are a bit misleading.

[Mister Zen]

Virgins and inexperienced men make it too big a deal. They can't seem to grasp the fact that they only have to smash one woman to up their experience. So what is the big deal? Find some girl and sleep with her. She might think the sex sucks and you are terrible but who cares? You'll be better for the next one and so on and so on...

[Phoe]

And another thing that is annoying: women who say they'd rather date a virgin than a "manwhore".

 

So very sorry that my personal preference annoys you

[CrystalCastles]

Been with one or two girls.

 

I've noticed that if a guy has been with enough girls to consider himself experienced, he's much more likely to be set in his ways and do things a certain way, and then say "oh the girls love this. Every girl loves this. Every girl I've been with loved this, why don't you?" And be more convinced that there's just something wrong with me than being interested in trying something different.

 

Inexperienced men are more likely to be open minded and willing to learn. Especially virgins. Overly experienced men often see no need to learn because they think they know it all.

 

Of course, there are experienced men who do adapt, and there are virgins who might never learn, but I typically am happier with a virgin.

 

Not to mention, once a guy is in double digit territory, I am kinda grossed out.

 

Phoe, while its perfectly fine to have a preference, however I think its still important to remember not to discount someone who is otherwise perfect for you, but has had more partners than you'd like.

 

When you meet the right man, things like this go down the drain and they're not important. I mean, yeah, if he was into swinging, or he had a huge number of partners and didn't use protection, or cheated, etc, that would probably be a dealbreaker for most people since those are either lifestyle preferences or issues most people don't like in a partner. However, if a guy had 10 partners, or 11, maybe a few ONS among them where both parties were aware it was an ONS and no-one was getting played and they used protection, would you really discount him if he was kind and loving and eager to learn?

 

I remember I had the same opinion- I was turned off whenever a date said he had many casual relationships in the past or hinted at a high number. However, when I met the right man, whatever history he had stopped mattering. I can't really say much more than that without discussing my partner's personal details on here, but just believe me when I say that you won't care if a guy is a virgin, or slept with 10 or 20 people when he makes you feel like you're the only woman there is. When just the thought of him makes your heart soar and puts a smile on your face.

 

These discussions I find, in the end, are all pretty much hypothetical, from personal experience. In the end, any checklists, preferences, etc, fly out the window when you meet someone who knocks your socks off.

[Divasu]

Women are like sexy puzzles

 

Whiz-bang.

[somedude81]

Whiz-bang.

 

It's the truth!

 

And there's a prize at the end once you figure out how all the pieces go together

[Toodaloo]

I will be honest.

 

I don't want to know.

 

I don't want to date a chap thats been with hundreds of women (risk of STD's goes up here other than that it doesn't bother me). I don't want to know about the past unless it affects my health.

 

I am far more interested in what is going on right now and what the future holds.

 

Guys who are virgins and worried. Don't. The first time with ANYONE regardless of experience is always rubbish. It takes practice, it takes exploration. But if you start twittering on about how you are a virgin... sorry but I am going to run, for the hills, Why? Because if you are twittering on about it it means that you are insecure about it. I don't want to go out or sleep with an insecure man... I want to go out with the man I can look at and think you are a God! Yep - that is the way I want to look at the men I date! Shagging is NOT the only thing that makes me think this, remember that. But if you come at me in the bedroom with a grin on your face, a proud manhood and dive in and have fun - well that is how I will view you in the bedroom. Women are not text book. We all have different hot spots in different places. Your never going to know straight away what makes a woman tick because we are all different. Accept that right now. When you are sleeping with someone new its a blank canvas regardless of whether you have slept with 50 women or none! You are equal to all men. Now your job is to find out what does make her tick so you can be above all men. The trick is to be confident enough to go on a mission to find those hot spots. She will tell you when you get it right or wrong!!! Just listen and act upon it!!!

 

So for goodness sake concentrate on the here and now, concentrate on what is important to you, don't be bashful, get in there and have a fumble and a rummage and find out what we like. FOREPLAY... any man who is engages in foreplay will almost always be deemed a sex god by any woman because in general we like to be touched, kissed and aroused. This does not mean shoving your fingers in for thirty seconds prior to the "main course" it means exploring, kissing, stroking, caressing all over... After that its not rocket science. Porn films are balls but they do help point in the right direction for items such as the clitoris, just the same as any self help book from Amazon or your local book shop would do with out the fake grunting and be more informative. Make it up as you go along... that is all anyone else has done!

 

My advice, learn as much as you can from books, then shut up and get on with it. The worst sex is that with insecure men. The best sex is with men that enjoy it and want to get involved and have some fun. SO STOP WHINING.

 

You are men for goodness sake, not wimps. We do not need to know these things unless your growing something abnormal that could affect our health down there. Grow a pair and use them! Be proud of them! They are not referred to as the "family jewels" for nothing you know!

[fortyninethousand322]

So very sorry that my personal preference annoys you

 

It's not that. It's that most men don't fall into those extremes. So it's an unhelpful thing to say.

[snowflakepua]

Exactly. Totally agree. Most women want the experienced guy because women are turned on by the fact that other women find you attractive.

 

See for a woman getting a sex partner is about as difficult as walking down the street. For a man, especially an inexperienced man, this is about as difficult as running several miles uphill. Can definitely be done but requires a huge amount of work even for in-shape attractive guys. Women no matter what they say, in the end can not understand this. They are almost all incapable of understanding this. Since women don't understand and won't ever really understand this why talk about this.

 

Women consider inexperienced guys weird, unattractive and repulsive so men need to lie about this.

 

Look, once you get past say, 24 or so I think the market for inexperienced men goes way down. There may be some women who are "fine" with dating an inexperienced guy, but many are equally fine with more experienced men (who happen to know how to market themselves better, hence why they aren't inexperienced) and so many more are not fine with the inexperience.

 

The key is to not get mad about it, rather just accept it as it is. Do you lie? Yes. Unless given a good reason not to.

 

And another thing that is annoying: women who say they'd rather date a virgin than a "manwhore". Very few people fall into those extremes. Most men are moderately experienced, and it's pretty clear that the average woman would prefer a guy who had a few relationships that involved sex over both a virgin and a guy who had a girl in every port. So I think the extremes are a bit misleading.

[snowflakepua]

Phoe, don't feel that way. You are a lovely woman and I have to give you props for dating men who are inexperienced 98% of women would never do this...

 

Definitely hypothetical, as I won't be dating any time soon.

 

I've just always found him to be a great guy. But he only shows interest in the most top tier girls, it would be a lost cause for me.

[snowflakepua]

Yes that is why they should have sex with several sluts before they have sex with someone they really care about.

 

Virgins and inexperienced men make it too big a deal. They can't seem to grasp the fact that they only have to smash one woman to up their experience. So what is the big deal? Find some girl and sleep with her. She might think the sex sucks and you are terrible but who cares? You'll be better for the next one and so on and so on...

[Andy_K]

Been with one or two girls.

 

I've noticed that if a guy has been with enough girls to consider himself experienced, he's much more likely to be set in his ways and do things a certain way, and then say "oh the girls love this. Every girl loves this. Every girl I've been with loved this, why don't you?" And be more convinced that there's just something wrong with me than being interested in trying something different.

 

Given that you mostly have been with inexperienced guys, are you sure you've been with enough experienced guys to know this?

 

Because what I know is, the more girls I've slept with, the more I've found out how wildly what they like in bed varies. I've become more open minded and never assume I know all the answers. Back when I'd only been with a few girls and found something that worked really well - especially if it was over a long period of time with the same girl - I was convinced the same thing would be right for every girl.

 

Possibly the more experienced guys you have dated were just.... Dicks? Do you think they would have been more interested in trying something else if they'd met you sooner? I don't.

[Phoe]

It's not that. It's that most men don't fall into those extremes. So it's an unhelpful thing to say.

 

It's unhelpful for me to come into a thread that's main point is to tell men "you need to lie, women hate virgins, sleep with a bunch of sluts", and say HEY actually, that's not true, there are women who are quite happy with virgins and inexperienced men, you don't have to go to extreme measures.

 

That's unhelpful? Okay. Sorry virgin men, I guess you're not supposed to know my opinion and should just keep pointlessly beating yourself up about it.

 

Given that you mostly have been with inexperienced guys, are you sure you've been with enough experienced guys to know this?

 

Because what I know is, the more girls I've slept with, the more I've found out how wildly what they like in bed varies. I've become more open minded and never assume I know all the answers. Back when I'd only been with a few girls and found something that worked really well - especially if it was over a long period of time with the same girl - I was convinced the same thing would be right for every girl.

 

Possibly the more experienced guys you have dated were just.... Dicks? Do you think they would have been more interested in trying something else if they'd met you sooner? I don't.

 

I knew someone would go this route, which is why my post stated that I'm aware that there are experienced men who learn and adapt, as well as inexperienced men who may never be inclined to learn.

 

I haven't been with many men at all. Experienced or not. Just stating, from my own experiences, that the inexperienced ones were more inclined to learn, and the experienced ones felt that they knew it all, and wanted to put the blame on me for not enjoying something.

 

Again, will repeat what I said earlier, that I am not stating that my experience indicates that all men are like this, I'm well aware that there are experienced men who learn and adapt.

 

I just prefer, and am more comfortable with inexperienced men.

[somedude81]

I just prefer, and am more comfortable with inexperienced men.

 

Do you enjoy teaching a guy about best how to please you?

[Phoe]

Do you enjoy teaching a guy about best how to please you?

 

Yes, which is why having someone who is willing to learn, is so awesome. It's fun when I can tell a guy what I like, and he tries it out.

 

It's definitely not fun when I tell a guy what I like and I get a "wtf, that's not how it's supposed to be" response.

[CrystalCastles]

Do you enjoy teaching a guy about best how to please you?

 

And what exactly is so wrong about that?

 

Every woman is different. Hell, every woman's vagina is different. You can't take a list of things the last girl liked, apply them to the next girl and expect to get the same response.

 

My bf's exes didn't care for oral at all. I absolutely LOVE it. So he went and read a bunch of articles on what to do (I couldn't really guide him much there since before him I'd never gotten oral, besides to tell him what I liked or didn't like), and "practiced" what he read on me, and honestly it was so mindblowing I've never had such strong orgasms before. He took the open-minded approach and adapted to my needs that differed from other girls.

 

A close friend of mine dated this one girl for 5 years. The girl "expected" that my friend would know everything without her guidance so their sex life consisted of her laying on the bed like a vegetable, expecting him to know exactly how to pleasure her. Oh, and she'd get very mad if he tried something "wrong".

 

I think when you consider all things, in the end it matters little whether you are experienced or not. It just matters if you're open-minded and eager to learn. That is a very sexy attitude in bed.

 

Experienced is also very relative. If a guy has been in two or three long-term relationships, had sex every day in them, then how is he any less experienced than someone who had 30 ONS? At least in a relationship, you're more open to exploring, trying out new techniques, learning about your partner's body. You don't get that opportunity in ONS, etc.

 

In the end, its just best to get a non-judgemental girl, who will appreciate you for who you are, rather than making fun of you for the number of vaginas you stuck your penis into. You don't really want to date a judgemental person anyway.